Season Three With A Twist
by I've Got Nerve
Summary: Third part of the With a Twist Series. Follow Sam, Dean, and Alyson through Season three. How does Aly react to the deal? How does Dean react to Aly's reaction? How do they deal with the deal?
1. After Effects Pt One

**Okay, so I just wanted to disclaim the show, because as much as I wish I was the genius behind this...I'm not.**

**Also, I want to thank all the people who've stuck with the story, who waited patiently (or impatiently) for me to update. LOL**

**After Effects  
Part One**

**Dean and I were pretty much…not together anymore even though neither one of us had said the goodbye words. But that was mostly because I refused to talk to him, or be in the same room with him alone, unless I had to.**

**I hadn't' had the heart to remove the ring he'd given me, or the charm bracelet. So maybe the better description of what we were was…we were at a standstill…and I wasn't helping matter any.**

**We were at Bobby's now and I was actually still staying in a different room at night than Dean. It hurt him, I could tell by the way he acted around me. But I didn't care. I took a sort of perverse pleasure knowing he was hurting because of me. He'd caused me pain by selling his soul and now I wanted him to hurt like I was.**

**I was being childish and petty. I knew that, but again, I didn't care. Not one bit. I was acting out like a rebellious teenager, or that's what I felt like. I'd even called up Chris - just to spite Dean. I'd said I wouldn't see him anymore, but I saw that as void now that Dean had pretty much sealed his fate.**

**I was acting like a spoiled brat, but I felt I was entitled to some bratty behavior considering how much I was hurting right now.**

**So I was seeing Chris - not as in _seeing_ him, but as in hanging with him and his friends, namely Chloe. We were at the pizzeria - the lunch with them that I hadn't gotten to have.**

"**So, why'd you change you're mind? Dean had a change of heart?"**

**I swallowed the bite of pizza I'd taken, buying time in the process. "Not really. I just decided I don't care that he doesn't like you. I do, and that should be enough."**

"**So, not a bad breakup then?" Chloe asked. "You just…have the look."**

**I grimaced slightly. "Not a breakup, exactly. Just a major obstacle."**

**Chris looked extremely sympathetic. Genuinely. "Seeing as you're mad…he was the one who screwed up?"**

"**Um…he did something extremely stupid." I swallowed again, though this time it wasn't for time; it was because I felt a sob coming on. "Can we talk about something else?"**

"**Sure," Chris said. "Actually, I was gonna asked you - since you're hanging out with us again - if you wanted to volunteer for something."**

"**For what?"**

"**Well, my symbology class wants to take a trip to Egypt this summer and we're having a fundraiser to…well, raise some funds. It's like a yard sale type thing. You could donate, or, ya know, come help out. We're setting things up tonight."**

"**Tonight? Um…yeah, sure. I mean, I don't know if I'll be around much longer, but I can definitely help tonight."**

"**Well, good."**

* * *

**I went back to Bobby's and was confronted by Dean. An angry Dean.**

"**So, what might you and Chris have done?"**

"**We were eating pizza," I said. "Do you care?"**

**Dean clenched his teeth together. "No, why would I? You're just my girlfriend." He sighed. "Look…I know you're hurting, and that's my fault. I know that. I -"**

"**_Don't_," I seethed. "If the words 'I'm sorry' are about to come out of your mouth, I don't wanna hear it."**

**I went around him to go upstairs, but he grabbed my wrist and turned me around to face him again.**

"**Talk to me," he said, pleaded, and I felt my resolve falling away. "Or, God, hit me if you want. But don't shut me out. Please."**

"**Dean, I can't… I don't even know what to say. What d'you want me to say?"**

**He grinned sadly. "That I'm an idiot, but you love me anyway."**

**I sighed shakily, filling tears fill my eyes. "I _do_ love you anyway. That's the problem, Dean. It hurts…you have no idea how much I'm hurting right now. I just…" I freed my wrist. "I've really gotta…"**

**I turned around and ran up the stairs. Dean didn't get it, didn't get why I was hurting so much. It was because no matter how much he loved me, I wasn't enough for him, not enough to make him happy. If I had been, Dean wouldn't have a death sentence.**

**And the thing was, I had _known_ I didn't overshadow Sam, and I was okay with that. I'd accepted that a long time ago. But the fact that Dean would rather sell his soul to have Sam alive, than be able to be happy with me…it hurt. Dean would rather be in hell knowing Sam was alive, then be here with me, but without Sam.**

* * *

**That night I ended up at the college campus in Jack's Charger. I felt a pang in my chest when I realized he'd never get to drive his car again. Or do anything again, actually. With all that had been going on - Sam dying and coming back to life, Dean making the deal - I hadn't really had the chance to mourn my dad.**

**I didn't exactly know how I was supposed to feel about his death. He'd had me on an emotional roller-coaster ride when he'd been alive. But then he'd tried helping us, which had caused his death. And what a strange death it had been what with the loud noise and all. I still didn't know what the noise had been…or why smoke had been rising from his body when Bobby and I had found him.**

**A knock on the side window shocked me out of my thoughts. It was Chloe.**

"**Hey…you all right?" she asked cautiously.**

"**Oh, uh, yeah, um…yeah." My stumbling over my words definitely reinforced that fact.**

"**Okay." She didn't push; that was what I liked about her. She was just a very calming person to be around. "I saw you were here. Thought I'd walk you to the gym since you probably don't know where it is."**

"**Oh. Is that where the sale is gonna be?"**

"**Yup. I'm not actually in symbology, but this trip seems important to Chris, so I'm helping."**

**On the way to the gym I stayed alert. It wasn't because there was a danger; it was just being alert was second nature to me now. Not to mention if someone or something _did_ attack, I didn't want Chloe getting hurt.**

"**You were crying," she said carefully. "In the car."**

**Had I been? I hadn't realized.**

"**Oh." I touched my cheek and, sure enough, wetness coated my fingertips. "Oh…it's just been…a bad couple of days."**

"**You and Dean?" she asked sympathetically. "Still fighting?"**

**I smiled softly. "I _wish_ we were fighting. It's nothing that simple. I…don't wanna talk about it." _Couldn't_ talk about it was more like it.**

"**Okay," she said simply. "I'm here, though, if…"**

"**Thank you," I said sincerely. "Really."**

* * *

**The gym was full of…_stuff_. There was a little of everything. Different tables for different things. Clothes, household appliances, hardware and tools, automobile parts, furniture, knick knacks, books, and other stuff that defied category.**

**Apparently, when Chris had said yard sale, what he meant was something else. It looked like some of the stuff was new, like maybe it had been donated from stores.**

"**Hey, I was wondering when you guys would get here. We need serious help unpacking. This local store donated a bunch of stuff. Clothes and jewelry, mostly."**

**That was Chris, of course. He was all smiles, which wasn't surprising. He usually was when I was around. I wondered if it was a mistake hanging around him so much.**

"**Point me where you want me," I said lightly.**

"**Well, I call the book table," Chloe said.**

**Chris laughed. "That's only 'cause you wanna hide the ones you want." To which Chloe blushed.**

"**Music. Do you have music?" I asked.**

"**Sure." Chris began walking. "Come on, I'll show you."**

**Chloe and I followed after him and she branched off on her own when we reached the book table. I'd actually have to come check out the selection when I was finished arranging music.**

**Arranging the music wasn't hard. There were actual records, cassette tapes, and CD's. I even saw a few classic rock tapes that Dean didn't have and I set them off to the side so _I_ could buy them if they'd accept early buying.**

**Chris didn't leave my side, I was thankful since I didn't really know anyone else besides him and Chloe. There were only about seven other people here sorting through things, so this would probably take a while.**

**After organizing them by which type of music thing it was, Chris slapped a big old piece of paper stating the prices on the table. Records were the most expensive, mostly because they were older.**

"**You should get a CD player or something. Play happy music," I suggested. "People tend to spend more when they're in a good mood."**

"**Hm. Good idea."**

"**Well, it was _my_ idea," I quipped. "All my ideas are good."**

**Chris rolled his eyes good-naturedly and shook his head. "Right, and I'm the one whose full of myself."**

**And this? This was nice. Being here with Chris helped me forget that I was hurting, that Dean was going to…die…and…yeah. I didn't want to think about it.**

"**Also, I was thinking we should sort the music by genre, you know, make them easier to find and all."**

"**Another good idea."**

* * *

"**So…will you be back tomorrow?" Chris asked. "We still have a few things to unpack and the sale starts around two."**

"**Um…maybe. If I'm still here."**

"**Are you…avoiding Dean?" he asked carefully. "I mean, if it's not my business, tell me and I'll back off. But-"**

"**No, it's okay. It's just…think between Dean and me are complicated right now. And I wish I could…talk to you about it, but I can't."**

**He was walking me to my car - well, me and Chloe. Her car was close to mine and she left us to talk.**

"**Um, I've really gotta get back to Bobby's, but I'll be back tomorrow if I'm still here."**

"**Okay."**

* * *

**Back at Bobby's I was confronted once again with one of the brothers - only this time it was Sam. He seemed pissed at me, too.**

"**What?" I asked, coming into the house.**

"**What's wrong with you?"**

**I blinked in surprise. "What?"**

"**You and Dean…you're pissed, I get it, but don't you think you could be doing more important things than fundraisers?"**

"**Like what?"**

**Sam seemed incredulous. "Like helping me find a way to get Dean out of his deal."**

**I shook my head. "There _isn't_ a way. We've helped people with deals before. The only way to break the original deal is to make another one. You know that."**

**Sam clenched his jaw. "So that's it? You're just gonna give up?" He sighed, shaking his head. "That's not like you."**

"**Yeah, well…people change."**

"**Not like you have. You've become a total brat."**

**I'd known that, I'd been telling myself that, but hearing it out loud like that from Sam of all people, hurt.**

**I scoffed bitterly. "Right, _I'm_ the one who whines all the time."**

**He sighed again. "Fine. When you wanna be yourself again, I'll be here, and we can help Dean. Okay?"**

"**Whatever."**

**I walked to my room - looking longingly at Dean's room on the way - feeling lower than low because of how I'd treated Sam. Of how I was treating both of them, actually, but mostly Sam. Dean deserved my wrath; Sam didn't.**

**This wasn't Sam's fault. I mean, yes, it was because of Sam, but it wasn't his fault. I didn't blame him.**

* * *

**The next morning I started going through Jack's things. There weren't very many. The weapons in the back of the Charger, of course, and then the things from the glove compartment. I hadn't done it yet, mostly because I'd been too busy doing other stuff that had nothing to do with hunting at all.**

**It was like Chris had said, I was trying to avoid Dean. I knew I couldn't do it for much longer. My resolve would've held strong had I _not_ talked to him the day before. If I hadn't seen how bad he was hurting, how much he needed me to talk to him.**

**Bobby was out with me going through the weapons. They were pretty standard - shotguns, hand guns, knives, exorcism books, crosses, rosaries. All things Sam and Dean had in the Impala. Jack's bag of clothes was there too.**

**The only things I found in the glove compartment was the proof of ownership of the car, and a letter addressed to me, much like my mom had done. I didn't really want to read it yet, out here with Bobby. I wanted to do it alone.**

"**So…I came out here to talk to you," Bobby said carefully. And then his mood shifted, and his voice became stern. "Can I just ask, what the hell are you doing? Fundraisers? Avoiding Dean?" He was frustrated. "I hate bustin' the bubble you're livin' in, but every day you waste doing whatever it is you're doing is one less day you have with Dean."**

**I had to admit, Bobby had a point, and I appreciated the honesty, but I had a point of my own to make. I got out of the car so I could talk to him face to face.**

"**A tired hunter is a dead hunter," I said simply. "And I _am_ tired, Bobby. I have been since Sam disappeared." That's when everything had started going downhill. "Besides, it's not like anything else is happening. Since we closed that hell-gate thing, things have been quiet."**

"**Don't you think that's strange?"**

**I shrugged. "Not really. I know I'm enjoying the vacation." _That_ was a lie. "Besides, why is no evil a bad thing? Demons need rest, too, right?"**

"**No, you idjit, it means they're planning' something."**

**I threw my head back in frustration. "I don't care!" I said. "I don't care, okay? I just wanna forget killing and being killed for a little while, okay? Is that too much to ask?"**

**Bobby stared at me, messing with rosary beads from the trunk, and his expression softened a little. "No. I just think…I don't want you letting your guard down."**

**I smiled a little at his concern. "I haven't let my guard down. Just because I'm doing something normal doesn't mean I'm not in hunter mode."**

**I fiddled with the corner of the envelope I was holding. "Do you think…can we save Dean? Do you think we'll find a way? That there _is_ a way?"**

**He sighed. "I don't know. We'll look and keep looking until…"**

**I heard the unspoken words like they'd been shouted. _Until time ran out_.**

* * *

**After talking with Bobby I went inside to the kitchen to get some water and almost turned right back around because Dean was there. But, no, I could be an adult about this.**

"**Hi," I said softly.**

**He looked up at me and I saw a flicker of hope in his eyes.**

"**Are you talking to me again?"**

**I sighed. "I'm still pissed at you," I said, "but…yes."**

**I sat at the table with him, but at the opposite end as him. I didn't know what to do or say now. Things weren't the same between us now. They were strained and tense, whereas…it had been comfortable.**

"**What's that?" he asked, pointing to the envelope I was holding.**

"**I don't know, um, I just found it in Jacks car. It's a letter, I haven't read it yet."**

"**Oh." His eyes turned careful. "What're you doin' today?"**

**I shrugged noncommittally. "That depends. Do we have a job? If we don't, I told Chris -" Dean clenched his jaw - "that I'd help out again." I sighed. "You can…come, too, if you want."**

**He looked down at the table. "Do you want me to come with you?"**

**I sighed impatiently. "I wouldn't have invited you if I didn't."**

"**I dunno, I wouldn't wanna encroach on Chris's territory."**

**I stiffened, even more tense than before. "I'm not his territory."**

**Dean let out a harsh breath. "That's an interesting reaction, but I was talking about his school. That _is_ where the fundraiser is, right?"**

"**Oh." Okay, maybe my reaction _had_ been interesting, then. "Oh."**

"**Yeah. Well, I may as well go with you. If you're gonna be hanging around him, I need to know he's safe to be around." Dean sighed. "And that's another thing. You know you're putting him in danger just by getting close to him. You're giving the other side targets. They will use him and his friends against you now."**

"**Yeah, I know that. But I can't just close myself off because I'm afraid someone will get hurt."**

"**Okay," Dean said softly. "I was just sayin'."**

"**Wow, okay, look…the sale starts at two but I said I'd get there early to help finish unpacking. You could…come now so you can meet him without all the customers."**

**Dean didn't really look like he wanted to, but he agreed. "Fine, but I'm driving."**

* * *

**The car ride to the college campus wasn't…fun, at all. It was the tensest car ride of my life. Instead of it being a fifteen minute drive, it felt like we were going cross country.**

**But we eventually got there and I was out of the car so fast it wasn't even funny. And it's not like I didn't wanna be around Dean, it was just too hard to talk to him now. Granted, most of that was my fault. I mean, yes, it was over Dean's deal, but things were strained because of _me_. Because, as Sam had said, I'd been acting like a brat. I'd been acting out because things weren't going my way. I'd been treating Dean like the bad guy when the only fault he had was that he loved his brother too much.**

**I gasped at that revelation and stopped walking toward the college gym. Dean had been walking beside me and he stopped, too.**

"**What?" he asked, alert. "What is it?"**

**I shook my head. "Nothing." I bit my lip. "Nothing. I…can I hold your hand?" I usually didn't ask, I just did it, but because of my recent actions I realized he may not want me to.**

"**Uh…sure?" He sounded uncertain at my change in attitude, but he grabbed my hand anyway.**

**When we reached the gym, I stopped right inside the doors. Everything seemed to have multiplied over night. Especially the clothes and the music. And movies had somehow appeared on the entertainment table.**

"**Alyson, hey!" Chloe called from the book table, and Dean and I walked over. "Was wondering when you'd get here."**

"**Well, here I am to save the day," I quipped. "What do you want me to do?"**

"**Well, Chris is getting those things from that shipment from that story. The boxes are in the locker room, but he'll be back in a minute. It's mostly clothes and jewelry and stuff."**

"**So clothes table, then?" I asked.**

"**Yup." She was eyeing Dean and I realized she'd never met him.**

"**Oh, um…this is Dean. Dean, this is Chloe." Introductions out of the way, I decided to go ahead to the clothes table. "Kay, well, I'll see you later."**

**Dean and I, still hand-in-hand, went to where the clothes were kept. There were shirts, pants, shorts and accessories.**

**Dean and I took in our surroundings. I did that automatically now. There were more people here today than the night before. There was a blond I recognized. She'd been there when I'd gone with Chris to the library that time. I didn't remember her name, but she was working the jewelry table.**

"**Hey." Chris brought me out of my concentration. He was holding two boxes and he placed them on the table in front of me. "There's two more. I'll be back."**

**He looked at Dean warily before turning around. I smiled softly. I knew it was because his and Dean's last meeting hadn't gone over well.**

"**I think he's scared of you," I whispered.**

**I let got of Dean's hand so I could start going through the boxes in front of me. When I touched the box to open it I yanked back. The stupid thing had shocked me.**

"**Ouch." Cardboard didn't build up static electricity, so what the hell?**

"**What?"**

"**It shocked me."**

"**The cardboard shocked you?"**

"**Yeah…it was weird."**

"**Story of our life," Dean quipped. "Here, I'll do it."**

**He started taking out belts and other accessories.**

"**Ooh!" I grabbed a black leather, silver studded belt. "I want this."**

**Dean grinned, shaking his head. Things were almost normal.**

**I hesitantly touched the other box, encouraged when it didn't shock me. This box had jewelry in it. The first piece I grabbed should've been considered a weapon; it was a spiky choker type necklace. The second was a bulky silver cross, clearly for a male.**

**When Chris came back I noticed he was wearing black jeans and a white t-shirt. The only reason I noticed was because he now had on a worn leather jacket to go with it. It wasn't the kind that bikers wore, it was thinner than that. It looked okay on him, but it clashed with his surfer-boy look.**

"**Guess you found somethin' you _had_ to have?" I asked.**

"**Yup." He looked at the jewelry. "We should get the jewelry to Britney." That was the girl I'd recognized, but hadn't remembered her name.**

"**I'll do it," I volunteered. "Try not to kill each other while I'm gone."**

**Well, mostly I mean Dean not killing Chris, because Chris was cool and all, but he didn't look like the type who'd know how to defend himself.**

**I picked up the box of jewelry, placing the two things I'd taken out back in. I walked over to the jewelry stand.**

"**I've got more stuff for you."**

**Britney looked up, recognition appearing on her face when she saw me. "Hey…you're that girl from the library."**

"**Yeah. Alyson." I smiled. "Nice to see you again."**

"**So, are you goin' to school here now, or -"**

"**No," I interrupted. "No. Uh, Chris asked me to help out, so here I am."**

"**Cool." She glanced at the clothes section. "Who's the hottie you brought with you?"**

"**That's Dean," I said.**

"**Oh. Promise-ring Dean?" she asked. Why she remembered that of all things, I didn't know.**

"**The one and only," I said.**

"**Oh, so hands off then?" she teased, but I could hear the disappointment in her voice; she'd hoped he was free.**

"**Definitely hands off." He belonged to me. "Anyway, I've gotta get back, but…have fun."**

"**Okay. Talk to you later."**

* * *

**When I got back to Dean and Chris, they both seemed extremely uncomfortable. Chloe was there also, going through some of the new arrivals.**

"**Are you keeping the peace?" I joked, seeing what exactly it was that Chloe was looking at. White lace gloves; they seemed to be old fashioned. They looked like something you'd wear with a wedding dress.**

"**They're pretty," I said. "They'd go with your skin."**

"**Yeah, I'm gonna get 'em," she said. "I have nothin' to go with them, but I like 'em."**

"**Did they come from that store? Whichever one donated all that stuff?" I asked.**

"**Yup. They're only five dollars," Chris said. "If you hold on a second I'll get the receipt books and you can go ahead and pay for them."**

"**Cool," Chloe said.**

**Then another girl from when I'd gone to the library with Chris came up. I remembered her because of her bushy red hair. Her name was Beth. She said hi and began sifting through the accessories. She picked up a black hair band, the kind that fit behind your ears, and tried it on. I liked her hair better without it, but I didn't say anything.**

**Chris came back and wrote out a receipt for Chloe, and then one for me for the belt I wanted. It was three dollars. The hair band was one dollar.**

"**Well, I'm gonna go see about jewelry," Beth said.**

**As she turned around I could swear her hair looked coarser than before. It was bristly. Or maybe I was just crazy.**

**Chloe went back to the book stand wearing the gloves and I put the black leather belt through the hoops in my jeans, buckling it in front.**

**I looked at Dean and smiled. He was looking more bored than uncomfortable at the moment.**

"**You didn't _have_ to come, ya know?" I said softly, touching his arm.**

"**Yeah, but you wanted me to," he said simply.**

**I turned to Chris, who had zipped his jacket a little and said, "So, where's the music? You promised good music."**

"**Yeah, I'm goin' to get the stereo now. It's in the band room."**

"**Oh, okay. Well, see ya."**

* * *

**After Chris got back, he started DJing with the radio - new stuff, old stuff and everything in between. Britney had walked over to the table and looked through the clothes and accessories. She found an old-fashioned, flower designed silver two way mirror. The kind movie stars carry with them.**

**She didn't seem interested in the mirror part, just the outside. It was pretty, I had to admit, and it was only three dollars, and she _really_ wanted it for some reason.**

**After she got her receipt, she went back to the jewelry table.**

**Chris tried to take his jacket off now that he was inside, but it didn't seem to want to unzip.**

"**Hm, faulty purchase," Dean said. "You should get your money back."**

"**Yeah, well, I felt like I gained weight just from walking to the band room and back." Chris was irritated. "Which isn't possible."**

"**Sit ups, maybe?" Dean suggested.**

**Then Chloe was there asking if I had any lotion.**

"**Not on me, why?" I asked.**

"**Nothing. Just my hands are itchy."**

**I glanced at them subtly. Apparently she'd scratched a lot. Her hands were red…irritated.**

"**When did that start?" I asked.**

"**Just recently?" It sounded like a question. She wasn't sure.**

"**Huh. Well, I don't have anything, but stop scratching, you're gonna make yourself bleed."**

"**Okay, Mom," she joked lightly. "It really itches."**

"**Do I need to cover your hands with bandages, Missy?" I played along with the Mom gag.**

"**Right, that'll take the itching away." She was being sarcastic.**

"**It'll keep you from scratching," Chris said. He'd given up on unzipping the leather, and was now replacing the current CD with a new one.**

"**Um…" Something occurred to me. "I'll be right back."**

"**Where're you goin'?" Dean asked.**

"**Uh…come with me," I said, grabbing his hand. I dragged him to the side of the gym. "Somethin' weird is happening."**

"**You mean the jacket and the itchy hands?" So Dean was on the same page I was. "Yeah, I was thinkin' the same thing."**

"**Yeah. I mean…the jacket seems defective. The gloves, and the itchy hands. And earlier Beth got the hair band and I could've sworn her hair changed afterwards."**

"**Somethin' weird is _definitely_ happening," Dean agreed with my earlier statement. "What d'you wanna do?"**

"**I don't know," I said. "We need to find out what's causing this first. We should call…Sam." I'd paused because another more important thing popped into my head. "The customers are gonna be here at two. We can't let them in here."**

"**Yeah, that'll be easy. Try explaining that one to Chris," Dean said tightly. This had been what he'd been talking about earlier. Getting close to people wasn't good in this profession. I hoped this wasn't because of me.**

"**Bite me," I said without any real acid in my tone.**

"**I'm just sayin'…you can never be honest with him, and you're a terrible liar."**

**I sighed. Dean was right. "Then I won't tell him anything. We'll call Sam and Bobby. They can bring books and stuff with them. They can make sure no one comes in."**

"**Yeah, okay."**

**Suddenly a scream filled the wide room. Dean and I looked in the direction of the noise. Beth - the red head from earlier - had apparently found out her hair was losing the attractive volume - it was becoming bristly and frizzy.**

"**Call Sam," I said. "I'm gonna check on her and make sure she doesn't leave."**

* * *

**When I reached Beth she was comically trying to flatten her hair out. The way she was acting, you'd think it was the end of the world just because she was having a bad hair day.**

"**Hey, calm down," I said, grabbing her hands so she'd stop tugging at the strands - she was pulling so hard she'd yanked a couple handfuls out. "That's nothing a little conditioner won't fix."**

"**My hair," she shrieked. "It looks like I've been electrocuted."**

"**No, honey, it's your best hair ever," Britney said comfortingly as she came to us. "Really." She was an even worse liar than me.**

"**Um…you take care of her," I said to Britney, turning to leave.**

**I went back to the clothing table where Chris was now tugging at the collar of the jacket. Maybe the jacket was shrinking.**

**I wondered if the people here could hold it together long enough for Dean and me to help them. There were a few people I didn't know, but so far only Chris, Chloe and Beth were the only ones to have any weirdness with the things they'd bought. Hopefully, it stayed that way.**

* * *

Alright...so I know the first half of the chapter is darker than the second half, but I just wanted to show the contrast between Aly being on her own, and how miserable she feels, and then the Aly who everyone else sees. The face she wants people to see, the show she's putting on.


	2. After Effects Pt Two

**The Aly that I know and love comes back in this chapter. YAY! LOL. Anyway, enjoy!!!**

**After Effects  
Part Two**

**Things were getting worse.**

**Chloe's hands were bleeding now, she'd scratched them so much. Beth's hair had become _flat_ and unattractive instead of frizzy and unattractive. Britney's face was broken out, which was a complete opposite from her usually clear skin. And Chris…well, Chris was having trouble breathing now. The jacket was shrinking, like I'd thought before. He _wasn't_ gaining weight just standing there.**

**And we couldn't take the jacket off. Dean had tried to cut the jacket off with scissors and a knife, but there was no getting through the material. It hardened under the metal trying to cut it.**

**Dean seemed to be untouched, but my belt - the one I'd loved instantly - seemed to be tightening much like Chris's jacket. It wouldn't unbuckle, and it had started cutting into my skin.**

**Sam and Bobby were here now pretending to be people from the Center for Disease Control. The gym was under quarantine now and no one was allowed in or out. Except for them, and maybe me and Dean.**

**Chris wasn't buying the disease angle, mostly because of his jacket. So I avoided his questions as best as I could.**

"**How bad off are they?" I asked Bobby.**

"**Do you really wanna know?"**

"**Yes," I replied. "I think I do."**

"**All these people - the ones who are infected - are going to die if we don't find a way to fix this."**

**Sam nodded in agreement. "Things like this usually escalate."**

**Dean glanced at my belt. "You mean she's gonna die?" he asked, his voice strained.**

"**No, I'm not. Because we're gonna fix this."**

**We'd been through a lot worse; we'd get through this. A _belt_ was not going to kill me.**

"**So, what's the deal? What story are you going with?" Dean asked.**

"**Contagious plague?" Sam suggested. "Anyway, the people infected…if we don't stop it, it'll keep spreading."**

"**What is it?" I asked. "I mean, do you know?"**

"**No. Best we can tell is…cursed objects. We've never seen a case where so many cursed objects were in one place, though."**

"**Really?" That was strange. "The demons from the gate…could they have done this?"**

"**No, they would just kill them or possess them. They wouldn't do this first," Bobby said. "What would be the point?"**

"**Well, then what's causing this?" I asked, frustrated. "Demon pox? Monster measles? Fiend flu? What would make these things…" I stopped, realizing something. "The only people that have anything wrong with them are the ones who picked something from the donations from that store."**

"**What store?" Bobby asked.**

"**Um…I don't know. I'll ask Chris."**

**When I reached Chris I could tell he was having an even harder time breathing. He and Chloe were on the floor leaning back against the pushed in bleachers.**

"**Hey, how you doin'?" I asked them both.**

"**I'm doing better than Chloe."**

"**Chloe?" I looked at the black haired girl. "How're you feeling?"**

"**My hands hurt."**

"**Can I?" I gestured at her hidden hands. "Let me see."**

**Her hands were so raw, I was afraid to touch them.**

"**Oh, wow. Chloe…"**

"**Alyson…what are Bobby and Sam doing here?" Chris asked. "Do they know what's going on?"**

"**Um…they think some of the things are contaminated. That's why people are reacting badly to things."**

"**Contaminated?" Chloe asked. "With what?"**

"**They're not sure. Disease Control has us quarantined, though, so they'll know something soon."**

"**Where are they? The Disease Control people?" Chris asked.**

"**Uh…outside, I guess."**

**Dean's words of me never being able to be honest with Chris came back to me and I sighed.**

"**Look, which store donated that jacket?"**

"**Uh…Trick's. Trick's Clothing and Accessories. It's a new store downtown. It's, like, ten minutes away."**

"**Okay…well, maybe…maybe we can contact them. Just stay here, okay?"**

**I began to get up and I made it a few steps away and then I realized Chris had gotten up and followed me. The only reason I knew that was because he grabbed me, and turned me to face him.**

"**Wait!"**

"**What?" I looked at him curiously, removing his hand from my arm.**

**He moved closer, so close our bodies were almost touching.**

"**You know…what's going on. Don't you?" He seemed so sure.**

"**I don't…know exactly. I know it's got something to do with the donations."**

"**You know more than that," he said. "I can tell when you're not being completely honest with me. You look away before you answer. Like you're stalling for time."**

"**Chris…you don't wanna know. Trust me."**

"**I do. I do trust you. If you're keeping something from me, then you have a good reason. But…I think I can handle whatever it is that's doing this. You can tell me."**

"**Is there a problem here?" Dean asked, coming to my side and taking in Chris's and my closeness.**

"**Chris wants to know what's going on," I sighed.**

**Dean nodded and huffed out a breath. "Your jacket is strangling you."**

**I stared at Dean. Had he really just said that out loud.**

"**Yeah, I can actually feel that. What I mean is…why? The way you're acting…I know you know. All four of you do."**

"**Well, we don't know really. We can guess right now, but that's it. Sam, Bobby and I are gonna check out the store. Where's it at?"**

"**Down town," I said. "What about me? You didn't include me in your field trip."**

"**Someone needs to stay here in case something happens. You're the strongest out of us, so we volunteered you."**

"**Oh." I nodded. "Okay. Yeah. Just…call when you find something out."**

"**Yeah. 'Kay."**

**Chris gave Dean directions to Trick's and then he, Sam and Bobby left. Things got worse a little after that. Britney and Beth locked themselves in one of the stalls in the girls' locker room. Chloe's hands were so raw you could see the muscle. I considered hitting her just to knock her out; at least she wouldn't be in pain. And Chris couldn't move without getting out of breath.**

"**You should just lay down," I said. "Don't move much."**

**After helping Chris get comfortable I tried to unzip the jacket again, but it tightened in response, so I stopped.**

**Fifteen minutes after the guys left, Dean called.**

"**Yeah?" I answered.**

"**Hey, there's nothing here."**

"**What?"**

"**The directions Chris gave us led us to a field. Either he lied or he didn't know what he was talking about."**

**I moved away from Chris so I could talk openly. "No, he wouldn't lie."**

**I heard Dean sigh on the other end. "Are you sure about that, Aly? You haven't known him for very long."**

**That was true. "Okay, well, why would he hurt himself in the process? I mean, that jacket is squeezing the life out of him. If we don't hurry, his ribs are gonna crack under the press -"**

**I broke off as a high-pitched screech came over the line. I held it away from my ear.**

"**Dean?"**

**The sound continued as I tried to hear his voice, and when I couldn't I shut the phone with a snap. That's when I felt this tremendous power. I'd felt it twice before maybe two months back, but I had never expected to feel it again.**

"**Hello, Alyson," a mocking-yet-not-evil voice said.**

**I knew the voice even though I'd only heard it a couple times before. The last time the very presence of this being knocked me to my knees. I guessed I was growing immune to the side effects of my being able to sense things.**

**Things around me were frozen. Chris had been laying down and now he wasn't breathing or moving at all. Chloe had been in the middle of scratching her hand again, and her hand was frozen in mid-air. The other people who had helped were frozen too.**

**When I looked at the being that had caused all this, I clenched my teeth together.**

**It was the Trickster. The one from the college. The one that was supposed to be dead; Dean had stabbed him in the heart with a wooden stake. So, yeah, he should be dead.**

"**You," I said lamely.**

"**Me." He grinned goofily at me, loving that I was surprised to see him.**

"**Thought you were dead."**

"**I'm not." He laughed.**

"**Obviously." I looked around the room, thinking about the different things that had happened. The mirror making Britney break out, the hair band making Beth's hair fall out, Chloe's gloves causing skin irritation, Chris's jacket strangling him, and my belt cutting into my skin.**

"**Should've known this was the work of one of your kind."**

"**Yeah. Proves how far off your game you are that you didn't catch it. I mean, the store name alone should've given me away." He rolled his eyes. "But, no, you've let your guard down. You've had your head so far up your ass you can't see straight."**

**It was funny, but the way the Trickster was talking to me was exactly the way Sam had talked to me the day before when he'd called me a brat. It was like I was a misbehaving child.**

"**How do you know what I'm like?" I asked.**

"**Oh, I've had my eye on you." His tone was light and amiable.**

"**Why?" I crossed my arms over my chest. "Why go through so much trouble just to talk to me?"**

"**Oh, right. There was a point to all this. Teaching lessons is what I do, isn't it?"**

"**The lesson being?"**

"**Lessons. Plural. The first lesson is…you're not normal. Quit pretending to be. I mean, that is what you like about Chris, right? That he's normal. Makes _you_ feel normal?"**

**I looked away from the Trickster. I wasn't feeling any outward animosity so I figured I wasn't in any danger.**

"**Well, get over it. You can't have normal. You sealed your fate when you became a hunter." He looked at Chris and Chloe. "Those two…they were caught in the crossfire. You put them in danger just by being near them."**

"**Stop it," I said quietly.**

"**Hard to hear?" he taunted in a non-evil way.**

**He stepped toward me, and I could tell just by the look he gave me that he was being serious.**

"**You are a fighter, Alyson. You face things. It's in your nature. And believe me…what's coming? The world is gonna need you."**

"**The world?"**

**The Trickster's face took on a haunted expression.**

"**It's gonna be bad. You have no idea how bad it's gonna get. We're talking…Apocalyptic bad. Four horsemen bad. War, Death, Famine, Disease…the whole nine yards."**

**He smiled bitterly.**

"**And then there's you. A unique champion for good in a troubled world. This is what you were _made_ for. And here you are _moping_ because your boyfriend's gonna die. And he _will_ die. You might as well get used to that fact now. You should be honing your skills, not hanging out at a rummage sale."**

**I clenched my fists together not because I was angry, but because he's said Dean was going to die. The way he'd put it sounded final, like he _knew_ for a fact that Dean wouldn't be saved. I didn't like it.**

"**You'd be better off if you just left him. But you won't." His voice was actually sympathetic and it was weird coming from him. "I know you won't."**

"**That's right," I said. "I won't."**

**The Trickster surprised me by grinning again. "No matter how miserable it makes you, he'll still comes first, huh?"**

"**He will." I didn't even have to think about it. "So…world ending, huh? Why would you come to me? Don't you root for the other side? I mean, when did you become the champion of the people?"**

**The look he gave me was almost comical.**

"**Are you kidding? I love people."**

"**You love playing with people," I corrected, pointing at the belt. I noticed it wasn't cutting into my skin anymore so I took it off.**

"**Please, the people I _play_ with get what they deserve."**

**I gestured to Chris and Chloe.**

"**This was get your attention." He pointed at me briefly. "I had to show you that you can't have a normal life."**

"**Hm." I wasn't amused. My arms hung loosely at my side and my hands hit my thighs nervously. "Okay…say believe you…"**

"**Oh, let's say more than that. World ending, I wouldn't joke about that. It's kind of an emergency situation. So…get over it and get on board. Unless you're too busy helping people with fundraisers."**

**The Trickster had stuck around. Everyone was still frozen, and I suddenly wondered if maybe he'd stuck me in a time warp thing and it just looked like everyone was frozen.**

**I'd wanted to tune the Trickster out but I couldn't. What he was saying was true and therefore very painful to hear.**

"**You think your life is over because Dean won't be here. But just because he's gonna be gone doesn't change what you are. A fighter."**

**I'd begun leaning against the bleachers - slumping, actually - and I imagined I looked very much like a petulant teenager.**

"**And this bratty mood of your is grating."**

**I sighed. "Are we done? I heard this all from Sam, I don't need to hear it from you."**

**I was surprised at how well I was getting along with this powerful being, but then again…I always _did_ see the good in people. Though, technically, this wasn't a person I was talking to.**

"**I mean, really, you're at a point where you think everything sucks, right? If you were to die tomorrow, you wouldn't care."**

"**I don't know what you're talkin' about," I seethed. He'd hit a nerve with that one. "I don't…wanna die. If I wanted to be dead, I would've kept that belt on. It would've split me in half eventually."**

"**Okay, well, maybe you don't wanna _die_," he said. "Maybe that's the wrong way to put it. But you don't wanna exist without him. Am I warmer?"**

**I sighed in defeat. "Maybe."**

"**Well, too bad. You're gonna. And ya know, with him gone, you'll see how strong you are. You'll see that you don't have to rely on him as much as you think you do."**

**I looked up at this man/creature and felt my lower lip tremble.**

"**Why are you telling me all this? Why do you believe in me so much?"**

**He shrugged. "Because I know you."**

"**You've met me once," I reminded him, smiling slightly.**

"**Yes, but I've had my eye on you, remember?"**

"**Right. And why was that exactly?"**

**He grinned his silly grin. "That's for me to know and you to find out." He was serious again. "Talk to Dean. You'll feel better."**

**He slapped his hands against his thighs much like a farmer would before getting to work. "Now, what are we gonna do about your friends? I don't usually do amnesia tricks, but in this case…"**

"**Yeah. Yes."**

"**Okay…I'll make them forget that any of the supernatural stuff happened. Chris can have his jacket…the others can have their stuff. What you do next is up to you."**

**I nodded, and I had this overwhelming desire to thank him for some reason.**

**So I did.**

**Turns out, when the Trickster pulled his amnesia trick it was more a going-back-in-time trick. Back to when Chris brought the first two boxes of stuff from Trick's. He had yet to put on his jacket.**

**I hesitantly touched the box and was relieved when it didn't shock me.**

**When Chris went to get the other boxes, I turned to Dean.**

"**Hey, let's leave," I suggested. "I mean, I'll think of somethin' to say to Chris, but we should leave."**

"**Why?" Dean seemed confused. "You're the one who wanted to come."**

"**Well, I changed my mind," I looked at him intensely. "Something weird happened, and…I need to talk to you."**

"**Like, _really_ talk to me?" Dean was hopeful.**

"**Yeah. When we get back to Bobby's."**

"**Sure," he agreed. "I'll wait for you in the car?"**

"**Yeah, that's fine. I'll be there in a minute."**

"**Okay." He kissed my cheek, softly brushing his lips against my skin. "Love you."**

**I let a small sigh escape. "I love you."**

**Chris came back as Dean walked away and I turned to him. The jacket was back on.**

"**Hey, where'd Dean go?" he asked, putting the boxes on the table.**

"**Uh, Chris…something came up and I have to go. I'm sorry."**

**Chris shook his head. "Don't worry about it." But I could see the disappointment in his eyes.**

"**I'm _really_ sorry. And, uh, I don't know when I'll see you again. I'm probably not gonna be around much."**

"**So, what? This is good-bye?"**

"**It doesn't have to be," I said quickly, although I knew I should've just said 'yes'. "But I'm not gonna be around a lot. Dean and Sam and I move around. Our job takes us everywhere. So…"**

**Chris smiled sadly. "I guess I understand that."**

"**Yeah?"**

"**Yeah. I don't know exactly what you guys do, but it's important to you."**

"**It is," I agreed. I made a mental note to be careful of what I said to him in the future. Chris was perceptive.**

**Dean met me right outside the gym with the car and I got in. Immediately, Dean wanted to know what was going on, and so I told him.**

**I told him everything starting from the minute I'd shocked myself on the cardboard box to where I'd touched the box the second time without any problem.**

"**So, the Trickster, huh? The same one?"**

"**Uh-huh. The one and only."**

"**Thought he was dead."**

"**So did I. But apparently not."**

"**Why did he do all this? Why go to all the trouble? I mean, it couldn't have been to get you back on track. No matter what he said."**

"**Well, I dunno. But if things are gonna get as bad as he says then he _may_ actually care about the world. Humans." Dean didn't buy it. "I mean, he could've killed me any time today. He didn't."**

**Back at Bobby's we went to the bedroom immediately. It was our private place here, and we were going to need privacy for this.**

**But when it came down to it…neither of us really knew what to say.**

"**One of us needs to start here…or we're never gonna have this conversation," I said lightly, but the weight of the words were heavy.**

"**You're comfortable around Chris," Dean said.**

**It surprised me, the way he'd just said it would loud like that. It seemed to make him sad. I didn't understand why he'd even said it, let alone the mood that went along with it.**

"**Dean, what does Chris have to do with anything?"**

"**Nothing, I just…I watched how you fit in so easily with him and his friends. He's…normal."**

"**Yeah…" I said hesitantly, not knowing where he was going with this.**

"**I'm not. You can't have that when you're with me. And seeing you there, trying to be like them…" He sighed. "Aly…I've tried to be the right man for you…and seeing you today…it made me think that maybe I'm _not_."**

"**Dean…"**

"**You deserve better, Aly. Someone who will put you first. Someone who'll be there when…when I won't be."**

**My breathing went from normal to short and shallow in about two seconds flat. Was he breaking up with me?**

"**No…you don't get to decide that. I _love _you, Dean. And I don't want normal without you. I don't want anything without you, but you took that choice away from me. You're not taking this one. I'm gonna be here as long as you're alive. I'm not gonna let you push me away. You know I don't give up that easily."**

"**I'm trying to make this easier for you," Dean said. "I thought if you just _left_…"**

"**I'm not leaving you. I promised you I wouldn't leave. I plan on keeping my word on that."**

"**But you're gonna be miserable."**

"**I can handle it," I said sadly. "Besides, if we don't find a way to save you…Sam's gonna need me when you're gone."**

"**I don't expect you to stay with him…if…I mean -"**

"**I know. And you know that I wouldn't stay with him if I didn't want to." I looked down at the carpet, finding it easier to look at then at Dean. "I love you," I repeated. "And even though _I'm_ the one who pushed _you_ away, I missed you. So much…"**

"**Aly…" His voice was much like it had been the night I'd walked away from him and went to sleep in my own bed; broken and said and sorry.**

"**Let me finish," I said pleadingly. "I _know_ why you did what you did. I even understand it, a little. But when I realized what you did…Dean, I've _never_ been that angry, or hurt. I never thought - never dreamed - you'd be the one to pull that response from me."**

**I looked up at him now. Remorse was written all over his face.**

"**And I don't know what I'm gonna do if we…can't save you. But what I _do_ know is that I love you and that when - _if_ - it happens…I'm gonna miss you. Every second of every day. A part of me will be missing." I took a step toward him "And I'm not ready to lose that part yet. I'll never be ready…and I'm not gonna leave just because things aren't going my way."**

**I had wanted to do this without crying. I'd wanted to do this calmly, but I could help it.**

**Sometime in the last few minutes I'd begun hiccupping back sobs. I was surprised Dean had been able to understand half of what I'd said.**

**Dean came closer and pulled me against his chest. "Come 'ere."**

**It felt good being in his arms again. It felt like coming home. Safe, secure, and _right_.**

**I grabbed onto his shirt hard enough to hurt my fingers and let the first sob out. He led me to the bed where I curled up on his lap.**

"**I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry for what I've done to you. I'm sorry I can't take it back."**

"**No. You're not. If you could go back, you'd do the same thing." My tone wasn't angry, but it was firm.**

**He didn't deny it. I didn't want him to.**

**After I'd gotten my crying out I told Dean I needed to talk to Sam. I needed to apologize for how I'd treated him the day before. Dean was reluctant to let me leave, and his arms didn't seem to want to let me go.**

"**I'll come back," I said. "I won't shut you out anymore. But I have to do this."**

"**Yeah, okay." I got off the bed. "I would say take your time, but I kinda want you to hurry back."**

"**I'll come back when I'm done."**

**Dean nodded, not moving from his spot on the bed.**

**I left the room and went to Sam's. He'd been spending most of his time in his room. I knew when I knocked and went in that I'd find him on the bed, books surrounding him, so it didn't surprise me when that's exactly what I saw.**

"**Hey," I said softly.**

"**Hey," he replied, smiling slightly. He took in my disheveled appearance and frowned. "You okay?"**

**I shrugged half-heartedly. "Not really. I, um, wanted to apologize. I shouldn't have treated you the way I did."**

**Sam's eyes lit up slightly. "So…Aly's back? The real one?"**

**I let out a short laugh. "Yeah, I guess so."**

**I went to the bed, clearing a spot for me to sit. "I also wanted to say…I'll help you try and find a way to save Dean. I'm not real optimistic - I can't let myself be - but I still wanna try." I bit my lip, thinking of what to say next. "And, uh, I don't blame you for what Dean did, and you shouldn't blame yourself."**

**Sam nodded, but he looked at the bed, so I knew he wasn't really taking my last statement in.**

"**How could he do it? Knowing how he felt when Dad did it for him."**

"**He didn't know what else to do, and he doesn't know how to live without you."**

"**He shouldn't have done it," Sam said, shaking his head. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad I'm alive, but he shouldn't have done it."**

**I didn't feel particularly inclined to disagree with that, so I didn't say anything else. **


	3. The Magnificent Seven Pt One

**Okay, so this is my shortest chapter yet, I think, but don't worry, they all won't be this short. Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks to all the people who keep reading and who stick with me no matter what.**

**The Magnificent Seven  
Part One**

**After leaving Sam's room, I was supposed to go straight back to Dean's room, but I realized that I hadn't read the letter Jack had left me. I still had it in my jeans pocket. I'd kept it with me since I found it the day before.**

**I sighed and leaned against the wall, taking out the letter. When I opened it, what I read surprised me.**

**_Alyson,_**

_**If you found this, it means I'm not going to be able to tell you any of this face-to-face, so I hope what I've written doesn't hurt you anymore than I already have. And I know I have hurt you, more than I ever wanted to.**_

_**When I left, it was to protect you. When I died and was brought back, I wanted to get to know you again. I wanted to know how you turned out without me.**_

_**When I got to know you, I found there was no place for me in your life. I tried to force my way in, which, looking back, was the wrong approach with you. I realize that now.**_

_**I just wanted you to know that, if I had lived through this, I would've stayed out of your way. You didn't need me hurting you anymore. I would've walked away, if that's what you wanted.**_

_**But if you're reading this then that point is moot now, anyway.**_

_**After talking to you, I realized going to Wyoming wasn't what I needed to do. I needed to get to you. You'd need me whether or not you got there in time to save Sam or not. I'd need to explain my part more clearly than I have in the past.**_

_**If Sam died, then Dean sold his soul. This is the catalyst for all the oncoming problems you three will face. Manu didn't tell me much. He told me only what he wanted me to know and only when he wanted me to know it, but something about Dean causes things to go to hell. Or more precisely, Hell will come to you.**_

_**Now that you know what I know, I need you to know I never meant to hurt you, and I wish I could make it up to you, but I can't.**_

_**Love,**_

_**Jack**_

**A myriad of emotions went through me as I read Jack's last words to me.**

**Guilt because I couldn't find it in myself to feel grief for the stranger that was my dad. Wonder if he really meant what he'd written. Guilt _again_ for making him think there wasn't a place for him in my life, even though, really, I didn't think there was.**

**I felt rage more clearly than anything else, though, because Jack had _known_ what Dean would do if Sam had died and he hadn't told me. All Jack had said was not to leave Dean alone. How was I to know the reason _why_ he'd said that.**

**If I had known, I would've…done anything to keep it from happening, but…Jack hadn't told me. He'd kept me in the dark again.**

**It surprised me when the teardrops hit the page in front of me. I'd been doing that a lot lately. Crying without realizing I was doing it. It was annoying, really, having random emotions like that.**

**I ripped the letter to pieces, knowing I never wanted to read it again. I knew all I needed to know. I threw the pieces in the trashcan in the bathroom on the way back to Dean's room. I decided to not tell Dean about the letter. He had enough to worry about without Jack's vague warning that Dean would cause the Apocalypse.**

**When I got back to the room, I saw Dean was still sitting on the bed, and from his expression, I could tell he was thinking. That was almost never good.**

"**What?"**

"**Nothing. I was just thinking about the war the Trickster said was coming. I was just wondering what the demons are waiting for."**

"**Oh." I sighed, looking away. "I don't know. I don't know what they're doing. And I really don't care."**

**My voice sounded strange even to me. It was like I was aware of speaking, but it sounded like someone else was saying the words. Because Alyson Daniels always cared, Alyson Daniels was always wanting to help people, Alyson Daniels thought humans suffered more than they should. Alyson Daniels never gave up. Alyson Daniels was strong.**

**But the new me didn't care, didn't really feel like helping, didn't care if anyone else suffered because _I_ was suffering. The new me felt like giving up. The new me was weak. The new me wanted to forget everything that made me feel this way.**

"**Dean, can we talk about something else. Something that's not going to make me cry."**

**He stood up and I was close enough for him to grab me and pull me closer and wrap his arms around me. His physical presence was almost overpowering, and the masculine scent of him was almost overwhelming.**

**His eyes never left mine as he lowered his head and kissed me. His lips were gentle yet firm. Part of me was ashamed that I needed him to be the strong one now. _I_ should be the one comforting _him_, not the other way around. I needed him to help me relax and feel safe, though.**

**His hands came to my cheeks as the kiss deepened. The familiar slow burn began in my stomach and I pushed my hands beneath his shirt against his skin.**

**A low groan escaped his throat and his mouth traveled down my neck. He was doing exactly what I wanted. Taking away the pain and the anguish of the last few days. He was making me think of only _now_.**

**I arched my head back, giving him better access to my throat, and he nibbled on my sensitive skin. Then he flicked his tongue over it.**

"**Mm."**

**We moved backward toward the bed where Dean sat down and I immediately straddled his legs. The bulge in his jeans was plain and I swallowed back a moan just thinking of it.**

**I wrapped my arms around his neck. "I want you to make me forget."**

**I shifted closer and came into contact with his groin and my heart stuttered.**

**I lifted his shirt over his head and I just stared at his chest. I felt the need to memorize everything about him. It was stupid. I knew no matter how I remembered him, it would never do him justice when he wasn't here.**

**My shirt was next to go and he immediately removed my bra with it. Then it seemed he was taking me in as much as I was him.**

**Together, we got rid of the rest of our clothing, and then I was on my back and Dean was straddling my waist, one hand holding mine above my head. His grip was gentle enough that I could get free if I wanted.**

"**I need to be inside you," he said huskily, and my hips jerked upward at his words. "But I need…"**

**He reached for something on the floor and I realized they were his pants. He came back with a foil packet. A condom.**

"**Dean, what're you -"**

"**Protecting you."**

"**I'm on the pill," I reminded him.**

"**I know. Things are different now. Trust me, you don't want surprises."**

**I got it. He wasn't going to be here much longer and he didn't want me to get pregnant when he wouldn't be able to help. He didn't want to have a child to leave behind, so he wasn't taking any chances.**

**My throat tightened and my vision blurred and I really needed him to kiss me before I started crying again.**

**Almost like he _knew_ what I needed, he kissed me. It was a messy kiss, but in a hot way.**

**He nudged my legs apart and his fingers slipped inside me. I moaned, but I wanted something more. He understood and withdrew. He filled me with what I really wanted. I thought it felt weird with the condom, but maybe it was all in my head.**

**Our rhythms matched quickly and the synchronization was amazing, as always. We fit so well together. I quickly came to the conclusion that nothing else in the world would ever feel this good again.**

**It sounded crazy, but I was sure that even though I was young, I had found my soul mate in Dean and after he was gone…no one else would be able to compare. No one else would make me happy.**

**Dean slid his hand down my body and between my moist folds, circling my clit while thrusting. My thighs clenched, him cushioned between them.**

"**Dean…"**

**I pushed him with my body and we flipped so he was on his back and I straddled him. I groaned as I took him deeper into my body. My body rocked against his and I bit my lip to keep from crying out. I leaned forward, keeping up my movements, and kissed him.**

**He let out a soft moan every time my body pushed down on his and I knew he was close. We both were.**

**And then my world pretty much imploded, and I felt like my reality shifted. It took a while to come back down to earth.**

**I didn't like the fact that I couldn't feel Dean fill me with his essence, but I understood where he was coming from, so I'd get used to it. I could tell he'd had his release, though, because of the sounds he was making and the way his body stiffened beneath mine.**

**I slumped against him, feeling more exhausted than I'd ever felt, and just let my mind wander pleasantly.**

**After the peacefulness passed I moved off of him and laid on my back. Dean stood up and I knew he was getting rid of the condom now. I was so tired I actually slipped into unconsciousness before he slipped beneath the covers.**

**Later that night, I woke up and realized that Dean wasn't beside me. A sharp pain hit my chest when I realized I'd have to get used to it. If we didn't find a way to save him, I'd have to wake up without him all the time. I didn't _want_ to do that.**

**I vaguely wondered what Sam was doing. He was probably still buried in his books, The solution was _not_ going to be in any book, that I could almost guarantee.**

**I reached out with my inner-self and searched for Dean, who I realized was downstairs. I got up and searched for my clothes. Everybody needs clothes.**

**Once fully dressed and fairly presentable, I made my way downstairs. Sam, Dean, and Bobby were talking about something. I wasn't exactly sure what, but Bobby had found something. Something about a crop failure and a cicada swarm outside of Lincoln, Nebraska. Bobby was thinking it was demonic omens. Which, granted, it could've been, but it didn't have to be. It was our only lead, though.**

"**Any freaky deaths?" Dean asked as I sat beside him at the kitchen table.**

"**Not that I can find," Bobby said.**

"**It's weird," Dean said. "I mean, the night the Devil's Gate opened, all these weirdo storm clouds were sighted over how many cities?"**

"**Seventeen," Sam answered.**

"**Seventeen," Dean repeated.**

"**What?" I asked, shocked. "Where was I? Why didn't I know about this?"**

"**You weren't talking to me at the time," Dean said. "And you were probably with Chris."**

**Oh, my fault.**

"**Anyway, you'd think it would be _Apocalypse Now_, but the only thing that has come our way is the Trickster."**

**I assumed Dean had told Sam and Bobby about that because neither looked surprised.**

"**What are the demons waiting for?" The same thing Dean had said earlier. "It's driving me crazy. I tell ya, if it's gonna be a war, I wish it would just start already."**

"**I don't know, man. Careful what you wish for."**

**I was in strong agreement with Sam on this one. A war didn't sound very fun right now. Especially not a demonic one.**

**The four of us made it to wherever we were going - I couldn't even remember where - by morning. I rode with Sam and Dean while Bobby led the way in his car.**

**We ended up at this place, a nice little house in the country. This buzzing noise could be heard over the roar of the Impala, and I assumed it was bugs. That was why we were here, right? A bug problem?**

**Sheets were hanging out in the front yard, blowing in the wind…everything seemed normal except for the annoying sound the bugs were making.**

**When we parked, we met Bobby up at the porch.**

"**So, Bobby," Sam started. "What do you think? We got a biblical plague here, or what?"**

"**Let's find out," Bobby answered. "Looks like the swarm is ground zero."**

**Dean knocked, but didn't get an answer. Naturally, he picked the lock. I regretted it the instant he opened the door. A _horrible_ smell hit me right in the face. What the hell was that? Rotting flesh?**

**I covered my face with my shirt, Bobby covered his mouth with his hand, Dean gagged, and Sam barely grimaced.**

"**That _so_ can't be a good sign," Dean muttered.**

"**Ya think?" I quipped. "What is that?"**

**I grabbed the gun out of my jeans and held it at the ready in case something decided to jump out at me.**

**We split up, me and Dean going one way, Sam and Bobby going the other. Dean and I searched a bathroom and a bedroom and found nothing. The smell was getting worse now and I felt sick to my stomach. It stunk so bad I was sure it was toxic and we needed biohazard suits to be here.**

**I heard a muffled scream and I glanced at Dean, who nodded. He went first, toward a door that was shut at the end of the hall.**

"**Stay behind me," he whispered.**

**When he opened the door I saw the screaming came from the TV. And my goodness, did it stink in here. The smell actually took my breath away.**

"**Um, guys?" I called out, and I instantly heard footsteps coming our way.**

**It took me a minute to take in everything. This room was obviously a living room. On the couch were three rotting corpses. A mom, a dad, and a son, by the looks of it. They were grayish, they're eyes were wide open. They looked like they'd starved to death.**

"**What the hell?" Sam said.**

"**Check for sulfur," Dean commanded, but then glanced at the window.**

"**What?" I asked softly.**

"**I thought I saw something."**

**He moved back through the house, gun in hand, and went to the front door.**

"**Stay here," he said to us, and then he went outside.**

**Sam, Bobby, and I glanced at each other.**

"**Screw that," I said. "I'm going around the back."**

**As soon as I said that I heard signs of a struggle and a loud thump. Sam made it to the door first, then Bobby, then me. Dean was on the porch flat on his back. There were two black people - a man and a woman - and the man had a rifle trained on Dean.**

"**Issac? Tamara?" Bobby said, staring at them.**

"**Bobby?" Tamara seemed cheerful, and she had a British accent. "What the hell are you doin' here?"**

"**I could ask the same."**

**Bobby and the man, Issac, shook hands. I went to Dean and helped him up. He had a cut above his left eye.**

"**I swear, you and Sam get hit in the head more than anyone else I've known. One day you're gonna wake up with brain damage."**

**I cleaned the blood off with the sleeve of my shirt and he winced.**

"**Sorry. You okay?"**

"**I think I'm concussion-free. Don't worry."**

**I helped him up and then turned to Bobby, Sam, and…the other two. They were inviting us to stay with them at a place nearby. Oh, joy. We accepted and called the police to come here. It was an anonymous tip.**

**Their place turned out be two stories plus an attic. They had a bunch of hunting stuff here; it rivaled Bobby's collection even.**

**Dean called the police station again, using a fake badge number, as soon as we got there. I wanted to heal him, but I couldn't, not with our new best friends here.**

"**Honey, where's the palo santo?" Issac asked, and I noticed he wasn't British.**

"**Well, where did you leave it?"**

"**I don't know, dear, that's why I'm asking."**

"**Palo santo?" Sam asked, looking at some sort of snake-skin…thing.**

"**It's holy wood from Peru," Tamara explained. "It's toxic to demons like holy water. It keeps the bastards nailed down while you're exorcising them."**

**Tamara found this wooden stake looking thing almost immediately and handed it to Issac.**

"**Thank you, dear."**

"**You'd lose your head if it wasn't for me," she teased.**

"**So…when you nail down the person you're exorcising, doesn't that sort of defeat the purpose? They won't survive anyway," I said. "We've never had to nail a person down to get rid of a demon."**

**Things grew slightly tense until Sam defused the situation. "So, how long have you two been married?"**

"**Eight years, this past June," Tamara answered.**

**Issac kissed Tamara's forehead. "A family that slays together…"**

"**Right," Sam said. "I'm with ya there. So, how'd you get started?" Tamara had been smiling, but it faded at the question. "Oh, ya know…I'm sorry. It's none of my business." Sam finished awkwardly.**

"**No, no, it's all right."**

**Dean came to us, off the phone now. "Unofficial coroner's report came in and get this: that whole family, cause of death? Dehydration and starvation. There was no signs of restraint, no violence, no struggle. They just sat down and never got up."**

"**But there was a fully-stocked kitchen just yards away," Bobby said.**

"**Right," Sam agreed. "What is this, a demon attack?"**

"**Oh, yeah, attack of the Sloth-demon," I quipped, but smiled slightly to let Sam know I was joking. Bobby looked thoughtfully at me, though, like he was wondering at my words.**

"**Well, what now? What should we do?" Dean asked.**

"**Uh, _we're_ not gonna do anything," Issac said. "You guys seem nice enough, but this ain't _Schooby-Doo_. And we don't play well with others. And, no offense, but we're not teaming with the damn fools who let the Devil's Gate get open in the first place."**

**How did _he_ know about that?**

"**Issac, like you're never made a mistake," Tamara reprimanded.**

"**Oh, yeah. Locked my keys in the car. Turned my laundry pink. Never brought on the end of the world, though. I mean, there are a couple hundred demons out there now. We don't know where they are, when they'll strike. There ain't enough hunters in the world to handle something like this. You brought war down on us. On _all_ of us."**

**I shook my head. "You idiot man, you have no idea what you're talking about."**

"**Excuse me?"**

"**You know what? We _were_ there. And you know another thing? You weren't." I stepped forward, angry. "We could've died that night. We almost did. You weren't there to help so you should just keep your opinions to yourself. If you can't deal, don't lay it off on us."**

"**Aly." Dean's hand landed on my shoulder. "Stop." His voice was soft and soothing. It deflated my anger like nothing else could.**

**Tamara led Issac away and I sighed, turning to look at Dean semi-sheepishly. I was embarrassed by my outburst. I usually didn't let things like that get to me, but I had so much to deal with already I didn't need anything else.**

**I suddenly tensed again. A familiar chill went through me. A demon was nearby, or something equally evil anyway.**

"**Hey, are the entrances to this place salted?" I asked loudly. "Something's here."**

**And then, just as suddenly, it was gone.**

"**Or not. Never mind."**

**That was weird. We decided to check outside. It was nighttime, now, of course, but we had flashlights. Everything was normal. Trees, grass, shrubs. Nothing out of the ordinary was here. Not anymore, anyway.**

"**Can we…go somewhere else?" I asked. "I don't like them."**

"**You don't like anybody anymore," Dean said, and I glared at him.**

**I sighed. "I don't feel like staying in a house with people who blame us for something we had no control over. And if we stay, we'll just end up arguing."**

"**We can go to a hotel," Sam said. "Don't worry about it."**

**Later that night, when Dean was asleep, I was wide awake. I thought about how Dean had said that I didn't like anybody anymore.**

**I'd sounded bitter earlier, but I _was_ bitter. I hated going around thinking about Dean dying. It was almost as bad as him just being gone already. At least then it would have been a clean break. I would grieve, and Sam and Bobby would grieve with me. We'd feel sorry for each other, and we'd help each other heal. But this…this watching Dean walk around, healthy yet knowing his life was slipping away a little more each day…it was almost unbearable.**

**I'd told him I wouldn't shut him out anymore, and I wasn't going to. For his sake, I wouldn't push him away. It would _kill _me when he was really gone, but I couldn't hurt him now. Not when I knew what was waiting for him. Not when I knew he had so little time left.**

Okay, I don't exactly love this chapter, but then again I do. It's like a 50-50 thing. I like it because it show Aly noticing some of the things she's going to miss about being with Dean, but then I DON'T like it because I don't like sad things, period. Guess I'll have to get used to the sad stuff, huh? The whole season is about the deal and stuff. But I like Dean and Aly's relationship too much to NOT write it, ya know? Anyway, let me know what you think.


	4. The Manificent Seven Pt Two

**The Magnificent Seven  
Part Two**

**The next morning, after a fitful sleep, I woke up with Dean's arms wrapped possessively around me. It was just another thing I'd have to get used to not having. I was stupid for staying. I knew that. Glutton for punishment, that's what I was.**

"**I hate that I'm hurting you," Dean said softly. "If you were smart, you'd probably leave."**

**It was as if he knew what I'd been thinking, which, due to our connection, he probably did. He could tell what I was feeling when our skin touched. He was a better reader than I was. I never knew what he was feeling unless he wanted me to. Unless I was looking into his eyes, of course. His eyes hid nothing.**

"**I'm not leaving you," I said firmly. "I don't care how stupid that makes me." I sighed, sitting up. "What're we going to do about this case?"**

"**You mean do I know what caused it?" Dean shook his head. "Never seen anything like it. Never _heard_ of anything like it."**

"**Great. That's comforting." Heavy on the sarcasm there. "It's not surprising, though. I mean, hundreds of demons are out there. We're probably gonna see a lot of stuff that's new. Or very, very old, depending on how you look at it."**

**Things were silent until Dean's phone vibrated on the night stand.**

"**Yeah?" he answered. "The news? Why?"**

**I heard a low reply and knew it was Sam. Sam had gotten his own room last night because he'd still been reading and researching, and he knew Dean wouldn't let him if he'd stayed with us.**

"**Okay, okay, don't bite my head off."**

**Dean got up and turned the TV on, switching it to some local news channel. Some story was on about a woman killing another woman over a pair of heels. It happened right outside a clothing store.**

"**You think it's our kind of thing?" Dean asked me.**

**I shrugged. "I dunno. Normal people don't kill for shoes, do they?"**

"**I guess not. You wanna check it out?"**

"**Maybe we _should_."**

**Sam had called from the store. He'd been up early - if he'd gotten any sleep at all, anyway - and he and Bobby checked out the scene before calling us in.**

**When Dean and I got there Dean went in, and I stayed outside to look for Sam. It didn't take long since he was freakishly tall. He was standing at the back of a small group of people, taking everything in. I saw Bobby, too, standing a couple yards away, in a suit and tie, with his hair slicked back talking to a blond woman who seemed a little stunned.**

**I went to Sam and pulled him away from the group. I noticed he had bags beneath his eyes.**

"**Sam, did you sleep at all? You look like crap."**

"**Thanks," he quipped.**

"**No, seriously. You losing sleep is not gonna save Dean." I sighed, wondering what exactly _would_ save Dean. "Now, what happened?"**

"**Well, apparently, that woman really wanted the shoes."**

**I glanced at the woman Bobby was talking to. "Well, she's not possessed. Or not now, anyway."**

"**Yeah. I know." He looked around. "Where's Dean?"**

"**Inside. We could go in, too, if you're done out here."**

**Sam nodded and we went inside the store, which wasn't open, but the workers were still there. The only reason we got in was because we had FBI badges.**

**My eyes zeroed in on Dean, who was chatting with a girl with wavy blond hair. Actually, I think he was flirting because he had his hand on her shoulder and he was staring into her eyes…and oh, hell no.**

**Sam cleared his throat as we drew nearer. "Dean, what're you doing?"**

"**I'm comforting the bereaved." He had a _duh_ tone to his voice, and he smiled at the girl, but removed his hand from her shoulder. She walked away smiling. He turned his head back toward us. "What're _you_ doing?"**

"**Our _job_," I seethed. "Someone died, ya know?" I looked over to where the woman had gone. "Please tell me you were flirting for a reason."**

**Okay, maybe I was overreacting just a bit. I usually wasn't a jealous girlfriend, but Dean usually didn't flirt with anyone other than me. He usually didn't give me a reason to _be_ jealous.**

**Just then Bobby walked in in a suit and tie, which I had noticed earlier, but Dean hadn't seen him yet and was surprised.**

"**Whoa. Lookin' spiffy, Bobby. What were you, a G-man?"**

"**Attorney for the D.A.'s office. I just spoke to the suspect."**

"**And?" I asked curiously. "Demon?"**

"**I don't think so. There was none of the usual signs. No blackouts, no loss of control, totally lucid. She just really wanted those shoes. I spilled a glass of holy water on her just to be sure. Nothin'."**

"**Well, maybe she's just some random wackjob," Dean suggested.**

**The woman from earlier walked by and Dean followed her with his eyes. What was wrong with him? He was acting like I wasn't even here. No, he was acting like he did before we got together.**

"**If it'd been an isolated incident, maybe," Bobby said. "But first the family, now this? I believe in a lot of things. Coincidence ain't one of 'em."**

**I nodded. "Yeah, I'm sensing a pattern. Sloth, envy, lust." I glared at Dean for the last one. Oh, and jealousy for myself. I couldn't leave that off.**

"**Anyway," Sam began, "there was no sulfur. I checked before you guys got here." He gestured at me and Dean.**

"**Maybe not, but there's a security camera," Dean said, looking behind himself. He looked at Bobby. "Think you can work your attorney magic and get us access to the tapes?"**

**Bobby straightened out his suit jacket. "I'll see what I can do."**

**The tapes held one thing of interest. It showed a guy - average looking - touching the suspect's shoulder, nodding to a brunette - the victim. The brunette paid for a green pair of heels and the blond - the suspect - followed her out of the store, where I knew the brunette had then been killed. Over shoes. People were idiots.**

**Although, if I'd interpreted the tape correctly, the blond had been persuaded to do it.**

**After getting a good look at the guy, we decided to split up. Sam and I were going to go through missing persons ads at the library, try and find out who our John Doe was. Dean and Bobby were going to ask around and see if anybody knew him, or if they could possibly run into him.**

**As soon as Sam and I started walking - the library was close by and it was nice out - I felt the familiar eerie chill. The same one from the night before.**

**I stopped, grabbing Sam's arm in the process. "Wait." I turned around, but there were too many people around for me to discern which one was a demon.**

"**What?"**

"**I wanna take a car. Dean's, Bobby's, it doesn't matter which."**

"**You felt something, didn't you?"**

"**Yeah." The feeling faded. "Now it's gone."**

"**Something's stalking you, do you think?"**

**I shrugged. "Or you."**

**At the library, it took about two hours to find the guy. His name was Walter Rosen, he was from Oak Park, just west of Chicago, and he'd gone missing about a week ago. The night the Devil's Gate opened.**

"**Great. He's probably possessed."**

"**Probably," Sam agreed. "So, what, he just walks up to someone, touches 'em, and they just go stark-ravin'-psycho or somethin'?"**

**I laughed. I couldn't help it. Sam looked at me like I'd gone crazy, but I didn't care.**

"**What's so funny?"**

**I shook my head. "Do you know how sad it is that this is a normal conversation for us? Demons and possessions and corpses. Is that how it's going to be for the rest of my life?"**

**Sam looked at me sympathetically. I knew he knew where I was coming from. He'd tried to get away from this life by going to college, but he'd only been sucked right back in.**

**He didn't say anything about what I'd said, but he did speak. "I'm sorry about how Dean was acting. I don't know what he was doing."**

"**It's not your fault." I shook my head again. "Anyway, have you found anything about…ya know?"**

**Sam's face fell. "No. Everything I've read sounds ridiculous. Maybe you were right. The only way to get rid of a deal is to make a new one."**

**I didn't like his tone. "If you're thinking what I think you're thinking then stop thinking it."**

**Sam smiled at my phrasing. "Is that even a sentence?"**

"**Yes. And I mean it. It wouldn't do you any good, anyway. Dean would just reverse it again."**

"**Yeah, I know," Sam said quietly.**

"**Good." My stomach growled and I groaned. I couldn't remember the last time I'd eaten. "I need food. After we're done here, we should go eat."**

**Sam smiled again. "Yeah, I wouldn't want you to starve under my watch."**

**After finding out all we could about Walter Rosen we went to some diner and I got chicken fingers and a salad; Sam got his usual healthy diet salad.**

"**Hey, if I ask you somethin' do you promise not to get mad?"**

**I stopped with a piece of chicken halfway to my mouth. "Okay."**

"**Why are you staying?" Sam asked curiously. "I mean, don't get me wrong…I don't want you to go anywhere, but…aren't you just making this harder for yourself?"**

**I took a bite of chicken, thinking of my answer, and swallowed.**

"**I'm staying for the same reason you are." I took another bite, though I had suddenly lost my appetite. "I love him, Sam. Unconditionally. And I don't want his last memory of me to be my back walking out the door. He _won't_ remember me for leaving." He'd remember me for staying, for being the only one in his life who never abandoned him no matter how bad things got.**

**Bobby called about an hour later and told us to meet him and Dean back at Tamara and Isaac's place. I wondered why and he called me an idjit and told me to just get there.**

**I heard screaming in the background. Tamara sounded like she was in agony. What was happening to her? Had she been hurt?**

"**Bobby, what's goin' on?"**

"**Isaac is gone. Demons got him."**

"**What? Where?"**

"**We'll explain when you get here, so get here fast."**

"**Fine, fine. Keep your pants on." I flipped the phone shut and Sam and I went on our way.**

**At Tamara's house, I immediately felt the presence of a demon. It was inside, I was sure.**

"**And I say we're going back!" I heard Tamara's scream through the door and I looked at Sam before we walked in.**

**I followed the feeling and sound of Tamara's shouting of "I left my husband bloody on the floor," to the back room where Walter was sitting under a protective circle. He was tied to a chair and trapped.**

"**You can't go back," Bobby said calmly, obviously trying to be the voice of reason.**

"**You can stay here, but I'm heading back to that bar!" Tamara screamed.**

"**What bar?" I asked, announcing our presence.**

"**The bar we found this guy in," Dean said, pointing at Walter.**

"**Oh…" We explained who he was and where he was from.**

"**Ooh, good thing you did your homework," the Walter-demon said. He sounded snarky.**

"**Hey, no one's talkin' to you," Dean said.**

"**No, but you're talking about my meat suit."**

**Tamara shoved past me and I grabbed her wrist. "Where're you going?"**

"**To get Isaac."**

**I bit my lip, reminding myself to be patient. "Tamara…I don't know what happened exactly, but Bobby said he's gone. There's no point in going back. I'm sorry."**

**She wrenched her arm free. "I _have _to go."**

"**I'll go with her," Dean volunteered.**

"**It's suicide, Dean!" Bobby said, not so calm this time.**

"**So what? I'm dead already."**

**I pretty much glared at the back of his head at that. Did he _want_ me to hit him? I mean, first the girl, now this?**

"**How are you gonna kill 'em?" Sam asked. "You can't shoot 'em, the Colt doesn't work anymore. You can't stab 'em. They're not just gonna wait in line to get exorcised."**

"**I don't care!" Tamara yelled, and now I wanted to hit _her_.**

"**You don't even know how many of them there are," Sam confronted her.**

"**Yeah, we do," Bobby contradicted, moving to a dresser loaded with books and picking one up. "There's seven. Do you have any idea who we're up against?"**

**I, always quick on the uptake, said, "the Seven Deadly Sins."**

**Bobby nodded. "Live and in the flesh. Way to steal my thunder, by the way."**

**Sam and Dean had their usual _how do you know this stuff_ expressions, and I felt slightly insulted.**

"**Oh, come on. It wasn't that hard to figure out. The family that was too lazy to eat, and then the woman who was so envious she killed someone? Then Bobby said 'seven'. Add it all up, it all spells duh!"**

**Sam and Dean looked insulted now. We were even; they insulted my intelligence, I, in turn, had insulted theirs.**

"**What is that, anyway," I asked pointing to the book Bobby was holding.**

"**_Binsfield Classification of Demons_. In 1589, Binsfield I.D.'d the seven sins. Not just as human vices, but as actual devils."**

"**Yeah, but sin is already innate or else sin couldn't control us, right?" I asked. "Which one do we have, anyway? Envy?" I hoped the guy was just loaded with one and not all seven.**

"**Yeah. You gave me the idea when we were in the store, by the way. When you put two and two together," Bobby said. "Good thinking. _Quick_ thinking."**

"**Why do we need to know what they are?" Tamara complained. "I don't give a rat's ass if they're the Three Stooges or the Four Tops! I'm gonna slaughter every last one of them."**

"**If you're gonna fight them, you might wanna know about them. I mean, how do you kill sin?" I asked as patiently as possible.**

"**Besides, we already did it your way," Bobby seethed, stepping closer to Tamara. "You burst in there half-cocked and look what happened! These demons haven't been topside in half a millennium! We're talking medieval. Dark Ages. We've never faced anything close to this! So, we are gonna take a breath, and figure out what our next move is!"**

**Sam, Dean, and I were shocked. I'd never seen Bobby lose his temper like that. He was usually a pretty together guy. I made a mental note to never piss Bobby off because the wrath of Bobby wasn't a pretty sight.**

"**I am sorry for your loss," Bobby finished softly.**

**Tamara didn't say anything, but I could tell she wanted to. Even though I was stunned by Bobby's outburst, I was overjoyed that it had shut Tamara up. She'd been starting to irk my nerves.**

**I looked at my two guys and noticed the looks of disbelief on their faces. They shook their heads, and then Envy, who had been pretty quiet up to now, laughed.**

"**So, you know who I am, huh? Miss Alyson Daniels didn't even have to look in a book."**

**If it hadn't been for the vibes the demon had been giving off, I would've forgotten it was here, but now it was drawing attention to itself.**

**We all went and stood in front of the demon and I saw it's eyes turn immediately black when it looked at me.**

"**Why're you here?" Sam asked. "What're you after?"**

**Envy didn't answer. He just sat there looking smug.**

"**He asked you a question," Dean said. "What do you want?"**

**Envy laughed, but again didn't answer. Dean pulled out a flask he carried with him; I knew it was full of holy water. He flung a little on Envy, who then flinched and groaned in pain.**

"**We already have what we want," the demon answered unwillingly. "We're out." He chuckled. "We're free. Thanks to you, my kind are everywhere. I am legion, for we are…many. So, me, I'm just celebrating. Havin' a little fun."**

"**Fun?" Sam questioned.**

"**Yeah, fun. See, some people crochet. Others golf. Me? I like to see peoples insides on their outsides."**

**Tamara stepped forward. "I'm gonna put you down like a dog."**

"**Please," Envy teased.**

"**He's just trying to provoke you," I said, grabbing her arm. "Don't give him the satisfaction."**

**Envy laughed. "You really think you're better than me. Which one of you can cast the first stone, huh? What about you, Dean?" Envy looked at him. "You're practically a walking billboard of gluttony and lust." Dean didn't deny it. What would be the use? Then Envy's eyes fell on Tamara. "And Tamara…all that wrath, ooh…" He tsk'd a few times, taunting. "It's the reason Isaac and you became hunters in the first place, isn't it? It's so much easier to drink in the rage than to face what really happened all those years ago."**

**Tamara pulled free of my grasp and punched Envy twice.**

"**Stop!" I grabbed her again. "There's still a human in there!"**

"**I don't care!" she yelled.**

"**Well, I do. You may not care if a human life is lost, but _I do_."**

"**See what I mean?" Envy said. "And you call us sins. We're not sins, man! We are natural human instinct. And you can repress and deny us all you want, but the truth is, you are just animals. Horny, greedy, hungry, violent animals. And ya know what?" He leaned forward like he was getting ready to reveal a secret. "You'll be slaughtered like animals, too. The others? They're comin' for me."**

"**Well, that doesn't give us much incentive to keep you around much longer, does it?" I questioned.**

**He smiled. "What're you gonna do, kill me? You can't do that without killing my meat suit."**

"**Oh, we're not gonna kill you," Dean said. "We're gonna send you back to hell. Someone send this clown packing."**

"**My pleasure," Tamara said, picking up a random book off the dresser and starting to read in Latin.**

**The guys and I went to another room as Envy began to scream in pain.**

"**I don't think we're gonna have to worry about hunting them," Bobby said. "I think maybe this joker's right. They're gonna be hunting _us_. And they're not gonna quit easy."**

"**You guys, why don't you take Tamara and head for the hills? I'll stay back, slow 'em down, buy a little time," Dean suggested.**

"**Would you just _stop_ with the suicide missions?" I asked, exasperated. "You may be ready to die, but we're not ready to lose you, so just drop it, okay?"**

**Not missing a beat, Dean said, "There's six of them, guys. We're out-manned, we're out-gunned. We'll be dead by dawn."**

"**There's five of us," I countered, "and I can handle two by myself. So we're even." I wasn't actually sure about the me-handling-two thing, but I was willing to say anything to get Dean to stop sacrificing himself.**

"**Besides, there's no place to hide that they won't find us," Bobby said.**

"**And if we're goin' down, we're goin' down together, all right?"**

**Dean sighed, getting it through his thick head that we weren't leaving him behind. "Well, let's not make it easy for them."**

**A strong wind suddenly ripped through the room, and Tamara came in from the other room. She tossed the book aside.**

"**Demon's out of the guy," she said.**

"**And the guy?" Sam questioned.**

"**He didn't make it." No emotion, just a matter of fact statement.**

**I prayed that when Dean was gone that I wouldn't lose my respect for human life like Tamara had.**

"**A'right, well, let's get to work."**

**Tamara and I checked the salt on each of the levels of the house, while Sam and Dean and Bobby got the weapons and the holy water together. We were using salt rounds for the shot guns, or they were, anyway. I couldn't use a shot gun without it knocking me on my butt.**

**I didn't like working with Tamara. Really, truly, I didn't. I could see a little of myself in her. I could see how I would be after Dean was gone. Bitter, enraged, wrathful.**

"**I left Isaac back at that bar," Tamara said, checking a salt line on the opposite side of the room as me. "We swore we'd never leave each other."**

**I didn't know what to say to that. What was there _to_ say. There was nothing I could say to comfort her. Her husband was gone and he wasn't coming back.**

"**I had a daughter once," she said softly, turning to me. I looked at her in confusion at why she was telling me this. "I saw you earlier, the question in your eyes. You were wondering how I got like this."**

"**Well, it did seem a little easy for you to kill that guy."**

**Tamara shook her head. "I wish I could disagree with you." She looked me up and down. "How old are you, Alyson? Sixteen, seventeen?"**

"**I'll be nineteen in a few months."**

"**You had to grow up fast. I can see that." She laughed bitterly. "The difference between you and me is that you still see them. The victims. The damage. I don't anymore. I don't know which is worse." She sighed, looking at me again. "I can see it in you, too, though. If you're not careful, you're gonna end up just like me. You don't wanna do that."**

"**No." I shook my head. "I don't."**

**After that, we finished checking the salt lines in silence. We'd said all we needed to say.**

**Downstairs, Dean and Sam were making sure the ammo was even and filling up flasks of holy water when I reached them.**

"**You know what we should invest in?" I asked, sitting down. "Super Soakers. We could squirt holy water on the demons without getting too close."**

**Sam grinned at my suggestion. "Oh, yes. Pump action water guns."**

"**Hm. The demons will never see it comin'."**

**Just then Bobby walked in. "Bathtubs on the top and bottom are filled with holy water."**

"**We're tryin' to keep as many of the people alive as possible, right?"**

"**Right," Dean said.**

**That familiar eerie feeling came over me just before a radio came on by itself.**

"**They're here," I said.**

**All five of us looked out a boarded up window near the front door. There was nothing in sight.**

"**Tamara! Tamara!" Isaac's voice came from a distance. "Tamara! Tamara! Help me, please!"**

**I looked at her and I could tell she was debating what to do. She knew he was gone but it was her _husband_ calling to her. Of course she felt she needed to go.**

"**Tamara! I got away, but I'm hurt bad. I need help!"**

**I could see Isaac at the front porch now. He had blood flowing out of his mouth, and he was dragging himself up the steps. He knocked on the door and I saw Tamara step forward. She had the palo santo in her hands.**

"**Baby! Why won't you let me in?"**

**Tamara gasped and looked at Bobby.**

"**It's not him. One of those demons is possessing his corpse."**

**Isaac pounded on the door again. "You left me behind back there. How could you do that? We swore! At that lake in Michigan, remember? We swore we would never leave each other."**

"**How did he know that?" Tamara sobbed desperately.**

"**He's just messing with your head," I said softly, grabbing her hand. "Don't let him get to you."**

"**You're just gonna leave me out here? You're just gonna let me die?" I saw Tamara squeeze the wood in her hand so hard I was scared she was going to leave an indention. "I guess that's what you do, dear." Tamara's sobs stopped; now she just looked angry. "Like that night those things came to our house. Came for our daughter! And you just let her die, too!"**

**The next couple things happened too quickly for anyone to stop them: Tamara yanked the door open, ruining the salt line in the process. She crashed through the front door, tackled Isaac down the front steps, and when they reached the ground she pinned him down with the palo santo.**

**Then the real trouble started. Since the salt line had broken when Tamara had opened the door, the other demons were able to come inside. One of them stopped and looked at me and Bobby. It smirked our way and Bobby grabbed my arm to pull me back away from the front door.**

**We moved back about ten paces until our backs hit the wall. I was wondering what we were doing and then the demon that had been following us stopped and looked up. There was a protective circle above him; he was trapped.**

**Bobby smirked. "Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son."**

**I looked at Bobby. "Should I take care of him now or wait?"**

"**Well, all the others went upstairs. Sam and Dean followed them. I can take care of this guy."**

"**Okay."**

**I went upstairs and followed the feeling to where it was strongest. I heard the demon downstairs scream; Bobby must've started the exorcism. Then I heard "Come on. You really think something like that is gonna fool someone like me? I mean, _me_?"**

**I hurried to the voice. Sam and three demons were in a room alone. Where was Dean? It didn't do much good to sneak up on them. Sam's eyes flickered to me and then they looked at me, their eyes black.**

**There were two male demons and one female. The one male was wearing a lawyer type suit and I could feel which sin he was coming off of him in waves.**

"**Pride's a sin, ya know," I quipped, stepping into the room. I saw that if Pride took one more step he'd be trapped in a protective circle. Was there one in each room or something?"**

**Pride grinned and waved his hand. The ceiling immediately began to crumble, breaking the protective circle, which made it useless.**

"**The root of all sin, actually," Pride claimed. "And you are Alyson Daniels, and he is Sam Winchester." He glanced at Sam, taking a step forward. "That's right, I've heard of ya - we've all heard of ya. The Prodigy, the Boy King. Lookin' at ya now, I've gotta tell ya: don't believe the hype."**

**I glanced at Sam now, who looked sort of confused and then made my move. I centered myself almost immediately and focused on the other male demon, who immediately began to scream. I narrowed my eyes and clenched my fists by my side, willing the demon to leave the body. It was over before it had really begun. It hadn't been hard at all.**

**Though it announced my plan to the other two, and one lunged for me, and Pride grabbed for Sam. The demon hit me in the side of the head and I saw stars for a second, before getting my bearings again.**

**Just as I was getting ready to get rid of the female, a blonde girl walked in. My age, maybe a year or two older. She had a knife, though, and she sliced it across the female's neck, causing a spark of light to fill the area around the wound.**

**Without stopping to see if I was okay, she went to Pride, who was knocking Sam around, and pulled him away, slicing his neck, too. The same weird light came and I realized it was because the demons had died. The knife could kill demons. The Colt produced the same light when demons died from it…this girl had a demon killing knife.**

**I boosted myself up and went to help Sam.**

"**Who the hell are you?" Sam and I asked the girl in unison.**

"**I'm the girl that just saved your asses," she said. No attitude, just a statement.**

"**I had it covered," I said, and she smirked.**

**Then she turned around and walked out of the room. Sam and I glanced at each other before hurrying after her. But she was already gone.**

"**Huh." There was still a demon around. I could feel it, and then I heard it. A woman screaming. Sam and I followed the sound to the bathroom where Dean had been dunking a scantily clad woman in holy water.**

"**Hold her still," I demanded.**

**This time it was harder to pull the demon out. This demon fought. It didn't want to leave the body at all. Obviously, it liked it here.**

**I paid attention this time. I saw the long stream of black demon smoke being drawn out of the woman's mouth and then I saw the scorch marks it left around the body when it faded into the floor.**

**The woman passed out and I blinked a few times in surprise. Sam and Dean were staring at the place the demon had disappeared. Sam was actually standing there in open-mouthed shock.**

**My body pretty much gave out on me then. I guessed I'd overtaxed myself. Sam caught me before I hit the floor and then everything went black.**

**When I woke up I was still on the floor so I knew I hadn't been out long. I tried moving, but I realized every muscle in my body ached and I stopped trying to move, period.**

"**Aly?" Dean's voice filled my head loudly. "Are you okay? What happened?"**

"**Tired," I answered.**

"**Are you gonna be okay?" Sam asked.**

"**Mm-hm." Although I was having problems forming sentences, apparently.**

"**She exorcised two demons tonight, Dean," Sam said. "It obviously took a lot out of her."**

"**Ya think?" Dean said, voice strained. His eyes softened when he looked at me. "Are you really okay?"**

"**I hurt," I said. "I can't move."**

**I realized my head was on Dean's lap and he was stroking my hair gently. Suddenly, it didn't matter that he'd been flirting with some random girl earlier. I'd never expected to be the center of his universe. I'd never expected him to not look at other girls just because he was with me. And he cared about _me_; he was with _me_.**

"**The girl, is she okay?" I asked.**

"**She's fine. She passed out, too," Sam said.**

"**Go check on her," I said. I'd never really exorcised a demon before and I didn't know the effect it had on people.**

"**Are you okay to stand?" Dean asked, helping me into an upright position. I found I could stand, but I was too shaky to walk. Dean caught me beneath the knees and picked me up. "Come on, we're gonna get you downstairs."**

"**The guy. There was a guy I exorcised. Check on him."**

"**Just let me take care of you first."**

"**I'll check on him," Sam volunteered. "Take care of her."**

**On the way downstairs I told Dean about the blond girl and the demon-killing knife. I could tell he'd never heard of such a thing. I got the same reaction from Bobby when I told him.**

**I realized, when we got downstairs, that the man the demon had been possessing that Bobby had exorcised was still alive. He was in the middle of running out the door, actually.**

**When Sam came back down, leading the woman who had passed out, I knew the other guy I'd exorcised hadn't made it. Sam led the woman out and said he was going to check on Tamara. I'd all but forgotten she was even here.**

"**You gonna be okay?" Dean asked me. "We've gotta start burying the victims."**

"**Burying?" Bobby asked. "Don't you mean salt and burn? These guys are vengeful spirit material."**

"**Yeah, yeah." Dean looked at me, still awaiting an answer.**

"**Oh, um…yeah, I'm good. Go do whatever you have to."**

**I felt bad for not helping move the corpses and for not helping dig the ditches to burn them in, but I just couldn't move. I was worn slam out.**

**I had actually gone to sleep and when I woke up the sun was shining brightly through the cracks in the boarded up windows. I didn't know how long I'd been out, but when I'd gone to sleep it had still been dark and now it wasn't.**

**I felt a little better after I woke up and I actually got up to move around. I felt sore like I'd done an extreme workout the day before.**

**When I made it to the front door a chill hit me again - the eerie one - and I tensed.**

"**Hello, Alyson," a semi-familiar voice said from behind me.**

**I turned around and a few paces in front of me was the blond girl from before. She was pretty. She was also…possessed. And she knew my name. That didn't surprise me so much anymore; it seemed like every demon knew my name.**

"**You've been following us for two days," I stated.**

"**I have," she admitted.**

"**Why?" I demanded.**

"**I have my reasons."**

"**Hm. They can't be good reasons, coming from you."**

**She shrugged noncommittally. "If that's what you wanna believe."**

**I stepped forward and she took a few steps back. Interesting.**

**I smirked. "Scared?"**

"**Careful," she corrected. "I know what'll happen to me if you get the urge to get rid of me."**

"**Then why are you here, risking your…life." Or whatever the demonic equivalent of life was.**

"**Because I know you're weak right now."**

"**Weak?" I questioned.**

**I focused on the sheath attached to her leg with the knife in it and pulled the knife out with my mind. I held it steady an arm's length away from her.**

"**If you try to grab it, I'll kill you."**

**Her demon eyes flashed black in irritation. "I'm here to help you, ya know."**

"**_You_ wanna help _me_?" I laughed shortly. "Okay, you do remember you're a demon, right?"**

**She rolled her eyes. "Do you wanna fight or do you wanna shut up and listen?" I considered the offer. "Fighting won't save your boyfriend."**

"**What do you mean?" I asked harshly. What did she know?**

"**I mean, I know how to keep him alive," she said, and just like before there was no attitude, it was just a statement of fact.**

**I breathed shakily. "And I'm just supposed to believe you? You're a _demon_. Saving lives isn't what you do." I shook my head. "Why would you come to me in the first place?"**

"**I told you. I want to help save Dean." She shook her head. "You'll need help. You can't save him alone."**

**The knife nicked her cheek and the flashy light came from the wound. She didn't make a sound, but she did flinch.**

"**I hate you," I seethed.**

**She smirked. "And I'm all you've got."**

**I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Who are you, anyway?"**

"**Ruby. My name's Ruby."**

"**Well, Ruby. You can have your stupid knife back," I said. I had considered keeping it, but it wasn't mine.**

**She grabbed it from the air and then before I could say anything else she disappeared.**

**I rolled my eyes, not surprised. Damn demon. Probably should've taken her out as soon as I sensed her, but…_Dean_. What if she _could_ help? What if she _wasn't_ lying? I had to know for sure before I got rid of her.**

**Outside, I watched as Tamara drove off in her car - I guessed she'd just been squatting here. Then Bobby took off in his Chevelle. Sam and Dean watched him and then they came over to me.**

"**Hey," Sam asked. "Feeling better?"**

**I shrugged. "I guess."**

"**So…where to?" Dean asked us.**

"**Uh, I dunno," Sam said. "I was thinkin' Louisiana, maybe. I was talkin' to Tamara and she mentioned this hoodoo priest just outside Shreveport that might be able to help us out. You know, with your demon deal."**

**Dean didn't even consider it. "Nah." Like he didn't even care that he was going to die and go to hell. "No hoodoo spell is gonna break this deal, all right? It's a goose chase.**

"**We don't know that -"**

"**Yes, we do," Dean interrupted. "Forget it. It won't help. We're not goin' and that's that."**

**I let out a sharp breath. "Dean, what's wrong with you? Do you…wanna die? Is that it? Because if that's it, you should just let us know now so we can give up. I mean, first the suicide missions and now this? We _want_ to save you, but it's like you don't even care."**

**Dean looked like he was about to say something but I cut him off.**

"**And don't give me the whole 'I'm already dead' speech because that's a bunch of bull. You're heart is still beating, Dean, which means you're still alive. Stop acting like you have a death wish or something."**

"**Aly…" Dean say, warning in his voice. He didn't want to talk about this.**

"**Don't _Aly_ me. You don't get to get out of this. _Why_ are you acting this way?"**

"**You can't save me," he said softly. "Neither of you can."**

"**Why not?" Sam, who had been a silent bystander until now, said.**

"**Because if we trap the crossroads demon? Trick it? Try to welch our way out of the deal in anyway? You die, okay? You _die_," he said to Sam.**

**I grabbed onto Sam's arm - he was nearest and I needed something to keep me standing. All the air had rushed out of my lungs at Dean's revelation. Agony rolled through me and my mind rejected what he was saying. He couldn't be saying what I thought he was saying, could he?**

"**Those are the terms. There's no way out of it."**

"**No," I said, shaking my head. "No."**

**Dean was right in front of me, yet I could feel the despair like he was already gone, like he'd already been taken from me.**

**Sam's hand found its way to my back. Whether it was to steady me or to steady himself, I wasn't sure, but his hand was fisted in my shirt.**

"**How could you make that deal, Dean?"**

"**Because I couldn't live with you dead," Dean said simply, like he was talking about the weather. "Couldn't do it."**

**I'd told Sam that myself once recently, but now that reason sounded…unacceptable.**

"**What, so now, I live and you die?" Sam asked, and he sounded so vulnerable I squeezed his arm. The arm I was still holding onto because I wasn't sure my legs would support me. "You're a hypocrite, Dean. How did you feel when Dad sold his soul for you? 'Cause I was there, I remember. You were twisted and broken. And now you go and do the same thing…to me. What you did was selfish."**

"**Yeah, you're right," Dean admitted. "It was selfish. But I'm okay with that. After everything I've done for this family, I think I'm entitled. Truth is, I'm tired. And I don't know, it's like there's a light at the end of the tunnel."**

"**That's hellfire, Dean," Sam corrected.**

"**Well, whatever. You're alive. I've got a year to live. I'd like to make the most of it. So, what do you say we kill some evil sons of bitches and we raise a little hell., huh?"**

**Dean was grinning. That was something I used to find infectious. I would grin when he grinned, _because_ he was grinning. But now I wanted him to stop. It was all wrong. He shouldn't be grinning because he was going to die. He shouldn't be acting like everything was going to be all right, because nothing was ever going to be all right again.**

**Nothing.**

* * *

Okay, so anyway...I like this chapter for some reason. I don't know why, exactly, but I like it. LOL. Anyway, as usual, let me know what you think. Thanks. :)


	5. The Kids Are All Right Pt One

**The Kids Are All Right  
Part One**

**It had been a month since Dean had revealed the truth about his deal. It hadn't made Sam stop looking; it had made him look harder, actually.**

**I helped Sam in between cases - Dean kept us busy with vampires, ghosts, and demons. Mostly demons - there were more demons now, so there were more demon possessions.**

**Things with Dean were…different now. The only time things were the same was when we were working. When we were alone, which wasn't a lot, things were bad. We barely talked outside of work, and I noticed small things that were off about him.**

**He flirted with other women now, and he did it obviously, like he was _trying_ to piss me off, or like he was trying to hurt me. It didn't hurt me, exactly, because that was _all_ he was doing…flirting. And if he'd really wanted to hurt me, he could have. He was never away at night. Well, from me, yes, he was away, but with other girls…no, he wasn't away.**

**But things _were_ different. It wasn't like before when I was ignoring him because now I was trying. Dean just wasn't. It was like he wasn't interested anymore. The only time he really even touched me was when he thought I was hurt. Or, sometimes he'd just absentmindedly touch me like he used to, but then he'd realize what he was doing, and he'd stop. And he'd get this look on his face like he was a little kid who had gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar.**

**It was me, I was sure. When I'd exorcised those two demons I'd freaked him out and he didn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me. That had to be it, right? And that was why he was pushing me away. It had to be, because I hadn't done anything else differently, I hadn't done anything to deserve the distance he was giving me. Maybe exorcising demons without an exorcism ritual was a bad thing to do around Dean?**

**Speaking of demons, I hadn't even seen Ruby again, and I'd all but forgotten her. I hadn't mentioned her to Sam or Dean because I didn't feel the need to. She hadn't been back, so she wasn't a big deal.**

**My birthday was coming up and I'd made it clear we _weren't_ celebrating, and I didn't need gifts. The only thing I needed was for Dean to live, and then for him to talk to me. Maybe not in that order.**

**But as of now, he wasn't talking to me much and touching me even less, and I was spending more and more time with Sam. He was great…but he wasn't Dean. Not as fun as Dean, not as good at making me happy, and being away from Dean so much was…excruciating. There was an almost physical ache in me because he'd never actually pushed me away for so long.**

**I think it was worse, too, because we'd never gone so long without _connecting_. Not physically, but…soulfully? He just wouldn't anymore. I knew he'd enjoyed it. I knew that. He'd told me over and over again, and I'd felt it enough to know it was the truth.**

**But now, he didn't want to anymore, and it hurt, like a part of me was missing because he wasn't there. We didn't even sleep together anymore. I usually shared a room with Sam when we stayed at a motel.**

**For the first week, I thought maybe he was just trying to get back at me for ignoring him that one time, but then I realized Dean wouldn't do that and I felt bad for even thinking he would.**

**So now, I'd come to the conclusion that it was my fault. I was too much of a freak for him. I'd always been self-conscious about my abilities, and Dean knew that, but I'd never thought Dean would hold it against me. I couldn't help it. I didn't ask for my abilities. I didn't do anything to earn them, they were just given to me. I mean, it wasn't like it was a life-style choice.**

**We were at a motel now, and of course, Sam and I were sharing a room. We'd gone to bed an hour ago and I still wasn't sleeping. Too many thoughts were filling my head to relax enough to sleep.**

**For the past few nights, I'd had nightmares. Or…_a_ nightmare over and over. It was strange and scary and disturbing.**

**I didn't remember all of it, only flashes. Only bits and pieces stood out.**

**I knew the dreams felt real, like they were happening as I saw them. I remembered in the dream I was watching a town basically fall apart. An earthquake, maybe? The streets were lined with people freaking out. I was aware of a pain in my lower abdomen and I wasn't sure why that stood out. Then I realized it wasn't a pain, exactly, it was an emptiness, a lack of everything.**

**I remembered Dean was there telling me he loved me. I remembered we each were like one soul reaching toward another.**

**I remembered throwing my arms around him, but my body went through his and there was nothing there. I remembered staying at the empty space and screaming.**

**In the real world, I moaned and rolled onto my back. I was crying. _Again_. I'd been doing that randomly ever since Dean had made the deal.**

**I rolled back onto my stomach and buried my face in my pillow. I didn't want Sam to hear if I decided to spill the gut-wrenching sobs I felt building up.**

**These dreams were tearing me apart because they were so close to reality it wasn't funny.**

**I knew the earthquake probably symbolized how shaky my world felt to me now. Everything I'd come to rely on was going to be taken away from me. The one thing - well, person - that was the center of my world, universe, galaxy, was going to be gone in less than a year. So the Dean thing in the dream was self-explanatory. I knew I was going to lose him. The dream was just a dreadful reminder.**

**Sam and I went to breakfast together the next morning. We texted Dean the name of the restaurant. If he came he came, if he didn't…that was his prerogative.**

**After we ordered our food and it was brought to our table I pretty much just moved the food around on the plate, thinking.**

**I didn't know what to do. I only had two options, really: stay or go. I could tell him to take me to Bobby's and I'd stay there. I could go to college, get a job, live a somewhat normal life, or I could hunt by myself. I knew enough to do that myself now.**

**But every time I even thought that, every part of me said _no_. I'd already promised to never leave Dean unless he sent me away, and so I would stay and suffer.**

**It sounded stupid, or at the very least, irrational, to stay, But I _had_ to. Even if, when the time came…he'd really be gone.**

"**Eat," Sam said softly, breaking through my thoughts. "Don't make me force-feed you."**

"**That would be interesting to see," I said, trying for a light, teasing sound, yet not quite reaching it.**

**I took a bite of eggs, though, to appease him.**

**Someone tapped on the window and I jumped slightly. It was just Dean, and I mentally reprimanded myself for being so jumpy. He came in and took his place beside me, slinging his arm behind me onto the back of my chair. He was _carefully_ not touching me.**

"**Hey, I think I may have found something," Dean said, tossing a newspaper on the table. "A guy in Cicero, Indiana…falls on his own power saw."**

**The newspaper headline read: Man Dead in Tragic Home Accident. Looking over the article, I read that the guy had been found in his garage work-space, and he had an ex-wife and a daughter.**

"**And? What, that's it? Just one power saw?" Sam questioned.**

"**Well, yeah," Dean nodded.**

**Dean began playing with my hair, twirling it around his fingers. My fork clattered to my plate in shock and he stopped. It was almost as if he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't.**

**I felt the warmth of his arm against my back and I wanted so very much to lean against him. I knew that if I gave in…he'd move away.**

"**And you think that this is a case?" Sam, again.**

"**Well, I don't know. It could be."**

"**Or it could be an isolated incident," I said. "Unless you know something we don't."**

"**A'right. There's somethin' better in Cicero than just a case."**

"**And that is…?"**

"**Lisa Braden." He had a wide smile on his face, but it wasn't genuine.**

**I could've smacked him. He wanted to go to Indiana for a girl? Really? I clenched my jaw, reminding myself that as of now I didn't have a claim on him. We weren't really a couple anymore.**

"**Should I even ask?" Sam asked, shaking his head.**

"**Remember that road trip I took…gosh, about eight years ago? You were in Orlando with dad, wrapping up that banshee thing."**

"**Yeah, the five states, five days. Right?"**

"**Yeah, well, kind of. Although I spent most of my time in Lisa Braden's loft."**

**That was enough of that. I stood up, eyes stinging, and began walking away. I heard a chair scoot away from the table and I knew it was Sam. I stopped, sighed, and turned around.**

"**Wait," he said. "Come back. Dean's just…bein' an ass."**

**I looked at Dean, who was pointedly looking the other way. "I'm sorry," I told Sam. "I just…forgot to be hungry." I sighed again, wrapping my arms around myself. "Is there something wrong with me? I mean, if there were something wrong with me, you'd tell me, right?"**

"**Yeah, in a heartbeat," he said, though he was joking a little. "But…it's not you. This one's all Dean."**

**I nodded. "Okay, well, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I…need to be away for a second, so I can…be away."**

**My grammar and sentence structure was definitely on the fritz today.**

**I walked to the bathroom and once inside I went to the mirror. I looked…horrible. My usually tan skin was paler - too many night jobs that had me sleeping away the sunlight hours. My usually curvy figure seemed disfiguring now. I'd lost weight. I knew because my jeans were loose now. I looked downright unhealthy. I was sure that if I were to lift my shirt I'd be able to see my ribs jutting out.**

**I made a mental note to actually give an honest effort to eating. If I wasn't careful I'd waste away. And it wasn't like I was starving myself. Honestly it was like I'd told Sam earlier. I had way too much to focus on and I forgot to be hungry.**

**Dean was being almost…mean, and that wasn't like him. He'd always - _always _- treated me good and let me know I was his only…I never had to fight for his affection. I just had to be me. But now…everything was different.**

**I ran my fingers through my limp hair, sniffling a few times. I wiped my eyes, tears still stinging but not falling over.**

**I walked back out and saw that Sam and Dean weren't at the table, so I figured they'd gone outside to the car. The table had been cleared.**

**I went outside and walked to the corner of the building - the car was parked on the side - and stopped when I heard them talking. About me, I assumed.**

"**What the hell are you doing, Dean? You have to see what you're doin' to her. If you're not careful she's gonna end up hating you."**

"**Maybe it's better that way, Sammy," Dean said softly. So softly I barely heard him.**

"**Better? With her hurting like that? Better for who? You?" I could practically feel Sam roll his eyes. "That's a load of crap, Dean. She's blaming herself, did you know that? She thinks there's somethin' wrong with her. That's why you won't have anything to do with her. You're making her think that she's not good enough, and that's not fair."**

"**Sam, I know what I'm doin', okay?"**

"**No, not okay." I heard Sam exhale loudly. "Dean, what d'you think Mom would say if she were here? Or Dad? I mean, he's the only who told you to treat her right. He's the one who gave you the ring you gave to her. The ring she's still wearing, by the way."**

**My fingers automatically traveled to the sapphire ring on my left hand.**

"**The ring you gave her when you swore you wouldn't leave her alone, that you'd be here _with_ her as long as you were alive. But she's alone now, Dean. You've got her so tied up she can't even think straight. She's _lost_ without you, Dean."**

"**You think I don't know that, Sam?" Dean's voice came across rough and weary. "You think I can't see that? I see her everyday and I can see that she's slipping. I see what it's gonna be like for her when I'm gone. And so I'm…pushing her away." I imagined him swallowing against the pain. "You don't know how hard it is to see her and know that you could make her feel at least a little bit better if you could just wrap your arms around her. But I can't. I won't. She deserves better than me, Sam."**

"**No," Sam said softly. "She deserves to make that decision on her own. I mean, you don't hear her, Dean. She doesn't go a night without crying. And I mean, _crying_. Like full out sobbing, like her world is ending. I mean, crying so hard it makes _me_ hurt. And I know it's hard for you to comprehend, but she loves you. You are the world to her. So if you're gonna push her away…just tell her to go. Don't drag her along like this. It's not right, and you'll only end up having her hate you."**

**After the conversation was over I went back inside the restaurant. I was going to get some coffee, which I would pay for later because I hadn't eaten anything, but I had to make sure they didn't know that I'd been eavesdropping.**

**A weight had sort of been lifted because now I knew that it wasn't _me_. It wasn't my fault. Dean wasn't freaked out, or if he was…that wasn't the reason he was being the way he was. It explained a lot, the conversation I'd heard.**

**A sort of fond frustration came over me. That was _so_ Dean. Pushing me away while he was suffering because he thought it was better for me.**

**Then a different sort of frustration came over me because Sam had heard me crying all those nights, and I'd thought I'd hidden it so well. I hadn't wanted him to suffer right along with me.**

**Everything slid into place, though. The flirting, the not talking to me about anything except business…Dean was getting me ready for when he was actually gone. He didn't want me to have to quit cold turkey. We were going through a twelve step thing.**

**After getting my drink, I went back out to the car and saw they were both inside already. Once I got in the back and got settled in, I realized I felt lighter than I had in a long time. I realized that part of the reason I'd been so upset about Dean practically ignoring me was because I hadn't known why. I'd just thought it was something I'd done, but that weight was gone now that I knew the real reason.**

"**So, Indiana, right? Great," So sad that I actually felt happy about that. I knew now that Dean was just trying to make me let go of him by doing all the things he'd done. "Let's go.**

**Sam looked at me like I'd grown another head, and I smiled innocently at him.**

"**What?"**

"**Nothing," he said. "It's just everyone's gone crazy, it seems."**

"**Oh." I shrugged. "Hunting will do that to a person."**

**Sam blinked a few times. "Do you care if I throw holy water on you?"**

"**Why?"**

"**Because I think you're possessed."**

"**Holy water won't hurt me, I'm not possessed…I'm just…" I looked down at my twenty ounce coffee. "Getting ready to be highly caffeinated."**

**Sam still seemed weirded out by my sudden mood swing, but he didn't say anything else about it and turned back around in his seat.**

**We were only about two hours away from Indiana so we got there before lunch time. Dean dropped us off at a motel - Cicero Pines Motel. Sam and I checked in for a week. The room came with cable and a phone. There was a pool outside, which I would probably make use of. It _was _the middle of summer, after all.**

**There was a diner next door. I was sure Dean had picked this motel for that reason.**

**After we checked in, I talked Sam into going to the store with me. We were in town, there were stores everywhere and I needed a bathing suit. Since Dean was doing whatever he was doing, and we didn't actually have a job right now, I was going to get a tan. Put some color back into my now pallid skin.**

**At the store - Walmart - it didn't take me long to find the suit I wanted. It was black, and it was one of those that covered the front but had an open back, and it came down in a skirt. It stopped around mid-thigh.**

**After getting the suit, I went to get some sun block, and then after that we went to the hair styling place.**

"**You're getting your hair cut?" Sam asked.**

"**Not much, just getting the split ends off," I reassured him. Why did he care if I got my hair cut, anyway?**

**After the split ends were gone, I ended up getting it layered. The shortest layer was about chin length - which was maybe a little drastic since my hair had been evenly shaped to reach the middle of my back - and the longest layer was about three inches past my shoulders. My hair surrounded my face attractively; I liked it. **

**I paid the hair dresser and then we left. We'd walked to the store; the motel was only about a mile away and so we were heading back now. We talked a little about everything and then about nothing at all. Sam said he liked my hair.**

**When we got near the motel, I almost stopped walking. I felt that eerie feeling again, though I knew this time it was Ruby. She had her own distinct feeling. Evil, of course, because she was a demon, but there was something more there. Something I was picking up that had nothing to do with her being a demon.**

**Sam and I kept walking, and I played it off like I hadn't felt anything. Then, there she was, standing in front of our door.**

"**Hello, guys," she said, smirking.**

**Sam stopped in his tracks, surprised. "You again? You've been following us since Lincoln."**

"**Not much gets by ya, huh?"**

**Sam shook his head. "That knife you had - you can kill demons with that thing?"**

"**Sure comes in handy when I have to swoop in and save the damsel in distress." I could tell she meant Sam and not myself. It was almost funny.**

"**Where'd you get it?" Sam asked curiously.**

"**SkyMall."**

"**Why're you following me?" Sam, again. "Or us."**

"**I'm interested in you," Ruby smiled.**

"**Why?"**

"**Because you're tall. I love a tall man. And then there's the whole anti-Christ thing." She smirked; she did that a lot. Maybe it was the whole demon thing, or maybe it was just her M.O. "Ya know, generation of psychic kids, Yellow-Eyed Demon rounds you up, _Celebrity Deathmatch_ ensues. You're the sole survivor."**

"**How do you know about that?" Sam asked.**

"**I'm a good hunter," she said, shrugging.**

"**A hunter?" I snorted. "Right."**

**She rolled her eyes. "So, Yellow-Eyes had some pretty big plans for you, Sam."**

"**_Had_ being the key word," I said.**

"**Oh, yeah, that's right. Ding Dong, the demon's dead. Good job with that. Doesn't change the fact that you're special in the Anthony Michael Hall, ESP-vision kind of way."**

"**No," Sam disagreed. "That stuff's not happening anymore. Not since Yellow-Eyes died."**

"**Well, I'm thinking you're still a pretty big deal. I mean, after all that business with your mom."**

**_That_ got Sam's attention. "What about my mom?"**

"**You know, what happened to her friends…"**

**Sam and I both stared, confused.**

"**You…don't know." Ruby shook her head and smirked _again_. "You have got a little bit of catching up to do, my _friend_." She was speaking solely to Sam now. "So, why don't you look into your mom's pals" - she grabbed a pen out of her pocket and took Sam's hand, writing her number down - "and then give me a call, and we'll talk again."**

**She began walking away from us and then turned back around. "And by the way, you do know there's a job in this town, right?"**

**Then she was walking away again.**

"**Wait here," I told Sam and then went after Ruby. "Wait." I grabbed her arm and dragged her a little ways away from Sam so he wouldn't hear.**

"**What?"**

"**You said you could help Dean. As far as I know he's still dying."**

"**Do you trust me?" she asked, taking me by surprise.**

"**What? No. You're a demon."**

"**Then I can't help you." She sighed. "Do you know why I came to you first? Because you're more reasonable than them. I knew you'd actually listen. I am surprised, though, that you didn't tell them what I am."**

"**Well, it's been a month since I last saw you. I figured it didn't matter." I looked her up and down. "You know the only reason you're still here is because of Dean."**

"**I do know that," she said.**

"**Are you taking care of her? Whoever you're possessing. Eating, sleeping, being careful. Keeping her alive?"**

"**She's alive and buried deep inside her own subconscious. She won't remember a lot."**

"**Good." I sighed, shaking my head, not believing I was going to let her stay, let her keep possessing the poor girl she was riding around in. "You can…go."**

"**Oh, thanks for your permission," she snarked before disappearing.**

**I clenched my jaw and looked around. Stupid demon vanished into thin air in a public, open space. Anyone could've seen, but luckily the only ones around were me and Sam. And Sam was busy talking on the phone and looking the other way.**

**I shook my head again and went back to Sam, who shut his phone as I approached.**

"**That was Dean. And there _is_ a job here." Sam pocketed his phone. "Dean said something about Morning Hill Community. People have been falling off latter's, drowning in Jacuzzis. Five in all. Four never made the paper."**

"**Huh."**

"**Yeah. Dean gave me a list of names. We can check them out if you want."**

"**Sure. Sure, just…let me go put my suit up and then I'll be ready."**

"**Dress in business clothes. We're going as insurance people."**

"**Hm. Any…common denominators between the victims?"**

"**They're all male, and they were fathers.**

"**Oh."**

**An hour later, we were dressed and ready to go. Sam was gonna go to this one house where the dad had fallen off a latter; I was going to a house where the dad had drowned in the Jacuzzi.**

**The first thing we were going to look for was sulfur. Of course. Demonic activity was rife now.**

**Sam and I were waiting for Dean to come pick us up and we were ready. I'd offered to rent a car for the day, but Sam had said Dean would come get us if he knew what was good for him. So we were waiting.**

**While we were waiting, Bobby called me. Me, because he couldn't get in touch with Sam or Dean. Sam's phone was off, I knew that much. I didn't know why Dean wasn't answering. Maybe he was busy, or maybe his phone was off, too.**

**Anyway, Bobby was on the phone now, and I'd put him on speaker.**

"**Where are you guys?" he asked, skipping over pleasantries.**

"**Indiana, why?" I answered and asked.**

"**I'll get to that. Are you workin'?"**

"**Starting to, yeah," Sam said. "What's goin' on, Bobby?"**

"**Somethin' weird. I haven't completely figured it out yet, but I'm in Columbus Ohio. It's 110 degrees here. Summer is usually pleasant here. They've had heat spells, sure, but nothin' like this, and not for as long."**

"**You're freaking out over a heat wave?" I asked suspiciously. That wasn't like Bobby.**

"**I wasn't done. If you'd hold your horses…"**

"**Okay, okay." I grinned. "Sorry."**

"**Okay, well, heat makes everyone insane, anyway, but tempers have been flaring. People have been going missing. Mostly teenagers. One girl was last seen with her boyfriend at a bar. Her name was Alicia Allen. I talked to the boyfriend, he didn't know anything. He's a scumbag, though. The weirdest thing, though, is that I'd heard of two people spontaneously combusting."**

**I looked at Sam. "Spontaneously combusting?" Wow. "I thought that was just a myth."**

"**Well, I'm not sure it was spontaneous, but they did combust. The coroner's stumped, he's the one who said it was spontaneous." I head Bobby sigh, or yawn. "The two guys burnt up from the inside out. Organs liquefied, eyeballs burst. They were practically charcoal by the time it was over."**

"**Ew," I said emphatically. "And…_ow_." I hoped the two hadn't…felt all that. Or if they had, I hoped it was over quickly.**

"**Yeah," Bobby agreed. "So get here when you can."**

"**Will do, Bobby," Sam said. "And be careful, what with the spontaneous combustion and all."**

"**Yeah," he said again. Then he hung up.**

**I began taking off my suit jacket, grateful to take it off. "I'll be Research-girl today. I didn't feel like dressing up today, anyway."**

**I went back in the bathroom and changed to my regular clothes. A white tank top with a baby blue camisole underneath. The cami was slightly longer so it hung down below the shirt. My blue jeans weren't as snug as the used to be and I had to wear a belt to keep them from slipping down.**

**By the time I was done, Dean was here waiting outside the motel room. Sam had his laptop in one arm and an empty briefcase in the other. He was dressed as an insurance agent, so I assumed the briefcase was part of the package.**

"**Hey, I need the computer," I said. "Like I said, Research-girl."**

"**You're comin' with us. You can stay in the car or something."**

"**I think it would be better if I stayed here. Dean seems to not want me around as much."**

**It was hard saying that last line, not because it was true - I knew it wasn't - but because since I'd heard their earlier conversation I knew he wanted me around, but in a weird way, he was trying to protect me by keeping me at arms length.**

"**Well, Dean can get over it," Sam said, grabbing my arm. "Come on."**

"**Fine, fine." I rolled my eyes and pretended I didn't want to go. But inside, I felt a little stirring of happiness. It seemed Sam wanted Dean and I to work it out, or at least talk again. That's why he was dragging me along with them.**

**Needless to say, I wanted Dean to talk to me again too.**

**So I let Sam lead the way.**

Okay, so...I know some of you hardcore Dean fans are probably going to think that what Dean is doing is stupid and that he probably wouldn't do this, but I think he would solely for the fact that he thinks it will help Aly when he's really gone. He's not trying to be mean, he's trying to distance himself so it's not as hard for her when he's gone, but don't worry it won't last forever. I haven't figured out how long it'll be, BUT I know it won't be forever. LOL :) Anyway, thanks for reading and let me know what you think, please.


	6. The Kids Are All Right Pt Two

**Okay, I'm thanking everyone who's reviewed so far. REALLY THANK YOU :)**

**Okay, another note here. I'm disclaiming everything again. If you recognize it from the show then it's not mine. The only things I own are the OCs. Eric Kripke is the god of the universe, he created it, I'm just playing with it. LOL**

**The Kids Are All Right  
Part Two**

**Out at the car, I started to get in the backseat, but Sam beat me to it. I could've gotten in the back with him, but the empty space beside Dean was too tempting to pass up. Way too tempting.**

**Once in the car, I looked at Dean, who was actually openly looking at me.**

**My brows arched up. "What?"**

**His hand came up to rest in my hair. "You got your hair cut." He noticed the touching and immediately pulled his hand away. "It's nice. It suits you."**

**Dean translation: he liked it.**

"**Bobby called, said he might need us on this hunt he's on. He doesn't know what he's hunting yet…"**

**Sam and I went on to explain what Bobby had told us.**

**Dean was far away during our explanation, though, like his mind was definitely somewhere else. Lisa, maybe?**

**My gut twisted inside of me when I thought that and I was sure I looked like I had the stomach-virus all of a sudden.**

"**So, spontaneous human combustion, huh?" Dean asked absently. "In Ohio."**

"**That's what Bobby said," Sam said. "He's not sure what's doin' it."**

"**And the girl? Bobby says the boyfriend's innocent?"**

"**That's right. Scumbag material, but innocent anyway." I glanced out the window as we drove and took in the scenery. Green trees everywhere. "I'll look up stuff while you guys go do whatever you have to."**

"**Hence the laptop," Sam commented from the back.**

**The car ride was pretty uneventful aside from the good classic rock music blaring out of the radio. We reached Morning Hill Community in about ten minutes, and I saw that some of the houses weren't even finished yet. One of the houses only had the wood framing done and there was red dirt out front. Or maybe it was clay, I wasn't sure.**

**Dean drove us to the community park and left the car there in the parking lot.**

"**We'll be back soon," Dean said. "Be careful."**

"**_You_ guys be careful," I said. "Last time I checked I'm female. This thing is a danger to you guys. Not me."**

**I got out of the car and asked Dean for the keys. I wanted a blanket from the trunk so I could lay down on the ground while I researched. Dean let me keep the keys, and he and Sam went on their way.**

**This park was pretty big. Plenty of space to play sports if you wanted. There were swings - I'd maybe use them before we left - a slide, monkey bars, see-saws - shuddered because I hated teeter-totters. There was a vending machine in a little concession stand thing.**

**There were about six kids on the playground part of the park; the rest were actually playing a sport of some kind. There was a soccer field on the opposite side of the park, and a few kids were there too. Three kids were just standing a few feet away. It was creepy, and not normal. They felt off a little.**

**I went to the vending machine and got in line behind two kids. Both were boys, around eight or nine years old. After the first got his drink, the second one - poor kid - got his dollar taken.**

"**Oh, come on," he said, frustrated.**

"**Here, let me." I gave the machine a good smack in the middle and heard as the can hit the bottom. "There ya go."**

"**Cool!" The kid looked at me. "Thanks."**

"**No problem." I took a dollar out of my pocket and inserted it. I pressed the button for an orange soda. The machine didn't give me any problems.**

**The boy leaned against the side of the machine, arms folded across his chest. He had the look of forced casualness. If he were older, I'd probably think he was going to flirt with me.**

"**I'm Ben," he said.**

**I smiled his way. "Alyson. Nice to meet you."**

**I began walking away and he followed me. It was kind of cute. I'd noticed that he had brown eyes and brown spiky hair. The way he carried himself seemed somewhat familiar to me, though I _knew_ I'd never seen the boy before.**

**When I reached the spot on the ground that I wanted I spread the blanket out and took my place on it, sitting Indian-style. Ben sat down beside me.**

**Crazy kid. Didn't his mom ever teach him not to talk to strangers? I could be a kidnapper or something for all he knew.**

"**What're you doing?" I asked kindly.**

"**Sitting beside a pretty girl," he said, straight-faced.**

**I bit my lip to keep from laughing. "Pretty, huh?"**

"**Uh-huh." He smiled sincerely. "I wouldn't be lying if I called you beautiful."**

**I couldn't hold it in anymore. I laughed. Harder than I had in a while. The kid - Ben - was awesome and hilarious.**

"**You're really somethin', you know that?" I shook my head, still laughing slightly.**

"**I know," he said confidently. He seemed pleased that I found him amusing. He was going to be a heartbreaker when he got older.**

**I shook my head again and opened the laptop, turning it on to the main desktop page. I got onto Internet Explorer and checked out the local newspaper for Columbus, Ohio.**

**There were a bunch of articles about the heat wave. There was an article about a secretary going missing and then turned up dead. Then a man - a school teacher dying - had appeared to have had a stroke.**

**Another article talked about a man - an employee at some warehouse - being burned from the inside out. When he'd been found his skin was blackened and cracked apart. This was one of the ones Bobby had mentioned.**

**I shuddered at the thought of how the man had died and tried to stop imagining what it felt like.**

**On a less important note, there was a new school board member: Alex Thompson. He was kind of cute in that overly defined way. Wave black hair, very defined face, perfect white teeth. He looked like the type who hadn't done a hard day's work in his life.**

**The next article was about the other guy Bobby had said had combusted. Same deal; burnt from the inside out. By the time it was over…the poor guy was a crispy critter. I mentally reprimanded myself; it was rude to think of the deceased like that. Insensitive, even.**

"**Whatcha doin'?" Ben asked, scooting closer.**

"**Checking up on current events," I said. "I'm almost done."**

**The next article - which I skimmed then skipped - was about how the football team for the high school broke their winning streak.**

**Finally, I got to the article about Alicia Allen. Mostly, it just reiterated what Bobby had already told us. She was missing, hadn't been found dead, and was last seen with her boyfriend at a bar. Her boyfriend, who was in jail now because he'd tried to rob a convenience store. Idiot.**

**I sighed and shut the Internet off. I didn't know what I was looking for other than the two combusted people.**

"**Wanna play pinball?" I asked, finding the game on the menu list. If he was going to be here anyway…**

"**Sure," he said, excited. I longingly remembered when it was that easy to make me happy.**

"'**Kay. We'll take turns. You can go first."**

**I showed him the controls for the game and then, enthusiastically, he began.**

**Thirty minutes later, Ben had beaten me three times. I didn't let him win; I just sucked at this game. I sucked at computer games, period.**

**It kept him occupied, though, so…whatever.**

* * *

**Dean made it back to the park first and he came over and sat down on the blanket, too.**

"**Hey," he said, making himself comfortable. "What's goin' on?"**

**I shrugged, glancing at Ben. "I think I've found a new boyfriend."**

"**Really? Should I be jealous?" When he realized what he'd said, he cleared his throat the way he always did when things were uncomfortable. "I mean…"**

**I decided to give him a break. "I know what you meant. It's okay." Seeing how he acted around me…I could see why he'd avoided alone time with me when he'd been pushing me away. It was so easy for us to get along, so easy for us to be playful, so easy for him to be himself.**

"**Hey, you were at my party," Ben said, getting a good look at Dean.**

"**You were?" I asked him.**

"**Yeah." Dean almost looked guilty. "Lisa is his mom." He looked at Ben. "I'm Dean."**

**My mouth opened slightly and then closed again. Then once more. I looked at Ben again. He looked about eight or nine…that was how long ago Lisa and Dean had…**

**I looked at Dean, arching an eyebrow, getting my question out without having to speak. Dean shrugged, but I could tell he'd been thinking the same thing. Ben could be his son. There were enough similarities in Ben's personality alone to make it possible.**

"**Did you find anything?" Dean asked, gesturing to the computer Ben was using.**

"**Nothing…unusual." I glanced at Ben, too. "Although, it does seem hot enough in Ohio that spontaneous human combustion isn't out of the question." I said all this lightly for Ben's sake; he didn't need to know we were being serious.**

**Heat wasn't new to me. I'd grown up in Southern California. Some summers were blistering hot. Some summers got so bad that the water supply dried up and had to be rationed. Sometimes it was too hot to even think about leaving your nice, air conditioned home.**

**And as Bobby had said earlier…heat made people crazy, anyway. Tempers would flare, people wouldn't stop at arguing, and they would forget about civilized behavior and resort to caveman mentalities.**

**Needless to say, there were more people going missing in Ohio, but the problem was…which was typical overheated temper behavior and which was because something nasty had gotten them.**

"**So…you two seem to be getting along pretty well," Dean said.**

"**Yeah, he's a sweetie." Ben smiled at me and I smiled back. "He's quite the charmer, actually." Like his dad?**

"**Ben?" A woman's voice came from a little ways away and I looked up to see who I assumed was Lisa. She was pretty, late twenties or early thirties.**

**She came up to us and looked apologetically at us until she looked at Dean. Then she looked at me again.**

"**Sorry. Ben latches onto the nearest pretty girl he sees."**

"**It's okay. He's cute."**

"**Mm. He thinks he is."**

**Dean and I stood up and I reached out a hand to the woman. "I'm Alyson. Dean's…friend."**

**_Friend_. It had been hard to get out. Especially in that context.**

"**Lisa." She grasped my hand. "Ben's mom."**

**She began talking about something, but my attention fell on three kids that were standing about five yards away. They were standing there, staring at us.**

**I realized they were the same ones from earlier. Creepy kids. They weren't smiling, they weren't frowning, their faces held no expressions at all.**

"**Anyway," Lisa began. "Ben and I really need to be going, so…"**

"**Yeah," I said. "Yeah, it was nice meeting you." Really. And it hadn't been awkward at all.**

**Ben stood up, handing me the laptop. "Thanks," he said.**

"**No problem. Se ya around, Ben."**

"**Yeah. See ya." He looked at Dean. "Nice seeing you again, too."**

"**Yeah, you too." Dean patted Ben on the back as he began walking away with Lisa.**

**Once the other two were out of earshot I turned to Dean. "That is _so_ your kid."**

**Dean shook his head. "Lisa says no."**

"**Hm…" I thought Lisa was telling a fib. There was no way the kid belonged to another man. "Dean…Ben is like a mini-you. There's no way you don't share DNA!" Dean didn't say anything. "And there's something seriously wrong with some of the kids in this town."**

"**What?"**

"**Those three over there." I gestured subtly with my head to the three kids. "They've been standing that way since I got here. Haven't moved a muscle."**

"**Wow. That _is_ weird."**

"**Mm-hm."**

**Things got silent then because I didn't know what to say. We hadn't talked about anything but work in so long that to talk about anything else seemed strange.**

"**So…if he is my son…" Dean trailed off.**

**I shrugged. "Then he is." I scoffed. "I was what, _eleven_ when you were with Lisa? It doesn't matter." I lowered my voice. Softened it. "It's not going to change how I feel about you. Nothing you've done yet has."**

**Dean looked away, sighing. "Aly…"**

**I sighed, too. "Dean, look at me." He didn't. "Seriously. Look at me. Right in the eyes. And tell me that you don't love me."**

"**Aly, _don't_ do this." His voice was soft, pleading.**

"**Don't do what? Don't love you?" I sighed again. "I don't know how to not love you." It wasn't like I could just shut it off.**

**Dean looked at me then. "Have you thought about it? What it's gonna be like for you when I'm gone? Rationally, I mean?"**

**I scoffed bitterly. "That's all I _do_ think about, Dean. Yes, I've been rational about it. And _rationally_ I know I love you and you can continue to do whatever stupid stuff you think you have to do, and I will _still_ love you."**

"**Okay, well, what about later? What about when you wanna have a family or go to college or have anything resembling normal?"**

"**Dean…when I look into the future - or at least when I used to - all I see is you." I clenched my fists to keep from reaching out to him. "The only person I wanna have a family with is you. And I don't want normal if you're not here to have it with me."**

"**You don't want that stuff _now_, but one day you will." Dean looked intensely at me. "I won't be here to give that to you. You deserve someone who can."**

"**Dean -" I was frustrated now - "there aren't many people out there who can deal with the kind of stuff we have to deal with. Most people, if they saw a monster, they'd run the other way. So don't stand there and tell me what I _deserve_. I want -"**

**I was cut off by Dean's phone going off. 'Smoke on the Water' filled the distance between us. Before he answered I gave him a look that clearly said this conversation was _not_ over.**

"**Yeah, Sammy, what's up?" A pause. "Evil monster babies?"**

**I quirked an eyebrow, wondering what was up, and he raised a finger at me: he needed a minute.**

"**They're kids. Creepy, stare-at-you-like-you're-lunch kids." Another pause. "Yeah, we'll check into it." Then he flipped his phone shut.**

"**Evil monster babies?" I asked curiously.**

"**Changelings," he said.**

**I looked at the laptop I was holding. "Am I Research-girl again?"**

"**Yup."**

**I sighed dramatically before sitting back down on the blanket. "'Kay. You know where to start?"**

"**Sam said to look up Asian and European mythology."**

"**Okay."**

**I already knew the basics from movies I'd seen in the past. A creature would come into your house and steal your baby and leave a fake baby. Their own baby. A twisted version of a human baby. Depending on the movie, that could be a good thing.**

**In reality, that was a bad thing. People were dying because of it.**

**I learned from the web that the creature could be a whole bunch of different things. A selkie - something that looked like a seal, but could shed their skin and appear human - a fairy - not likely - an elf, or a troll. Trolls were most common. And I didn't think elves or fairies existed. Though I was probably wrong.**

**The reason varied for why the children were swapped. The most common was that some fairy folk derived their magic from demons and had to pay a debt by sacrificing a child. They would switch _their_ child with a human baby; _their_ child would be raised by humans.**

**Some stories said the humans would be treated as slaves. Some creatures wanted to experience the love of a human child. Some thought humans would raise their children better. Some liked the taste of human children…I hoped that wasn't the case, here.**

"**Okay, so…changelings are always hungry," I said, summarizing the sites as I read from them. "And they have horrible tempers. The lore says they're downright unpleasant."**

**I x-ed out of one site and went to another.**

"**Are you sure they're changelings? All the lore says their babies, not, ya know, older kids."**

"**Not sure, but Sam wanted to check it out anyway."**

"**Hm."**

**Ten minutes later, Sam came back and we got into the car.**

"**So, there's a kid in every house, in each of the victims' houses. What did you guys find out?"**

"**Changelings are fake babies? Supposedly, a changeling parent will snatch a kid, switch it with its own. I'm guessing the changeling can imitate the child it looks like," I said. "Except that they have tempers."**

"**Hm." Sam nodded. "There were marks on the windowsill at one of the kids' houses. Looked to me like blood."**

"**So," Dean said, starting the car, "the changeling grabs the kid, assumes its form, and joins the happy fam, just for kicks?"**

**I shrugged. "I don't know. It doesn't say what the kids want. And none of the lore is the same except for the switched kids, so really, we don't know what the parent wants either."**

"**Oh, and one of the mom's had bruises on her neck. Odd shaped teeth marks."**

"**Changelings are biting them? Feeding off of them someway?" Dean suggested.**

"**Looks like," Sam agreed. "I'll call Bobby when we get back to the motel."**

* * *

**Back at the motel, Sam did as he said he was going to do, and we got information from Bobby.**

**Changelings _did_ feed on the moms. Synovial fluid. They had sucker mouths and they could drain the mothers for a few weeks before the women would die. Anybody who got in the way of the changeling's food source ended up dead. Hence the dad's deaths.**

**Fire was the only way to kill them.**

"**Great," Dean muttered. "Well, we'll just bust in, drag the kids out, torch them on the front lawn, that'll play great with the neighbors." He shook his head and rolled his eyes. "What about the real ones? What happens to them?"**

**Bobby, who was still on the line, said, "The changeling mom hides them somewhere."**

"**We need to find them," I said. Assuming the kids _were_ alive…they would be so scared. But if they were alive that would mean the changeling mom needed them for something. I hoped it wasn't for food.**

"**A'right. Thanks, Bobby," Sam said. "We'll see ya soon."**

"**Uh-huh." Click.**

"**Okay, so, fire's what kills this thing," Dean said. "I'm thinkin' blowtorch."**

"**_I'm_ thinkin' we should find out where this thing is before we make something to kill it with," Sam said.**

"**Well, if you've got a match or a lighter, I'm sure I can produce the flames for you," I said.**

**Dean glanced at me. "You sure? You know what using your abilities does to you."**

**I shrugged. "I can handle it. Besides, now we can just focus on finding the thing."**

"**A'right, well, I'll check the city archives," Sam said. "And you two should stay here and just…talk."**

"**Sam…" Dean warned, glaring. "What're you doing?"**

"**What you won't," Sam answered.**

"**Hey," I said, feigning nonchalance. "Get a map of the sewer system, too. The kids might be holed up underground somewhere."**

"**Yeah, good idea." Sam smiled at us both. "Have a good talk." He looked meaningfully at Dean, before grabbing the car keys and walking out the door.**

**As soon as Sam left things got awkward. I sat on the edge of one bed, Dean sat on the other.**

"**Dean…" I sighed. "I heard you and Sam talking earlier. I knew why you're pushing me away. And it's stupid." And it was killing me.**

"**Stupid?" Dean laughed bitterly. "No, it's smart."**

"**No, it's not." I stood up and began pacing. "It's completely mental. If you're gonna…I think I should be spending as much time with you as possible."**

"**That's the worst thing you can do. It'll just make it harder for you when -"**

"**Yes, but that's my decision to make."**

**Dean clenched his jaw and shook his head, standing up. He began walking toward the door, but I wasn't going to let him off that easily.**

"**Don't leave," I said, pleading. Sadness softened my voice. "Please."**

**I was begging him to stay, and I could tell when he turned my way that he _wanted_ to stay. He didn't want to hurt me by leaving.**

**There were tears in his eyes and I couldn't breathe for a minute. The part of me that loved him more than anything in the world longed to comfort him.**

"**Dean, stay."**

**I stepped forward and now he was close to me, trapped between me and the door. He was so close I could _smell_ him, the scent that was Dean. Leather and gunpowder, and then the other part that was uniquely Dean.**

"**Please," I whispered, touching his chest through his shirt. "Please stay."**

**Something flashed in Dean's eyes and he touched my cheek with his warm fingers. Warm because I'd felt like I'd been freezing to death since the last time he'd touched me.**

**My gaze fell to his lips before I could catch myself. Then I was in his arms and his lips were on mine. They were firm and demanding, like maybe he thought I would change my mind about wanting him to stay.**

**My fingers tangled in his hair to erase that fear. No matter what he'd done, no matter what was _going_ to happen, I still loved him. I still wanted him. That's why it was so hard for me.**

**It would be easier if he didn't make me react to him this way, if he didn't make me feel these things. It would be easier if I could just hate him. But I couldn't. Dean just being who he was - flaws and all - made it so I couldn't hate him. He was the most beautiful person I'd ever known. And his soul was even more beautiful, which was probably why hell wanted it so badly. They wanted to tarnish a good soul that should never be in hell in the first place.**

**I felt Dean's cock through the denim of his jeans. He was full and hard. I moved against him and he moaned in defeat. For the first time, I was grateful that a man's brain seemed to be connected directly to the lower part of his anatomy.**

**Dean's hands went to my butt, and he lifted me up and turned us around, pressing me against the door. His hips pressed into mine when I wrapped my legs around him. My grip was viselike.**

**I grabbed a handful of his shirt and lifted it over his head. Then he did the same with mine. With our kiss broken, I took in his face. Or, well…his lips. They were swollen from the ferocity of our kiss.**

**His mouth fell to my shoulder and he bit down a little harder than was strictly necessary. It made the throbbing between my thighs increase.**

**He slid his hand to my breasts and teased me through the material of my bra. I arched against him before he set me down so we could remove the rest of our clothing. I barely had time to register that we were both naked before he lifted me again. He slid into me easily as my legs wrapped around his waist. My body was ready, had never been more ready, and I clenched around him.**

**The door behind me was freezing when I compared it to Dean's hot body thrusting into me. I threw my arms around him to support myself as I raised my hips to grind against him.**

**I felt so…alive, in this moment. I knew that I needed this. Needed him like I needed oxygen to breathe. No one else could do to me what Dean could. No one else could give me what Dean did everyday - when he wasn't pushing me away, anyway.**

**Dean stared into my eyes as he shoved inside of me. Shoved hard. If I were a normal person I'd probably bruise from the force.**

**Were we having angry sex? Was he mad that I'd made him lose control? Made him do _this_? Made him pull me close instead of pushing me away?**

**Dean had never been rough with me, not like he was now. But I didn't care. When my back slammed into the door, I didn't care. Though I was vaguely worried that someone would complain about the noise. When Dean shoved in so hard I was sure I felt myself tear just a little, _I didn't care_. Because he was here and touching me and _inside me_.**

**Besides, the pain exploded into please as my orgasm tore through me. My fingernails ripped into the back of Dean's neck as I pulsed with pleasure.**

**Dean's body tensed with his own release and warmth filled me as he thrust erratically through it.**

"**God," he whispered against my neck. "God, _Aly_."**

**My laugh sounded hysterical to my ears. My name coming from Dean's lips was more reverent than when he said 'God'. My name on his lips sounded like a prayer. I wished it would save him, that I could.**

**I was vaguely aware of him slipping out of me. He carried me over to the bed, where he gently laid me down.**

"**Did I hurt you?" he asked urgently, like he just realized how rough he'd been.**

**His hand found his way to my face and he wiped away tears I hadn't known were there.**

"**I'm fine. I'm okay." Although I felt a sob coming on. I was sure he was going to leave still.**

**Dean's hand wandered down to where I was still tingling and his fingers became tinged with pink. His jaw clenched.**

"**You're not okay. You're bleeding. Why didn't you tell me I was being too rough?" His tone became stern. "What if I had seriously hurt you?"**

"**You didn't," I said. "Even if you had…I would've healed."**

"**That's not the point," he said, voice strained and harsh. "You don't deserve to be treated that way. Why didn't you stop me?"**

"**I don't know, I was okay with it." It wasn't like he had _wanted_ to hurt me. He'd done it inadvertently. I bit my lip. "A-are you gonna leave now?"**

**Dean looked at me and I could see he was thinking it through. Would it be best to just get dressed and leave or would he just end up hurting me further? He knew I hated being alone after doing…_that_. And that helped him make his decision. He surprised me by lying beside me and wrapping his arms around me tightly.**

**I tried to relax, but it was hard. I didn't know if this would be the last time he'd allow this to happen, and at the same time I prayed it wouldn't be.**

* * *

Yeah, so...I don't know why but the scene between Aly and Ben kept popping in my head, so that's what I wrote. And then the scene at the end kept popping up too, so there it is. Enjoy. :)


	7. The Kids Are All Right Pt Three

**The Kids Are All Right  
Part Three**

**Sam came back an hour after Dean and I got dressed. I'd felt sorta bad for getting Dean worked up, but at least I'd gotten some sort of reaction from him.**

**Sam had gotten a map of the sewers like I'd suggested and also a layout of the houses in Morning Hill Community. He'd circled and x-ed the houses that had a changeling child in them.**

"**That probably means the changeling mom is somewhere in the middle, right?" I asked. "Holed up underground or maybe in one of the unfinished houses?"**

"**Yeah, probably," Dean said, and then he looked like something new had occurred to him. "Hey, is any kid in the neighborhood vulnerable?"**

**Sam shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."**

**Dean caught my gaze. "We've gotta make a stop." _Ben_. "I wanna check on someone."**

"**Well, Dean, if the real kids are still alive, we don't have time to -"**

"**We have to," I said. "Now, come on, we'll explain on the way."**

**Once in the car, Dean explained the whole Ben situation. Sam didn't seem all that surprised, though he did understand why Dean wanted to check on Ben now.**

**Once at Lisa's house, Sam and I waited in the car while Dean went to check on Ben.**

"**So, you and Dean…" Sam trailed off, waiting for my answer.**

"**I dunno," I muttered. "It's…complicated."**

"**He loves you," Sam said. "He thinks he's doin' the right thing."**

"**I know. Pushing me away for my own good and all."**

**I saw Dean jogging back toward the car and as he reached us, he said, "It took Ben. He's changed."**

"**What?" Sam asked. "Are you sure?"**

"**Yeah, I'm sure. I checked his windowsill."**

"**Blood?"**

"**I don't think it is blood. And I think I know where the kids are." He started the car. "There's an unfinished house near the edge of town."**

"**The one with the red dirt?" I asked, remembering it from earlier. The blood was red dirt?**

"**Uh-huh."**

**We took off, squealing tires. We probably left behind black marks. When we arrived at the unfinished house we got out of the car.**

"**A'right, you guys take the front. I'll go around." Dean looked at us. "Remember, getting the kids out is our first priority."**

**Sam and I nodded, though I wasn't really worried about the kids. I was sure they were scared, of course, but I was also sure they were alive.**

**As soon as Sam and I went inside we headed for the stairs. The front had nothing, and Dean would check the back. Sam had a flashlight, so I followed him. Something felt off - and close - so I grabbed Sam's arm.**

"**Get ready," I whispered, and Sam's hand when to his pocket. He needed his lighter.**

"**What do you think you're going?" A woman's voice came from behind us.**

**We turned around and saw an older red-head. Where the hell had she come from? She'd come from out of nowhere.**

"**This is private property. I'm calling the police."**

**Sam looked at me. He wanted to be sure this was the thing before we torched her. I nodded. He lit the lighter and my internal switch flipped on. Energy flowed from me to the fire and it expanded, flowing toward the woman in a jet stream of flames. It would've worked, but the thing disappeared.**

**Sam and I began walking - well, running - at the same time. We had to get to Dean; if he'd been lucky, maybe he'd found the kids. As we reached the bottom of the stairs, I heard glass shattering and then Dean's voice telling the kids to hurry up. Then there was an ear-piercing scream.**

**We ran faster and made it to Dean, and the kids were there. Along with the changeling mother. I noticed Ben was helping the other kids out a window.**

**I pushed the mother out of the way - mentally - because she was getting ready to grab Dean, and she slammed into a board. She went crashing through it.**

**The mother didn't stay down for long, but I used my strength to hold her in place.**

"**Sam, fire. _Now_." Holding the thing there was draining me fast.**

**When Sam lit the lighter for the second time, I had a harder time drawing a flame out. It was hard to focus my energy on more than one thing at a time. But with a concentrated effort, I made it happen. The changeling mother screamed as the fire hit her and then she went poof. I wished all creatures cleaned up after themselves like that.**

**Then I fell to my knees. Plus side? I didn't pass out from overtaxing myself. It was like my inner strength got stronger and stronger the more I used it. Maybe it was like a muscle in that way.**

**Sam helped me up, though I didn't really need it. It was a nice gesture, anyway. I saw Dean helping Ben, who was halfway out the shattered window. Dean glanced at me to make sure I was okay, but then he focused on Ben again.**

"**You okay?" Sam asked.**

"**Yup. Getting easier all the time." It was true, and a little scary. And a little _not_, which was also scary.**

**Sam, Dean, and I noticed a woman - the woman the mother changeling had been impersonating - locked in a cage. I assumed the kids had been locked in another one.**

"**The kids," Dean said. "You take care of her, I'm gonna go check on the kids."**

**Sam and I nodded, and Dean walked away. I was sure he was worried about Ben.**

**Sam broke the lock and then opened the cage door. The woman was unconscious and had bruises all over her body. I kneeled beside her and checked her over for serious injuries, but she had none. The most serious was a bruise near her temple, which I healed. After the head wound faded the woman slowly awakened. At first she didn't seem to know where she was. Then she flipped out a little - not that I blamed her. If she remembered anything, she was going to need a lifetime of therapy.**

"**Hey, hey, we're not gonna hurt you," Sam said soothingly. "We're here to help you."**

**The woman's strength ebbed quickly, and she stopped moving at all. She became almost catatonic; her eyes were open but she wasn't taking anything in.**

"**We've gotta get her to a hospital," I said. "If she's going into shock, _I_ can't help her."**

"**Yeah." Sam gently picked the woman up and carried her outside. I followed him out and saw Dean checking the kids over, checking their necks.**

**Hoping they hadn't been bitten, I hurried over to them. But three of them _had_ been. There were bite marks on the back of their necks near their hairlines. The changeling mother had obviously been feeding off of them.**

**Ben, however, was mark-less.**

"**Dean, you should call Lisa, tell her we have Ben."**

"**Yeah, and what if the other one is still there?"**

**I shrugged. "Either way, you've got some explaining to do."**

"**That's gonna go well," he muttered.**

**Again, I shrugged. I looked at Sam now, who was…hotwiring a car. We were splitting up, it seemed. Sam was taking the woman to the hospital, Dean and I were taking the kids home.**

* * *

**After loading the kids - there were five - in the car, we began the chore of taking them home. The first three were easy enough. We just slipped them in the way the changeling mom had taken them out: through their bedroom window.**

**One, Katie, her mom was crying frantically outside on the porch and when Katie got out she ran to her mother's waiting arms.**

"**Katie!"**

"**Mommy!"**

**Diana didn't ask any questions. She was just thankful to have her daughter back. Dean knew her - sorta - because Diana and Katie had been at Ben's party.**

**Lisa, however, was a different story. After making sure Ben was okay, she went into this story about how something that looked like Ben had burst into flames in front of her. She wanted to know what had happened.**

"**I'll explain everything if you want me to, but trust me, you probably don't. The important thing is Ben's safe." Dean ruffled Ben's hair and Ben smiled slightly.**

"**Thank you," Lisa said, hugging Dean. "Thank you."**

**I decided then I didn't want to intrude on the conversation Dean and Lisa needed to have. I would go back to the motel. I needed sleep anyway.**

"**Dean, I'm gonna go back to the motel. I'll see you later."**

**I kneeled down and gave Ben a soft kiss on the cheek. He smiled and maybe even blushed a little.**

"**Thanks," he said, touching the spot on his cheek.**

"**Hey, you earned it, kiddo. You were a real hero out there."**

**He smiled again. Then he hugged me. I returned the gesture.**

**After releasing Ben, I stood up and grabbed Dean's hand. "I'll see you back at the motel, okay?"**

**He was resourceful; he'd find his own way back.**

* * *

**Back at the motel room, I tried to go to sleep, but Sam called. He wanted to know where I was and then he said he wouldn't be back for a while. He needed to check something.**

**Stifling a yawn I muttered, "Uh-huh. See ya later." Then I hung up. Rude, maybe, but I was tired.**

**My phone rang again and I groaned. "Sam, seriously -"**

"**This isn't Sam." It was Bobby. That's what I got for not looking at the ID screen before answering.**

"**Oh. Sorry, Bobby." I rubbed a hand over my face to wake myself up. "What's up?"**

"**Not much. Was wonderin' if you guys were done with the changeling case."**

"**Yeah. Changeling mother and changeling kids…big check in the dead column."**

"**That's good. Do you know a girl named Ruby?"**

**I shot upright on the bed. What had Ruby wanted with Bobby? And 'girl' was a pretty loose term for what Ruby was. "Yeah, why?"**

"**She showed up at my door at my motel, said she knew you. I was just making sure. She told me I shouldn't be workin' alone on this one. That all the signs point to…"**

"**To what?" What had Ruby told him? And…had she been telling the truth?**

"**She thinks that someone here in town is trying to raise something. A demon, or a spirit, maybe."**

**I slumped my shoulders - we didn't need to deal with a demon-raising. I wondered which idiots were planning to do that, and if Ruby was in on it. She was a demon, after all. So…maybe.**

"**Is that why all the people have turned up missing? Ritual sacrifice, maybe?" Raising a demon seemed like the type of thing that called for blood, right?**

"**Maybe. I'm not sure. I'm not sure you can trust, Ruby, either. She seems kind of shady."**

**I let out a sharp breath of laughter. He had no idea. Shady…saying Ruby was _kind of_ shady was like saying Lex Luthor was _kind of_ evil.**

"**Yeah, good, _don't_ trust her." I shook my head a little. "Look, Dean's tying up a few loose ends, but we'll be there soon, okay?" As an afterthought I added, "And be careful."**

**After I hung up, I called Sam back and asked for Ruby's number. He was curious as to _why_ I wanted her number, but I told him it didn't matter. Which, roughly translated, meant I wanted him to mind his own business.**

**Within three seconds of calling Ruby she was knocking at the door. I knew it was her because I could feel her. When I let her in I immediately started in on her going to see Bobby.**

"**Why would you do that? Who said you _could_?"**

"**I don't answer to you," Ruby said, not unkindly. "I go where I want, and I do what I want."**

"**Beg to differ," I seethed. I had a thing against a demon sharing my people, I guess. "From now on I _own_ you. I don't want to hear about you going near anyone I care about unless I'm there. Understood? If you need to pass on a message, you'll come to me first, okay?"**

**Ruby shook her head. "That's not fair. I can't do my job if you put me on a leash."**

"**Yeah, and what job is that, exactly? You haven't been too clear on that."**

"**I've told you, I wanna help you."**

"**Why?" I'd asked her before, but she'd never really given me a good answer.**

"**I have my reasons."**

**I clenched my teeth. "Fine. How do you know about what's happening in Ohio? Are you the one doing it?" She looked wounded. "Don't give me that look. You're a demon, you have black eyes." Need I say more?**

"**Don't be such a racist," Ruby snapped. "I'm here because I wanna help you. And I can, _if_ you trust me."**

**I laughed at that openly. I bit the inside of my cheek to calm down. "I'm sorry, I'm just…_me_ trust _you_? Let's stop and marvel at that concept, shall we?"**

"**What's wrong with it?"**

**I stepped toward her casually. "At the end of the day, you're just another demon." A demon that said she could help Dean, but still… "I don't like you, and I sure as hell don't trust you." I crossed my arms over my chest. "You want me to think you're for real? You're gonna have to prove it. And as of now, you haven't done _anything_ to make me wanna take your side."**

"**How?" She acted like she really wanted to know. "How do I prove it?"**

"**I don't know. But if it happens, I'll let you know. In the meantime…if anything _at all_ were to happen to anyone I care about, and I thought you were somehow responsible for it…_nothing_ in the world would save you from me." I glared at her to let her know I was serious. "Are we clear?"**

"**As glass," she answered. She looked a little scared, which was good. She knew I meant what I said, and we had an understanding.**

"**Okay…now, what do you want with Sam?" It hadn't gone unnoticed by me that she'd said she was interested in him. "I mean, you seem to know his life story. How?"**

**She shrugged. "Like I said before: I'm a good hunter. And demons talk."**

"**What do you know about his mom's friends?" She mentioned something about it, but had never been specific.**

"**I know that your mom was one of them, and now she's dead." Ruby paused, and then… "All of her friends are."**

"**Courtesy of Yellow-Eyes?"**

"**Yup."**

"**How do _you_ know all this?" That was a reasonable question, right?**

"**Demons talk," she said again.**

"**Oh, so your source is reliable then," I muttered sarcastically. "Why go to all the trouble? Why kill all Mary's friends?"**

"**I don't know." I glared and she smirked. "Really. I don't. All I know is it's about Sam. It's _all_ about Sam. What happened to his mom, what happened to her friends - they're trying to cover up what he did to Sam."**

"**And you don't know what happened to him?"**

"**No." She looked away and sighed. "Look, you're boyfriend'll be here any minute. I've gotta go."**

"**How do you know that? Have you been watching _him_, too?"**

**She shook her head. "No, but…his soul. I can feel it."**

"**What?"**

"**Every human, every _soul, _is different. They're each unique. His is very…bright. Like yours…and Sam's. Some are so strong you can smell them, if you're a demon. That's how we know who the good people are." She paused again, this time considering something. "I don't really remember what it's like to have a soul."**

"**So, you don't have a soul, but you wanna help us?" Could someone - or something - be good without a soul?**

"**That about sums it up." Thoughtful again. "What's it like, having a soul?"**

"**Hard," I said quickly. "Painful. Not fun. You can't do anything bad without feeling guilty about it later." I'd take pain and suffering over not having a conscience any day of the week, though.**

* * *

**It wasn't long after Ruby left that Dean came back.**

"**Hey," I said softly.**

"**Hey." He sat down on the bed and I sat beside him, remembering what exactly had happened on the bed earlier. "Look, we need to talk. Okay?"**

**This couldn't be good.**

"**Um…okay…" I replied hesitantly.**

"**Look, you know I love you, right?"**

**I swallowed against the panic I felt bubbling up, but I was sure I knew what was coming.**

"**Yeah," I said quietly, looking at the bed sheet.**

**He grabbed my hand and squeezed. "Then you know how much it _kills_ me to say this, but what happened here…_shouldn't_ have happened. And it can't happen again."**

"**Dean -" I began, but he interrupted.**

"**No, listen," he said softly. "Please."**

**I nodded stiffly. I'd listen to what he had to say; that didn't mean I'd listen-listen.**

"**I'm not gonna push you away anymore, but I can't be with you either. Because…the more I think about you, and your future, the more I think this - us being together - isn't fair to you."**

"**I don't care," I said, my throat tightening, tears stinging my eyes. "I love you. I wanna be with you as long as you're here."**

**Dean shook his head slowly. "No, Aly." Tears fell over onto my cheeks and I closed my eyes. My lower lip trembled. Dean wiped the wetness away with his thumbs, cupping my face. "I love you, but I can't. I can be here for you, but not like that."**

**I opened my eyes again. His image was blurry. "What am I supposed to do without you?"**

"**You could get out, have a semi-normal existence." I could tell this was just a suggestion and he didn't really want me going anywhere, but in a weird way…he did, too.**

**I shook my head almost frantically. "No. I'll never be normal. I'll never be able to have a normal life. I chose to be a hunter and I can't un-choose it. It's not something I can just walk away from, Dean."**

"**I know," he said, voice soft. "Which is why I think you should stay with Bobby when we get done helping him on this case." I glared through my tears. "Or…I'm not saying you have to, it's your decision, but to make it easier…you might consider it."**

"**My decision is the same as it was before. I'm not leaving." I was planning on being annoyingly persistent. He'd either have to give in or leave me on the side of the road.**

* * *

**I hadn't completely gotten myself together when Sam got back, but I could tell something was wrong with him.**

"**What is it?" I asked.**

"**Ruby was right."**

"**Who the hell is Ruby?" Dean asked, and that's when I remembered he'd never met her.**

"**She's the blond with the demon-killing knife," I explained. "What was she right about?"**

"**Mom," Sam said. "She told me to look into Mom's old friends, so I did, just in case."**

"**And?" I asked, knowing the answer, feeling Dean stiffen beside me.**

"**And…they're dead. All of them. All Mom's friends - her doctor, her uncle. Everyone who knew her, systematically wiped off the map one at a time. Someone went through a hell of a lot of a trouble trying to cover their tracks."**

"**How did this Ruby chick know that?" Dean asked, voice strained.**

**Sam shrugged. "She's been following us. She said she was a hunter."**

**I looked guiltily at the floor and began fidgetting.**

"**That doesn't explain how she knows more about my own family than I do." Sam looked…perturbed. "I wish I knew who she was."**

"**I know who she is," I said softly, looking up from the floor. "I met her back in Lincoln. She showed up while you were diggin' ditches."**

"**You never told us that," Dean said. "Why didn't you tell us that?"**

**I looked at him in disbelief. "_You_ weren't talking to me. _Why_ would I tell you?" Dean had the dignity to look guilty. I stood up and paced the room. "Anyway, she's…she's a demon." I could practically feel the tension begin to fill the room.**

"**You mean she _was_ a demon, right?" Dean asked. "You took care of her."**

**I bit my lip nervously. "Not exactly. She said she's here to…help us."**

"**And you believed her?" Dean scoffed.**

**I turned around, glaring. "No, I didn't. I'm not stupid. She's a demon. But she told me she could help save _you_."**

**Dean shook his head. "Well, she's lying. You've gotta know that."**

"**She probably is," I agreed. "But I have to be sure first."**

"**No, you need to get rid of her," Dean argued. "She's gotta have a hidden agenda, a reason for coming to you first. Think about it: a demon seeks _you_ out. You, a wicked-powerful girl who could take her out in the time it takes to blink. Why would she take that risk if she wasn't gonna get something in return?"**

"**Dean…" Sam was going to put his two cents in, it seemed. "If she can save you…" I was glad he was going to be on my side on this. Even though he seemed shocked about Ruby's identity.**

"**No," Dean seethed. "No, not you, too."**

"**Look," I glanced at them both. "Look, if she _does_ have something planned, I pretty much ruined any ideas she had. I told her if I heard of her coming near anyone I care about I'll take her out in an instant. I don't want her to be there if I'm not."**

**Dean was shaking his head again. "I don't like it. Just for the record, I'm not an board with this."**

"**You don't have to like it," I said softly. "If we're not together anymore, then you have no say-so in what I do. I don't have to talk over my decisions with you. I can do what I want.**

**Dean couldn't argue with that. It was true. But I could tell he wasn't happy with it, and that he was hurt because I'd kept something - an important something - from him.**

"**Anyway, we should hurry. Bobby called. He said he thinks a demon is…well, he thinks someone's trying to raise a demon."**

"**Which one?" Sam asked curiously.**

**I shrugged. "I don't know. Didn't say."**

* * *

**In the car, I stared blankly out the window. I had my head propped up against the door, a jacket underneath to protect my noggin when Dean would hit a bump, which he didn't do very often, unless he couldn't avoid it.**

**I swallowed back tears. My throat was tight and I felt cold inside. Dean had meant what he'd said; he wouldn't be with me anymore. He loved me, but he thought he was doing what was best for me by not being with me.**

**A tear formed in my eye and I blinked it away. I remained silent and still, staring blankly out the window.**

* * *

**We pulled off of an exit to go to a gas station about an hour into the drive and I followed Dean in. I needed something to drink. Preferably water. My throat was still burning with suppressed sobs, and I knew if I were to try to speak, my voice would sound all wrong.**

**After paying for my drink, I waited for Dean and we went back out to the car. We didn't talk and we didn't look at each other.**

**I wasn't mad at him because I knew he thought he was doing the right thing. And, truth be told…he was right. It _would_ be harder when he was actually gone if we remained as close as we could be, as close as we had been. But like I told him: I didn't care. If it meant I could be with him now, I'd gladly take the pain that came after. I would have to make Dean see that.**

**_Somehow_.**

* * *

This chapter was hard for me to write because of the whole Dean/Aly thing. But I love the scene between Ruby and Aly. I didn't think they would but, those two have so much chemistry on paper I can't help but write them together sometimes. LOL Enjoy, and as always...let me know what you think. :)


	8. Hot as Hell Pt One

**Okay, so I know it's taken longer for me to update this time, but I've had serious drama. My mom and dad had to move because their house got foreclosed on because my dad is a lazy bum (but that's a story for another time) but anyway, I've been helping move and getting things in order and stuff. So...yeah. And they've been staying with me for the week and my dad and I don't get along very well, so I haven't really felt like writing. He kinda sucks the life out of the room when he's around, so...yeah. Anyway, enjoy. :)**

**Hot as Hell  
Part One**

**When we arrived in Columbus, Ohio, we understood why Bobby was concerned about the heat. It was blistering and probably hot enough to make the rubber on the car tires melt. The overheated air was enough to take your breath away, and I just wanted to get inside an air-conditioned room. Fast.**

**When we reached the motel Bobby was staying, we got straight to work. According to Bobby, thirteen people had disappeared this week alone.**

"**And that's assuming that's everyone. But I'm not sure," Bobby said. "There could be more. Homeless or people like that. People no one will miss."**

"**That makes sense," I said. "Have you figured out why they're going missing? I mean, is it because of the raising thing?"**

"**Probably," Bobby said. "I'm not sure yet, but that's the best bet."**

**I looked around and noticed this was the type of room that had a stove and a microwave and a small refrigerator. This was obviously a case that Bobby thought was going to take a while - he'd taken the time to get long-staying accommodations.**

**I didn't, however, see any food. Apparently, Bobby hadn't been grocery shopping.**

"**What have you been living on?" I asked. "You don't have any food here."**

"**Take out, mostly," Bobby said. "That's not what's important here."**

"**Right," I said, getting back to business. "Missing people. Lots of 'em."**

"**Right, now…I'm not sure what they're raising or who's doing the raising, but if the people are sacrifices, they may be alive. We've gotta find them."**

"**Agreed," Dean said. "Where do we start?"**

"**I wanna say the school board," Bobby said. "Most of the people who're missing are teenagers - high school or college age."**

"**That Alex guy, he's new at the school board…maybe he has something to do with it," I suggested.**

**Bobby nodded. "I did a background check on him. Graduated from high school with honors, same with college. Lived here growin' up, moved away for college, came back when he got the job."**

"**Oh. Have you talked to him?"**

"**I have an appointment with him tomorrow."**

"**Oh." I nodded. "Well, then _today_ I'm gonna go shopping. I need food." I looked at Dean. "Can I have the keys? It's too hot to walk."**

**Dean dug his keys out of his jeans and tossed them to me. I had a feeling that he'd do anything I asked if it would give me some semblance of happiness. Anything but be with me, anyway. I was sure, though, that if I wanted to go take a tour of Europe…Dean would find a way to make it happen.**

**As it was, I just wanted to get away for an hour or two, so after I caught the keys, I left. I began to sweat as soon as I stepped outside. I saw heat waves coming off the asphalt.**

**I felt sort of depressed as I got in the front seat of the car and started her up. Things had changed so much. I'd been a perfectly normal girl, growing up. I'd had friends, I'd taken school pictures, I'd lived in the world. Then my mom had died and I'd come on the road with Sam and Dean. They'd become my new family, in a way.**

**I'd fallen in love with Dean, the beautiful man who couldn't even see his own worth, the man I knew was the one, and now…I couldn't be with him.**

**I shivered. Even in all this heat, I felt like I was drowning in icy water.**

**Before I put the car in drive I felt Ruby's presence. She appeared outside and got in the passenger seat.**

"**Ruby. Now really isn't the time or place." Dean would have a fit if he knew she was in his car. "Get out."**

"**I'm here to give you something if you'd just be patient."**

**I sighed _im_patiently just to spite her. "What?"**

"**Here." She handed me a piece of paper with writing on it. "Meet me at this address."**

"**Why?"**

"**Just do it," she snapped and disappeared from the car.**

**I glanced at the paper. I didn't recognize the address but that didn't mean anything. I wasn't familiar with the area.**

**I decided I would find the place alone; neither Sam nor Dean would agree to go to the address Ruby had given me because of the fact she was a demon.**

**Not to mention it could be a trap, and if it _was_ it would be best to be alone so no one else would get hurt.**

**I didn't have a death wish. My reasons for going alone were practical. I didn't want them hurt. It didn't even cross my mind that if I got hurt…it would affect them the same way it would me if they got hurt.**

* * *

**When I arrived at the address, I was immediately alerted to the fact that Ruby was nowhere in sight, but I could feel her; maybe she was inside.**

**The address had led me to an old dilapidated building - looked like an old warehouse and it was in the bad part of town. There were a few kids - they weren't really kids, they were around my age - who looked like they were dealing drugs standing on the corner. A girl was leaning up against a streetlight; a runaway, maybe. The type that had to struggle on a daily basis just to stay alive.**

**Poor girl - and she was only about fifteen, maybe younger.**

**As I got out of the car I sent a silent prayer up stating that I didn't want anyone to steal Dean's car. This was exactly the type of neighborhood where cars would go missing.**

**Making sure the windows were rolled up and the doors were locked I went toward the entrance of the warehouse. I walked by another group of teenagers - a group of boys with a small radio. As I passed by the pack, one of them let out a whistle and I felt as someone placed a firm smack on my behind.**

**I froze and gritted my teeth. That was so disrespectful.**

"**How much for a lap dance, girl?" one of the guys said.**

**I fought against the urge to turn around. I wanted to break the guy's wrist that had done it, but I ignored him. It went against my instincts to ignore him, but I did. I walked away.**

"**Hey, don't be like that," the same guy said.**

**I ignored him again and went to the front door of the warehouse. I suddenly wondered if I didn't make a mistake coming here. Ruby was a demon, and if this was a trap, it would surprise me.**

**I walked in, following the feeling that was Ruby through the building. That's when I heard the scream. It was male, I could tell that much. It was loud and frantic, as well.**

**It took me a few seconds to decide where exactly the scream had come from and then I took off down a hallway and then up a set of stairs. I took in my surroundings when I reached the top.**

**The walls were a stale gray. The stairs had led to a huge room. There were papers on the floor; there were dust particles floating in the air, seen because of the sunlight beaming in through the few windows in the room. It looked like it has been an office space.**

**More importantly, however, was the fight going on. Two women were beating on a guy; two other guys were running up another flight of stairs across the room - the length of the room seemed to be at least a hundred feet; two more people were fighting.**

**My weirdar zeroed in on Ruby. She was one of the one's that were fighting. I hesitated, not knowing which side to join. Then I moved past Ruby's fight and grabbed one of the girl's beating up the guy. I kicked the other one behind the knees, sending her, well, to her knees.**

**I looked at the one I was holding onto and noticed she had blue glowing eyes. What the hell was this thing? And why couldn't I feel it? It looked human other than the eyes.**

**I glanced at the other woman that had been beating the guy up. She was blue-eyed, too. I snapped both the things necks with just a thought, and then did the same with the one Ruby was fighting. I privately though she was doing just find and didn't need my help. She'd been kicking ass.**

"**Get the other ones," Ruby said. "They have a girl - a teenager - they're gonna kill her!"**

**I hadn't seen a teenager with the two that had been going up the stairs. I'd only seen the two.**

"**Fine," I said, thinking maybe I could've missed something. "Get the guy out of here."**

**Then something caught my eye. There was smoke coming from the stairway the two guys had been running up. Were they…burning the poor girl?**

**When I reached the top of the stairs, I saw Ruby had been right. There was a girl; she was cowering in a ring of fire. _Were_ they burning her?**

**The two guys I'd seen running up the stairs were…trying to get to the girl, but the fire kept them from her. It was protecting her.**

"**Hey," I said, gaining their attention - the two guys were blue-eyed, too. I snapped their necks fast.**

**After that, I creeped toward the girl, amazed by how the fire didn't spread. It stayed in a perfect circle. As I moved closer, I noticed the girl was shivering and crying. She had a bruise on her cheek and a cut on her lip. Her hair was blond and slightly wavy, it reached halfway down her back. Her face was heart shaped and pointed.**

"**Be careful," Ruby said, appearing behind me. "She's a fire starter."**

"**A fire starter?"**

"**She was born that way," Ruby explained. "She can't control it yet."**

**I looked at the circle of fire pointedly. "I'd say she's controlling it pretty well."**

**I moved closer to the flames and used my own abilities to push the flames down. It shocked the girl out her…shock.**

**She stared at me suspiciously. "Who are you? How did you do that?"**

"**My name's Alyson. What's yours?"**

"**Rachel," she said hesitantly. "Are you friend or foe?"**

"**Friend. Definitely friend." I stepped closer. "If I help you up, you're not gonna burn me to death, are you?"**

"**No," she said softly. The low flames vanished almost like there was no oxygen left.**

"**What did those guys want?" I asked, pulling her to her feet.**

"**Me."**

"**Noticed that," I replied. "Why?"**

"**I don't know," she said. "I don't know. They took me to this place a few days ago and locked me up. In a cage."**

"**They?" I asked. "They - the blue-eyed guys?"**

"**Uh-huh."**

"**Are you okay?"**

"**Yeah. Scarred for life, but yeah. I just wanna go home."**

"**Where's home?" I felt as Ruby disappeared - probably because I'd been leaving her out - and Rachel's eyes darted to the now empty space.**

**Idiot demon.**

"**She just -" Rachel stopped, mouth wide. "What was she?"**

"**A, uh…a demon."**

"**A…demon…" She looked at the two guys on the floor. "Are they?"**

"**I don't know," I said, shrugging. "Anyway, if you're really okay…I should get you home."**

"**I've been missing for three days. My parents are probably…freaking out. First Alicia, now me."**

"**Alicia Allen?" I wondered. "You're her sister?"**

"**Cousin. Her parents died when she was three."**

"**Oh…"**

**She eyed me suspiciously. "How do you know about her?"**

"**I read it in the paper," I lied - sorta. "Come on. I have a car outside. Or, hopefully it's still there."**

* * *

**Luckily, the car _was_ still there.**

"**So, what're you planning on doing? They're gonna keep coming after you."**

**Rachel looked like she knew that, she just hadn't wanted to say it. "I don't know."**

"**I can protect you," I said. "But you're gonna have to come with me."**

"**Where?"**

"**To a motel. I have three others with me. We…do this all the time. Help people. Speaking of people…there was another guy in there. Did you know him?"**

"**No. He was squatting when we got there."**

"**Oh." I vaguely wondered where he was now. He wasn't in the building and he wasn't out here. "Are you going to come with me?"**

**She shrugged. "I don't really have a choice, do I?"**

"**You have a choice. You could come with me. You could run away. You could go home, wait for them to come after you again…"**

"**I don't wanna die," she said softly, staring at me. I noticed her eyes were green.**

"**Okay," I said. "Okay. If you come with me, you won't." Probably.**

* * *

**Back at the motel room, food forgotten, I explained to the others what had happened. From the time Ruby gave me the address to now.**

**Dean got a little…angry. "Oh, you went because Ruby told you to? What're you gonna do next? Have a sleepover and braid each other's hair?"**

"**Don't start with me." I glared at him. "I _knew_ it could've been a trap, that's why I went alone."**

**Part of me just wanted to wrap my arms around him, let him know I was okay, and let him feel the love inside me radiating just for him. Another part of me couldn't believe that I couldn't, couldn't accept that that was my reality now. And it _was_ my reality. It would make his decision to stay away from me harder if I kept throwing myself at him or wrapping my arms around him.**

**Dean fumed for a second and then appeared to let it go. "Well, I'm glad you're okay."**

"**Thank you," I said sincerely. I then focused on Rachel. "Now, this fire starter thing…how powerful are we talking here?"**

**A clouded expression filled Rachel's face. "I can burn people from the inside out." Her eyes filled with water and guilt. "I don't mean to. It only happens when I'm scared or angry."**

**She couldn't help it. But, God, what if she got mad at one of us? I knew I could counter her power - I'd done so already - but would I be able to do it on time, without hurting her?**

"**Okay, well, first thing on the menu is teaching you to control yourself." It would probably be like me learning to control mine, right? Although it had taken me a while to control my outbursts, and I still slipped sometimes.**

**She couldn't hurt anyone else, we couldn't let her. But she was an innocent in all this - she hadn't asked for any of this to happen. Would any of us have it in us to kill an innocent girl? An innocent teenager, not much younger than myself?**

**I inwardly cringed. If she were a real threat, and nothing else could be done…we'd find out.**

* * *

**Leaving Sam and Bobby with the research and Rachel, Dean and I went to the grocery store. He'd specifically asked me to come with him and when we got to the car he started in on me.**

"**You could've died, you know that?"**

"**I can die any day, Dean. It sorta comes with the territory."**

**He started the car angrily. "Don't do that. Don't you _dare_ do that. You shouldn't have gone alone. Especially without telling anyone where you were going."**

"**Fine," I said, mostly to get him to stop almost-yelling at me. "I did something stupid, can we move on? Besides, I totally took care of it."**

"**Yeah, I know. Five demons, by yourself. You're getting wicked-powerful."**

**I took a small breath. "Does it…scare you?" He didn't say anything; he just started to drive. "It scares me sometimes," I admitted. "It's okay if you think it's scary. But you need to tell me. If it bothers you…" I sighed. "If it bothers you…I won't do it anymore." Though it did make things easier sometimes.**

"**It bothers me sometimes, yeah," Dean said, anger gone. "But you can't hold yourself back for me. That would be wrong. You can't pretend to be less than you are."**

"**Hm…" I paused. "What're we gonna do about Rachel? We can't let her kill anyone else. And we can't let those things get her again. Especially since we don't know what they want with her." Something then occurred to me. "She's accepting everything a little too well, wouldn't you say? I mean, she didn't try to attack me even though she saw what I could do. When Ruby disappeared all she wanted to know was what she was. Then she accepted the offer to come with me way to eagerly."**

"**You think she's dangerous?"**

"**Well, yes," I said. "And no. I was alone with her, she could've killed me if she really wanted. But…I do believe she's dangerous; she's killed before."**

**Even though I was pretty sure she wasn't a threat to _us_ we called Sam and told him to be careful with her. And to maybe subtly do a background check on her.**

**And because of my revelation we decided to just stop and get something rather than take the time to shop. We wanted to hurry back to the motel to begin questioning Rachel. If that was even her name.**

* * *

**And so the interrogation began.**

**Rachel's name really was Rachel and she really was Alicia Allen's cousin, the background check proved that.**

"**What were you doing at the warehouse?" I asked.**

**Rachel sighed and bit her lip. "I knew you would figure it out eventually. I thought it would take longer."**

"**Sorry to disappoint," I said, crossing my arms over my chest.**

"**It's Alex Thompson - the new guy at the school board. All the teachers practically worship the ground he walks on. He's very persuasive. Before he moved here - or back here - he donated a bunch of money to the school systems around here. The teachers eat out of the palm of his hand. He uses them and then when he's done with them…"**

"**He kills them?" Sam asked.**

"**Yeah," she answered, nodding. "He's powerful. Maybe not human. He's immune to my ability."**

"**And the blue-eyed people? How do they fit in?"**

"**They're his lackeys." Rachel sighed again. "They killed that secretary. She worked at the high school. Then that teacher that had a stroke…it wasn't a stroke."**

"**Those two people that were burned alive…" Dean began.**

**Rachel looked away. "I meant what I said. I didn't mean to do it."**

"**What your connection to Alex Thompson?" Bobby asked.**

"**A couple days after he came here I met with him at the school. He wanted to meet with me specifically. He was really nice. I was suspicious because he knew what I could do. But he said not to worry, that he just wanted to keep me safe."**

"**Why?" Dean asked.**

"**He said it was needed, that he needed it. He told me he knew what it was like to be different but I didn't have to hide with him."**

"**What happened then?" Bobby asked.**

"**He took me to this meeting. Other kids, kids I knew were there. Alex has…followers, so to speak."**

"**So it's a cult," Dean surmised.**

"**Definitely. People fell to their knees for him."**

"**They…" I shook my head. "Why? He doesn't sound all that great to me."**

"**Well, I didn't bow down to him," Rachel snapped. "He kept going on about…stuff. Half of it I didn't understand."**

"**Well, how about you tell us what you _did_ understand," Dean said.**

"**He wants to rule us. Dominate over humanity."**

**Tension thickened the air around us, making it hard to breathe.**

"**What?" I asked; my voice didn't make it past a whisper.**

"**Yeah. He calls it bringing order to all the chaos, but that's just sugar coating it. Nobody else seems to get that. Or almost nobody."**

"**What does that mean?"**

"**There was one guy. Dylan something. He got scared…tried to back out. Got killed for his efforts. I…killed him. Alex called me his weapon."**

"**You killed him. Dylan…" I hadn't read about that yet. "Why?"**

"**So it wouldn't be me dying," she said simply. She seemed to feel remorse for killing the guy, but she was more worried about herself. I'd have to remember that.**

"**Did you pledge your loyalty to him?" I asked.**

"**Yes," she said quietly. "I didn't want to, but I didn't want to die, either."**

"**How many innocent people have you killed just so _you_ wouldn't die?" Dean questioned, clenching his hands into fists.**

"**No more than necessary," she claimed. "I was supposed to kill you -" she looked at me - "today at the warehouse. It was a trap."**

"**Ruby -"**

"**No," Rachel said. "Alex. He wants you out of the equation for good. He thinks it's risky, you being alive. You could ruin everything."**

"**Hm."**

**Dean instinctively moved closer to me. He wasn't loving all the talk about me being killed. I wasn't too fond of it, either.**

"**Why didn't you kill me? You had me all to yourself."**

**Rachel shrugged indifferently. "You saved me. Or thought you had, anyway. You're different than Alex said you were."**

"**Oh?"**

"**He's telling everyone that you won't stop them, you won't be much of a threat."**

"**Them?"**

"**Followers. Mostly people like me, who feel they don't have a choice." She sighed. "But he's scared of you. Wouldn't have wanted me to take you out if he weren't. He told _me_ he thinks you're the most powerful human on this earth. You guys are to Alex the most powerful force of good. He doesn't want you getting in the way."**

"**Where're his meeting being held?" Dean asked.**

**Rachel shook her head. "I dunno. He picks a different spot, sometimes the high school, the college, somewhere else."**

"**Hm…all these people going missing, he have something to do with that?" Dean asked.**

"**Yeah. I don't know how many he needs, but he's got plenty. He'll use his followers if he has to."**

"**How many followers?"**

"**At least a hundred."**

"**I have a question," Bobby said. "How did this Alex guy convince everyone?"**

"**I told you, he used the cover of wanting to bring order to the chaos of this world. Then there was me. My flame thing proved that nothing is normal or sane. They believe now."**

"**And they're scared of you and Alex," I said. "And of _betraying_ Alex."**

"**Yeah, he got what he wanted. The ones who don't love him are terrified of him. He got the heat and the weapon - me - he needs to do all this."**

"**Are you causing the heat wave of the century?" Dean asked.**

"**My blood. He used my blood. Now I can't control it."**

"**Why're you telling us all this?" I asked, tense because she had to have an angle. "If Alex is as bad as you said he is, he'll know you told us, and he'll come after you. Send someone after you. You'll be considered a traitor."**

**Rachel shrugged, her blond hair bobbing up and down. "You guys will protect me."**

* * *

**Listening to Rachel talk, we learned a few things. First being that she looked out for number one; she didn't care who got hurt in the process. Her main priority was saving her own ass.**

**Second…Alex Thompson wasn't trying to raise a demon, he was trying to escalate his own power, and if Rachel was telling the truth, she didn't know what that meant.**

**Bobby insisted on keeping the appointment with Alex Thompson until Rachel reminded him that he knew who we were.**

**I glanced at Dean and gestured to the door with my head. I needed to talk to him, alone.**

**After we got outside, I began. "I wanna read her mind. Make sure she's telling the truth."**

"**Are you sure? It took you a while when you tried with me."**

**I nodded. "I know. But I'm stronger now. More focused."**

"**A'right. You can try. But don't push yourself too hard, okay. If you can, you can. If not, we'll find some other way." He shook his head, smiling softly. "I'm surprised you're asking, actually. I was under the impression you didn't care what I thought anymore."**

**I winced internally. I deserved that. I'd told him he had no say-so in anything I did anymore.**

"**I always care what you think. I was just hurt and frustrated, and I shouldn't have said that. I never meant that…"**

**I touched his hand and sent a thought of 'I love you' to him and he closed his eyes against it.**

"**Don't. I'm not trying anything, I promise. But I do love you. I feel like I'm freezing to death without you."**

"**Aly, please. Don't."**

"**I'm not. When you told me you couldn't be with me anymore, my first instinct was to fight you. But you're right. I won't try anything again. I'll make it easier for you." I felt my chest tighten painfully at my words. Everything in me was telling me not to do this. "But Dean, I'll always be here for you whether we're together or not. I just…I've gotta be an adult about this. I've gotta respect your decision."**

**It hurt me to say that, but he _was _right. In the long run, he was right.**


	9. Hot as Hell Pt Two

**Hot as Hell  
Part Two**

"**You wanna what?" This, of course, was Rachel's response to my request that she let me in her head.**

"**I want to read your mind," I repeated calmly. "It's your own fault. You shouldn't have lied."**

"**It's not gonna leave me a vegetable or anything, is it?"**

"**No," I said, slightly offended. "I'm not the bad guy in this; that's would be _you_." Rachel was one of them, anyway. "Now, relax."**

**I was squatting in front of her, which put me at a disadvantage if she wanted to do anything to me. I had Sam, Dean, and Bobby behind me at the ready, however, so I wasn't too worried. They had my back.**

**I grabbed Rachel's hand. "You're going to feel something pushing inside you. Don't push back. I don't wanna have to force myself in, but I will if I have to."**

**I definitely didn't want to force it. Forcing my soul - or whatever - into hers…would be very intrusive. Almost like rape, it would be a violation of sorts.**

**I took a deep breath and looked back at the three guys. Bobby was watching, interested it seemed. Dean was more focused on Rachel. And Sam…well, Sam was brooding. Which wasn't anything too earth-shattering. He was always brooding about something.**

"**Here goes nothing."**

**I took another breath and reached inside myself for the place my power came from and slowly sent it outward and into Rachel. She resisted at first, but I could tell it was just because she was scared and nervous.**

"**It's just me. Stop fighting."**

**She settled after a few seconds and I pushed further into her thoughts.**

**_Tell me about Alex_, I said - or, well, thought.**

**She gasped out loud, but thought, _This feels weird_.**

**_Well, I'm not exactly bursting into song myself_, I thought acidly. This _did_ feel weird. I'd only ever done this with Dean, and her soul or light or spirit or whatever wasn't like Dean's. It wasn't as good or bright or loving.**

**_Okay, okay. I think we both get the point_, Rachel snapped.**

**Oops. I hadn't meant for her to hear that.**

**_Okay. Alex now - tell me about him._ Then I got specific. _Where is he keeping his sacrifices?_**

**Things got dark then and I thought for a second that she was blocking me, but then I was in a metal cage in a dark place. But…no, I wasn't in the cage, I was reliving her memory.**

"**_I never agreed to this," she said to…Alex. He was beside her, barely visible in the darkness. "I never agreed to kill for you."_**

"_**No," I could hear the evil in his voice. "But I have faith in your survival instincts, your self preservation,"**_

"_**Hm." Rachel knew he was right. "Where's my cousin?"**_

_**Rachel was looking in on about thirteen people, taking in their faces, feeling a weird sense of relief that none of them were Alicia.**_

"_**Oh, don't worry. I would never have you kill your family. Not this early in the relationship."**_

_**Rachel lost it then and reached out to him. I didn't know what she was doing and he began laughing.**_

"_**Oh, do it again. It tickles."**_

_**What were you doing just then**_**, I asked.**

**She grabbed my arm and I felt an intense heat - painful heat - and our connection broke.**

"**Ow!" I shrieked, standing up, grabbing my arm. There was a blistering handprint there. "What the hell?"**

"**You asked what I was doing," she answered. "I was just -"**

**I brought my hand up and smacked her square in the face. It was instinctive, I couldn't help it. Here we were being nice to her even though we knew she was an in-it-for-herself person, and she repaid us by doing this?**

"**Hey!" she said, and then looked at me shocked.**

**Dean grabbed me by the shoulders and turned me around. "You okay?"**

"**Yeah." I was already healing. "Yeah, I'm okay. I saw the…people for the - for the sacrifice. They were in a cage. God, like animals." I turned to Rachel again. "Where are they?"**

"**The warehouse. The one you found me in. There's a basement."**

"**We were there and you just let us walk out?"**

"**Hey, just because you don't have a sense of self preservation doesn't mean I don't."**

"**Would they still be alive?" Dean asked. "Could we get to them in time?"**

**Rachel shrugged. "I don't know. If they're alive, he's probably moved them. They were stinking up the place, anyway. Blood, urine, vomit."**

**How could she be so heartless? Did she even _have_ a soul?**

"**You know, your cousin was probably one of the ones locked in a cage…somewhere else. She's gonna die, assuming she hasn't already. And, ya know, part of that is gonna be your fault."**

"**I'm not the one who -"**

"**That's not the point," I interrupted. "The point is you could've done something to stop this and you didn't." I glanced at my arm; it was completely healed now. "By the way, if you burn me again, I will do more than hit you."**

**I looked back at the others.**

"**We should go. If these people are still alive we have to find them."**

"**Yeah, well, what do we do about Miss Firestarter here?" Dean asked. "We can't leave her here alone, and we can't take her with us."**

"**Well, you guys go. I'll stay here with her."**

"**I don't know, Aly." Dean glanced at Rachel. "She's dangerous."**

**_Duh_. I was pretty sure the look I gave him let him know I knew exactly how dangerous she was. I had been burned already.**

"**Well, I'll stay with her, if you want," Sam said. "Or, well, both of them."**

"**O…kay," Dean said reluctantly. "Okay, we'll make it fast."**

* * *

**After giving Dean the address, he and Bobby left, and Sam began talking. I soon found out what he'd been brooding about earlier.**

"**I didn't know you could read minds," Sam said, and he sounded a little angry that he'd been kept out of the loop. "When did that start?"**

"**Oh, um…for a while. It was, um…" Why was this so hard? Sam was like a brother to me, so why was it hard to tell him? "It takes physical contact. I can't just look at you and read your thoughts."**

**I sat down at the table and ran my fingers through my hair.**

"**Do you remember that time I shot you?" Sam nodded. "Well, Dean and I had to connect so I could heal you. I had to draw strength from him. It was shortly after that I realized I could read his mind. Until now…I didn't use it one anyone but him. It was just…kinda…ours."**

**I didn't tell Sam that Dean could feel what I was feeling when he touched me. Or I was assuming he still could - he hadn't said anything about it in a while. Either way, it was Dean's secret to tell.**

"**I could try with you if you wanted."**

**Sam seemed hesitant. "I don't know. It's…weird, isn't it? For you I mean, it's weird?"**

**This time it was me who hesitated. "With Dean it wasn't. With Rachel, yeah. But, with Dean, it was just another way to be close. He didn't mind it. Because we are…we _were_ us." I began playing with the ring on my left hand. "I told him I wasn't gonna push anymore. I'm gonna…make it easier for him. I'm not gonna lie, it's gonna hurt me. To be so close to him and not have him. But I can't force him to be with me."**

**Rachel, who had just been listening to us talk, said, "That's stupid. With as powerful as you are you could have anything you wanted. Want, take, have."**

**Want, take, have?**

"**Yeah, well, I actually have a soul, so…Besides, I wouldn't want Dean with me if it wasn't his choice." It would be wrong, and like I'd said…I couldn't force Dean to change his mind. Even if it did sound tempting.**

"**So, did you wanna try?" I asked Sam, not really caring one way or the other.**

"**Maybe later. I'm more worried about what Dean and Bobby are up to."**

"**Yeah. So…" I looked at Rachel now. "World domination, huh? How does he plan on doing that? All by his lonesome?"**

**Rachel shook her head. "No. No. His followers are supposed to like some kind of army."**

"**Does Alex thing that humans are just gonna sit down and take this?" I asked incredulously. "I mean, most humans don't like being controlled."**

"**People learn quickly. The more people who rebel, the more Alex will kill."**

"**People might not learn," Sam said. "Maybe they'll just get pissed off."**

**I smiled at that because I'd been thinking the same thing. It seemed Sam and I were on the same wave length on this: Alex Thompson was seriously underestimating the human race.**

"**You said before that he maybe wasn't human," I said to Rachel. "What did you mean?"**

"**Oh, he's definitely not human. The human visage is just a disguise."**

"**Show me."**

**She did the oddest thing then. She shrunk away from me and shook her head frantically. "No. I don't want to relive that particular memory."**

"**You're gonna have to tell us or show me. You'll have to remember, either way," I said.**

"**He has snake eyes. They're red. His face changes. Becomes longer. He has fangs. Like a vampire."**

"**Movie vampire?" Sam asked. "Or real ones?"**

"**I've never met a real vampire," Rachel snapped. "The point is, he changes form sometimes."**

**So he was a creature of some sort. A creature that was immune to her fire power thing. Did that mean he would be immune to my abilities, too? But, no, Rachel had said Alex was scared of me. And then there was the question of whether Alex was really Alex. Had he been born different, or had he been born normal and had changed over time? Or was this even Alex at all? Maybe, probably, hopefully, it was a creature impersonating Alex Thompson.**

**I glanced at my watch and realized Dean and Bobby should be at the warehouse now. I hoped they were okay, that the sacrifices were okay, that Alex wasn't there and that we stopped whatever he was planning to do.**

"**They'll be okay," Sam said, reading my face. "Whatever it is, they can handle it."**

"**I know," I said. "Just…waiting sucks, ya know?"**

"**Oh, yeah," he agreed emphatically.**

* * *

**When Dean and Bobby got back from the warehouse we found out it had been a bust. No sacrifices. There had, however, been cages, and the floors had been stained with blood. And there'd been a body of a teenage boy - a follower of Alex, maybe - who'd had his throat ripped out. Literally.**

"**Courtesy of Alex Thompson?" I asked Rachel coldly. I vaguely wondered if the boy had been alive when I'd been there earlier. Would I have been able to save him if I'd have known he was there?**

**I felt a pang, but focused on the task at hand.**

"**Probably," Rachel answered my question simply.**

**Sam and I went through what Rachel had told us - the whole creature thing and the world domination thing.**

"**So, basically, if he gets the sacrifices he needs…we'll have a full scale war on our hands," Bobby said.**

"**Basically exactly," I said. "I think he thinks people will just fall in line."**

**Dean glared at Rachel. "When is the sacrifice supposed to take place?"**

**She shook her head. "I don't know. Soon, I think. I really don't know."**

**I could tell she was telling the truth. Telling us the truth now would save her life, so why would she lie?**

"**Where else would he keep them?" I asked. "You said the teachers were in on it. The school, could the sacrifices be at the school?"**

**Rachel grimaced. "Maybe. The teachers don't know he wants to sacrifice anyone, so…maybe."**

"**Well, let's go," Dean said. "Let's stop this thing."**

* * *

**After forcing Rachel into the car - with much complaining from her - we began the ride to the high school.**

"**I don't know why I have to go. I can't help you."**

"**Oh, I don't know, you seem to have no problem burning people," I said. "So you'll come in handy. Just don't kill anyone unless you have to."**

"**I'm just saying…I'll probably get in the way."**

"**Probably," Dean agreed, seeing right through her excuses. "But there's no way we trust you enough to leave you alone."**

"**Yeah, yeah."**

**It was nighttime when we reached the school. The lights were on in the parking lot, the lights were on in the school. That wasn't too suspicious. Maybe janitorial was in doing their job. Or maybe Alex Thompson was there holding one of his evil meetings or recruiting new followers or making his sacrifices. And suddenly I was thinking I had too many _or_s too think about.**

"**So, say we come across a room full of his followers," I said, trying to sound nonchalant but coming across as nervous. "What's the plan?"**

"**Fight hard." Bobby shrugged. "Don't die."**

"**Hm." Dean chuckled. "Very basic. Not hard to remember. I like it."**

**We parked the car and got out. Dean popped the trunk and handed each of us a gun and a knife. Excluding Rachel, of course. Of course, if Alex's followers were willing to die for him, the weapons wouldn't do that much good. We'd run out of ammo long before killing everyone. _Killing everyone, killing humans_. God.**

"**Dean…" I started. "We don't even know how to kill this thing." We didn't even know what this thing was.**

"**Well, I thought we might try violence," he said. "Besides, this is strictly a rescue mission. If the people are here, we get them out to safety."**

"**Yeah, okay."**

"**Well, whatever we're gonna do, we better do it fast because the cops will respond pretty quickly," Sam said.**

"**Right. Because school's have security systems now."**

"**That's assuming money hasn't changed hands there," Bobby said. "Chances are this Alex character has them on his payroll."**

**We reached the door, Rachel in tow, and began picking the lock. I couldn't believe I was breaking into a school; I'd worked so hard to get out of school and now I was breaking my way back in. When we got inside we saw a welcoming desk, an office, and a guidance office. The computers in the office were off, of course, it being night and all. Off to the left was the nurse's office and a couple classrooms. Then further down was a cafeteria. To the right was an auditorium and a gym and then further down was an exit. Right in front of us was the door to the library.**

"**If they're here…they'd be in the basement, I think," Rachel whispered. "Or below it."**

"**Below it?" Sam asked. "You mean the tunnel system?"**

"**Yeah."**

"**Well, where's the basement?" Dean asked.**

**In hindsight, we probably should've gotten the blueprints for the building.**

"**Do you wanna split up?"**

"**No way," Dean said firmly. "This Alex Thompson guy is a loose cannon, so we're sticking together."**

"**Oh, good. I was hoping you would say that," I said, because I hated when we split up.**

**The basement access was near the cafeteria and it was unlocked so we went inside and let our eyes adjust to the sudden darkness.**

"**Um, you guys are gonna hate this idea," I began my voice barely about a whisper. "But we have to hold hands."**

"**What?" Sam and Dean breathed out harshly.**

"**It's dark, we can't turn on a light - it'll announce our presence - and we could lose each other easily. This place probably goes like a maze."**

**With much grumbling from the two brothers I placed myself between them. We went in single-file: Dean, myself, Sam, Rachel, and then Bobby. Dean had insisted on going first, and one of us had to be the tail-end to make sure Rachel didn't run off.**

"**I wish we had a light," Dean complained. "I can't see a damn thing." Translation: he didn't want us getting lost down here.**

"**Yeah, maybe we should announce our presence. It'll make this quicker."**

"**Fine," I agreed. They both had a point: we couldn't see anything and it would be quicker if we had a light.**

**I was taken by surprise when a ball of flame began floating in front of us and I froze for a second. Had Rachel done that?**

"**There," she said quietly. "Now we can see."**

"**Huh. A'right, that's pretty awesome," Dean said. "Even if you are a heartless bitch."**

"**I am not a -"**

"**Enough," I said. "Can we focus, please?" My ire was directed at Rachel mostly and she stopped talking almost immediately. I felt gratified.**

**We went on through the basement and it _was_ like a maze. The ball of fire led the way. Eventually we reached a wall and a dead end. Nothing.**

"**Well, this was a waste of time," Dean said.**

**I stomped in frustration. Stomped, literally. I leaned against the wall and crossed my arms over my chest…and fell through. I lost my balance and _oomph_ed as my bottom hit a stone floor. _Ow_.**

"**Hey," a male voice said frantically. "How'd you get here?"**

**I looked around - it was dark here, too - but could only see the outline of the guy. I realized then that I was cold…it was cold here. Freezing, almost.**

"**Aly?" Dean's voice, whispering desperately. "Are you there?"**

"**I'm here."**

**Since I couldn't see him, I reached out my inner self to find him. I grabbed his hand and made sure he was…well…him.**

**A light flashed on and I saw that we were all here. Me, Dean, Sam, Bobby, and Rachel. Rachel looked spooked.**

"**Rachel?" The male voice from earlier. I could see him now. The guy was a normal teenager. He had a college T-shirt on, so I assumed he was that age.**

"**Eric…" They embraced quickly. Was this good? Or bad? They obviously knew each other.**

"**What is this?" I asked.**

**Rachel looked at me. "Eric is sort of a guard." She smirked his way. "Nice job with that, by the way."**

**He shrugged. "Whatever. You know I'm only here because I have to be."**

"**Are the sacrifices here?" Dean asked, and his tone clearly said _don't lie to me_.**

**Eric flinched at the authoritative voice. "No. But Alex is. Who are you?"**

"**They can help," Rachel said. "They're _them_."**

**Eric's eyes widened. "Them? Sam and Dean and Alyson?"**

**How did everyone know us? Were we really _that_ popular?**

"**You've heard of us," Sam said.**

"**Well, yeah, you guys…let's just say the underworld hates you."**

"**That's because we always kick their ass," Dean said knowingly, and maybe a little smugly.**

"**Where's Alex?" I asked, focusing on the case.**

**Eric pointed to the left. "That way. But I wouldn't go if I were you. He's expecting you. And he's not very happy with _you_, Rachel."**

**She frowned and I saw the fear in her eyes. I felt a little bad for her even if she had brought it on herself.**

"**Okay, let's go," Dean said. This was one of those times when Dean was pretending to be brave but inside he was terrified.**

**God, I was terrified, too. We didn't know what Alex was, we didn't know how many other people were here. We were probably outnumbered.**

"**Oh, God, we're gonna die, aren't we?" I said without actually meaning to.**

**Dean looked at me weird. "Okay, General, way to inspire the troops." Then to Eric. "Lead the way."**

"**What? But -"**

"**_Lead the way_," Dean repeated.**

**Eric gulped and did as he was told.**

* * *

**The farther we went, the colder it got. I could see my breath in front of me, it was so cold. I had started shivering and Dean had had no choice but to pull me close. It kinda went against his no-touching rule with us, but he didn't want me freezing. **

**I still didn't understand how we'd come through the wall - a glamour, maybe, or an illusion.**

**We heard…something. Chanting maybe. People chanting 'Alex' over and over again.**

"**Where're we going?" I asked quietly.**

"**Hell, probably," Rachel said seriously. "Gonna be crowded down there."**

**I glanced at Dean. It would be crowded in hell, if only because Dean would be there. My gut twisted uncomfortably and I had to swallow back the bile I felt rising.**

"**So, why did you join?" I asked, changing the subject.**

"**Me?" Eric asked. "It was the only way I could protect my family and myself."**

**We reached a room - even darker and colder here - and peeked in. There were about one hundred people, still chanting. But everything fell silent real quickly. Did they know we were here?"**

"**We have visitors," the voice from Rachel's memory said. Alex Thompson. _Crap_. "The three are here."**

**Then, without even time to respond, I felt a sharp pain at my side and then it was lights out.**

* * *

**When I woke up I couldn't move much. I was chained to the wall. I pulled as hard as I could and I realized I had maybe a foot of slack. My head was pounding and the chains were loose enough for me to grab where it hurt.**

"**_God_." It really hurt.**

"**Aly?"**

**_Dean_. Oh, God, Dean. He was here with me. I didn't know if that made me happy or worried.**

"**Dean," I said, looking in the direction of his voice. He was chained, too, and Sam. "Sam."**

"**We're here," Dean said. "Are you okay?"**

"**My head hurts. What happened?"**

"**I think we were tasered," Sam said. "That's what it feels like."**

"**Oh, great."**

"**Can you get us out?"**

"**I dunno, I'll try."**

**I centered myself as best as I could considering the circumstances, but when I pushed the chains burnt me much like Rachel had earlier.**

"**Ow!" Son of a bitch.**

**I stopped pushing and the chains stopped burning.**

"**Hurts, doesn't it?" A door opened and that repulsive voice - the one that belonged to Alex - filled the room. And we _were_ in a room…a dungeon type room. The floor was stone and it was freezing in here. "I made those with a very special material. As long as you're in them you're powerless."**

"**Where's Bobby," Dean demanded. "What'd you do to him?"**

"**Oh, don't worry, he's still alive. For now. He's been moved with the other sacrifices."**

**Bobby as a sacrifice? Oh, God.**

**Sam, Dean and I all struggled against our restraints at the same time.**

"**Oh, don't get your undies in a twist. He's got it way easier than you guys. You guys - I actually need something from you." Alex's smile - evil smile - filled his face. "I lured you here. I knew the missing people would do the trick."**

"**What do you need from us?" Sam, ever the inquisitive one, asked.**

"**Well, I need _your_ blood," Alex said to him. "I'll need to bleed you dry." His focus turned to Dean. "I need your heart, but don't worry, you won't feel a thing." I clenched my jaw as he turned to me. "And I need you, period. Your strength and abilities, anyway."**

**I scoffed. Who did he think I was? "I'm not like Rachel. I won't kill for you. I won't kill innocent people."**

"**Innocent people?" Alex seemed fascinated by my terminology. "There's no such animal."**

**Why couldn't I feel him? What was he? A shapeshifter? Had to be. He looked human, but underneath it all he was a creature.**

"**Besides, I don't need you to do that for me. I'm extracting your power center. I'll use it myself."**

**He couldn't do that. Well, he _could_, but he wouldn't be able to use it. Not himself. It would kill him first, right? Bad things couldn't take me over so it made sense that my power couldn't take over something bad, right?**

"**If you need us…let the others go," Dean said.**

"**Oh, no, they're needed. They're the beginning, then Sam's blood, your heart, and Alyson's power center. In that order. One each day. You have until tomorrow morning. The sacrifices are being killed as we speak. You'll know when it's done…the earth will shake."**

**An earthquake… We were in way over our heads.**

* * *

**An hour later I had my wrists bleeding and slick. They were raw and it hurt badly when I pulled at them. I had bitten through my lip a few times to keep from crying out. Alex wasn't here at the moment and I didn't need him alerted to what I was doing. The muscles in my shoulders were tired and they trembled as I continued using them.**

**As the blood coated my fingers my hands slipped through the shackles. I felt like whooping with relief, but I didn't. Now that my chains were off I could get Sam and Dean free. So I did.**

**We quickly made sure we were all okay to go. Dean checked my wrists, which were still sore but already healing.**

"**We have no weapons," Sam said. "How're we gonna fight these guys? How're we gonna get to Bobby?"**

"**I _am_ a weapon," I said, glancing at Sam. "And don't worry about Bobby. He'll be fine. He has to be." Because he was Bobby.**

"**Are you up for it?" Dean asked.**

"**I am." I didn't really have a choice, anyway.**

**It was weird, but we didn't meet anyone in the building. _Anyone_. Well, this had trap written all over it. When we reached the outside we hesitantly went forward. I didn't feel anything, but that that didn't mean anything. I realized we were still at the high school and we went straight to the car. Nobody tried to stop us. _Nobody_. This was definitely a trap.**

**There was a noise that sounded like what I imagined an erupting volcano sounded like. Then I was being thrown into the air. Had there been an explosion? Was this the heat wave from it? I tried to keep my body as loose as possible, and I brought my arms up to protect my head.**

**When I landed, my whole body protested. I hit asphalt and I felt my skin tear as I slid to a stop. I laid there for I don't know how long, slipping in and out of consciousness. Finally I was able to remain awake when I heard a voice calling out to me.**

**Bobby? Was it Bobby? How'd he get here?**

**I managed to open my eyes and two Bobby's came into view. He helped me up and I winced - it felt like rock was embedded in my skin. I wouldn't heal unless it was taken out.**

"**You're here," I said, relieved. "How're you here?"**

"**I got out, took a couple with me."**

"**Sam, Dean. Where are they?"**

**Bobby shook his head. "I dunno. But we'll find them."**

**I looked around, surveying the damage. There was debris from the school flaming on the ground. The sign from the school had been uprooted and had landed near me. I realized I hadn't been thrown to far - maybe fifty feet - and I could see the car. The Impala had taken the brunt of the damage, what with things being thrown into it and all. Dean was gonna be pissed.**

"**Dean!" I shrieked. "Sam! We have to find them. Now!"**

"**We will," Bobby said, grabbing my arms. "We will. Don't panic."**

"**No, no, no, you don't understand. Once a certain amount of people die, there'll be an earthquake. So we have -"**

**Before I got to finish…the ground started trembling. God, earthquakes and fire and, what, was the world ending?**

"**Oh, my God," I muttered.**

"**Dean's okay," Bobby said. "They both are." I could tell, though, that it was like I'd reassured Sam earlier. Bobby didn't _know_ they were okay. He probably didn't even feel it. But they _had to be_.**

"**Of course they are," I remarked. "They're them, after all."**

**In the distance I heard car alarms and I was fairly certain I heard screams, and why not? We were having an earthquake in Ohio. Along with the serious heat wave, everyone had to know something was going on. Something weird.**

"**We need to take cover," Bobby yelled over the noise.**

"**But -"**

"**We're no good to them dead. We take cover and find them when everything settles down."**

"**Yeah, yeah, okay."**

**With on last glance around I surveyed everything again. What if they were buried in the debris? What if they were burning or suffocating as we were standing there.**

"**You go," I told Bobby. "I'm not leaving."**

"**Alyson, you're hurt -"**

"**No," I almost yelled. "No. If it was me buried in there Dean wouldn't stop until he found me. I have to look."**

**They couldn't be dead. Dean couldn't be dead. God, he couldn't be.**

"**They'll be okay," Bobby muttered. "Like you said, they're them. They're survivors."**

**I nodded shakily and tried to calm myself down. I couldn't do anything if I wasn't calm. But, God, I was shaking. Was I going into shock?**

**Yes, I think I was. This was too much for me. The earthquake, the fire…I'd been on edge to begin with; add in the apocalyptic events and I was a nervous wreck.**

**The ground was still shaking a little. What if the ground split apart and we never found the other two? And, thinking of others…where were Eric and Rachel? Had Rachel helped Alex, or had she been killed with the others? What had Alex needed her for?**

**I moved toward the rubble, breathing heavily and fighting back tears. I was going to find my guys. _I had to find them_.**

* * *

Okay, so...I know it's been a while since I updated last, and again I have a reason. I helped my mom and dad move and I got sick from it. I've been writing bits and pieces for the last week and a half or so and here it is. I don't know if you guys will notice it, but I used shorter sections for parts of this chapter. It was all leading up to the part where Aly freaked out. I just wanted to note the fact that she's been internally freaking out ever since Dean made the deal, and she's been letting it build and build and now in this chapter it's started to come out. And then at the beginning of the chapter where she hit Rachel, I kinda had a debate with myself on whether she would've done that or not because Aly is the type of person that thinks things through before she does them, but that one was kinda just instinctive. But then I thought, she's been on edge for a while now and she's had nowhere to place her anger and Rachel seemed like a good target at the moment. LOL Anyway, enjoy.


	10. Hot as Hell Pt Three

**Hot as Hell  
Part Three**

**It took all of thirty minutes to find Sam and Dean. Sam had taken most of his damage to his head - story of his life. He was always banging his head on something. Dean was okay except for the fact that he'd dislocated his shoulder. I'd healed Sam's head and he'd fixed Dean's shoulder.**

**During our search, the earth had stopped trembling, for which I was grateful. Oddly enough though, nobody ever came. No police, no firemen. It made me wonder if, like Bobby had mentioned earlier, the city officials were in it with Alex.**

**Alex, who had conveniently disappeared, along with Rachel and Eric.**

**The second Dean's shoulder was fixed I threw my arms around him. The movement reminded me that I was hurt and I winced, pulling away from him.**

"**Ow."**

"**Aly?" His voice, so full of concern, hurt me more than my wound.**

"**I'm okay. I think there's a bit of road or something…"**

"**Well, let's get back to the car. First aid kit and Dr. Dean will fix you right up."**

**I nodded as the pain hit me full force. That whole 'first aid kit and Dr. Dean' thing would've made me smile before…now it just hurt. It was normal, it felt normal when everything was definitely not normal. Everything was wrong, wrong, _wrong_.**

**At the car I removed my shirt and found the whole left side of my back had gravel in it. How had I not felt it? It was gross.**

"**This is gonna take a while," Dean said. "It's really bad."**

"**Yeah, I can actually feel that," I muttered, biting my lip.**

"**No, seriously, you lost a lot of blood," Sam said. The only reason he was even looking was because he had to hold a flashlight. "Anyone else…anyone else probably would've died."**

**I ran my hands through my hair, frustrated. "I know. I'm sorry. I'll try not to do it anymore."**

**Dean pulled a piece of rock out of my side extra fast - a response to my cavalier attitude, no doubt - and I jerked away and glared.**

"**Sorry, sorry," he said, pulling me back to him. "Just…don't talk like that. Please."**

**I looked at him and nodded. The world 'please' didn't make it past Dean's lips very often, so I couldn't just ignore him now. I wouldn't talk like that anymore if I could help it.**

"**So…what're we gonna do?" I asked. "I'm pretty sure we can stop this if we could stop Alex. We need to hurry…something tells me this is the calm before the storm."**

**All at once it hit me that the people who had disappeared were dead now. They weren't coming back. We had to stop this now. If only to avenge their deaths, this had to be stopped.**

"**A'right, we need to regroup," Dean said.**

"**Regroup where?" Bobby asked. "I came from the college. I'm pretty sure I was _let_ out. If Alex is as powerful as he wants people to think he is, I couldn't have escaped so easy."**

"**Then that's where we need to go," Dean said. "His minions will probably just lead us to him anyway."**

"**Yeah, okay, and after that we'll just get chained up again," Sam said. "We need a better plan than none."**

"**He's probably expecting us anyway," Dean argued. "Like Bobby said, if this Alex guy is all that powerful…he expected us to get free. He maybe even wanted us to what with the explosion and all."**

"**Okay, then how do we kill him?" Sam questioned. "We don't even know what he is."**

"**Um…shapeshifter, maybe?" I suggested. "I can't feel anything from him, and the only thing that I couldn't sense before was a shapeshifter. Different kinds of shapeshifters."**

**Werewolves were a kind of shapeshifter - Madison had been a werewolf and I hadn't been able to sense her.**

"**Shapeshifters want human things. What does Alex want?" Sam asked.**

"**Power. Rachel said Alex was doing all this to gain more power."**

"**Well, whatever the reason" - Dean shrugged - "we know how to kill a shapeshifter. Silver bullet to the heart."**

"**What if he's _not_ a shapeshifter?" I asked.**

**Dean grinned widely. "You'd be surprised how many things a bullet to the heart can kill."**

**At the college we were met, ironically enough, by five professors, who, by the look of things, had been expecting us. They had guns and they stripped us of ours. I knew that Dean had a silver dagger in his boot that they hadn't taken though, so we had one weapon, at least. They let us directly to Alex…and Rachel. Rachel, who was sweating profusely. And Alex was…comforting her? No, coaxing her, making her feel secure enough to do something for him. He was using her, and she was letting him.**

**I couldn't even pretend to be surprised.**

"**Ah." Alex turned to us. "What a nice surprise." We could tell he wasn't surprised at all. "Of course, that explosion was rigged to go off if you three escaped. Give you enough time to get away and building go boom."**

**His tone took me off guard. It sounded like he didn't think what he was doing was wrong. Like he thought it was okay to be doing all this.**

**Alex turned to the people who had brought us here. "Leave. Go…kill anything that gives you trouble."**

**I, being who I was, wanted to stop them, but they were human so I couldn't just snap their necks like I had the blue-eyed things.**

"**You have everyone else do your dirty work for you," Dean scoffed. "That's pretty pathetic."**

**Fury flashed across Alex's face. "How dare you? I am powerful and I am great, and you should kneel before me!"**

**Was this guy for real? Yeah, we'd kneel before him…when hell froze over.**

"**Well, I think you're suffering from a superiority complex. Or delusions of grandeur." **

**Dean was doing the whole piss-your-enemy-off-by-being-a-smartass thing, and I vaguely wondered if he had a plan that involved something more than making Alex angry. Like maybe drawing Alex closer so Dean could kill him. That would be awesome and convenient.**

**Suddenly Alex transformed into the thing Rachel hadn't wanted to show me. His skin turned a green scaly color, his eyes took on a reptilian shape. His teeth grew into fangs and they glinted in the light. His hands grew into talons, two on each hand.**

**All I could think was _ew_ and he looked like the thing from the _Black Lagoon_.**

**It was odd though, because even though Alex had turned into this reptile-creature thing I could still tell if was him. Maybe it was only because I'd seen him transform. Whatever. The more important thing was the fact that he had fangs and teeth now, which was going to make it harder to get close enough to kill him. Without us dying too, of course.**

**Dean must've been thinking the same thing because he grabbed my hand and pushed his thoughts into my head.**

**_Can you hear me_?**

**_Yeah_, I thought back without taking my eyes off of the Alex creature.**

**_Distract him for me_.**

**_Um…Okay_. I didn't exactly know how to do that, but I'd try because Dean asked me to.**

**I was supposed to distract Alex? This ugly creature thing that could bite me with his sharp fangs, or gut me with his talons? I was supposed to distract _that_?**

**Okay, well, the whole mocking thing that Dean had done earlier seemed distracting enough, so I would go with that.**

"**Hey, Alex," - I stepped forward - "what kind of coward has to use scare tactics just to get people to do what they want? I mean, you're not even scary."**

**Ugly, maybe, but not scary.**

**In the back of my mind I was hoping Sam and Bobby knew what Dean and I were doing. I hoped they weren't thinking that I was just being stupid and reckless.**

"**I think maybe you're overcompensating for something. Comin' up a little short between the legs there, Mr. Thompson?" Oh, God, was I really saying that? Me?**

**When I was close enough, the creature took a swing at me with his talons and I ducked. Alex's transformation made him slower…and slimy. It flung onto my shirt…and burned through. The slime was acidic and it was eating through the material and to my skin.**

**The Alex creature swung at me again and I caught his - its? - arm, and immediately felt the sting from the acid on its skin. I turned us around, still hanging onto its arm, so we would be facing away from Dean. Dean would be able to do whatever he wanted without the Alex creature knowing. When I twisted, something popped in the arm I was holding, and the creature hissed and then snarled at me, swinging at me again. This time it actually sliced my arm with its talons.**

**I cried out in pain and let go of its other arm to clutch at my own. And then the Alex creature snarled again. In pain. Its eyes widened and it made a high-pitched weird sound, and then the creature slumped forward onto me, making me fall backward.**

"**Aly!"**

"**I'm okay. Just…get him -"**

**Oh God, the thing wasn't dead. It was trying to bite me now.**

"**It's not dead, it's not dead!"**

**The thing wasn't on me long - Dean moved it off me fast, grunting in pain in the process. Dean had apparently been burned from the acidic slime from the Alex creature's skin.**

**Then I heard a crunch and then smelled a very serious stench. When I looked towards the foulness I saw that Dean had used the dagger from his boot to slice through the creature's neck and now it was dead.**

**With the problem done, the pain from the acid-slime came rushing back. I would be okay once I washed off. But Dean… I forced myself up so I could see if Dean was okay. He was; he was actually standing over me to see if _I_ was okay.**

"**Aly?" He grabbed my hands, which were raw, and then let go. He removed his outer shirt and washed both of our hands with it. Like I'd thought, I healed as soon as the acid-slime was gone. Except for my arm where I'd been cut. Whatever had been on Alex's talons had gotten into my skin and that would have to heal on it's own, I guess.**

**Then it hit me that Dean had said my name. "Yeah?"**

"**Are you okay? I didn't know that thing had acid or whatever coming out of it. If I had, I wouldn't have asked you to -"**

"**I know," I cut him off gently. "I know. Now, give me your hands."**

**He complied, guilt still shining through his eyes. I knew it was because of his self-deprecation but I wished he wouldn't blame himself for everything. It's not like he was responsible for the Dark Ages of the fall of the Roman Empire. He hadn't know the thing had acid-slime stuff, he'd said so himself, so it wasn't his fault.**

**After his hands were healed I focused on Sam and Bobby, who were standing - kneeling over - Rachel. She'd fallen to the floor and was now…having a seizure? Her body was spasming. She was even foaming at the mouth.**

"**What's going on?" Dean asked. "What happened to her?"**

"**I don't know," Sam said. "She just started shaking. We put her on the floor so…she wouldn't hurt herself."**

**What were we supposed to do here? If we were to hold her down she could hurt herself or even one of us. But why was she even doing this anyway? What had happened? What had set her off?**

**As she continued shaking, the room began getting warmer and warmer. The words she'd said at the motel came to my mind. She couldn't always control her abilities. And now was clearly one of those times.**

"**We have to stop her, get her under control," I said. "She's gonna get hotter and hotter. She'll create a fire sooner or later."**

"**Well, how're we supposed to stop her?" Dean asked incredulously. "It's not like we can just make her stop shaking. Can we?"**

**All four of us were clueless about that one. The only way I knew how to permanently stop someone…**

"**I can do it," I said, and Dean looked at me, his eyes asking 'how?'. I shook my head and then moved closer to the convulsing girl on the floor. I took a deep breath and touched her arm with my hands, grabbing tight. Her skin was hot to the touch, and I silently wondered if she was going to explode or implode. If it was the latter, I could just let it happen naturally…I wouldn't have to…**

**I didn't reach out to her this time; I focused on puller her in. I didn't want her soul, it wasn't mine to take. I just wanted her life force. I needed to pull it away from her.**

**I felt the first strands of whatever I was tugging on come into me, and I immediately felt wrong. It was… The method of it was almost like pulling a demon from a person, but it felt completely different. Wrong, because I wasn't saving a life, I was taking it.**

**I couldn't close my eyes. I didn't want to watch the last threads of life washing away, but I had to. Her face would be forever etched into my memory.**

**And then…she was gone, but I had nothing to do with it. I stared down at the now unmoving body of Rachel, taking her in. Dean's hand was over her mouth and nose, making it impossible for her to have breathed.**

"**Dean, what're you doing?"**

**Dean didn't answer me, he just shook his head at me and looked back down at Rachel. Rachel was cooling off fast, so I guessed that meant we weren't in danger of burning to death anymore.**

**After we were sure that both Rachel and Alex were dead and neither were coming back, we decided to try and leave. Dean didn't say anything to me about…trying to kill Rachel. It may be cynical or callous, but that way I saw it…I'd had to do what I did. It was an easier and less painful way to take someone's life away. Less painful for Rachel. It would've been hard for me either way. And then Dean had done what he did. Why had he done it? I'd had it under control.**

**Surprisingly enough, we had no trouble getting out. The humans were happy and even a little relieved that Alex was dead. They were free again. I hoped they thought about it before they joined the next evil cult that came along. Even the things with the blue eyes were scattered without their master. Like they'd only been here for him, which…minions, so, duh.**

**Back at the motel I got a room of my own, leaving Bobby to his, and Sam and Dean to theirs. I wasn't feeling that much into company at the moment. And yet there was a knock at the door. My solitude wasn't meant to be. When I opened the door I saw Dean on the other side. An angry Dean.**

"**What?"**

"**Can we talk?" He didn't wait for an answer, he just came in. "We're gonna talk."**

"**Not feeling up to a conversation right now." I closed the door anyway. "I actually kind of wanted to go to sleep." Total lie, there.**

"**Go to sleep?" Dean crossed his arms over his chest. "You can actually sleep after what you tried to do?"**

"**What did I try to do?" Oh God, I didn't want to talk about this. Not now. I hadn't had time to process and go through everything on my own.**

"**You were gonna kill that girl," he said, barely keeping his voice under control. "With your abilities. Without even trying to save her first."**

"**Well, you _did_ kill her, so…" I clenched my jaw, hating myself for throwing that at him. He probably felt horrible enough as it was.**

"**I did it so you wouldn't have to."**

**I didn't know what to say to that. I hadn't asked him to do that. I never would have. Ever.**

"**I just - I thought it would've been easier for her. For Rachel." I wasn't angry, not like he was. I was…defensive maybe, but not angry. "We couldn't save her. And I thought…you know what it feels like. It doesn't hurt. It's like getting tired and going to sleep."**

"**Yeah, but why use your abilities when you can do something naturally?"**

"**Killing people isn't natural at all," I countered. "It was hard. You don't know how wrong I felt doing that. And, ya know" - I was getting a little angry now - "you can fight monsters naturally without weapons if you want. Don't recommend it though."**

"**That's different. You're protecting people, keeping them from getting hurt. This time you weren't helping someone, you were killing them."**

**I so wasn't in the mood for a lecture. I knew all this anyway, but it didn't change anything. It did make me a little ticked that he was saying the exact same thing I'd been thinking earlier while I'd been…killing Rachel.**

"**Aly, you're using your abilities way too much. Whenever something happens you don't even think, you just…I mean, taking someone's life away? It's not what your abilities are for and it's not good for you."**

"**You told me. You told me not to stop. I said I would for you, but you said -"**

"**You're scaring the hell outta me," he interrupted me. "You were gonna kill someone and it's like you don't even care!" I looked away from his accusing stare. "I mean, what do you want me to do, stand here and keep my mouth shut?**

**I didn't say anything. I didn't even look at him. I was scaring him? He thought I didn't care? Of course I cared. Just because I wasn't crying about it didn't mean I didn't care.**

"**If I didn't love you so much, maybe I would!"**

**I did look at him now. He didn't say he loved me very often, so it got my attention now. Maybe for the wrong reasons.**

"**You love me?" I scoffed. "You won't even be with me. I mean, I would understand if I'd done something wrong, but…I feel like I'm being punished here."**

**The anger lessened for a second. "I'm not doing this to punish you, Aly, you know that." The anger came back full force. "And that has nothing to do with your abilities. Stop changing the subject."**

"**I'm not. I… You don't know how I feel, Dean. You…"**

**I sat on the bed and ran my fingers through my hair. I'd been doing that a lot lately, mostly when I didn't want to talk about something.**

"**I have to do these things because at least I can control _that_. I'm getting stronger. If I had been strong before…I could've saved Sam, healed him, and you never would've had to -" I cut myself off, feeling a crying spell coming on.**

**The bed creaked as Dean sat beside me. I refused to look at him. I hadn't wanted to say any of that. I didn't want him to know how messed up in the head I was, but I couldn't seem to stop speaking.**

"**And it hurts. Because you chose _hell_ over me. And I know it was to save Sam, but it made me feel I wasn't enough. Because…you'd rather be in hell and have Sam alive…than be here with me without Sam."**

**There. I'd said it. All the hurt I'd been holding in. All the reasons I'd been acting strangely, not like myself. I hadn't known Dean had even noticed, but I guessed he had.**

"**And now you're pushing me away when I need you most and I just…I don't know what to do with myself." My eyes watered and I sniffled once. "I never expected to be your number one priority, but it hurt when I realized you didn't love me enough to let me help you."**

**God, I wanted him to leave. If he wasn't going to stay, I wanted him to leave. Because I was weak and stupid when it came to Dean. Too weak to do anything other than what he wanted, and too stupid to leave. The smart thing would be to leave now and never look back. But I couldn't. And I couldn't handle it if I bared my heart to him and he just left.**

"**You never told me any of this," Dean said, placing a hand on my leg. I tensed and stood up. He couldn't just do that.**

"**I couldn't. I didn't want you to know how…horribly messed up I am. I didn't want you to worry. Not when you have more than enough to worry about already."**

"**You didn't want me to worry?" He stood up too. "Good job with that." He came to me and wrapped his arms around me. "Come 'ere."**

"**No," I said weakly, pulling away. "Not if…not if you're just gonna leave again. I couldn't stand if you held me and then left."**

**Instead of backing off, he pulled me close again. His hands slid up to cup my face and he stared into my eyes intensely. My breaths came in small pants and he lowered his lips to mine. It was the sweetest kiss we'd ever shared, and it wasn't even really a kiss, it was a light brush of skin on skin. I shuddered from it.**

**He…he couldn't leave. Not now. Not after that…right?**

"**I'm not going anywhere."**

**Oh, thank God. I slumped against him and slid my arms around his waist. He led me to the bed and sat me down. He kneeled in front of me.**

"**I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't know how…hard it was for you. I mean, I knew you were hurting, but…I didn't know it was this bad. I thought you'd be able to handle it. It doesn't make sense for you to love me so much. I'm just me."**

"**I know you're you. That's why I love you."**

**This beautiful man in front of me was…so oblivious to the fact that he was everything I needed. I'd made it clear how much I loved him, right? It wasn't my fault he didn't know, he was just being Dean. Right?**

"**And you were right. I wouldn't let you help me. I didn't know how. Truth is, if the same thing happened tomorrow…I still wouldn't know how. But that has nothing to do with how much I love you. It's just…taking care of Sam was ingrained in me when I was a kid and…I couldn't just let him die. I couldn't."**

**I knew that last part. I didn't like it, but I knew it.**

"**And I thought keeping you at a distance would help make it easier…later. But…you're kinda goin' off the deep end."**

**I didn't even have the will to glare at him for that. Technically, he was right. I was going crazy having him so close but not being able to have him. I'd have lost it a long time ago if I hadn't had him. He'd been the one who'd been my anchor. Had kept me grounded in this tipsy-turvy world.**

"**I won't push you away anymore. Not now that you told me what it's doing to you."**

**How had he not known? Was I that good at hiding things from him, concealing all that I felt?**

"**So…you're gonna stay tonight?"**

"**Yeah," he said and kissed my hair. "Yeah, I'll stay."**

"**Good." I leaned forward and pressed my forehead against his. "Because you make me feel better."**

**Sometimes it felt like our relationship was the only sane thing I had in this decidedly insane and unfair world. While he was here I needed him with me. I was glad he was beginning to see that.**

* * *

Okay, so...I think this chapter ended weird. Or, maybe not weird exactly, but I thought it was missing something. I wasn't even going to make Dean change his mind yet, but I think with Aly just being flat-out honest about what she was feeling, he would probably see the error of his ways. I loved the part about him not understand _why_ she's so in love with him because that's just so Dean. So yeah...to sum up, I have mixed feelings about this chapter. Anyway, enjoy, and thanks in advance to those who review.


	11. Bad Day at Black Rock Pt One

**Hey, people, readers, faithful viewers (I'm trying to suck up to you people because I've taken so long to update) Anyway, at first it was because I had the worst writer's block known to man. Exaggerating there, but it was the worst writer's block known to me. And then after the writer's block wore off, I just felt like I didn't have the will to write, which is stupid but that's how I felt. Anyway, writer's block is gone now, and my will to write is back, so you can probably expect faster updates. I know I used to update like at least twice a week, whereas now I've only been update like once every two weeks. Anyway, should be getting faster, hopefully. Thanks for sticking with me.**

**Bad Day at Black Rock  
Part One**

**Things with Dean were different. When he'd stayed with me that one night in Ohio he'd laid down some ground rules.**

**Number one: We couldn't do the soul connecting thing. I'd argued about that for about 2.5 seconds, and then Dean said if we didn't do it his way, he couldn't do it at all. So I agreed, not wanting him to leave.**

**Number two: We couldn't be…physically intimate with each other. Not sexually. I didn't argue with that. I didn't want to argue again; I didn't want him to threaten to leave again.**

**Number three: I had to tone down on the power using thing. I had to stop acting like I was the only one in this. There were three of us - and with Bobby there were four - in this, so I had to stop making decisions without discussing them first. Especially ones that could be potentially lethal. I thought that was rich coming from Mr. Dean sold-his-soul Winchester, but I didn't say anything. I was getting what I wanted, mostly, so I couldn't complain.**

**Number four: No more socializing with Ruby. She was a demon. I should get rid of her, not talk to her. I agreed to those terms even though in the back of my mind I remembered she'd said she could help save Dean. God, she was probably lying through her demonic teeth. If demons even had teeth, I wasn't too sure of that part. Weren't they made of smoke? Whatever. The point was, she was probably lying. She was probably using my fear of losing Dean against me. But I couldn't destroy her. Not when that 'what if' was hanging in the air. But Ruby probably knew that.**

**Anyway, Sam understood where I was coming from. He didn't think I was being an idiot for wanting to be sure Ruby was for real. Neither of us trusted her, of course, but we had no problem using her. Sam was even sure that she knew about the war going on. More than we did, anyway. If Ruby was for real, then she would be able to tell us where the enemy was, what they were doing, and what they wanted.**

**It was risky, but if it would save Dean, I'd personally send Ruby a fruit basket. Or an order of French fries; she seemed to like those.**

**But Ruby didn't matter so much right now, because we were in New York, just outside of Buffalo. Dean had been keeping John's old phone on in case any of his old contacts tried to call, and someone actually called. John had kept a storage room here and somebody had broken into it. Sam and Dean wanted to check it out, so here we were.**

**We had to get into an elevator to get to the room. It was one of those old ones that cages you in. I hesitated before getting in the death box. I hated elevators. I remembered telling Sam that once and he'd laughed, told me I was paranoid for being scared of them.**

**Neither Sam nor Dean knew about the storage room, so neither knew what to expect. When the cage door opened to the storage unit, Sam broke open the lock to the door since we didn't have a key. On the floor inside there was a Devil's Trap, and then blood leading away from it.**

"**No demons allowed," Sam said.**

"**And blood," Dean added. Fresh blood, at that. Whoever had been here had been attacked by something. "Hey, check this out," Dean said, leaning down to see something. "Tripwire. And" - he looked to where the wire lead to - "a shotgun." He chuckled. Actually, it was more a scoff than a chuckle. "Dear old Dad." He stood up. "There are two sets of boot tracks here. Looks like it was a two-man job, and our friend with the buckshot in him looks like he kept walking."**

"**Probably not professionals," I said. "Probably didn't know your dad or they wouldn't have fallen for a tripwire."**

**Moving further into the room I saw filing cabinets, shelves, and all kinds of other…stuff. Sam found a soccer trophy he'd won when he'd been younger.**

"**I didn't know you played soccer," I said.**

"**Yeah, I was, what, eleven or twelve?" Sam asked, looking at Dean for confirmation.**

"**It's probably the closest you ever came to being a boy."**

**So, Sam had played soccer? I bet Dean went to ever single one of his games, too.**

**The two guys went through a few more boxes and Dean found a sawed-off shotgun.**

"**I made it myself," he said, pleased. "In the sixth grade."**

**I had to stop at that. He was making weapons when he was in the sixth grade? That was kind of amazing. I'd known that Dean had watched out for Sam all his life, but to be making weapons at that age, and knowing why…amazing. And scary. And…how had he done it?**

**When I'd been in sixth grade I'd been what? Eleven? And I definitely hadn't been making weapons. I'd been…doing homework, studying for tests, doing normal kid stuff. Having sleepovers, playing outside, having unrealistic dreams of becoming a singer or an actress. Like I said…normal kid stuff.**

**Dean, though…he'd never had any of that. He'd never been able to be normal, probably didn't even know how to be normal.**

**Shaking myself out of my thoughts, I realized the three of us were in a room filled with weapons. It looked like John had been ready for war. Which…knowing him, he probably had been.**

"**Look at this," Dean said. "He had land mines…which they didn't take. Or the guns. I guess they knew what they were after, huh?"**

**Sam and Dean continued looking around. I didn't because John hadn't been _my_ dad. I didn't feel right just going through his stuff.**

"**Hey, Dean. Check this out," Sam said, staring at a bunch of boxes on a shelf. The boxes were made of metal and wood, and they had weird designs on them. "See these symbols? That's binding magic. These are curse boxes."**

"**Curse boxes? Binding magic?" It'd been a while since we'd come across something I hadn't heard of, and I didn't like it. It made me uneasy.**

"**They're supposed to keep the evil mojo in," Dean explained. "Kind of like a Pandora's deal."**

"**I guess this was Dad's toxic waste dump," Sam said. "And one box is missing," he added, taking a closer look. Sure enough there was a box sized shape where dust had collected around something that had been removed.**

"**Well, maybe they didn't open it," Dean said, trying to be optimistic.**

"**We can hope," I said, wondering what was in it. Whatever it was had to be bad and powerful or it wouldn't have been in a curse box.**

"**Come on, they've gotta have security for this place," Dean said. "Let's go see what we can see."**

* * *

**The head of security around here was a guy named Bill and he was pretty much a pig. He looked to be in his forties. His hair was graying on the sides and he was pretty much bald on top. He hit on me the entire time we were reviewing the tapes. Actually, I was pretty sure that was the reason he was _letting_ us review the tapes; I was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to.**

**The tapes showed two men who looked like criminals - which, duh - breaking into the storage room. They had an old car - a Pinto, maybe - with the plate number CTC 880.**

"**They should've blacked out the plates before parking in front of a security camera," Dean said.**

**Bill wasn't really paying attention to Dean; he was more paying attention to me. Perverted old man. He flipped my hair back away from my face and traced my neck with his fingers. I flinched away. Until just then, he'd kept his hands to himself and it hadn't really bothered me, it had just been annoying.**

"**Okay, that's enough of that," Dean said, pulling me behind him. "She obviously doesn't like that."**

"**She's just playing hard to get. Right, honey?"**

**Honey? Ew.**

"**Actually, she's playing the game of 'not interested'. Besides, we're done here."**

**Thank God. Dean slid his arm around my back and pushed me gently forward so I could walk out before him and Sam.**

"**We need to find the address for that license plate," Dean said. "And get that box back."**

* * *

**It didn't take all that long to find the address; Sam used his laptop and hit pay dirt within ten minutes. The car belonged to a man named Wayne, and he lived in an apartment complex nearby. So that's where we were headed now. When we got to the apartment building we parked beside the car we'd seen on the security footage.**

"**A'right, Aly, just stay in the car. This won't take long," Dean said. "Sam and I will go, pretend to be cops, and get the box. It'll look suspicious if there're three of us."**

**I didn't like the idea of being left behind, but what Dean had said made sense, so I didn't complain.**

"**Okay, fine, but can you leave the keys so I can keep the radio on?"**

"**Uh-huh." He left the car on and looked at Sam. "Come on."**

**After Dean and Sam left I climbed over the seat to get in the front. I switched through the radio stations and stopped on some country music song. Dean would change it back when he got back.**

**I wasn't even through two songs when I heard a gunshot coming from the building Sam and Dean had gone into. A war started raging inside me. What Dean wanted me to do, and what _I_ wanted to do. Dean said to stay in the car…but hearing a gunshot would totally make his request null and void, right?**

**_Yes_, I decided, _it would_. Because if the roles had been reversed and Dean had been the one waiting, he wouldn't have even had to think before running toward the gunshot.**

**I cut the car off and jumped out and then I stopped. Sam hadn't actually said what room number the two criminal guys were staying in. Dean hadn't mentioned it, either. I wondered if that had been intentional or just coincidental.**

**Either way, I didn't know which room to go to, and when I reached the entrance of the building I began to reach out to Dean - just to see where he was - but then pulled back almost immediately. Did this count as 'soul connecting'? Could he feel it? Would he get mad? Did I care if he got mad?**

**Of _course_ I cared, but I could easily justify reaching out to him. A gun had been fired and they were inside. So I reached out and followed the feeling that was solely Dean. It lead me to an open door upstairs. Sam, Dean, and the two guys from the tape were in the room and only Sam and Dean were standing. So…apparently…they didn't need my help.**

**The two criminal guys were knocked out. One was near a broken bookshelf, the other near a broken table. Sam and Dean were there looking confused, like they didn't know how the other two guys had gotten the way they were.**

"**That was a lucky break," Dean said, not noticing I was there. "Is that a rabbit's foot?"**

"**I think it is," Sam said disbelievingly. He held it up; it being an ugly grey thing.**

"**Huh."**

"**Um…what happened?" I asked, and their eyes fell on me.**

"**Hey," Dean said. "How long you been standin' there?" Something about the way he'd said that put me on edge. He sounded like he was accusing me of something.**

"**A few seconds. I didn't do this, if that's what you mean. I heard a gunshot and I came. The only thing I did was find you guys. Just now. I don't even know what happened." I felt a full out rant coming on. "I _told_ you - promised you - I wouldn't do anything unless I had to. So if you don't trust me, I can't help that. I mean, if I can't make you believe me then -"**

"**I believe you," Dean said, throwing his hands up in surrender. "Don't get you panties in a twist. We've gotta go, anyway. If you heard the noise from all the way outside then there's no telling how many people heard it in here."**

* * *

**When we got back to the car, the first thing Dean did was get out John's journal. He handed it to Sam. "You read, I'll drive."**

**As soon as the car started moving I began thinking. Dean didn't trust me, didn't trust that I'd listen to him. When had I even _not_ listened to him? Even when I was pissed off, madder than a hellcat, I listened to him. Granted, I listened _better_ if I was gonna do it anyway, but I always took what he said to heart. Didn't he know that? The only thing I'd ever really went against him on was when he'd refused to be with me and that was only because I was falling apart. I felt like I couldn't hold myself together without him here. He was like my super glue or something.**

**And now…he didn't trust me. Not that I'd given him much reason to lately. I had been acting a little crazy, what with the using my abilities freely. Being civil to demons. Using my power to suck the life out of a human. Those were just a few crazy things I'd done. But worse than that, worse than the fact that I'd become stupid and reckless, was that I'd become selfish. I'd been too caught up in my stuff, my own anger and grief, that I'd totally overlooked Dean's own feelings. He would never say so, but he was probably scared shitless. He was going to _Hell_, and I'd been too preoccupied with how I felt to even stop and consider how _he_ was feeling. He was going to die and suffer perpetual torment and there was abso-fucking-lutely nothing I could do about it. Nothing anyone could do…not without having Sam die, and I wasn't so far gone that I wanted that to happen. I loved Sam, too, only in the sibling-I-don't-wanna-sleep-with-you way.**

**As I thought I watched as trees blurred by the window. Summer was slowly fading into fall. It was the middle of September. It had been almost four whole months since Dean had made the deal to save Sam. Four months, which meant he only had eight months left. Time was moving too fast. Minutes turned to hours, hours to days, days to weeks, and weeks to months so quickly that it was almost too fast for me to follow along.**

**I wanted to pause time here, make it where Dean would never go away, never be -**

"**I'm not finding anything on it in Dad's journal," Sam's voice broke my train of thought. "But it's gotta be cursed somehow. Otherwise, Dad wouldn't have locked it up."**

**What was he talking about? Had they been talking while I'd been lost in thought?**

"**What's gotta be cursed," I asked.**

"**The rabbit's foot, Miss Attention Span," Dean teased.**

**We pulled into a convenient store parking lot and Dean slid into a space.**

"**Come with me," he said, glancing over his shoulder at me and getting out of the car.**

**I obeyed like a faithful puppy, which wasn't as pathetic as it sounded, and followed him to the door.**

"**Do you think you could possibly keep your feelings to yourself? I felt what you were feeling without even touching you, which makes me think it was never me reading you, just you being open around me." He said all this in a rushed whisper. "It's very distracting."**

**So…what, I was projecting my feelings now? I didn't think I could help that. I couldn't just shut my feelings off. Or my thoughts.**

"**I'm sorry," I said. "I just…everything's going on in my head all at once. I didn't mean to…distract you."**

"**It's okay. Just thought I should give you a head's up. And I _do_ trust you, it's just -"**

"**No, you don't. But I get it. I've been…not myself lately. But…I'll do better. I promise."**

**We stepped into the store and Dean went straight to the lottery card machine.**

"**Dean, what're you doin'?" I asked, almost amused.**

"**Testing the rabbit's foot," he answered.**

"**Sam has the rabbit's foot. Shouldn't he be buying them?"**

"**He wouldn't do it on his own."**

**Yeah, he was probably right.**

"**What happened in there? The apartment?"**

"**Well, at first the luck was on their side. Then Sam grabbed the foot and the luck switched. They took _themselves_ out. We didn't have to do anything."**

"**Huh. Well…huh." Maybe that was a little…lucky. But…and I couldn't believe I was thinking this…but maybe it was a coincidence. We couldn't have bad luck all the time, right? It was way past the due date for something good to happen.**

"**Not to mention, they used _my_ gun to try and shoot Sam, and nothing. My gun don't jam."**

"**Huh…" Obviously I wasn't in a talkative mood today.**

**When we reached the car Dean told Sam to scratch and win! Sam did so reluctantly, rolling his eyes. Then he handed the ticket back to Dean.**

"**Twelve hundred dollars. You just won twelve-hundred dollars." Dean laughed and cheered, holding out another ticket. A genuine smile broke across my face at Dean's enthusiasm and my heart felt lighter than it had before. For now.**

* * *

**After Sam scratched about five more tickets, winning each time. Dean began counting in his head. It looked like he was using the air as a piece of paper or possibly a chalkboard. Sam called Bobby and since we were in a semi-public place, he didn't use speaker phone. We were in the parking lot of the store still, and I was sure random passerby's wouldn't understand anything about the rabbit's foot. Dean didn't seem too worried about it, but it bugged me. I knew Sam would tell us what Bobby said, but it was still annoying, not hearing it directly.**

"**Now, look, Bobby, we didn't know." He'd been talking about the rabbit's foot, and now there was something we didn't - hadn't? - known. "Well, Dad never told us about this thing. I mean, you knew about his storage place at Black Rock?"**

**Sam paused, walking forward and bent over for something. . . A gold watch. He held it out for us to see. Dean mouthed 'awesome' and got back to counting.**

"**Do you want some paper? Or you could always use the calculator on your phone."**

"**No, I'm" - Dean glanced at me. "My phone has a calculator?"**

"**Yeah, you wanna use it?"**

"**No, I still remember how to count."**

**It hadn't surprised me that he hadn't known about the calculator. Technological stuff was Sam's area. I remembered once that Dean hadn't even known what MySpace was. He'd thought it was some porn site.**

"**It's a hell of a luck charm," I heard Sam say and then… "so, I won't lose it, Bobby." Another pause. "Well, then, how do we break the curse?"**

**A few seconds later Sam hung up, not looking very happy. "Bobby said it is a curse. Some hoodoo woman made it about a hundred years ago. If I lose it…Bobby said I'll be dead in a week. The luck turns bad. Bobby's looking for a way to destroy it."**

"**Bobby'll find a way to break it," Dean said. "Until then, just make sure you don't lose it."**

* * *

**About an hour later, we were at a restaurant called Biggerson's. Sam had won this Millionth Customer thing so we got to eat free. For a year. Dean was thrilled.**

**Sam ate a salad while researching; Dean had steak and fries, and he was working on ice cream now; I'd had a double cheeseburger.**

"**Bobby's right. This lore goes way back - pure hoodoo. You can't just cut one off any rabbit. It has to be in a cemetery, under a full moon, on a Friday the thirteenth."**

**Dean was paying attention, sort of, but he was also wolfing down his ice cream like it was going out of style.**

"**If you don't slow down you're gonna get a brain freeze."**

**Dean shook his head, taking another bite. "I think from now on, we only go to places with Biggerson's." And then he grabbed his forehead because, as I'd predicted a few seconds earlier…he got brain freeze. I resisted the urge to say 'I told you so'.**

**A waitress appeared. She had short, black hair, and she flirted with Sam, who seemed…embarrassed? Or maybe just shy. The girl refilled Sam's coffee cup, spilling some in the process.**

"**Sorry about that," she said, leaning in close and giggling.**

"**That's all right."**

**Waitress chick gave him a smile and walked away. Both Sam and Dean checked her out as she left. I rolled my eyes. _Men_.**

"**Dude. If you were _ever_ gonna get lucky…" Dean started.**

"**Shut up," Sam said, smiling bashfully.**

**He grabbed his cup, and it fell out of his hand, spilling on the table and his lap. He stood up and knocked over a waiter. The waiter and his tray of food fell to the floor.**

**Dean stared, confused. "How is that good?"**

**Sam reached into his jacket pocket and turned it inside out. "Uh, it's gone."**

"**Son of a bitch!" Dean said. "Come on."**

**Had the waitress taken it, or had it fallen out earlier and we just didn't know until now?**

"**Sam, you go see if you can find that girl. Aly and I will look outside."**

**Outside, Dean and I took off in different directions, circling the building and meeting in the middle. We found nothing, so we went back inside to get Sam. He wasn't at the table, so I figured he was getting info on the waitress chick.**

**While waiting, some news show came on. Some guy had fallen…on a barbecue fork? How was that even possible? It showed an apartment building - the one we'd been to earlier.**

"**I think we should get Sam to a padded room," I said. "That last guy…it didn't take very long for him to die."**

"**Sam's not gonna die," Dean said, taking my hand. "Bobby's lookin' for a way to break the curse."**

"**Yeah, but we don't have the foot anymore, and we don't know where it is."**

"**We'll find it, Aly." I could tell he was trying to reassure himself as much as me.**

"**Okay, the girl didn't work here," Sam said, coming up to us. "No one had any idea who I was talking about."**

**We weren't surprised about that. It had been expected. We told Sam about the guy who'd had the foot before. About the guy's death by BBQ fork. Which meant we needed to go back to the apartment complex to talk to the dead guy's partner.**

* * *

**Out in the parking lot, jogging toward the car, Sam tripped over himself, and fell to his knees.**

"**Wow, you suck," Dean said, helping Sam up. "I guess your luck has turned bad now."**

"**Yeah, I guess."**

"**I wonder how bad," Dean said pensively.**

**At the car, I hesitated before getting in. Did Sam's bad luck affect all of us? God, I hoped not, because if it did, we'd all be dead before we even got to the apartment.**

"**We'll be fine as long as Sam doesn't drive," Dean said when I voiced my thoughts out loud.**

"**Fine," I said. "But if I die, I'm coming back to haunt you."**

**The three of us got in the car, Sam hitting his head in the process. But other than that minor incident…we made it to the apartment complex without any complications.**

"**Did you want me to wait here again?" I asked.**

"**Nah, you can come. Sam might hurt himself on the way up."**

**Sam didn't hurt himself on the way up, and when we reached the room we found the dead guy's partner sitting in the middle of the room crying and drinking. I wasn't sure, but those two things probably didn't go well together.**

"**Oh, man, what do you want?" Obviously, he wasn't happy to see Sam or Dean.**

"**Heard about your friend," Dean said. "That's bad luck."**

"**Piss off."**

"**We know someone hired you to steal the rabbit's foot. A woman."**

"**Oh, yeah? How d'you know that?"**

"**Because she just stole it back from us," Dean admitted.**

**The guy laughed. I didn't understand what was so funny. Didn't he know _why_ his friend had died? Hadn't he put two and two together yet?**

"**Listen, man, this is -" Sam began, stepping forward, tripping over a cord in the process.**

**I instinctively reached out for him, grabbing onto his arm, but instead of steadying him, he took me down with him. I landed on him with an _oomph_ and the air got knocked out of me. Something made a smashing noise and I looked to see a stereo had fallen of a shelf.**

"**Guys, you okay?" Dean called out.**

"**Yeah, I'm good," Sam grunted.**

"**Me, too. Winded, but good."**

"**I want you to tell us her name," Dean said, apparently getting back to business.**

"**Screw you," the guy said.**

**_Wrong_ _answer_, I thought as I got up, helping Sam to his feet.**

"**It wasn't a freak accident that killed your partner."**

"**What?"**

"**It was the rabbit's foot."**

**The drunk guy scoffed. "You're crazy, man."**

"**You know I'm not," Dean countered. "You saw what happened, what it did, all the flukes, all the luck. When you lose the foot that luck goes sour. That's what killed your friend. My brother here is next. And who knows how many more innocent people after that. Now, if you don't help us stop this thing that puts those deaths on your head." The guy's expression changed and I could tell Dean was getting to him. "Now, I can read people. And I get it: You're a thief and a scumbag. That's fine. But you're not a killer. Are you?"**

**The guy looked down, shaking his head. "No, I'm not. All I know is the name she gave me. Lugosi."**

**Lugosi? Wasn't that Italian?**

"**That's all you know?" Dean asked in a 'don't lie to me' voice.**

"**Yeah. I swear."**

* * *

**Once we reached the parking lot Dean's phone went off.**

"**Bobby," he said, looking at the screen. "Hello?"**

**As we were walking Sam stopped suddenly and his face took on an annoyed expression.**

"**What?" I asked, letting Dean go on ahead.**

**He _harrumphed_, and then lifted his foot up. On the bottom of his shoe was a big wad of gum. Ew.**

"**Bobby, that's great. Except Sam, uh…Sam lost the foot. This hot chick stole it from him. I'm serious. In her mid-twenties, and she was sharp, ya know? Good enough of a con to play us. And she only gave the guys she hired a name - probably an alias or something - Luigi or something."**

"**Lugosi," Sam and I said in unison.**

**Sam began rubbing the bottom of his shoe against a sewer grate and it was working a little. Until his shoe slipped off, that is.**

"**Bela Lugosi? That's cute."**

**Bela Lugosi? Wasn't that the guy who played Dracula?**

"**Thanks, Bobby. Again," Dean said, hanging up. When he looked at Sam, who looked like he'd just been diagnosed with cancer of the puppy, he said, "What?"**

"**I lost my shoe," he sulked.**

**I laughed. I couldn't help it. He just sounded so pitiful. Dean shook his head and rolled his eyes. Sam…pouted. There was no other word for what he was doing.**

"**Oh, come on. Lighten up. It's not the end of the world," I said, grabbing his arm. "You can get another pair of shoes. A better pair."**

"**Yeah," Dean agreed. "Meanwhile, Bobby's got it on pretty good authority that this Bela chick lives in Queens. So, it'll take me about two hours to get there."**

"**You?" I asked. "What are Sam and I gonna do?"**

"**You guys are staying here. Motel. You, Aly, can baby-sit."**

**The fact that Sam didn't complain…just supported how serious this was.**

* * *

Okay, so...not too happy with this chapter, don't know why. I mean, Dean and Aly are still having it rough, but it's to be expected. Although, with him not keeping her at a distance, she's getting more and more like her old self, which I'd like her to be at least by the end of this season. I mean, she's still gonna have a hard time without him of course, but she'll already had been through her griefy poor me spell, so she won't have to go through that without him. And then poor Sam. I felt so sorry for him - in a totally funny way - in this episode. And the whole 'I lost my shoe' thing...I laugh every time I see that part. It's just so funny that he can look that sad over a shoe. LOL


	12. Bad Day at Black Rock Pt Two

**Okay, I know, I suck. I told you guys I'd update faster and then I didn't. I'm really sorry. It's just life stuff keeps getting in the way. (I mean I'm sure I could fill ten pages with stuff that keeping me from writing and updating at the moment, but I won't.) Seriously, though, I've been meaning to update since Saturday, but then stuff got in the way until now. And I know this is short, but again, life stuff keeps getting in the way, so I'm not getting inspired easily.**

**Anyway...enjoy.**

**Bad Day At Black Rock  
Part Two**

**Since Dean hadn't wanted Sam's bad luck to get us killed he'd left Sam and me in Black Rock. I thought it would've been better to take us to Queens with him, but Dean had obviously taken up my earlier train of thought: That Sam's bad luck might pass on to us if we were around him for too long, and having him in the car was an accident waiting to happen.**

**So now I was on Sam-setting duty. We were in the motel room doing pretty much nothing. Dean had told Sam not to move, just to sit there and not do anything. So that's what he was doing, and he was bored, and rocking back and forth in his chair. His chair that had a table behind it.**

"**Sam, you're gonna fall and hit your head if you keep doing that." It was like talking to a three-year-old. He wasn't three, though, he was twenty-five. Shouldn't he know better?**

"**I'm sorry," he said, stopping. "I'm just…bored."**

"**Do you wanna watch TV?" I asked. "We can watch TV."**

"**No, I…" He sighed. "I wanna ask you something."**

"**Okay. Shoot."**

"**Do you think we can save Dean? Or that _you_ can? Because I've been looking and…nothing. There's nothing."**

**God, did I _not_ want to talk about this.**

"**I don't know, Sam. I mean, if I thought I could without you dying, I would try _today_, but…I don't think I can. So I'm not gonna risk it."**

"**Hm. You mean you've not gonna risk losing Dean if you killed me in the process." He didn't sound mad or anything…he was just stating his opinion.**

"**Dean isn't the only one I care about, Sam," I said. "Besides, Dean won't let us try anything, remember? He doesn't want anything happening to you. _I_ don't want anything happening to you."**

"**Well, what about Ruby? She said she could -"**

"**No," I interrupted. "Dean doesn't trust her. She's a demon. I don't even have her number on my phone anymore."**

"**But if she could save Dean -"**

"**Then, yeah, I'd use her in a heartbeat," I said. "But so far…nothing. I mean, she keeps throwing that in our faces, but she knows that's what we want." More than anything in the world.**

* * *

**Two hours later Sam's boredom was rubbing off on _me_, so I turned on the TV. Loudly. It was because I wanted to drown out Sam's sighs. I knew it was because he _couldn't_ do anything. I mean, he was never Mr. Excitement to begin with, but now he couldn't do anything and it was bugging him. And _he_ was bugging _me_.**

**He kept sighing like he was suffering the worst punishment known to man. Boredom was what he was suffering. He'd read a little, but had stopped when he kept getting paper cuts. We played cards, but that was no fun because I knew I was going to win. So now we were watching TV.**

**Some show about three witches was on. _Charmed_ or something. Alyssa something was in it.**

**When Sam sighed again I got up from the bed. I'd had enough.**

"**Okay, I'm going to go get a drink and some snacks from the machine. You want anything?" Was it safe for him to have anything? I mean, if he was ever going to get food poisoning, it would be today.**

"**No, I'm good," he answered, looking like he'd been thinking what I'd been thinking.**

"**Okay, well, I'll be back in a minute." When I reached the door I turned back around. "Don't break anything." I reconsidered. "Just don't _touch_ anything." He'd been sitting in the chair Dean had placed him in the whole time, so I thought I'd go one step further. "What you're doing right now, not moving? That's good. Keep doing that."**

**I already had a room key in my pocket, so I left and headed straight for the snack machines, which I assumed were close by. I didn't really know. I'd have to see. On the way, I saw one of those RV Camper things in the motel parking lot. If you had one of those…why would you spend money on a motel room? Wasn't that what they were for: Living in?**

**Whatever. Wasn't my problem. When I reached the snack machine I got a Pepsi and a bag of Cheetos. On the way back to the room I noticed that two guys were peering into our room. What were they doing?**

"**Um…can I help you guys?" I asked as I reached them.**

**They both looked like hicks and one even had Bill Ingval facial hair. The other just had a crazy look about him.**

"**You can give us your room key," the crazy one said.**

"**Why would I do that?" I challenged.**

"**Well, we could always make you," the other one said, grabbing me and shoving my head against the door. As I began to black out, it occurred to me that Sam's bad luck seemed to be affecting _me_ now.**

* * *

**When I came to I heard someone saying something about…Jerry Lewis stacking chairs. What the hell? Or maybe it was riding stacked chairs. Whatever.**

"**Who are you?" That was Sam. "What d'you want?"**

**There was a snapping noise and then another voice. "I used to think your friend Gordon sent me." That was the crazy guy. I recognized the voice.**

"**Gordon? Oh, come on."**

**Were they talking about Gordon _Walker_? I thought he was in jail.**

"**Because he asked me to track you down and put a bullet in your brain. But as it turns out, I'm on a mission from God."**

**I heard the sound of flesh hitting flesh and my head snapped up, eyes widening. I was back in the motel room, tied to a chair. Sam was actually duct-taped to a chair. I saw that the crazy one was the one who had hit Sam and that he already had a bruise forming on his cheek. Had he been hit before, or was that from the force of this hit?**

"**You were a part of that demon plan to open the gate, weren't you?"**

**Jeeze, were we back to this again? Did _everyone_ think we were responsible for that?**

"**We did everything we could to stop it," Sam answered.**

"**Lie, lie, lie. You were in on it. You know what their next move is, too, don't you?"**

"**No, I don't, okay? You're wrong about all this."**

"**Where are they gonna hit us next?" When Sam didn't answer, the crazy one hit him again. "Where?"**

"**Stop it!" I said. "You said you're on a 'mission from God', right?" That got the crazy guy's attention. "Well, what kind of God would demand his life for something he has no control over?"**

"**You stay out of this. This isn't about you."**

"**Uh, you kind of pulled me in when you _slammed my head against the door_."**

"**Gag her," the crazy one told…the less crazy one. I didn't know these guys names, so sue me. Then he turned back to Sam. "Gordon told me about you, Sam. About your powers. You're some kind of weirdo psychic freak."**

"**No, you're speaking out of fear," I said, moving my head to avoid the cloth the less crazy one was trying to put in my mouth. "Just because you don't understand something doesn't make it evil."**

"**Shut up!" the crazy one shouted. "There's an army of demons out there, pushing at a world already on the brink. We're on the deck for the end game here, right? So maybe, just maybe, you can understand why we can't take chances."**

**Suddenly the crazy guy had a gun, and the less crazy guy grabbed at my chin. I bit him and he jerked away.**

"**Oh, okay. Hold on a minute."**

**Less crazy guy looked toward Sam and the really crazy guy.**

"**Kubrick…" the less crazy guy sounded like he didn't actually agree with the gun thing.**

"**No. You saw what happened, Creedy. Ask yourself: Why are we here? Because you saw a picture on the Web? Because we chose _this_ motel instead of another? Luck like that doesn't just happen."**

**While he was talking, I _tried_ to flick the gun away with my mind, but it didn't work. What the hell? Why wasn't it working?**

"**Look," Sam started. "I can explain all of this -"**

"**Shut up," Kubrick said, and then he turned back to Creedy. "It's God. He led us here for one reason; to do his work. This is destiny."**

**I focused really hard on throwing the gun away, but got nothing for my efforts. Then I heard the cock of the gun and tried again. _Work, damn it_.**

"**Nope, no destiny." Dean's voice. I looked toward him; I hadn't even heard him come in. He had a gun aimed at Kubrick. "Just a rabbit's foot."**

**Creedy had his hands up in surrender so at least he was cooperating.**

**Kubrick, on the other hand… "Put the gun down, son, or you're gonna be scraping brain off the wall."**

"**Oh, this thing?" Dean gestured down to his gun.**

"**Yeah, that thing." Kubrick answered.**

"**Okay." He put the gun down on the table by the bed. "But you see, there's something about me that you don't know."**

"**Yeah, what would that be?"**

"**It's my lucky day." He grabbed a pen from the table and threw it. It landed right in the barrel of Kubrick's gun. "Oh my God, did you see that shot?"**

**That was pretty much my thought exactly. I assumed he'd gotten the rabbit's foot; he couldn't have done that if he hadn't. I mean, Dean was awesome and all, but no one was _that_ good.**

**Creedy ended up knocking himself out by running into a wall, trying to hit Dean. And Kubrick was knocked unconscious when Dean threw a remote and hit him in the head. If I hadn't been tied up, I probably would've clapped gleefully.**

"**You got the foot, I take it," I said.**

"**Yeah. What the hell happened?"**

"**Gordon," Sam said as Dean began cutting the tape off of him.**

"**Walker?" Dean shook his head. "He sent them after you?"**

"**Yeah. And they know about Sam's powers."**

"**They do?" He looked at the two unconscious guys and then at me. "Ya know, when I told you not to use your abilities as much I didn't mean when someone was trying to _kill_ you."**

"**I _tried_." Did he really think I'd just sit here and do nothing? "It didn't work."**

"**What d'you mean it didn't work?" Dean asked, coming to untie me now.**

"**I mean…I tried to make him lose his gun, but I couldn't."**

"**Hm." Dean's expression was guarded, so I couldn't tell exactly how he felt about that. As for me? I was worried. I hadn't had a problem with controlling my abilities in a long time, so…why the sudden mishap?**

**After Sam and I were able to move freely, we got our stuff together and left as quickly as possible. Once in the car Dean asked how the two creeps had even got in the room.**

"**Um…that was kind of my fault," I said. "I went to get something from the machine and when I came back they were there. They kind of knocked me out and used my room key."**

"**Yeah, well, don't feel bad," Sam said. "I knocked _myself_ out."**

**I grinned a little. "Did you fall backwards in your chair?"**

"**No, the air conditioner caught fire."**

"**Oh." Wow, we really needed to reverse his luck. He was starting to affect inanimate objects now. "So, what do we do now? I mean, how do we destroy the foot?"**

"**Well, I called Bobby on the way back," Dean began, "and he said we can't do anything until nightfall. And we're gonna need supplies, and a cemetery."**

"**So, what happened with you?" Sam asked. "How'd you get the foot back?"**

"**I'm amazing. That's how I got it back," Dean said, grinning widely. Then he sobered pretty quickly. "No, I was lucky. The chick had it on her counter, just laying there out in the open. I just grabbed it."**

"**Well, however much luck was involved…I'm glad you got it back," I said. "Now we just need to wait it out." Without Sam having another accident.**

* * *

"**Hey, you know, I was thinking," Sam started as we pulled up to a new-agey store we were going to get our supplies from, "we should try and fix the Colt. Since you don't want Aly using her powers as much, we're gonna need something to kill the demons with."**

"**Not a bad idea," Dean said. "We'll stop at Bobby's after we take care of this. If anyone can fix it, it's him."**

"**I thought all it needed was, like, blessed ammunition or something," I said.**

"**It needs some kind of special ammo, I just don't know what," Dean said.**

**All three of us went in the store; I was kind of hoping that Dean's good luck would counter Sam's bad luck. But it didn't seem to work that way. Sam still tripped over his own two feet. He was so clumsy now it was almost a disability.**

"**We'll have to be in research mode, I guess," Dean said. "That's exciting, ain't it, Sammy."**

**I rolled my eyes; Dean was always joking about Sam's almost unhealthy love of research. _I_ didn't see the problem with it, but Dean was always picking on him. Sam was probably thinking if we could get the Colt working, we could use it against the crossroad demon and save Dean. Which was…an intriguing idea.**

"**I'll help you, Sam. I'm sure we'll find something in one of Bobby's books." Now back to the current situation. "What supplies do we need?"**

"**Cayenne pepper," Dean said. "And bone ash."**

"**So, a condiment and…are you saying literal bone ash or does that stand for something else?" I asked.**

"**Literal," both the brothers said.**

"**Naturally." I sighed. "Do they even have that here?" Did anywhere have that? Or were we going to have to make it ourselves? That was bothersome.**

"**They do," Sam said, grabbing a jar of powdery black ashy stuff.**

**After we picked up the cayenne pepper, we paid for the stuff and got back in the car. We ended up going to 7-11 because Dean wanted more lottery tickets. I thought it was childish, but it made him happy, so…whatever.**

* * *

**By the time Dean got all the tickets he wanted it was time to find a cemetery, which didn't take that long, and Sam put the ingredients together. Dean continued scratching off the lottery tickets, which I think Sam found as childish as I did, but he didn't say anything.**

**After he was done, Dean put the tickets in his jacket pocket, said jacket being on a nearby tombstone, and brought the rabbit's foot out of his jeans.**

"**A'right, that should do it," Sam said, sprinkling more powder in the fire - there was coal involved.**

**Dean held the rabbit's food up in front of his face. "Say good-bye, Wascally Wabbit."**

**Just as he was about to throw the foot into the fire the sound of a gun being cocked was heard.**

"**I think you'll find that belongs to me." We turned to see the woman from the diner, only she had better hair now. Bela, I assumed. She was dressed nicely in designer clothes, and she had a gun pointed at Dean. "Or, you know…whatever. Put the foot down, honey."**

**I took an instant dislike to her…she seemed to have a superiority complex or something. And the British accent was just adding to the affect. Plus, she was threatening someone I cared about, which added to the me not liking her factor.**

"**No," Dean answered her request. "You're not gonna shoot anybody. See, I happen to be able to read people. Okay, you're a thief. Fine. But, you're not -"**

**I was just about to tell him that this speech probably wouldn't work on this woman. Something in her eyes wasn't right. And then she was shooting Sam, who was pushed backward into me, and because he was a big ox and I couldn't hold him up, I fell backwards too. Into a tombstone. My back smashed right into it, and I heard something crack. And then there was intense pain. God, I'd broken something, I was sure.**

"**What the hell is wrong with you?" Dean shouted. "You don't just go around shooting people like that."**

**I groaned as Sam moved off of me, him holding onto his shoulder. I saw blood dripping through his fingers, and from the warmth on my shirt, I was sure some of it had spilled over onto me.**

**I wondered if I should move, seeing as to how I was sure I'd broken something. I heard Bela say something like "Put the rabbit's foot on the ground, now." I groaned again as Sam helped me up. _Oh, jeeze, bad idea to move_.**

**By the time Sam and I had situated ourselves, somehow Bela had gotten hold of the rabbit's foot, and she looked semi-disgusted with herself. She was part of the curse now.**

"**Damn," she said.**

"**Now, what do you say we destroy that ugly-ass piece of dead thing?" Dean was kind of smirking.**

**Sighing, Bela tossed the foot into the fire. She didn't seem really upset, exactly, just put out maybe.**

"**Thanks very much. I'm out one and a half million, and on the very bad side of a very powerful, fairly psychotic buyer."**

"**Wow. I really don't feel bad about that," Dean said, watching the foot burn.**

"**Hm. Maybe next time, I'll hang you out to dry." She leaned against the stone with Dean's jacket and then… "Have a nice night."**

**Have a nice night? Right. After she shot Sam, which caused me to almost break my back…we'd have a _great_ night.**

**Smirking, she walked away. Bitch.**

"**You good?" Dean asked us.**

"**I'll live," Sam said, even though his shoulder was still bleeding, which made sense because the bullet was still lodged in there.**

"**My back hurts. I thought I heard something crack, but I'm moving okay, so…I guess I'll be okay."**

"**Sorry," Sam said. "I didn't mean to land on you."**

"**Not your fault." He couldn't help that Bela-the-bitch had shot him.**

**We kept watch until the foot who blackened and then we began walking back to the car, Dean grabbing his jacket on the way.**

"**I guess we're back to normal now, huh?" Dean said. "No good luck, no bad luck."**

"**Oh, we had plenty of bad luck even before the rabbit's foot," I said.**

"**Yeah, but it wasn't supernaturally induced," Dean said. "Oh! I forgot. We're up forty-six thousand dollars. I almost forgot about…the…scratch tickets."**

**He had been smiling, but as he checked his jacket pockets, his smile faded; the tickets were gone. Bela had swiped them.**

"**Son of a bitch!" Dean said, pissed.**

**Sam and I looked at each other and then I had to purse my lips to keep from laughing.**

"**See, plenty of bad luck!"**

* * *

**As soon as we reached the car Dean got to work on Sam's shoulder. I couldn't watch as the blood started pouring out of the wound. Usually gore didn't bother me, but today it did, for some reason. Maybe it was from getting knocked in the head earlier. And then getting knocked into a tombstone just fifteen minutes ago.**

**After the bullet was out, I decided to try to heal him. I wasn't saying it was going to work because my abilities seemed to be on the fritz today, but he was still bleeding and he needed to be healed.**

"**You may have broken something," Sam said. "Don't worry about me."**

"**You're bleeding, Sam." I realized he had a point, though. "Besides, if I did break something, I'll heal in a few days. Now let me help you."**

**Sam grinned a little. "Fine, bossy."**

**I stepped forward and placed my hand on his shoulder. I immediately felt the loving warmth fill me as my healing took over and went into Sam. It always took longer to heal him than it did to heal Dean. I didn't know why; it was just something I'd learned.**

**After he was good as new we piled into the car, and I found that bending over hurt like a bitch. Dean said he'd check me over when he reached a motel. It didn't take long to find a decent one after we left the state of New York. We were going to stop for the night and then head to Bobby's first thing in the morning. Bobby didn't mind unannounced visits so we didn't bother calling.**

**Like Dean said he would, he checked me over. We were in the bathroom, and he was wrapping a bandage around my mid-section just in case I _had_ broken something so it would set right.**

"**So…you healed Sam okay. Why do you think you couldn't…do anything earlier?"**

"**Oh, um…" I didn't really know. "Unless my power's goin' all wonky again, then it's probably because of Sam's bad luck."**

"**Oh, yeah. That makes sense since you were trying to help him."**

"**Mm-hm."**

**After Dean was done wrapping me up, I turned around and caught his gaze. He looked tired, which was normal because we'd all been up for more than twenty-four hours.**

"**Dean, um, I should probably wait to bring this up, but…what're we gonna do about Gordon?"**

"**Right, you _should_ have waited." He shook his head. "I don't know. He didn't come on his own, so obviously he's still in prison."**

"**Yeah, but…just imagine how many hunters he'll be able to…convert." Was that even the right word?**

"**Can we not and say we did?" Dean joked. "At least for tonight? I'm just tired. Wanna sleep."**

"**Yeah. Sure. Whatever you want."**

"**Good."**

**He kissed my forehead and then we went into the main room where Sam was already asleep on one of the beds. I got situated on the bed on my side that wasn't hurt and began to cuddle up to Dean, but then stopped. After all the rules Dean had given us I didn't know if it was okay to be this close. And that's all I wanted; to be close.**

**Dean had sensed my confusion and moved closer, turning onto his side to face me. He placed his hand on my jean clad hip casually so apparently this was okay. I sighed in relief and moved my head to lay on his arm.**

**At least _this_ was still the same.**


	13. Sin City

**Hey, so I know I've been away forever (like a month), but it's been one friggin' hectic month. My aunt's been in the hospital for the WHOLE month. I've been baby-sitting her daughter a lot, and when she's here I really can't get anything done. Lacey, the young daughter, and Christy, Lacey's older sister, has been staying here a lot, so as I said I haven't really been able to get anything done. I just got done typing and proofreading, so here's my latest offer. It's more a filler chapter than anything else.**

**Sin City**

**The first thing we did when we arrived at Bobby's was raid his medicine cabinet. I was in serious pain and I needed a reliever. Now.**

**I'd been semi-fine when I'd gone to sleep, but I must've moved wrong some time during the night because when I'd woken up I could barely move. I knew it was bad because Dean had started fretting over me just like he'd used to do. I didn't mind the fretting thing; it just reinforced the fact that he loved me even if he had sold his soul and was going to Hell. That hadn't changed how he felt about me no matter how he acted now. In the back of my mind I'd always known that, but I'd acted like a brat anyway.**

**Back to the present problem. My pain. Dean had pretty much sent me straight to bed and now he'd brought me two of _something_. Didn't know what it was; didn't care as long as it helped take the pain away. He brought me those and a glass of water. He actually had to help me sit up, which was embarrassing, and then when I'd taken the medicine he offered to sit with me until I fell asleep. I _would_ fall asleep. I hadn't had to take pain killers in about a year, so they would definitely work.**

"**Once you're asleep me and Sam will help Bobby try and figure out how to fix the Colt. Then once you're feeling better, we'll look for another job."**

"**You don't…have to wait."**

"**Aly, you can't hunt when you're hurt."**

**I shook my head. "No, I know. That's not what I meant. What I meant was you don't have to wait because I'm not going with you."**

**I saw hurt flash in his eyes, but acceptance took its place quickly. Too quickly. Like he'd been waiting for me to say this, like he'd known all along that I would.**

"**Dean, I'm not leaving you," I said, a little aggravated. _What_ would it take for him to realize I meant that? I wasn't like everyone else. "I just…after everything…I need a break. I need to be away from hunting for a couple days. I'd love for you to take a break, too, but I know you won't."**

"**I can't, but you should." Dean looked away from me and at the floor. "If that's what you need, then you should definitely do that."**

* * *

**I finally went to sleep; I didn't remember falling asleep, actually. I just remember waking up and it being completely dark in the room. I was already regretting telling Dean that I wasn't going on the next hunt with him and Sam, but I was going to stick to my decision.**

**I didn't want to be away from Dean because like I'd told him before…I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible before he…yeah. But I _did_ want to get away from monsters and hunting and all that crap.**

**Also I wanted to see if I could focus on something other than Dean dying. I could help Bobby with the Colt or something. Take the time to get my head cleared, screwed back on right. I needed to take the time to repress all the negative feelings I was having so I could _really_ be there for Dean for his remaining time. I needed to be able to put aside what _I_ felt so I could be what he needed; _whatever_ he needed. A friend, a girlfriend, a lover, whatever. I'd be what he needed and I wouldn't push for anything else. These last remaining months would be about him, not me. But to do that I needed a few days to prepare myself, to steady myself.**

**And I would do it. For him.**

* * *

**The next morning and two more pain pills later I was downstairs, kind of feeling high as a kite and I was attempting to watch Dean and Bobby work on the Colt. It had been taken apart and I assumed they were rebuilding it now. Dean was making bullets; too bad I wouldn't be able to remember what he was doing.**

**It wasn't that interesting anyway; I'd never really cared about the different parts because, to me, as long as my gun worked…I didn't need to know the anatomy of it.**

"**What're you even doing up, Aly?"**

"**Bored and…" I trailed off. "Just bored."**

"**Mm-hm. Not even a day off and you're bored already." Dean smiled at me; a genuine smile. "You sure you don't want us to wait for you?"**

"**No, I'm…I'll just hold you back. If you find a job…go."**

"**Okay," Dean said reluctantly.**

**I knew I was probably confusing him. I'd gone from completely ignoring him to being a brat. I'd even used Chris James, a guy I knew Dean didn't really care for so that he would feel a little of the pain I'd been feeling. I'd been a little bitch, was what I'd been. Oddly enough, it was a trickster - well, _the_ Trickster - who had gotten me over _that_ hurdle.**

**Then there'd been the time when _he'd_ been ignoring me when I'd thought I'd done something wrong, but then I'd found out he'd been pushing me away _for my own good_.**

**I'd pushed him away and then brought him back in; he'd pushed me away and I'd refused to leave; I'd gone a little crazy and he'd put me back together again. And _now_ I wanted a break. Yup, as I'd said…I was probably confusing him.**

**The front door opened and I turned to see that Sam had come in. I hadn't even known he'd been gone.**

"**Hey."**

"**Hey, what's up?" Dean asked.**

"**I might've found some omens in Ohio - dry lightning, barometric pressure drops."**

"**Well, that's thrilling," Dean quipped.**

"**Plus, some guy blows his head off in a church and another goes postal in a hobby shop before the cops take him out. Might be demonic omens."**

"**Or it could be a suicide and a psycho scrap booker."**

"**Yeah, but it's our best lead since Lincoln," Sam said.**

"**Where in Ohio?"**

"**Elizabethville - it's a half-dead factory town in the rust belt."**

**Dean shook his head. "There's gotta be a demon or two in South Beach."**

**I swatted his arm with my hand and he took on a half-mocking expression. "You know I can tell you're not up to full strength 'cause that usually hurts at least a little."**

**I stuck my tongue out at him and he grinned and a bad sense of déjà vu came over me. We used to do stuff like this all the time. We hadn't in a while. It felt good, but also…depressing at the same time.**

"**So, how's it goin', Bobby?" Sam asked, eyeing the Colt.**

"**Slow," Bobby said gruffly.**

"**Yeah, I'll tell you, it's a little sad seeing the Colt like that." Taken apart, stripped down to its bare essentials.**

"**The only thing it's good for now is figuring out what makes it tick," Bobby said.**

"**So what makes it tick?" Sam asked.**

**Bobby didn't answer; he just glared. Sam, being smart and all, let it go.**

"**So, if we wanna go check out these omens in Ohio, you think you can have that thing ready by this afternoon?"**

**I could tell Dean had asked that question on purpose so I held back a smile. It was much more graceful than Sam's snort of laughter.**

**Then Bobby was glaring again. "Well, it won't kill demons by then, but I can promise it'll kill _you_."**

**Dean grinned openly and it sort of took my breath away. God, he was beautiful.**

"**All right, come on. We're wasting daylight."**

"**See ya," Sam said, then turned around and walked away.**

**Dean stood up from his chair and grabbed his jacket. He stooped down and kissed my head.**

"**You feel better soon, okay?"**

"**Already on it," I promised.**

"**Hey. You run into anything - _anything_ - you call me," Bobby said to Dean, to which Dean nodded. Then he was gone.**

* * *

"**So…" Bobby said from across the table, "not that you're not welcome or anything, but what made you wanna stay here?"**

**I scoffed. "Honestly? Because I need time to screw my head back on right. Because…when I'm around Dean I can't focus on getting back to me again. And I need to be me if I'm going to get through the next eight months."**

**Bobby didn't stop working on the Colt, but he did answer. "Well, in the end we all are who we are."**

"**That's not as helpful as you think it is," I said playfully. Because what if, without Dean, I didn't know who 'me' was.**

* * *

**First thing I learned was I still loved reading and just lazing around. I hadn't had a lot of time to do that for almost a year-and-a-half. It felt good. Although the only books Bobby had were about hunting and stuff like that. Eventually, I decided, when I was sober enough, that I needed to either go to the bookstore or to the library. Since I wasn't exactly unable to move I decided to take Jack's Charger…assuming Bobby hadn't sold it. He hadn't said anything about it, and I was 99% sure he wouldn't have sold it without asking me first.**

"**Hey, Bobby, do you still have my dad's Charger?"**

"**Round the back, why?"**

"**I wanted to go to the store."**

"**Well, the keys are in the ignition. Have been since you drove it last."**

"**Kay. Well, do you need anything while I'm out?"**

**Bobby shook his head. "Nope. Got everything I need right here."**

"**Cool. See ya later then."**

* * *

**I ended up at the nearest Wal-Mart instead of the nearest bookstore. I'd decided to just buy a laptop - I'd been without one since Jack had made me break mine. I smiled a little when I remembered I'd thrown it at his head.**

**Getting a laptop made more sense in the long run because carrying around books - useless books, anyway - wasn't something we could afford to do. We needed the space for books that would actually come in handy. So, yeah, laptop was the way to go. I could just pay to download books off the Internet. Easier and more convenient that way.**

**I didn't need a high dollar one, but I didn't want a really cheap one either; I didn't want one that was liable to crash in a few short months. The one I picked was a thin black one It was almost six-hundred dollars - some were in the thousand dollar price range and had to be ordered, which no…way too much for something that wasn't a car or something more useful**

**I filled the car up with gas on the way back to Bobby's. Money wasn't really an issue so I used Premium fuel.**

**Back at the house, I decided to have just something simple for dinner. Soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. While I did that I let my new laptop charge up in my room. By the time dinner was done Bobby had _the_ Colt and another Colt laid bare on the table in his living room; AKA: the book room. He was trying to see what the difference was between them aside from the markings.**

"**So…you don't seem to have your head screwed on wrong. Why'd you say you did?"**

"**Look…I haven't been around you much since…but with everything going on with Dean…I haven't been myself. Dean needs me - the real me - and I've just been…so…self-centered, which isn't like me at all."**

"**Self-centered? How?"**

"**Thinking only about _my_ pain, not thinking about how Dean must feel. Scared, possibly alone."**

"**He would never let you know if he did feel that way."**

"**I know. But the old me would've noticed it anyway. That's what I did. Noticed things about Dean and then we talked about it when Sam wasn't around. Then I wouldn't bring it up again unless he did. That's how it worked." That's how _we_ worked. I was his outlet when he wouldn't confide in Sam.**

"**Well, maybe he's not the only one who needs to talk about things," Bobby said carefully. "Maybe you both need to talk. To each other."**

"**No, no, no. I've focused on me for way too long. I need to -"**

"**You're not the only one who notices things," Bobby cut me off. "You think Dean can't see that you're dying inside? Hell, I can see it and I'm not around you all that much. But he won't mention it. Not unless you do."**

**Right. Because he more the suffer-in-silence type.**

"**I'll think about it." I didn't want to go on a cry-fest in front of Dean, but if I brought it up, I knew that was what would happen.**

* * *

**That night and half of the next day was spent downloading books. Most were fiction-based-on-fact books like Dan Brown books. _Da Vinci Code; Angels and Demons_. I tried to stay way from fantasy and horror and all that other junk. I lived a horror story, I didn't need to read about it, too.**

**Now Bobby and I were out in the back yard, past the car lot part. It was a really nice place that I hadn't even known was there. Point was, it was pretty.**

**The weather was nice, had the little October chill in the air; the scenery was beautiful, too. The sun was shining; the trees were that pretty forest green that you only see in movies. There was a small creek nearby and the water was crystal clear, running over rocks that looked smooth enough to lay on.**

**It would've been completely peaceful - hm, the concept of peace was completely foreign to me now - had it not been for Bobby having target practice about twenty feet away. He'd finally put both the Colts back together and had been fiddling with the thing for about an hour out here. He'd tied sand bags with red targets on them to a tree. It seemed that either Bobby was losing his touch or the alignment was off with the gun. Probably the latter.**

**Either way, I'd come out here with him because he'd asked me to and he'd thought I'd like it here. He was right. I wondered if Dean had ever been out here. If not, I'd definitely show him when he got back. He wouldn't say anything, but he'd appreciate it nonetheless.**

**I was sitting on a nearby log reading when the air pretty much shifted and I got that bad-chill vibe. I set my laptop aside and stood up.**

"**Cute piece," a female voice said. It was familiar though I hadn't heard it in a while. Ruby. She was standing in front of Bobby's sand bag in a red leather jacket - well, more a russet color, actually - black jeans and a shirt. Same smug look on her face that was always there.**

"**I remember you. What're you doin' here?" Bobby asked.**

**Ruby ignored the question. "Won't stop a demon, if that's what you think."**

"**How the hell would you know?"**

"**Oh, I dunno." She blinked and when she opened her eyes they were black. "Call it an educated guess."**

"**Well, ain't I lucky then?" Bobby said. "I've found a subject for a test fire."**

**Ruby laughed while I debated whether or not I should interfere. It didn't matter to me whether the Ruby-demon lived or died. I could care less. But what if Bobby shot her and it didn't kill her? Wouldn't if piss her off so bad she'd want revenge?**

"**Luck had nothing to do with it. But hey, by all means, take your best shot." She spread her arms out, offering Bobby every chance to shoot. He didn't move. Ruby rolled her eyes, her arms falling to her sides. "Are you gonna stand there like a pantywaist, or are you gonna shoot me!"**

**And so Bobby shot her. Only…nothing happened. Apart from the bullet causing a hole to form in Ruby's shirt…there was nothing. She didn't even bleed. My mind flashed back to Meg, though, and I knew that appearances could be deceiving. Meg had been fine, too, until we'd exorcised her. The demon had been the only thing keeping her alive, and I was sure that was the case here. Bobby had hit the heart. The human girl Ruby was possessing would be dead within seconds if Ruby left her body now.**

"**Ouch. That smarts a little," Ruby said sarcastically.**

"**What d'you want?" Bobby asked.**

**Ruby stepped forward and I stepped closer to Bobby. I trusted her about as far as I could physically throw her.**

"**Peace on Earth," she quipped, though she sounded serious. But demons didn't really want that. Right? "A new shirt," she added, grabbing onto the material. She stopped moving when she was standing right in front of Bobby. "Now, do you want me to help you out with that gun or not."**

**Bobby looked like he didn't believe his ears - a demon wanted to help us. Had to have a motive, right?**

"**That gun's pretty much useless now. You need another one. And regular bullets won't work."**

"**What do we have to do to the bullets?" I asked, finally speaking.**

"**We're gonna cast a little spell." She smirked my way. "Hello, Aly. Nice to see you again."**

"**Hm. I'd say the same thing to you but we both know that would be a fib. And don't call me Aly." How dare she use Dean's name for me? It wasn't hers to use.**

"**Wait a minute, you two know each other?" Bobby asked incredulously. He stared at me like he didn't know me. "You're hanging out with a demon now?"**

"**We're not friends or anything. And we don't hang out…she…" I sighed. "She saved Sam's and my life in Lincoln…she keeps coming back for some reason. She said she could help save Dean."**

"**She's lying," Bobby said automatically.**

"**_She's_ right here," Ruby complained. "Now, are we gonna get to work or what?"**

"**Or what," I answered. "Let me heal you first."**

**Ruby shook her head and almost looked regretful. "You can't heal me, Alyson. You can't heal a demon. It's not what your abilities are for; you can't do it."**

"**Well, then leave the body so I can heal her."**

"**You'll never save her in time. You won't be able to get the bullet out fast enough."**

**So this girl was pretty much dead already, and it was my fault because I hadn't gotten rid of her when I'd had the chance. Now, it really didn't matter, I guessed.**

* * *

**Back at the house Bobby had a hard time letting Ruby in. I didn't blame him, good or semi-good demon or not.**

"**Look, I can't help you from out here." she said, exasperated. "I could've killed you already if I'd wanted to. I don't."**

**Eventually we let her in and we carefully avoided all the Devil's Traps and stuff like that. We went to the work table in the living room.**

"**So get to fixin' it," Bobby said harshly. He handed her the Colt he'd compared _the_ Colt to.**

"**I'm gonna need the material to make bullets.**

**She had to melt them and everything? Really? Why couldn't she just buy some and do the mojo on _them_?**

**When I voiced the question, however, she said, "I told you they had to be special bullets. I have to make them."**

**Well, yeah, I'd known they needed to be special, but I didn't know that meant _making_ them.**

"**Fine. Wait here," Bobby said.**

**He left the room, leaving me and Ruby there in uncomfortable silence. Uncomfortable for me anyway - Ruby didn't look too ruffled.**

"**So, why are you even worried about the Colt, anyway?" Ruby asked. "With all your juice you don't need a weapon. You are the weapon."**

**True enough.**

**I looked away. "You can never be too careful."**

"**Uh-huh, and Dean wants you to be careful. Right? Not use your abilities unless you have to? He's…putting a leash on you, and you're letting him?"**

"**He's not. He just doesn't want -"**

"**He doesn't want you getting too strong is what it is," she interrupted. "He's afraid you won't _need_ him anymore. But, gee, I think that's kind of selfish of him seeing as to how he thinks he's gonna die."**

"**That's _not_ why," I seethed. I didn't like the way she was talking to me, in that stupid mocking voice of hers. "I was -" so not gonna explain this to her. It was none of her business anyway. But that _wasn't_ why he'd done what he'd done. Besides, it wouldn't matter how strong I became, I would always need Dean. Part of the problem I was having; needing Dean yet focusing on losing him.**

"**Okay, so," Bobby said, stepping back into the room. "What now?"**

"**Now, we melt the metal," Ruby explained. "Oh, and uh -" she grabbed a bowl from the table and pulled it close to her. "This." She then pulled me to her and sliced my wrist open - vain and all. She squeezed as hard as she could to pour my blood in the bowl. I noticed she'd used her demon-killing knife. More importantly though…**

"**Ow. What the hell?"**

"**Need it for the spell," Ruby said.**

"**Could've just asked," I remarked. "Jeeze."**

"**Yeah, but then you would've asked why and what for and we don't have time."**

"**Well, then, you could've warned me."**

"**Oh, shut up, you'll heal fine. Might take a few minutes…but still."**

**I clenched my jaw but decided to let it go. If it would make the Colt work again, or help the new one work, or whatever the hell she was doing, then I supposed it was worth it. But I would definitely be destroying whatever blood was leftover. I sure as hell wasn't letting Ruby or any other demon get hold of it.**

* * *

**That night Bobby got a call from Sam and he'd found some sulfur and now Dean was missing. He'd left with some bartender and her place was where the sulfur had been. And really? I was away for a couple days and he's already finding trouble? Probably because he wasn't as reckless when I was around. Also he didn't go off with random chicks when I was around. He'd had a reason, I was sure. We'd gotten past the whole him-flirting-with-other-girls-just-to-hurt-me thing.**

"**Okay, well, we should go then, if -" I began.**

"**I can get us there faster," Ruby said. "Won't take but a couple seconds."**

**Us? She was a part of us now?**

"**No way. I already feel bad from you bleedin' me earlier." The mark had healed, but there was still a white line there - a scar, I guessed.**

"**I can do a locating spell. Go to the exact place Dean is. You can't do it on your own."**

**_Fuck_. I hated whenever she said something like that. Really, she could transport us in, like, five seconds; whereas it would take me and Bobby all night to drive there. Double fuck.**

"**Fine, but any funny business, any at all -"**

"**Yeah, yeah. You'll kill me right and proper. Sing a new tune, why don't you?"**

**Bobby grabbed the Colt, which already had bullets in it, and then Ruby grabbed me with one hand and Bobby with the other. Then my world was spinning. Everything went black for about five seconds; I felt like I was being suffocated; it felt like my heart was being squeezed inside my chest; my brain felt like it was going to explode inside my skull.**

**Demon transportation obviously didn't agree with me. All that happened in five seconds. And when we landed I ended up on my knees vomiting up my dinner from the night before. The pressure that had been building slowly faded away.**

"**What the hell did you do to her?" Bobby yelled, kneeling down beside me.**

"**I didn't do anything," Ruby answered. "Why am I to blame?"**

"**You're the only black-eyed chick here."**

"**It's not my fault she doesn't travel well," Ruby snarked. "Let's go."**

**_Oh, yes, leave me here to try and breathe through my own vomit_.**

**Once my stomach was empty, I stood up weakly. We were near an old -_old_ - house and the Impala was here, so that meant Dean was too, or had been at one point.**

"**You good?" Bobby asked.**

"**Now that I'm empty, yeah."**

"**Dean!" Sam's voice from somewhere - the back, maybe.**

"**You good to check the house?" Bobby again.**

"**Yeah." I took a deep breath to steady myself and then just pretty much walked through the front door. Wasn't even locked.**

**I steadied myself again and then reached outward to Dean. No, it wasn't a locating spell, but it worked just as well. He was downstairs, a basement, I assumed. I began walking and made it to a stairway and then…it was blocked at the bottom. Rocks, like the ceiling had collapsed.**

"**Dean?" I called out. I could feel there was a demon on the other side of the stones. With Dean.**

"**Aly? What're you doin' here?"**

"**Sam called, said you were missing. Bobby and I came as quick as we could."**

"**What, did you travel through a black hole? I've only been missing for a couple hours."**

"**I - we… I'll explain later. Gotta get you outta here first."**

"**Gotta say I agree with you there." Male voice from behind me. I never got the chance to see who it was, though, because suddenly it was lights out for me.**

* * *

**The first thing I heard when I came to was a _bang_ and then "Sam, wait!" - Dean's voice - and then another _bang_.**

**I opened my eyes and groaned as pain flashed through my head. I had been knocked out _again_ it seemed. And I felt sick again, too. Actually, my whole body ached…it was kind of how I imagined the flu would feel like.**

**I saw that some of the stones had been removed from the pile - enough for me to get through if I could only move.**

**The freakishly tall form that was Sam was suddenly squatting down beside me.**

"**Hey, you okay?" he asked, scooping me up in his arms, which I was okay with because I couldn't move.**

"**No," I said honestly. "Dean?"**

"**I'm okay," his voice came from a few feet away. "I'm okay." Two sets of arms were clutching at me now. "I've got her, Sam. Give her to me." There was something in Dean's voice…something I couldn't really place. Worry? Desperation? Whatever it was, Dean didn't want Sam holding me.**

**Sam let go once he was sure I was secure, and then I was surrounded by the reassuring presence that was Dean. My arms instantly went around his neck and I leaned my head against his shoulder.**

"**Hey," I whispered. "What happened?"**

"**Long story. Let's take care of you first, huh?"**

"**Kay."**

**The walk back outside was quick but silent. The tense kind of silence, not the comfortable silence. Something had happened. I'd missed something while I'd been out.**

"**Open the door, Sam." Meaning the car door, I assumed. Then I was being placed in the backseat. "First aid kit, Sammy."**

"**First aid?" I was pretty fine; wasn't I fine?**

"**You're not healing, Aly. You're head's bleeding pretty bad."**

**I wasn't healing? I brought my had up to wipe at my head and winced because - ouch, the wound _was_ still there.**

"**Why aren't you -" Dean broke off abruptly and grabbed my arm. "What the hell is that?"**

"**What the hell is what?" I asked.**

"**This." He ran his fingers over my wrist, over the line that had been left behind from Ruby's knife. "What the hell? Are you…hurting yourself now? Is that why you wanted us to leave you with Bobby?"**

**I looked away because, honestly, I'd thought about it. Thought about letting the pain go by letting my blood flow free. Thought about how it would feel to let it go, all of it. But I never would. Partly because I was scared to, partly because Sam would need me when…Dean was gone.**

"**Hey, you better answer me!" Dean half-yelled. Now I knew there was worry in his voice, but it was a different kind of worry than it had been before. This was the kind of worry that made Dean angry.**

**I glared at him, or glared as well as I could while I was feeling so bad. "What if I was? Hm? What exactly would you do about it?"**

**Dean clenched his jaw and I saw hurt flash across his face. I instantly regretted my words; so much for being whatever he needed me to be. His hand tightened painfully around my wrist, but I accepted it as my punishment for hurting him. A few seconds later, he realized what he was doing and he let go and sighed. His eyes were hard as Sam handed Dean the first aid kit.**

"**This isn't over," he said to me. "When we get back to the motel, we're _gonna_ talk."**

* * *

**Dean was rougher than usual when he was taking care of me. I didn't blame him. I'd hurt him _again_; seemed like I was doing that constantly lately. Seemed like my most powerful ability lately was saying hurtful things.**

**Back at the motel Dean rented out another room; it seemed he was serious about having a talk with me.**

"**Sit down," he said, leading me to the bed.**

**I'd gotten a little of my strength back, enough to stand up and walk. My head was still pounding and I was shaky, but I was going to be fine. I was pretty sure, anyway. But Dean had been right; I _wasn't_ healing. I didn't know why.**

**I sat like he wanted me to and began looking at the floor. Wasn't really taking anything in, just staring at anything _but_ Dean. I was pretty sure I was being stupid. Why didn't I just tell him the truth? Dean would appreciate that more than this - this hiding things from him.**

"**What happened?" he asked, voice hard. When I didn't answer, he grabbed my arm and made me look at him. "Alyson Daniels, answer me!"**

**And okay, he was treating me like a kid because I was acting like one, so… But still, it grated on my nerves.**

"**I didn't hurt myself, if that's what you're thinking," I said. "I'm not that brave."**

**That didn't soften Dean's face at all. "Well, if you didn't do it, then who did?"**

**I looked away again and his hand dropped from my face. I heard him sigh. He was aggravated, probably trying to keep from losing his patience too much.**

"**Okay, so we're back to you not talking to me. What's wrong? Is it because I got stuck with that demon? I knew she was a demon, I was totally planning on exorcising her, but she kinda destroyed my book."**

"**I'm not mad at you, Dean," I said quickly; I had to make sure that he knew this - me acting this way - wasn't his fault. It was all me. "But if I tell you about how I got a scar there, _you're_ gonna be mad."**

**He squatted down in front of me so I would _have_ to look at him and I saw confusion written all over his face. When he spoke his voice was softer now. "Why? Is it because you _did_ do it? Because if that's the case I won't be _mad_. I'll be worried because my girlfriend is _hurting herself_. And, Aly, no matter what happens to me, you're not allowed to do that, okay?"**

"**I'm not. That's not why you're gonna be mad. It was…" God, when had talking to him become like pulling teeth? "It was Ruby."**

"**Ruby? The demon Ruby?"**

"**Uh-huh." I sighed. "She stopped by Bobby's when I was there. Helped fix a Colt up for us. Different Colt, different bullets. She needed my blood for the spell. She cut me with her knife."**

**Dean was tense now. "That's how you guys got there so fast, isn't it. Demon airlines?"**

"**Yeah," I whispered, a total contrast to the volume and gruffness of _his_ voice. "I've been feeling sick ever since we got to, well, where we landed."**

"**Damn it, Aly," he near shouted and his voice reverberated through my head. "That's probably why you're not healing. Getting cut with a knife that's used to kill demons? It's probably got leftover demon gunk on it. And now it's making you sick. And she probably did it on purpose."**

**I flinched as he stood up and his voice began rising. I'd told him he'd be mad.**

"**Why would you let her do that, anyway? It's obviously draining you, and you don't even know if she -"**

"**Could you please stop yelling at me? My head is, like, killing me, okay? And your voice is, like, making my brain hurt. So if you wanna give me a lecture, fine. But do it quietly. And for the record, I didn't _let_ her do anything. She just did it. Grabbed my arm and started slicing."**

**That shut Dean up for about three seconds and then I realized I maybe shouldn't have said what I'd said. Now he was even angrier. Only now he realized he'd been angry at the wrong person.**

"**She did what?" He wasn't yelling anymore, his voice was controlled, but the anger was present in his voice nonetheless. Even more so, actually.**

"**Yeah…she did exactly what I just said."**

"**And she's still breathing?"**

"**Um, well, technically…I don't think demons breathe, so -"**

"**You know what I mean!" Dean almost yelled again. "Is she still walking about making a nuisance of herself?"**

"**Yes," I said, looking away. "I mean, Dean, I get it, you want her gone, and, hey, I'm with you on that now. But she helped us with the Colt. At least we're getting _something_ out of this."**

"**Yeah, and, uh, you what _she's_ got? Your blood." Dean sat down but then got up again. "Do you know what she could to with your blood? Nothing good, that's for sure."**

"**She doesn't have my blood. I cleaned the knife myself and the blood that wasn't used, I destroyed it myself." I'd used bleach on the knife, and I'd pretty much burnt the remaining blood away.**

"**Hm." Dean calmed down a little. He was still angry, though.**

"**Dean, do you really think I would just hand over my blood to a demon?" I shook my head. "No, I'm smarter than that."**

"**Hm."**

**Things were silent for a few minutes and then I turned to face him. I _needed_ to tell him something. I hadn't said it yet and it needed to be said.**

"**Dean, you know I'm here, right? I mean, I know I've been a brat to you lately. Some of it I did on purpose, some of it…not so much. But I'm here for you. So if you wanna talk or…I won't judge you or mess with you…I'll just be me and I'll listen."**

**I knew that he wouldn't talk about it right now, he would need time to sort through what I'd said and make sure I'd meant it and then _maybe_ we'd talk.**

"**So…What happened here?" I asked, changing the subject.**

**Dean shook his head. "Humans. Demons didn't do anything this time." He shrugged. "I mean, sure, they may have helped bring some of the stuff here, but they didn't really do anything."**

"**Stuff? What'd they bring?"**

"**Ya know, gambling and alcohol and all that other stuff."**

"**You mean stuff that can destroy a good person, huh?"**

"**Yeah."**

"**Dean, humans are…" I didn't know the right thing to say here. "They're, um…they make choices. Sometimes the wrong ones. They…bury the pain with alcohol and sex and…" I stopped talking; there wasn't really much I could say.**

"**Demon I was stuck with said demons are gonna take over. That they'll win because…we're weak. They're stronger."**

**Dean was buying into that? Of course he was, because Dean didn't have faith. Dean didn't believe that good things were real, and if they were, they were soon destroyed. Or they destroyed themselves.**

"**Some humans are weak," I agreed. "But some of them are strong and good. Some of them shine like the sun." I was looking at one of them right now.**

"**But is it true? That demons will…inherit the earth or whatever?"**

"**They'll fight for it, sure," I said. "They'll fight and when they start to lose, they'll try and destroy it. But they _won't_ win. As long as people continue to fight, they won't win."**

**Dean looked like he was considering that and then he opened his mouth to say something; he closed his mouth again instead.**

"**What?"**

"**Will you?" he asked softly. There was guilt and regret hidden beneath the surface of his voice, but I could hear it anyway. "Will you keep fighting?"**

**I let out a little breath of pain and swallowed tightly. "I guess I'll have to, Dean. Don't have much of a choice one way or the other."**

**I'd have to whether he was here or not.**

* * *

Okay, so this is 12 pages (or if you're counting front and back then 24, but still...) I will try and get more updates faster, but I can't promise because everything so hectic and hard right now. Anyway, enjoy


	14. Bedtime Stories Pt One

**Yay, a faster update! :)**

**Anyway, I wanted to say thank you to those who have stuck with this story even though I've been a little sporadic when it came to updates lately. My aunt is out the hospital so HOPEFULLY I can get back on track here. LOL Anyway, seriously, much love to you guys.**

**And since I haven't done it in a while. I'm disclaiming Supernatural. I own Alyson and maybe a few of the plot lines throughout the series that aren't actually in the series. LOL**

**Bedtime Stories  
Part One**

"**Hey, what if people do just wanna destroy themselves?" Dean asked after what felt like an eternity.**

**Ever since he'd asked if I would keep fighting and I'd said yes we'd been silent. And now I wanted to tell him that he was obviously one of the ones who wanted to destroy themselves. Hence the deal, the selling of his soul, the most precious thing he had.**

**But I didn't say that because I'd _just_, not thirty minutes ago, promised I'd be here for him. Not to judge him or mock him, but to actually be here for him.**

"**If they want to destroy themselves, then I guess we have to let them. We can't save everyone…and we especially can't save people who don't wanna be saved. I mean, it's like that kid says in _Terminator_, it's almost like we're programmed for self-destruction."**

"**Like you hurting yourself?"**

"**Um…I thought we'd already established that I _didn't_ hurt myself." Because I hadn't.**

"**Yeah, but I thought you had. I used to…I never would've had to worry about that before. But now…and it would've been my fault."**

"**Dean." I got up on my knees on the bed so I could face him better. "If I had hurt myself, it would never be your fault." I cupped his cheek gently. "It's…you're not responsible for what other people do. It's not your fault."**

"**Yeah, well…" He grabbed my hand and squeezed. "Can I ask you something? And you'll answer without…evading or anything like that?"**

"**Okay." I could do that for him. _Would_ do that for him.**

"**Back in Wyoming, there was this moment. Yellow Eyes said something to me."**

**Oh, God, that didn't sound good.**

"**What'd he say?"**

**His eyes strayed all over the place before he answered, which proved he didn't really wanna talk about this. "That maybe when Sam came back from wherever…maybe he came back different." Dean bit his lip before continuing. "Whatever it was, it didn't sound good."**

**If Yellow Eyes had told him that…that meant he'd been carrying it around inside for four months. He'd always had thoughts about Sam going dark side since John had said Dean might have to kill Sam if he couldn't _save_ him. He'd had to carry it around because I hadn't been there for him to tell, to confide in.**

"**And then tonight he shot two demons. Didn't hesitate or flinch or anything. And for a second after…he didn't look like Sam."**

**It clicked then, why Dean had sounded worried and desperate earlier. Also why he hadn't wanted Sam touching me earlier. After everything we'd learned about me being the opposite of Sam, that one of us was to kill the other…Dean had been scared for both of us.**

"**That's why you took me from Sam."**

"**Yeah. I didn't actually think he'd hurt you. I just…he didn't seem like himself, and I couldn't take that risk."**

"**Well…" Wow. "He didn't…_doesn't_ feel any different, if that helps any. He feels like the same old Sam."**

**Dean nodded, his relief palpable. "That's good to hear." I had unintentionally answered his unasked question.**

"**But Dean…Dean, he's not okay. You're gonna die, so of course he's not okay. I mean…you don't want us to try and help you, so we feel kind of useless right now. Sitting back and _letting_ you die."**

"**Aly, you know why you guys can't do anything."**

"**I know. But Sam won't give up. If the roles were reversed, _you_ wouldn't give up."**

* * *

**The next morning I woke up with a vomit-inducing fever. Seriously. A clinging to the toilet, sweating and shivering, vomit-inducing fever.**

"**Jeeze, you don't do anything halfway, do you?" Dean quipped sympathetically, kneeling beside me in the bathroom, keeping my hair from getting in the way.**

**I couldn't answer for heaving and so Dean just continued holding my hair up, trailing his thumb over the back of my neck soothingly. Eventually I was just dry heaving and so I sat back on my knees and leaned against Dean's shoulder. I groaned weakly. This sucked, being sick. I hurt everywhere.**

**I'd never felt this bad before - although the venom from being bitten by a werewolf came in close second - and I literally felt like I was going to pass out. I wanted it; passing out was better than this, this feverish ache.**

"**Oh, fuck," I complained breathlessly.**

**Dean huffed out a worried laugh. "Did you just say fuck?"**

"**Yes."**

"**Wow. You really do feel bad. I didn't know you had such a potty mouth."**

"**Only in extreme situations." I tried to joke, but it fell flat.**

**I felt my throat convulse in that way it does when vomiting was almost inevitable, and I swallowed against it. I placed one hand over my mouth and one across my stomach.**

"**Come on, Aly, let it go. Better out than in," he said, moving me back to the toilet.**

* * *

**An hour later, I was completely empty and curled up in the bed under the covers. Hot but cold at the same time.**

**The next time I saw Ruby, I was going to kill her. It was her fault I was feeling this way, so, yeah, death seemed a good punishment for giving me this demonic flu-bug thing. Yup, I would definitely kill her if Dean didn't get to her first.**

**Speaking of Dean, he was being extremely sweet and caring; it was his way of making up for yelling at me the night before without having to say he was sorry. Truth was, though, that if he'd left me here to suffer alone, I would've understood with how I'd been treating him lately.**

**But that wasn't Dean. Dean was there for those he loved no matter how much they'd hurt him in the process. He literally lived the concept of unconditional love.**

**Dean had already gotten his stuff together and we were getting ready to go because we needed to take Bobby back home. I didn't really feel like traveling, but I figured that as long as I didn't eat anything, I'd be okay.**

**It was proof of how worried Dean was that he didn't say anything about me not hurling in his car.**

"**I'll be right back, okay? I'm gonna take my stuff to the car. I'll be back to get you in a minute."**

"**M'kay," I mumbled.**

**He was back in _less_ than a minute.**

"**I asked Sam to pull the car up out front." He came to me and picked me up, cradling me much like he had the night before. "You good?"**

"**Uh-huh."**

"**Good." He held me to his chest securely. "Please don't throw up on me." His inappropriately timed sense of humor was back, but I couldn't even find the strength to laugh or smack him playfully.**

"**Don't shake me too much and I won't."**

**He walked us smoothly to the car where we got situated.**

"**I'm gonna sit back here with you, okay?"**

"**Yeah," I whispered as he wrapped a blanket around me and pulled me close to him. "Good."**

**It was good because no matter how I felt now, it would be ten times worse without Dean holding me. Besides…I was enjoying being taken care of.**

* * *

**The drive to Bobby's was a long one - 12-13 hours at least - and I slept for most of it. It was weird, but the way the car moved was soothing to me, and so every time I would wake up I would be lulled back to sleep.**

**Mostly, Dean just let me sleep. The only time he woke me up was to ask if I needed anything to drink or if I wanted to try and eat. I didn't want anything because I was sure it wouldn't stay down anyway.**

**When we got to Bobby's, though, Dean wanted me to try some toast. Just the thought of food was enough to turn my stomach, but I did try, and I sipped on some Sprite.**

**My fever wasn't _too_ bad now; it was below the shaking and shivering point, so that was good, I assumed.**

**Bobby had gone up to bed as soon as we'd gotten back here; Dean, Sam, and I were downstairs in the kitchen. They were eating, just very simple sandwiches.**

"**Hey, Dean?" Sam said, after he was done. "I was thinking…we have the Colt now. We should go and -"**

"**No," Dean interrupted. "I already know what you're gonna say, and no."**

"**Why not?"**

"**Because I said so," Dean answered simply.**

"**But we've got the Colt now. _And_ we've got Alyson -"**

"**Sam…no. We're not using the Colt, and we're definitely not using Aly." I knew the last part was more because he was scared of what would happen to me if I tried anything.**

**Sam didn't listen. "Look, we can summon the crossroads demon -"**

"**No, we're not summoning anything."**

**Sam yelled over Dean. "We can pull the gun on her, and force her to let you out of the deal."**

"**We don't even know if that'll work!"**

"**Well, then we'll just shoot her! If she dies, the deal goes away."**

**Why did they both have to be so damn stubborn? And did they really have to do this now? While I was here? They knew how I got when they were arguing, how my abilities sort of went haywire. This time was no different. The glass in front of me that I'd been drinking from started to tremble, but the guys were yelling at each other so loud they didn't notice.**

"**We don't know if that'll work either, Sam! All you're pictchin' me right now is a bunch of ifs and maybes, and that's not good enough, because if we screw with this deal, you die!"**

"**And if we don't screw with it, _you_ die!" Sam yelled and my glass exploded. Along with the two bulbs in the room. And the table started shaking, rocking back and forth.**

**Needless to say…it got their attention and they stopped arguing. Probably because they had to duck and cover from the sparks from the exploding bulbs.**

"**Aly, stop it!" Dean yelled.**

"**I'm trying," I said.**

**I _was_ trying. Breathing evenly, focusing on calming down, it just wasn't working. So when the sparks cleared, Dean made it to me and calmed me down his way; by holding me close and rubbing my back in small, soothing circles.**

"**Okay, this is over," Dean said. "Come on, Aly."**

"**Dean." Sam was exasperated. "No, we need -"**

"**I'm not gonna have this conversation. Let it go," Dean interrupted.**

"**Why, because you said so?" Sam seethed. He hated being bossed around.**

"**Yes, because I said so! Now stop before she throws you out a window or something."**

"**What the hell's going on down here?" Bobby's voice came from the kitchen archway.**

**I looked at him and my anger - or whatever - went away immediately. No more rattling table. Bobby was standing there in long johns and had a shotgun in his hands. I felt like laughing.**

"**What the hell happened to my kitchen?"**

"**Um…Aly happened," Dean said sheepishly. "Sam and I were arguing and it must've pissed her off."**

"**So you take it out on my kitchen?" he asked me, though I could tell he wasn't really angry.**

"**Sorry, Bobby. We'll clean it up," Sam said. Maybe he was feeling guilty for making me lose control. Or for taking part in it, anyway.**

"**Yeah, Sam'll clean it up," Dean volunteered, and Sam gave Dean his most bitchy bitch-face for that. "Aly and I are goin' to bed.**

**I was feeling even shakier since, and probably because of, my little outburst, so instead of me walking, Dean just decided to carry me.**

**When we passed Bobby, Dean looked at him and said, "Nice PJ's, Bobby," with that quirky attitude of his. I actually did giggle at that and hid my face against Dean's shoulder.**

"**Oh, that's funny. Now get upstairs 'fore I shoot ya," Bobby grumbled. "And clean up my kitchen," he threw at Sam.**

* * *

**Up in the room, Dean found my new laptop and began fiddling around with it. I didn't care because as much as Dean pretended to be technologically illiterate, he knew his way around a computer. He had to for the job.**

"**You better not be lookin' up porn sites on that thing," I said.**

"**Dude, I would never. This is your computer. You just so happen to be my girlfriend. You think I'd leave an evidence trail for _you_ to find?"**

**I couldn't tell if he was trying to be funny or not, so I let that one go.**

"**What're you doing, anyway?"**

"**Well, I was gonna play pinball, but then I noticed you had, like five hundred books on this thing." That was an exaggeration; I had, like, fifty. "I wanted to see what you read for fun. But you're like Sam on that. You don't read fun stuff."**

"**If by that, you mean the books I read contain hardly any nudity, then, yeah, you're right. But I know how to have sex; I don't need to read about it."**

**Dean grinned at my casual tone. "Seems you're feelin' a little better. Talkin' and all."**

"**Mm. My stomach's still a little rumbly, but…yeah."**

* * *

**I didn't sleep much that night. Mostly, I just watched Dean sleep. He was really beautiful when he was resting, almost peaceful looking. All the worries from his waking hours seemed like they disappeared. His face was soft and child-like; it was nice to get to see him like that even if it was while he was asleep.**

**I reached over and caressed his face. I sent a warm and gentle 'I love you" into him and his lips twitched upward into a slight smile. Apparently, he'd heard me anyway, even through sleep.**

**The laptop was between us and so I picked it up and began going through some current events on the Internet. Nationwide search. I tried to find something close by so we could get there fast, but there wasn't anything near here. No demonic omens, nothing. I supposed I should've been happy about that.**

**The only thing I could find was in New York, and that was weird, the article was.**

**Psychotic killer…ripped his victims apart with brute-like ferocity. Three men were attacked; two didn't make it, one got away. The three were brothers. The one that got away was now in the hospital, awake and pretty okay, physically.**

**There was no mention of anything weird other than the 'brute-like ferocity'. No razor-sharp teeth, no four-inch claws, no animal eyes. Just the fact that two people had been ripped apart was bad enough, but if a _human_ had done it…the human had to have been possessed or something. Vampire, werewolf, shapeshifter, _something_.**

**There weren't really any recent missing person ads or any suspicious deaths other than the two guys. Vampires would probably leave a bigger death trail than just two people, and the other brother _wouldn't_ have gotten away. I hadn't heard of a shapeshifter that tore its victims apart, but it was possible. Still, the best thing to do would be to check the lunar cycle to be sure of the werewolf thing. If the cycle wasn't right, we wouldn't even have to check the werewolf angle.**

**I slid out of bed easily, so as not to wake Dean, and took my laptop with me. I would go and see if Sam was awake. If he was, he could help see if there was anything else weird that I had maybe missed. It could happen, because even though it felt longer, I had only been living this life for a little less than a year and a half.**

**I went to Sam's room and opened the door a little. The light had been shining beneath the closed door, so I knew he was awake.**

"**Sam?" I said softly. "Can I come in?"**

"**Yeah, sure."**

**He was sitting up on his bed, and apparently he'd had the same idea as me, because he had his laptop in front of him, too.**

"**What's up?" he asked, looking up from the screen.**

"**Uh, I may have found a job in New York, but I'm not sure."**

"**What'd you find?"**

**I filled him in and found out the lunar cycle was right.**

"**Look, if it _is_ a werewolf, we don't have long. The moon is full this Friday, and that's the last time if changes for a month."**

"**Hm. If Dean drives, we'll get there in time." Dean could drive like a lunatic if he wanted to.**

"**Hey, uh, I'm sorry about, ya know…" Sam said, and I shook my head.**

"**Don't worry about it." He hadn't _meant_ to make me lose control, and Dean had been the one being stubborn anyway. Mostly.**

"**I was right, though…right? We do have you?"**

"**Have me, yes. Can you use me? No."**

"**What?" He seemed somewhat surprised. "But you love Dean. If it could save him… I don't understand."**

"**Sam, I've told you before, if I could save _you_ too, then yeah. But…I can't. I won't be put in the middle of this. I won't be responsible for who lives and dies."**

**I couldn't do that. I couldn't have that weight on my shoulders, because if one of them were to die because of something _I_ did, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.**

"**Well, I'll find a way. I'll find a way that won't hurt me in the process."**

**I nodded. "That would be nice."**

* * *

**The next morning we left bright and early after filling Dean in. At the car Dean fixed Sam with a teasing glare.**

"**No arguing in the car, Sammy. I don't feel like replacing the windows, okay?"**

"**Yeah, yeah," Sam said, rolling his eyes. "Best behavior."**

**Sam was a little mad at me, I was sure, because I'd said I wouldn't help him save Dean unless we found a foolproof way of saving him, too. I knew Sam didn't want to die, _I knew that_, but Sam didn't want Dean to die because of him either.**

"**So, you said you guys were thinking werewolf? Any missing hearts or anything?" Dean asked.**

"**No. Just the two victims were ripped apart and the lunar cycle fits."**

"**Hm. As good a lead as any, I guess."**

"**Yup. Think you can get us there on time?" I teased.**

"**Yeah, no sweat."**

* * *

**We got there in record timing and we got a motel room. Sam and Dean decided that we would get up bright and early _again_ and go to the hospital to chat with the brother that had gotten away, and to take a peek at the coroner's report on the other two.**

**I chose the latter of the two assignments, and that was that. So after a not-good night's sleep, the three of us went to the hospital. We split up at the entrance; I needed to go to the basement, they needed to go up.**

**I stopped by a laundry room on the way and got a clean doctor's coat and then slipped it on. When I made it to the basement floor - which was the morgue here - I just walked right in. No one tried to stop me. Either I was getting better at this, gaining more confidence in myself, or people were just stupid. Probably a little of both.**

**The filing system was set up as a hard copy and a back up file on the computer, so I just made a copy of the file on the two brothers. Easy as cake - for once.**

**I ditched the lab coat in the hallway when no one was watching and then made it back to the entrance where I waited for the guys to get back.**

**I went through the death stuff - coroner's report - while I waited. Both brothers had been dead when the cops had arrived at the scene. Their hearts were not missing, but something had eaten away at their kidneys, lungs, and intestines.**

"**Ew."**

**Maybe we were just dealing with a regular wild animal attack. But, no…teeth marks were human.**

"**Well, this is a piece of, uh, art. Really." Dean's voice. I could probably recognize it from a mile away.**

"**Yeah, like you could've done any better," Sam said.**

**I looked up from the files I was going through and saw them coming toward me. Dean was holding a notepad and it made me wonder _what_ exactly was a work of art. I stood up when they reached me and matched my steps to theirs. Talk about being in tune with each other.**

"**Hey, so, what'd you get?" Dean asked.**

"**Copy of a coroner's report for Emmett and Jack. The two brothers. They were dead on arrival. And I don't think it's a werewolf."**

"**No missing hearts?" Sam asked.**

"**Nope. But something ate away at their other organs. Kidneys, lungs, intestines. Guy who did the report thought it was a dog or a wolf until they checked the bite marks. Human."**

"**That's just gross," Sam said, grimacing.**

"**Yeah, tell me about it," I agreed. "So…what're we thinkin'? Demonic possession?"**

"**Why would a demon stop halfway through an attack?" Dean asked.**

"**I think - it could've - yeah, I got nothin'," Sam said.**

**I could practically feel his brain working. "Don't think too hard. You might hurt yourself."**

"**Bite me," he said, half-playful half-serious, so I snapped my teeth at him.**

"**Hey, how'd you get the files, anyway?" Dean asked. "That fast?"**

**I smiled at him. "Well, there was this hot intern that was at the desk. I promised him a favor if he let me make a copy, so we had fast, passionate sex on the copier machine."**

**Sam snickered under his breath while Dean arched an eyebrow in amusement. "Uh-huh. And, ya know, if that was comin' from me, I might believe it, but, uh, you? You're PG-13 whereas _I_ am NC-17. How'd you really get the files?"**

**I laughed once or twice and grabbed his hand. "Lab coat. Nobody stopped me."**

"**Hm. That's more like it," he said, squeezing my hand. "Pervert."**

"**Other pervert." I grinned. "If I _had_ done something like that, I would've learned from you."**

"**Mm…knew I was a bad influence on you."**

"**Ya'll joke around at the most inappropriate times, you know that," Sam said, looking like he didn't really know what to think about it.**

**Dean gave his usual sarcastic grin and said, "Keeps us sane, Sammy. Besides, just because _you_ have no sense of humor, doesn't mean we don't."**

"**I _have_ a -" Sam cut off, exasperated. "You know what? Whatever. We have work to do."**

"**See what I mean? No sense of humor." Dean had said that looking at me even though he'd been talking about Sam. I hid my face in his arm so Sam wouldn't see the wide open smile on my face.**

**God, this felt good. Laughing, joking around, working on a regular case - regular for us, anyway - and not arguing about Dean's deal. Letting things just be for now. Focusing on the case and not the big pink elephant that was Dean dying.**

"**Okay, so what did you guys find out?" I asked.**

"**Not much. Just that the poor guy is grieving," Sam said. "He just lost his brothers."**

**Shadows filled Sam's eyes and then my good mood vanished almost instantly. Damn it. Jeeze, couldn't we go a day without bringing that up or thinking about it? Of course not, but I wanted to.**

**Dean glanced Sam's way, shadows in his own eyes. Dean knew why Sam was the way he was, just like he knew he wouldn't let Sam do anything about it.**

"**Anyway, what was a work of art?" I asked, suddenly remembering, and effectively changing the subject.**

"**Oh, uh, this," Dean said, handing me the notepad he'd been carrying, seeming grateful for the subject-change.**

**On the piece of paper was a bubbly-person thing.**

"**Um…I don't get it. Were you bored?" I asked Sam.**

"**No." Sam seemed caught between being embarrassed and being irritated. "Dean said I was a sketch artist."**

"**Oh…well, you were right. He couldn't have done better."**

"**True," Dean agreed. "I have many skills. Art is not one of them. So, anyway, what d'you wanna do? The werewolf thing didn't pan out, and we have next to nothin' on this guy with that weird tattoo."**

"**Tattoo?" I asked. "The one who attacked the three brothers had a tattoo?"**

"**Yeah. Wile E. Coyote."**

"**Hm. Weird thing to get as a tattoo."**

"**Obviously the dude likes cartoons," Dean said.**

"**Maybe," Sam agreed. "Anyway, we should hit the local tattoo parlors. Most owners keep a record of who gets what tattoo. Maybe we can track this guy that way."**

"**Good idea, Sammy. We'll get right on that."**

"**Hey, you mind if I sit this one out? I didn't get much sleep last night, and I was thinking you could drop me off at the motel and I could take a nap or something." My sleeping pattern was sort of backward at the moment, because of the day I'd slept through when I'd been sick, so I wanted to sleep during the day instead.**

"**Sure, you feelin' okay?" Dean asked.**

"**Yeah," I said honestly. "Yeah, just thinking I should sleep, so I won't get giddy. You can come get me if you find something."**

"**Okay, well, if you want," he said as we reached the car.**

**I could see the worry Dean had for me and if wasn't just because I'd been sick recently. He was wondering what I was going to be doing on my own. He never would've wondered _before_, but now…**

**It hurt that he didn't trust me completely anymore, but I knew it was my own fault so I couldn't complain.**

* * *

**It had been an hour since I'd been dropped off and I'd tried to go to sleep, I really had, but I couldn't, so I was watching TV.**

**I was just flipping aimlessly through the channels - nothing was on except Tom and Jerry, so I watched a few episodes of that and then switched to the news.**

**A woman who had lost her husband was in the hospital. Some old woman had stabbed the guy to death. The wife - widow now - had been taken in yesterday, but she'd only woken up today.**

**Since I couldn't sleep anyway, I decided I'd go check it out. The hospital was only about a mile away, so I could walk. Dean might not like it, me going off without them, but I'd have to do it a lot in the future, so…bad train of thought, time to change the subject. I realized I was becoming avoidy, but I didn't feel like dealing with this head on yet. I was happily - okay, _not_ so happily - vacationing in the land of not coping.**

**I texted Dean, letting him know that I was going back to the hospital because something had come up and I'd see him whenever we met up after that.**

**It was semi-chilly outside, but it was refreshing today. I could walk and just revel in the wind blowing against my face, the cool air filling my lungs.**

**I reached the hospital in about fifteen minutes and I tried to think of a reason why I could be here to see the woman. Julie something. Watson? Maybe? I really needed to start paying more attention to stuff like that.**

**I stopped at the nurses' station and asked if Julie Watson was able to have visitors.**

"**Are you family?" the receptionist asked.**

"**No, but I'm with the church. Grief counselor."**

**The receptionist, who was a Barbie Doll looking chick, looked sympathetic enough and said, "She's awake, but you'll have to ask Dr. Garrison. He's with her right now, if you hurry, you can catch him."**

**She gave me Julie's room number and I did as she said and I hurried. When I got to the room I saw the doctor was restraining Julie, trying to calm her down.**

**I assumed she was trying to leave, because he said, "We need to observe you, all right? The drugs may still be in your system."**

"**But I have to go. I have things to do, arrangements I need to make!"**

"**It can wait," the doctor said softly. "Now, you need to rest. Stay. I'll be back in a few minutes."**

**The doctor reached the doorway where I was standing and he looked expectantly at me. "Can I help you?"**

"**Yes, are you Dr. Garrison?"**

"**Yes, and you are?"**

**I smiled politely. "I'm a volunteer from the church. We usually make house calls, but we heard Julie was in the hospital and that…well, that her husband was no longer with us. I'm with a sort of support group, um, grief counselors…I was hoping I could sit with her for a few minutes."**

**Dr. Garrison nodded his head. "Sure. Maybe you can keep her from trying to run away."**

"**Thank you."**

**He began walking away and I stepped into the room. Julie looked at me before turning away again.**

"**Are you another reporter or cop?"**

"**No," I said and then told her who I was pretending to be. "Look, I know talking to cops and reporters…it's not fun. But I'm not here to ask questions, or…push. I'm just here to listen if you want to talk."**

"**I want to get out of here," she said brokenly. "I feel fine, I need to leave."**

"**Dr. Garrison said you were drugged, he just want to make sure you're okay before you leave."**

**Julie and I sat there in silence for a while, her in the bed and me in a chair pulled up beside her, and then she started talking.**

"**Ken was…I loved him, but sometimes he could make me so mad."**

"**You just wanted to smack him sometimes, huh?"**

"**Exactly," she let out a sound that was between a laugh and a sob. "We were hiking and he got us lost. We were really deep in the woods. We found this house, it was the only one around."**

**Her eyes filled with water and I grabbed her hand. I almost jerked away; I could literally feel the gaping hole that had formed in her chest since Ken had died. Been killed. God, that's what I had to look forward to in eight months. Lost and lonely emptiness.**

"**There was an old woman, she invited us in. We had a little to eat and I guess that's how she drugged us. I didn't eat as much as Ken did, so I wasn't as out of it." She took a few shaky breaths as tears spilled over and she squeezed my fingers tightly. "When the old woman was…carving up Ken…I shoved her, and she fell. Cracked her head on the stove. I think…she's dead. I think I killed her."**

"**You didn't have a choice," I said gently. "Did…Ken do anything or…did something happen to make her do that?"**

"**No," Julie said. "One minute, she's just a sweet old lady, and the next, she was like a monster!"**

**I felt guilt and confusion and _loss_ coming from her in waves and so I tried sending feelings back to her. Only a small amount so she wouldn't know it was coming from me. Mostly I sent peace and warmth. Peace was harder to conjure up lately, but I remembered how I'd felt at Bobby's near his little stream and that's how I sent it to her. I hadn't known it would work because I'd never done that to anyone other than Dean before, but it _did_ work.**

**She sort of slumped backwards onto the bed and began looking tired. Almost relaxed even; she was about to try and sleep.**

"**There was a girl," she said, her voice dragging.**

"**At the house?" I asked, pulling my feelings back a little.**

"**She was outside the window. She just disappeared. Vanished into thin air."**

**A ghost? Spirit possession? Or had she been so drugged she'd been hallucinating?**

"**She had this dark, dark hair and really pale skin. She was around eight. She was a beautiful child. It was odd to see her in the middle of something so horrible."**

**She looked like she was about to cry again, so I sent the peaceful feeling back into her slowly as I watched her drift off. I rubbed the back of her hand with my thumb and kept sending little tendrils of peace and warmth into her.**

**Her face was lax, her breathing was even, there was no tension at all in her body.**

"**My God, you are a miracle worker. I've been trying to get her to do that for the last few hours."**

**I looked back toward the door and saw Dr. Garrison. I noticed now that he was middle-aged. He had big brown eyes, salt and pepper hair, and he looked tired.**

"**Yeah, well, I do what I can." I removed my hand from Julie's gently so I wouldn't disturb her and stood up. "I'm sorry if I took up too much time."**

"**No, she's sleeping. It's what she needs."**

**I reached the door and he let me pass, but then he matched his pace with mine.**

"**I checked in earlier when she was talking to you. You were really good with her. No pushing, no prodding."**

**I shrugged. "Sometimes the best thing for someone in a situation like that is for them to know they're not alone. For someone just to listen to them, or just sit quietly with them."**

"**You sound like you have experience with loss," Dr. Garrison said sympathetically.**

"**Yeah, I do. But, um, who doesn't?"**

"**True. Well, this is my stop."**

**We stopped at a room. There was a name on the door. _C. Garrison_? It wasn't his office, it was a patient's room.**

"**You have a family member here?" I asked.**

"**Calli. My daughter. She's been here for eight years. She's in a coma."**

**Poor guy. "I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how hard that must be." A parent shouldn't have to watch their child die. "What, uh, what happened to her? If you don't mind my asking."**

"**She swallowed bleach. I never figured out how she got her hand on the bottle. My wife found her, brought her to the ER here, and I was on call. My wife passed away last year, and it's just my daughter and me now. She's all I've got left."**

"**I'm really sorry," I said again. I didn't know what else to say other than that. I didn't know what being a parent was like, and hopefully, if I ever had kids, I would never know what it felt like to watch them die.**

* * *

Hey, so I like this chapter for some reason. Yeah, it sucks that Aly was suffering at the beginning. But I love the Bobby scene in the kitchen, I can just see that playing out in my head, for real. Review and let me know what you think. Please? (I'm giving you puppy dog eyes, here) lol


	15. Bedtime Stories Pt Two

**Okay, so...my next offering. I like this chapter...It's definitely a turning point...Maybe, sorta. LOL Enjoy.**

**As always, if you recognize it from the show...it ain't mine.**

**Bedtime Stories  
Part Two**

**I was in the morgue for the second time that day. Only this time there had been someone there and I'd had to pay the guy for the information I'd needed: the address and the name of the lady who'd gone psycho. Or had been possessed. One or the other.**

**After I got what I wanted I called Dean and asked him to come pick me up.**

"**You still at the hospital?"**

"**Yeah, but I have a lead on where we should go next. It'll be dark soon, so we need to hurry."**

"**Yeah, okay. Meet us out front."**

"**Will do. See ya."**

**It took them maybe five minutes to get to the hospital, where I met them out front like I'd said I would. I handed Dean a piece of paper with the information I'd gotten.**

"**That's the place we need to go," I said. "An old woman lived there, but she's dead now."**

"**What does that have to do with anything?" Sam asked. "You think she killed the three brothers?"**

"**No," I said, shaking my head. "But she did kill someone. Ken Watson. Julie Watson was brought in yesterday. She woke up today."**

**I went through everything I'd gotten from Julie while we drove to the address I'd gotten from the dude in the morgue. When I explained how Julie had seen the little girl vanish into thin air, they quickly got on board.**

**It took us a while to get to the old woman's house and Julie had been right. She had lived deep in the woods. It was almost dark now and it was getting colder. I could see my breath when I exhaled.**

**The house had a little one lane road that led to it, a road that looked like it was rarely used. And the house itself was blue and it was small.**

"**Yeah, it looks like a little old lady lived here," Dean said.**

**Inside, I noticed that it was old-fashioned. It was like the old cottages that had the kitchen and the one bedroom and that was pretty much it space-wise. There was an old wood stove near the corner and a place for a chimney.**

**I checked the bedroom while the guys checked the kitchen. The bedroom was less of a bedroom and more a sleeping space in the living room. We didn't really know what exactly we were looking for, so we checked for everything. There was no sulfur, but the EMF went nuts near the window where Julie had said the girl had been.**

"**So…there was a spirit who stood outside the crime scene and watched?" Dean asked.**

"**Look like," Sam said.**

"**What the hell do you make of that?"**

"**Actually, I _do_ have a theory. Uh, sorta." Good ol' Sam. Brain always working.**

"**Hit me."**

"**Well, I'm thinking about fairy tales."**

"**Oh, that's…that's nice. Do you think about fairy tales often?"**

**I stopped doing what I was doing and watched the two guys. It was one of those times that Dean was worried about Sam's mental state because of the things that went through his head. And why was Sam thinking about fairy tales, anyway? What did they had to do with the ghost we were hunting?**

"**No, Dean, I'm talkin' about the murders. A guy and a girl hiking through the woods, an old lady tries to eat them" - carve them up - "that's _Hansel and Gretel_. And then we've got the three brothers arguing over how to build houses, attacked by the big bad wolf."**

"**_The Three Little Pigs_?" Dean asked.**

"**Yeah."**

"**Huh. I thought all those things ended with everybody living happily ever after."**

"**No. Not the originals," Sam said, going into lecture mode. "See the Grim Brothers' stuff was kind of like the folklore of its day, full of sex, violence, cannibalism. It got sanitized over the years, turned into Disney flicks and bedtime stories."**

"**So, you think the murders are, what, a re-enactment?"**

"**That actually makes sense if the ghost girl is controlling the situation," I said. "Julie said the girl was around eight. Fairy tale age."**

"**I'm willin' to bet you top dollar she was at the construction site, too," Sam said.**

**Dean's face took on the expression of a kicked puppy. "We've gotta do research now, don't we?"**

"**Come on, a little research never hurt anyone," I said.**

"**Yeah, yeah."**

* * *

**It was nighttime already so we couldn't really do much other than researching on the laptops. Dean hadn't really said much about me going to the hospital on my own, which was weird because just about two months ago he'd gotten after me for doing stuff on my own and thinking like I was the only one doing the job. Maybe it was because I had been acting more sane lately, not so _woo_-_hoo_ crazy. Or maybe he was thinking the same thing I was; I'd have to get used to doing things on my own because he wasn't going to be here to do them with me.**

**We'd made friends with coffee that night and we'd been searching for half the night already.**

"**So?" Sam asked Dean, who had been using my computer to check local archives from the library. I'd introduced him to the virtual library, which he hadn't known existed and he'd been glad we wouldn't have to visit the library that morning.**

"**So, what?"**

"**What'd you find?"**

"**I've checked every record they had. I found the usual amount of violent childhood deaths for a town this size." Dean sighed and closed the laptop. "Ya wanna know how many were little girls with black hair and pale skin?"**

"**Zero?" I asked.**

"**Zero! Ya wanna know how many little girls with black hair and pale skin have gone missing? Right again! Zip, zilch, _nada_. Tell me you've got something good, because I've totally wasted the last six hours."**

"**Well, you ever hear of Lilian Bailey? She was a British medium from the 1930's."**

**I shrugged; I'd never heard of her.**

"**She got a thing for fairy tales?"**

"**No, trances," Sam said, and again he was in lecture mode. Sometimes, when Dean was in a good mood, he'd find something for Sam to explain to him or act like he didn't know what Sam was talking about just so Sam would explain, because Dean knew Sam loved explaining things. Then other times…when Dean wasn't in such a good mood…it pissed him off to have Sam explain things. "See, she'd go into these unconscious states where, get this, her thoughts and actions were completely controlled by spirits."**

"**Spirit possession?" I asked. I remembered dealing with that a while back when Jack had been alive. We'd both almost been burned alive because of it. I shuddered at the memory.**

"**Yeah," Sam answered.**

"**You think that's what this kid is doing? Sending Wolf Boy and Grandma into trances, making them go kill-crazy?"**

"**Seems like it," Sam said.**

"**That's bizarre, even for us," Dean stated.**

**So a ghost with black hair and white skin was compelling people to do stuff - _bad_ stuff - and we had no leads. Great.**

"**Hair as black as ebony and skin as white as snow," I mumbled to myself. "Snow White."**

"**Did you just quote a fairy tale," Dean asked.**

**I sighed. "Sadly, yeah. The little girl's Snow White, if Julie's description is anything to go by."**

"**Okay, um, what about her? I kinda need back-story here."**

"**Wicked stepmother tries to kill Snow White with a poisoned apple," Sam said. "It doesn't actually kill her, though. It puts her into a deep sleep. So deep it's almost like she's dead."**

"**Like a coma?" I asked, the pieces coming together. "Dr. Garrison's daughter's in a coma. She was poisoned. He said she swallowed bleach, didn't know how she got hold of the bottle. If the story holds true then Callie, the daughter, was poisoned by her stepmother."**

"**Yep, step mom poisons the girl, puts her into a deep sleep," Sam said. "What the motive, you think?"**

**I shrugged. "How am I supposed to know?" I knew in the story it was because Snow White had been the fairest one of all.**

"**It could be like Misha Barton - _Sixth Sense_ not_ The O.C._"**

"**What?" Sam asked, because when it came to entertainment he was culturally retarded.**

"**Hey, you know fairy tales, I know movies. She played the pasty ghost, remember? The mom had that thing where you keep the kid sick so you get all the attention."**

"**Oh, yeah. Munchausen's Syndrome by proxy. Could be." Of course Sam would know the medical term for it.**

"**So, say all these years Callie's been suffering silently, because nobody knows the truth about what Mommy Dearest did."**

"**And after all this time her spirit just gets angrier and angrier, until it finally just starts lashing out."**

**Okay, now that we'd figured out who it was…maybe…I was more concerned with how we were going to stop her.**

"**Callie's been in the hospital for eight years," I said. "She's still there, Dr. Garrison's keeping her alive."**

"**Does make it a bit hard to burn the bones," Dean said.**

"**Ya think?"**

"**Okay, so…maybe she wants her dad to know," I suggested. "Maybe we need to get him to listen. Like…call her to him or something. You know, like we did with that priest dude that one time."**

"**Solid," Dean said. "We can get a few hours of sleep and hit the hospital in the morning."**

* * *

**We did as Dean suggested and got a few hours of sleep before getting up and going to the hospital. They had their FBI ID's just in case.**

**When we arrived I led them to Callie's room. The door was open and nobody was here so we went in. Callie was a teenager with pale skin and black hair. She looked about sixteen, which would've made her around eight when she'd swallowed bleach. So she fit the description and we found a fairy tale book in the drawer by the bed.**

"**Obviously her dad reads to her," I said.**

**Dean nodded. "About a rabid wolf or a cannibalistic old lady. It's enough to drive anyone nuts."**

"**Yeah. So…how do we explain what's going on to Dr. Garrison?" I asked. "Should we just come out and tell the truth. I mean, we kind of don't have the time to do this gently."**

**Neither of the guys answered because two EMT's passed the room pushing a stretcher. We hurried after them and heard them calling out the person's vital stats. All I understood was that whoever it was had been attacked by a mad dog or maybe a wolf.**

**The EMT said the person was a "72-year-old female who had sustained multiple lacerations and puncture wounds."**

"**Wait here," Dean said to me and then he and Sam took off to go see about the woman.**

**I was far enough away that I couldn't hear, but I could still see. The EMT had handed the woman off to a doctor and I assumed that they were trying to stabilize her.**

**Sam and Dean showed the EMT their badges and then a few words were spoken before he handed them a slip of paper from a clipboard he'd been holding. Then they made their way back to me.**

"**You find a way to stop Callie, a'right," Dean said to Sam. "Do the ritual like Aly said or something."**

"**What about you?"**

"**I'm gonna go stop the big bad wolf. Which is the weirdest thing I've ever said." He looked at me now. "Come with me."**

**We walked silently to the car and then once safe inside I asked what was going on.**

"**_Little Red Riding Hood_, that's what Sam said." He gave me the piece of paper the EMT had given him. It had an address on it. "Little girl is probably there; she's the granddaughter. She's…probably next."**

"**The big bad wolf?" I asked, remembering his earlier statement.**

"**Yup."**

**The address led to a house that was about ten minutes away, but with Dean driving it took us half the time. The house had a van in front of it and the house itself was decent sized, two stories.**

**The door was locked and since we really didn't have time to pick the lock Dean just kicked the door in. I felt something off, but I didn't see anything around that shouldn't be. The girl was here though - the granddaughter. Little Red, she actually had a red hooded jacket on.**

**Dean, who had his gun at the ready, began to go towards the girl, who was crouched in the corner.**

"**You okay?"**

"**Yeah."**

**I was standing behind Dean and taking in the girl's appearance when I was grabbed from behind and tossed pretty much headfirst into the side of a table. I was surprised I didn't see little cartoon birdies circling around my head. I had actually scratched myself, though, because I felt as the blood flowed down into my right eye. That didn't feel too good; it stung like a bitch.**

**I heard the sound of struggling and then a scream - the girl. I got up, head spinning and watched as Dean was thrown across the room by some guy who had a Wile E. Coyote tattoo on his arm. This was the guy who had attacked the brothers.**

**He had tossed Dean into a China cabinet and it was completely smashed now. When Dean got back to his feet he seemed to get a handle on the situation, and I was pretty sure Dean could hold his own against this guy even though he was technically possessed, I went to the girl and helped her up.**

**I noticed she had dirt on her face and also claw marks, like maybe…the possessed guy had scratched his fingernails across her cheek.**

"**Hey, come on, I'm gonna get you out of here, okay?"**

**The little girl nodded and stood up shakily and I rushed her out the door. I heard something else smash and I hoped it hadn't been Dean's body doing the smashing.**

**I made it to the car with the girl and I finally felt my ghost weirdar go off. Callie was around somewhere. Inside, probably.**

"**Hey, what's your name?" I asked the girl. She seemed twelve-ish.**

"**Jenny."**

"**Jenny? Okay, well, Jenny, I'm Aly. And I'm gonna help you, but I gotta go help my friend first, okay? Just stay here with the car. Okay?"**

**She nodded hurriedly and I rushed back into the house I'd just come out of. When I saw that Dean was okay I felt relief, of course, but then I noticed that he was getting ready to stab the 'wolf' in the chest with scissors.**

**All of a sudden, though, the guy shouted, "Whoa! Whoa, stop, stop! Where am I?"**

**Dean's head bowed in relief - he hadn't wanted to kill the guy. Well, he _never_ wanted to kill anyone, but he was willing when there was no other choice. This would have totally been self defense.**

**Dean lowered the scissors and I assumed Callie wasn't here anymore because I couldn't feel her.**

"**What's going on?" the guy asked, and, uh, I was totally letting Dean handle _that_ conversation.**

* * *

**I reached the car again and immediately began tending to the little girl. She didn't appear to be hurt badly, but I was going to make sure before I decided she was healthy.**

"**Are you hurt anywhere else?" I asked, gesturing to the claw marks on her face.**

"**I don't - I don't think so," she stuttered. "I don't understand."**

"**That man was, um, under the influence of something." I sighed. I needed the keys for the first aid kit that was in the trunk so I could begin to clean Jenny up. True, I could just heal her, but she had dirt - or something - all over her face, and I didn't know if anything had gotten in the wound or not.**

"**He won't hurt you anymore; my friend took care of it."**

**The little girl seemed to be doing better than most of the adults I'd seen go through stuff like this. There was no going into shock or refusing to believe what had happened. There was just easy acceptance. She'd gone through something bad, but she wasn't going to let it rule her. That was smart.**

"**Hey, is this your house of your grandma's house?"**

"**Grandma's. She was supposed to pick me up from school, but he was there instead. He had her car."**

**Poor girl. I could see that playing out in my head; her getting into the van and then instead of a sweet, loving grandmother she got the big bad wolf.**

**It wasn't long after that that Dean came out. The guy with the tattoo was nowhere to be seen. I noticed, as Dean grew closer, that he had a cut on his head. It wasn't bleeding too bad.**

"**Hey, you guys okay?" Dean took in the girl first, then me. "Um…you're bleeding."**

**Oh, right. I'd been thrown into a table headfirst. But I was okay. The blood was just leftover.**

"**I'm fine. It's gone." I meant the cut and I knew Dean got it.**

**I didn't have to ask for the first aid kit; Dean went straight for it. He fixed Jenny up first, cleaned her face as best as he could and then he wiped away the blood from me. I saw that he was favoring his chest and I wondered if he was hurt.**

"**What's wrong?" I asked, reaching up to touch the place where his heart rested; that's the spot he seemed to be hurting. Funny, because that was probably true in more ways than one.**

"**Nothing. I got a tattoo."**

"**A…tattoo?"**

"**Yeah. I'll explain later. It didn't really hurt until that fight."**

"**Oh. Okay." I didn't really understand the whole Dean-getting-a-tattoo thing. What the hell would he do that for?**

"**Sam got one, too."**

"**Really? Is that some kind of new group initiation thing? Because there's no way I'm inking my flesh."**

**Dean shook his head, smirking. "Nah. You don't need one."**

"**Hm. Okay then."**

**Dean said he'd explain later, so that was that, and I let it go. I focused on Jenny now. Her wounds were cleaned and they didn't look that bad now, but still…**

"**Can you keep a secret?" I asked her, though I was sure I was going to heal her either way. "I'm gonna show you something, but you can't ever tell anyone. Okay?" Not that anyone would believe her, anyway.**

**The little girl nodded and I went to her and leaned down to touch her face gently. She didn't flinch; I didn't know if it was because we'd saved her or because I was just a non-threatening person, but she seemed to trust me.**

**She did, however, gasp when she felt the pain from her wounds go away. Then she touched her cheek with wonder, but she didn't ask how I'd done it. Smart kid; she couldn't tell my secret if she didn't know how I'd done it in the first place.**

"**Thank you," she whispered.**

**I shrugged. "No problem."**

**Dean cleared his throat. "Okay, so, we should get you home. Where's home?"**

**With that, we all piled into the car and Jenny began directing us to her home. I healed Dean as he started driving.**

* * *

**As soon as we dropped Jenny off Dean began fiddling with the radio and then he said, "So, you healed her."**

"**I healed you, too," I said. "And if she had been an adult, I wouldn't have risked it."**

"**Good. That's all I needed to know."**

"**So…the tattoo."**

"**Right. Remember those anti-possession charms Bobby gave us? Well…we got the design tattooed on our chests."**

"**Oh. 'Kay." Made sense now. Also made sense that I _wouldn't_ need one, because according to Jack, I couldn't be possessed by anything dark.**

**With that over, a comfortable silence fell over us and we made our way to the hospital. When we got there we split up; I wanted to see if Julie was still here and if she was, I wanted to see how she was doing.**

**I went to the room she'd been in the day before and saw that she _was_ there, but she was dressed like she was getting ready to leave.**

"**Hey," I said softly. She'd been facing the bed and I didn't want to frighten her.**

**She turned to me and, remembering who I was, smiled softly. "Hey. Alyson, right?"**

"**Yeah. I…wanted to see how you are."**

"**I get to leave. Finally."**

"**Bet that makes you happy."**

"**Little bit." She sighed. "Some seconds are harder than others. You know?"**

**I nodded emphatically. "Yeah. I do." I stepped in the room and went to her. "It's like everything's okay - not _good_, but okay - and then something happens that reminds you and it's like instant heart failure. Like your heart literally stops beating for a second and you can't breathe. It's almost like -"**

"**You don't know how to anymore," she finished for me, tears glistening in her eyes. "You don't have the will to."**

**And yeah, that was it exactly.**

"**Does it get easier?" she asked, half-whispering.**

**Oh, God, I didn't know the answer to that question. It hadn't for me yet; I hadn't even come to terms with the fact that Dean was going to die, so of course it hadn't gotten easier. But…it couldn't hurt as bad forever, right? The pain _had_ to lessen eventually.**

"**It has to," I said. "I, um…I can't stay, but I'm glad you're feeling well enough to be let out."**

**Julie surprised me by hugging me and it took a second for me to respond, but I eventually hugged her in return.**

"**Thank you. I mean, I know all you did was listen, but it helped a lot," she said before letting me go. "Just knowing someone understands…you have no idea how much that helps."**

"**It's no problem, really. I do what I can."**

**She smiled softly again. "God, you're a wonderful person. What are you doing on this planet?"**

**That brought a smile to my face. "Helping people, I guess."**

"**Yeah, well, don't ever stop."**

**I shook my head. "Wasn't planning on it," I promised. "I, uh, really gotta go now, but take care of yourself, Julie."**

"**You too."**

* * *

**It didn't take long to find Sam and Dean. They were talking to Dr. Garrison.**

"**And the girl's okay?" To which Dean nodded. "So…it's really over?"**

"**Yeah. All thanks to you," Sam said.**

**I wondered what Dr. Garrison had done. Had he pulled the plug on his daughter? God, that sucked.**

"**Callie was the most important thing in my life. But I should've let her go a long time ago."**

**He'd been holding on for eight years; he'd been holding on when there was nothing left to hold on to.**

"**See you around, Doc," Dean said.**

**The doctor huffed. "I sure hope not."**

**I smiled softly as he walked away. I agreed with him; hopefully we'd never have a reason to come back here.**

**I noticed Dean was watching the doctor oddly and I wondered what that was about. Didn't take long to find out.**

"**You know what he said - that's some good advice."**

**He _was_ talking about something other than letting him go, right? Something the doctor had said before I'd gotten here?**

"**Is that what you want me to do, Dean? Just let you go?"**

**Dean didn't say anything and, after a moment of silence, he began walking away, leaving Sam and me alone. Dean's eyes had been closed off before he'd walked away and I felt _my_ eyes fill up with tears.**

**I _hated_ when Dean did things like that. Acted like he didn't matter and we shouldn't care as much as we did.**

**What did he _want_ anyway? I didn't know what to do with him anymore. I knew what he _needed_ but he wouldn't take it if I offered, and I couldn't force him to accept my help. And I was just…so fed up with everything.**

**I'd noticed since I'd been spending more and more time away from Dean that the only time I felt any peace at all was when I was away from him. It killed me to think that and I hated myself for it, but it was true.**

**I swallowed back a sob that burned my throat threatening to make its way past my lips, needing to be released. And this was the time I usually thought of something else, avoided the issue, think of anything _but_ the important thing that was Dean.**

**But I couldn't avoid it now. Not this time. Because when I looked at Sam he had tears in _his_ eyes.**

"**Dean was…" I didn't know what to say. He'd been being an ass. That was all, right?**

**It seemed that Sam didn't want to talk about it, because all he didn't was shake his head, and begin walking. I had no choice but to follow.**

**At the car I got in the backseat and tried to calm myself down. I did _not_ want to cry. Not here, not now, and not in front of Dean.**

* * *

**When we reached the motel, Sam took off; he said he needed a few hours alone. So it was just me and Dean, and pretty soon it was just going to be Dean here and me in another room. I couldn't do what he wanted anymore…I just couldn't.**

**When I began packing my bags he asked what I was doing.**

"**I'm giving you what you want," I said. "I'm letting you go." Just saying that made my throat tighten. "I can't…do this anymore." I bit my lip to keep it from trembling. "I _love _you, I do, and I've tried to be what you need me to be, but I can't. I just can't. I can't be with you when you've been trying to push me away all along. It doesn't work that way. _I _don't work that way."**

"**So, what, you're leaving?" The way Dean said it I could tell he didn't want me to know that the idea of me leaving hurt him. But he'd expected it anyway.**

"**No, Dean, I have nowhere else to go. I mean, sure, I could stay with Bobby, but I wouldn't be happy there. Not really. But more than that…my _home_ is where you and Sam are. Us not being together won't change that. Besides, I'm a hunter, I can't just stop hunting, ya know? So…" My shoulders slumped and my stomach sort of felt like it was turning itself inside out. "So I'm getting my own room from now on. It's like you said a couple months ago. We can be here for each other. Just not like that." Not that we were really together anyway.**

**When I left the room - with my stuff - I didn't look back. I couldn't because I knew that if I saw an ounce of pain reflected in his eyes it would force me to stay. And I couldn't, not anymore. I couldn't keep going back and forth, being with him one second and then not being with him the next.**

**I refused to continue to play that game with him. I refused to hang onto him when he'd obviously already let go.**

* * *

So, Aly had put on her big girl panties and put an end to the circling around each other. And this one's it. There's no more going back and forth. Most of you probably won't be happy with that. SORRY, but it had to happen some time. Anyway...leave a comment, let me know what you like, what you don't like, all that stuff. Thanks.


	16. Don't Even Have A Name For It :

**Okay, so...this is the shortest chapter I've ever written, and it's more just a plot bunny that got stuck in my head than anything else, so... Here it is. It's in Dean's POV. His reaction to the break-up pretty much. Bunches of love to you guys! :)**

**The motel was a mess. The mirror was shattered; the lamps were smashed; even some of the pillows were torn apart. Courtesy of yours truly. I stood in the mess, taking it in. I hadn't really paid attention when I'd been doing it; I'd just done it. Out of rage? Sorrow? Broken heart? Who the hell knew?**

**Aly had left. Not left-left, but me… She'd left me. Like I'd wanted. Wanted, but _not_ at the same time. She'd left, walked away, and I had _let_ her. I hadn't followed her. I could've fixed everything - well, not _everything_ - if I'd just…followed her. Apologized or something.**

**_I'm giving you what you want. I'm letting you go._**

**Aly was letting me go. It hurt even though it was for the best. Well, best for her. I guessed I had finally pushed her too far, hurt her too much. And I _had_ been hurting her; I knew that. I wasn't blind or stupid. I could see how she was barely hanging on sometimes.**

**I had known this thing between Aly and me was going to be a problem and like she'd said, I'd been pushing her away. But she'd never actually _let_ me push her away; she'd always held on just a little.**

**Even when I'd been a total ass to her, she'd hung on. But she couldn't anymore. She'd said it herself. And now there was a hole in my chest. It had formed the second she'd walked out the door because I knew that that was it. There was no turning back now.**

**And if, by some miracle, we happened to save my sorry ass, it would take some serious damage control to get back to any semblance of a normal relationship between us.**

**Hell, if I even tried to get her back. I didn't deserve her, had done nothing to earn her affection, and I never would understand what exactly it was she saw in me…but sometimes when she'd look at me it was like she was looking at the world. _Her_ world.**

**I didn't want that responsibility because I _knew_ what it felt like when your whole world came crashing down around you. I'd felt it when Sam had died. I didn't want Aly to ever feel that empty and lost, and definitely not over me.**

**But I could see it happening more and more each day. Sometimes I'd look at her and she was fine - okay, maybe not _fine_, but she'd be genuinely smiling or laughing and she'd have this light in her eyes; the light I fell in love with - and then something would always bring her back to thoughts about me and I would watch as the light would fade out. Each time it was like she died a little more inside and it was all because of me.**

**I couldn't even do anything because I couldn't help her and push her away at the same time. I wanted to help her. God, did I want to. Every instinct told me to, but I couldn't. I couldn't help her even though if the roles were reversed she'd do anything in her power to help me. Hell, she _wanted_ to help me now, but I wouldn't let her.**

**She'd refused to talk to me at first and yeah, I'd wanted her to talk to me, but I'd understood she was hurting and I'd deserved every hurtful thing she'd thrown at me. The bratty behavior, the hanging out with a guy I didn't like or trust.**

**I should've never tried to get her to talk to me again. I should've pushed her away and kept her away. But I'd seen what it was doing to her and I couldn't. But now, now she'd made the decision to stop _us_ because she couldn't take it anymore.**

**She had left hours ago, but I could still smell her here.**

**_I'm letting you go_.**

**She hadn't been mad when she'd said those words. She'd actually tried to do it gently so she wouldn't hurt me and that had just made it worse. It put all the things she'd done to intentionally hurt me to shame because…this time she hadn't meant to. But those four words had cut me deeply. They were the most hurtful things she'd ever said to me…because she had meant them.**

**But I couldn't complain, right? I'd brought it all on myself.**

"**What the hell happened, Dean?" Sam's voice came from the doorway, but I didn't answer. Ironically enough, I wasn't worried about him at the moment. "Dean, what happened? Where's Aly?"**

"'**Nother room. She, uh…she left."**

"**What? She's -"**

"**She left, Sam." My voice was rough and I felt this pressure building in my chest, bubbling up to my throat. God, my throat was actually burning. I hadn't felt that way since Sam had died, and now Aly was making me feel that way?**

"**Well, where's she gonna go?" Sam shook his head. "She can't just leave."**

"**She's not leaving-leaving. It's just me she's leaving."**

"**Um…don't you mean it's you she's sticking around for?"**

"**Yeah, well, whatever. Point is…we're not together anymore."**

**Walling off the emotions that swirled inside me, I turned and left the room and the mess behind. I _really_ needed a drink or two. Or ten, maybe? And a good fight wouldn't hurt.**

* * *

**Drinking alone sucked. Drinking alone when you don't even plan on getting laid later sucked even more. Not that I would if I could; I was too busy thinking about Aly in a one track way. Which naturally led to more drinking.**

**I didn't really know how much I'd had, but I was comfortably numb…for a while. Until I thought about Aly, which was pretty much all that filled my head space…so I wasn't numb at all, actually. Even when I was looking at other women it reminded me of her; it reminded me of why exactly I wasn't interested in any of the girls here.**

**Before…this had totally been my scene. Seedy bars, scantily dressed girls. Girls that gave me whatever just because I smiled at them. I was charming and I looked good. Girls that were easy spread their legs for less.**

**Then came Aly. She'd shined like a light when I'd needed her most and now I was pretty much abandoning her when she needed _me_ most. Some boyfriend I was; some _friend_ I was.**

**Whatever. I'd screwed up. I should've been used to that feeling, but I wasn't. Funny thing since screwing up was what I did best.**

**God, everything I touched…I ruined it somehow.**

**Mom had been like a god in my eyes; I figured that was normal when you were four. Your mom is supposed to be the most beautiful woman in your life at that age. I had loved her with everything I had and she'd died.**

**Dad…I'd practically worshiped the ground he'd walked on and he'd died for me. Then I'd gone and sold my soul for Sam because I hadn't been able to save him in time.**

**Sam, who I was supposed to take care of, _needed_ to take care of. That was my job. Annoy the crap out of him, yeah, but protect him all the same. Only I hadn't. I'd failed at that, too.**

**And then there was Aly. Sweet, innocent, good Aly. Only she wasn't so innocent anymore. I'd taken that away from her. She'd lost her innocence the minute she'd learned about the deal I'd made. That had been the turning point for her. The point where this life, this _job_, had become too much for her.**

**I huffed out a laugh when I realized how ironic it was that her innocence was tied to me. Maybe _was_ me. Hell if I knew.**

**And the ramblings of a drunk person wasn't anything to listen to anyway. I was giving myself a headache. Time for another shot.**

"'**Nother," I said to the bartender. I'd had a goal to get shit-faced and I was slowly reaching my destination.**

"**Actually, he's had enough."**

**I sighed, probably a little over the top, but I was drunk so no one can blame me anyway. Sam was here beside me now.**

"**You follow me here?" I asked and didn't care if my speech was slow and slurred.**

"**Yeah. I've been waiting outside for over two hours." Sam sighed, looking disappointed because of the drink in my hand. "What're you doing, Dean?"**

**I smiled lazily. "Getting drunk-faced. Wanna join?"**

"**No, Dean. And I think you've had enough."**

"**No, I'm s-still conscious so I'm sure I can handle more."**

"**I'm takin' you back to the motel," he said firmly.**

"**Don't wanna," I said and I had to really focus to remember how to talk right.**

"**Aly wouldn't want you to drink yourself stupid, now _come on_!"**

**Sam was losing his patience because I was intentionally being difficult. But, hello, I _needed_ a drink. Well, more drinks than I had already had. I could still think clearly, so I obviously hadn't had enough.**

"**She's not here," I pointed out.**

"**No, but she's at the motel and if you don't come with me right now, I swear I will go get her and let _her_ bring you back."**

**God, Sam was such a drama queen, but he really would do what he'd threatened, and I didn't want that. Didn't want her seeing me like this because she would know _why_ I was drinking and she would feel bad. I didn't want that, didn't want her to feel any worse than she already did. Not because of me.**

"**Fine, buzz kill," I said, standing up and , whoa, tilt-awhirl. I hadn't known how hammered I was until that moment. I would definitely be stumbling my way back to the motel. I hadn't driven my baby. I'd intended to get drunk and I wasn't going to risk doing damage to her by being stupid.**

**Sam tried to help me along but I shrugged him off. "G'off me. 'M fine."**

"**Yeah, you came to a bar to drink alone because you're fine," Sam said sarcastically.**

**We started walking - well, _Sam_ walked; I stumbled - and my brain started hurting with Aly-thoughts.**

"**She'd have been better off with someone else as a boyfriend." That's what I'd wanted to say. How it came out, I didn't know, and even if I _had_ known, my judgment wasn't to be trusted at the moment.**

"**I don't think so." Sam took my arm, probably to keep me from falling over myself. "She had a terrific boyfriend. He's just in a sticky situation. We'll get you out of it."**

**In the drunken state I was in I couldn't find it in me argue. Let him believe what he wanted; what the hell did it matter, anyway? Even if we saved me I was still damned. The way I lived…there was no way I could go anywhere else _but_ Hell.**

**As for now, I just wanted my head on a pillow. And a bathroom. Pressure was building in my bladder. Not good.**

"**Ga pee." Meant to say 'gotta', but whatever.**

**Sam huffed out a laugh. "So go behind a building, you're a guy."**

"**It's cold out here," I said.**

"**Well, then hold it." Sam tugged on my arm and I followed; didn't really have a choice.**

* * *

**Back at the motel the first thing I did was go to the bathroom. Damn alcohol. I'd drink so much I knew I had to be standing there for two minutes and then I realized I was _just_ standing there. Didn't know how long I'd been done.**

**When I finally made it to the bed I realized my mistake. It smelled like her. God, was I to get no peace? Ever?**

**I laid down nonetheless, keeping one foot planted firmly on the ground. Even with her scent all over the sheets - or maybe because of it - it didn't take long for sleep to come.**

* * *

**The next morning - afternoon more likely - I woke up to a spotless room. Sam had obviously cleaned up the room while I'd been out like a light.**

**My head felt like thunder was rolling through it and I got up unsteadily to go to the bathroom. After I was done I went back to the main room and plopped back down on the bed, jarring my aching head.**

**I grabbed at my temples and pressed hard. I had almost forgotten how bad hangovers sucked I hadn't had one in so long. Jeeze.**

**I breathed in and out slowly. I glanced around the room slowly. Sam wasn't here. There was, however, two pills and a glass of water on the bedside table. _Aly_ had been here, she was the one who kept the headache medicine because she was the one who was more prone to getting headaches. She thought too much and it overtaxed her brain. That was my theory, anyway.**

**That, however, was not the point. The point was she'd left medicine and that meant she knew I'd been drunk last night and she'd cared enough to leave medicine.**

**A knock came from the door and I debated whether to open it or not. It was probably the manager from the front office wanting to talk about payment for the damage I'd done. I guessed I _should_ answer because I had done a number on the room.**

**When I opened the door, though, it wasn't the motel manager; it was Aly. Aly, who had two coffees in a cup-holder in one hand and a bottle of 7-Up in the other.**

"**Can I come in?" she asked, sounding unsure of herself. Looking unsure of herself. It reminded me of when we'd first gotten together. She'd always second-guessed herself when it came to things that dealt with me and our relationship.**

"**You don't have to ask or knock, Aly." I moved away from the doorway to let her in. She needed to know that just because we weren't together…it didn't make her any less welcome.**

"**Okay." She started fidgetting from foot to foot. "Um…I didn't know if your stomach could handle coffee, but I got you one anyway. And I got you a 7-Up in case you couldn't drink the coffee."**

**Why would she do this after everything I'd put her through? After making it where she'd had to give me up even though she didn't want to and _I_ didn't want her to. Why would she insist on taking care of me _now_?**

"**My stomach is fine, but my head is killing me."**

"**I left you some medicine."**

"**Yeah, I saw it. I just woke up."**

"**Oh…um, okay then. I'll, uh…just…" She placed both drinks on the dresser and then bit her lip. "I'll go, I guess."**

"**You don't have to leave, Aly. You can…stay for a while."**

**Her body sort of lost the awkwardness like that's what she'd wanted me to say. Even though we weren't together she didn't want to be alone. I wasn't too crazy with that concept either.**

"**Oh, thank God." **

**I could practically feel the relief come off of her in waves. I actually could feel it affecting me. I didn't fight against it even though I knew I would miss it when she left again. I knew she probably didn't even know she was doing it and I didn't want it to stop because it was a part of what made her Aly.**

**Not to mention it kind of made me my headache fade for the moment.**

"**So, um…this room looked like a cyclone had hit it this morning."**

"**Yeah, uh…_my_ cyclone."**

"**Oh…well, that's good. I thought maybe you and Sam had fought or something."**

"**Nah. It was just me. Did you see Sam this morning?"**

"**Uh, yeah. Went to the library."**

"**Of course." He was probably looking for a job. Or for a way to save me.**

**The relief had faded and tension had filled the room again. _God_, this was hard. She was right here, but it felt like she was a thousand miles away. Is this how _she'd_ felt? How had she handled it?**

"**Okay, you know what? We need to stop. We're still good, here. You're still Aly, and I'm still Dean, and we still get along. Right? We're still friends, aren't we?"**

**Hopefully we were because I didn't know if I could stand losing her completely.**

"**Of course we're still friends. I just…I thought you might need time, or…I don't know. I didn't wanna push if you were mad at me or needed space or whatever."**

**I didn't need time or space and I wasn't mad at her. This one was all me, and she didn't need to feel guilty about anything.**

**She hadn't done anything wrong.**

**

* * *

So...how was my Dean voice. I'm not too sure about it. Especially drunk Dean. I've never been 'hammered' so...would appreciate it if you guys let me know what you think. :) Thanks**


	17. Red Sky at Morning Pt One

**Okay, so...my next offering.**

**I don't own anything that you recognize from the actual show.**

**Enjoy :)**

**Red Sky at Morning  
Part One**

**It had been three days since I'd said good-bye to Dean and things were strained, but not between me and Dean. It was more between me and Sam. I didn't know why; I hadn't done anything to him. Maybe it was because I'd flat out refused to do anything to save Dean unless it was guaranteed to not hurt Sam in the process.**

**Things between me and Dean, however, were…awkward sometimes, but they were okay. Not great, but okay. Things didn't change too much because, above all things…we were friends. That's how the relationship had started and even after everything…we could still be friends. We still loved each other, were still _in_ love with each other, but we couldn't have that anymore, so I settled for the next best thing.**

**Friendship. It was easy to be friends after I'd stopped hanging on so tight. It was almost easier than actually being with him. Easier, not better. I admitted it being easier to not be with him had a lot to do with how I was acting. I was _me _-me and not the bratty version of me that had been rearing its ugly head since Dean had made the deal.**

**We were still in New York because we hadn't found another job; we had no reason to go anywhere. I spent most of my time with Sam and Dean - that hadn't changed - but I did sleep in my own room. I didn't really like it, so I kept the TV or the radio on at night, sometimes even a light. It was a false sense of security, but I couldn't have my real security, so…I would just have to make due.**

**I had taken to going to sleep with a gun under my pillow just in case I needed it for some reason. I took all the usual precautions, of course…salt at the doors and windows, things like that, but one could never be too careful.**

**One day while Sam was out and I was with Dean, Dean surprised me by asking about the Colt. He wanted to know if I'd used it recently.**

"**I've never fired the thing," I said. "Why?"**

"**There's a bullet missing."**

**I shrugged. "Well, it wasn't me."**

"**Then it was Sam." Dean shook his head. "Damn it."**

"**You think he -"**

"**Went after the crossroads demon, yeah."**

**That wasn't hard to figure out; Sam had been talking about doing that since we'd fixed the Colt. Well…since _Bobby_ had fixed the Colt.**

"**Did you know he was going to?" Dean asked and I shook my head instantly.**

"**No. I mean, I knew he'd thought about it, but no. I-I would've stopped him had I known. Or I would've come to you."**

**I wanted Dean to stay alive more than anything in the world, but there were some things I just wouldn't do to get that. Risking Sam was one of them.**

"**Hey, um…could you not tell him we talked about this?" Dean asked. "I wanna see if he'll tell me himself."**

"**You want me to lie to him?" Dean knew that he and Sam both could always tell when I was lying.**

"**No. Just don't bring it up. Ya know?"**

**I shrugged uncertainly. "Sure. Just, um… You know, why don't you just ask him?" That would have been the easy thing to do.**

"**Because I want to see if he'll tell me before I mention it."**

"**Why? I mean, obviously it didn't work or he would've mentioned it already. He wouldn't have kept that from you."**

"**Yeah, well, still. It's the principle of the thing. I specifically told him _not_ to -"**

"**You know how well he follows orders, Dean. Sam will do the exact opposite of what you tell him to do, simply _because_ you told him to do it."**

"**Yeah, well…" Dean shrugged, knowing I was right. "Still wrong that he didn't tell me."**

* * *

**When Sam got back with a six pack I left the room and went to my own. I'd dealt with a drinking Sam before and I hadn't liked what I'd heard, so best to just leave that one alone for now. That wasn't the only reason I'd left; my phone had been vibrating and when I looked I saw it was Bobby.**

"**Yeah?" Something I'd picked up from Sam and Dean. Instead of saying 'hello' like a normal person, I just said 'yeah.'**

"**Are you okay?"**

"**Um…okay, random. Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"**

"**Sam said you left." His tone was cautious.**

"**Yeah. I left, but I didn't _leave_. Ya know?" And he wouldn't just call to be calling, right? "So, what is it?"**

"**How's Dean taking it?"**

"**The way Dean always takes things. He acts like it doesn't bother him when it really bugs the hell out of it."**

"**Hm."**

"**Yeah. So…did you really call to check up on us or is there something else?"**

**Bobby waited a beat and then answered. "I'm doing a favor for a friend, a guy named William Connors. He wanted me to check something out. It's probably nothing."**

"**You wouldn't have called if it was nothing," I pointed out.**

"**Well, it's nothing so far."**

"**Oh." Okay, well then, maybe it was nothing. "You said somebody asked you to check it out. Check what out?"**

"**Some kind of artifact."**

"**Is it cursed?"**

"**I don't know. I don't really know what I'm looking for."**

"**Um…okay. How are you supposed to -"**

"**He said I'd know it when I see it. He said to expect thieves. Demonic ones. Apparently they want this thing for something."**

"**Awesome. That's just…awesome," I said. "Note to self and Bobby: Things that demons want are usually not conducive to the welfare of the rest of the world."**

"**Yeah. Reason I took this job. I'm at a shipping yard right now, scoping the place out. Will's been tracking this thing for a while now. It never stays in one place for too long. Last place it was…Japan, I think…the demons wanted it then too. Lots of innocent people were killed because of it."**

"**So the demons are serious about it then." Great. Determined demons and a land full of oblivious humans. That was…annoying.**

**Then suddenly… "I've gotta go," came from Bobby's end.**

"**Well, wait, what's going on?"**

"**I'll call you back."**

"**Yeah, you better," I said quickly before hanging up. If he didn't call back by the time an hour was up I'd tell Sam and Dean about what Bobby was up to. And what _was_ he up to, anyway?**

**He'd sounded strange on the phone and he'd had to go quickly. And he'd never really said where he was either, just that he was at a shipping yard. There were probably millions of them in America alone. Maybe that was an exaggeration, but still…**

**I didn't have to worry too much or too long because Bobby called back within twenty minutes. He wasn't very happy with the way things had gone down, apparently, because he sounded frustrated.**

"**So, I take it whatever you wanted wasn't there?"**

"**No, it probably was, but like Will said…demons want it too. There was a fight. I did an exorcism, but there were alarms the demons set off and cops showed up."**

"**Ah…sucks for you." I began fidgetting. "Um…you're not using your one phone call to call me, are you?"**

"**Don't ya think I might've mentioned that fact, ya idjit?" Okay, so he was still fond of me. "I didn't get caught."**

"**Good to know."**

"**Yeah, well, I was only callin' back because I said I would." Good ol' reliable Bobby.**

"**Well, thanks," I said, and then I heard a resounding _click_. "Good-bye to you too."**

* * *

**We were finally leaving New York; we had a case to work on the eastern seaboard. Some chick had drowned in the shower. How the hell _that_ had happened was beyond me. That's what we were going to find out.**

**We were speeding toward our destination. Dean was behind the wheel, so…of course we were speeding.**

"**So, I've been waiting since Maple Springs," Dean said. "You got somethin' to tell me?" He looked at Sam to let him know he was talking to _him_.**

"**It's not your birthday," Sam said hesitantly.**

"**No."**

**I could practically feel Sam's brain working backwards trying to figure out if he'd forgotten something.**

"**Happy Purim? Dude, I don't know. I have no idea what you're talkin' about."**

"**There's a bullet missing from the Colt," Dean said angrily. "Wanna tell me how that happened?" No answer. "I know it wasn't me, so unless you've been shooting at some incredibly evil cans…"**

"**Dean…"**

"**You went after her, didn't you? The crossroads demon, even after I told you not to."**

"**Yeah, well." Sam didn't sound apologetic at all, and I didn't blame him. He wanted to save Dean and I wasn't going to fault him for that.**

"**You could've gotten yourself killed!" Dean yelled.**

"**But I didn't." Sam sounded like he didn't want to argue. He sounded tired, actually.**

"**And you _shot_ her?"**

"**She was a smartass!"**

"**So, what? Does that - does that mean I'm out of my deal?" Dean asked.**

"**Don't you think I might've mentioned that little fact, Dean?" Sam asked. "No. Someone else holds the contract."**

"**Who?" Dean and I asked in unison. Because that fact there was an interesting one to know.**

"**She wouldn't say," Sam answered quietly.**

"**Well, we should find out who. Of course, our best lead would be the crossroads demon. Oh, wait a minute…"**

"**That's not funny."**

"**No, it's not! It was a stupid friggin' risk and you shouldn't have done it."**

"**I shouldn't have done it?" Now Sam wanted to argue. "You're my brother, Dean, and no matter what you do I'm gonna try and save you. And I'm sure as _hell_ not gonna apologize for it, all right?"**

**Dean didn't say anything after that. The rest of the ride was spent in tense silence. Sam wouldn't look at Dean; Dean wouldn't look at Sam.**

**I rolled my eyes. They were worse than a bunch of girls having a cat fight.**

* * *

**When we reached wherever we were going - I didn't even know where the hell we were - Sam and Dean got a room and I got my own like I'd said I would. I couldn't go back on that now. Even though I hated sleeping alone.**

**Granted, I only used the room at night because I still spent the majority of my time with my guys.**

**I had a routine now. I would go in the room and make sure everything was good to go - the salt lines and all the other precautions I took. Then I would go to Sam and Dean's room and stay with them until I was ready to go to bed.**

**As it was, I wouldn't be going to bed for a while because we were going to talk to the aunt of the girl who had died. They had lived together. They had lived in the extremely expensive part of wherever we were. There were houses with different wings here. The kind of houses where, nine times out of ten, people didn't _really_ know the others they were living with because they had enough room in the house to never see one another.**

**The girl who had _drowned_, her name was Sheila. Sheila Case; her aunt had the same last name.**

**The aunt was one of those crazy old lady's that I couldn't help but like. I couldn't help but want to laugh either. She, uh…had a thing for Sam. She was practically undressing him with her eyes. It made Sam very uncomfortable. Dean, however, seemed to be getting a kick out of it.**

"**You were the one who found your niece, correct?" Sam asked.**

"**I came home, she was in the shower."**

"**Drowned?"**

"**So the coroner says," Ms. Case said in disbelief. "Now, you tell me, how can someone drown in a shower?"**

**Good question, that.**

"**How would you describe Sheila's behavior the days before her death?" Sam asked. "I mean, did she seem frightened? Maybe she said something out of the ordinary?"**

**Ms. Case seemed to have a revelation. "Wait a minute. You're working with Alex, aren't you?"**

**We had no idea who Alex was, of course, but if it would make the lady open up more…**

"**Yep," Dean said, not missing a beat. "Absolutely. That's…Alex and us, we're like this." He held up his hand and crossed his fingers. Hm, for someone we didn't know, we had a tight bond.**

"**Why didn't you say so? Alex has been such a comfort." She sat down, but continued looking at Sam. "But I'm sorry; I thought the case was solved."**

"**Uh, well, no. No, not yet."**

"**I see."**

"**So, anyways, we were talking about your niece," Sam said, trying to get us back on track.**

"**Well, yes. Sheila mentioned something quite strange before she died. She said she saw a boat."**

"**A boat?" Dean asked.**

**A boat? What was so strange about a boat. We were on the eastern seaboard. I was sure we were in Massachusetts or near there anyway.**

"**Yes, one minute it was there, then it was gone. It just disappeared right before her eyes."**

**Oh, a _vanishing_ boat. That _was_ strange.**

"**You think it could be a…ghost ship?"**

**Were we actually supposed to answer that?**

"**Alex thinks it could be a ghost ship."**

"**Well, um…" Sam huffed. "Could be."**

**Sam glanced at Dean apologetically. We usually didn't tell people things like that, but, hey, the lady had said it.**

"**Well…" Ms. Case smiled at Sam and looked like she was undressing him with her eyes again. Little old pervert. "You let me know if there's anything else I can do for you." She leaned forward to stroke Sam's fingers and took his hand in hers. "Anything at all."**

**Oh, God. This seventy-year-old lady was totally putting the moves on Sam. I had to bite my tongue hard enough to draw blood just so I wouldn't laugh.**

**Sam found a way to excuse himself so we left. Dean had parked the car at the marina, which was about a mile away, so we started walking.**

**It was bright and sunny out, but it was still chilly and I didn't have a jacket so I improvised. I walked between my guys because they were huge and warm and could shelter me from the cold.**

"**What a crazy old broad, huh?" Dean teased.**

"**Why? Because she believes in ghosts?"**

**Dean laughed a genuine laugh and just like any other time he laughed - _really_ laughed - I could feel it inside like it was coming from me instead of him. His laughter made _me_ happy. Even if we weren't together-together.**

"**Look at you stickin' up for your girlfriend, you cougar hound."**

"**Bite me," Sam deadpanned.**

"**Hey, not if she bites you first."**

"**Hey, so…" I began because I wanted to be the first to say it. "Who the hell is Alex?"**

"**No clue. Maybe we got another player in town," Dean answered.**

"**Maybe. Maybe not. Doesn't change our job," Sam added.**

"**So, we're thinking ghost ship, right?"**

"**Ooh, maybe we'll find Johnny Depp," I joked. "Captain Jack Sparrow."**

"**Mm. Or Keira Knightly," Dean said, with a wistful expression. Then he snapped out of it and grimaced. "Actually, with our luck, we'll probably run into tentacle face."**

"**Ew," I said. **

"**Anyway, what's the lore?" Dean asked Sam, since Sam was the serious brain of our triangle.**

"**Behind tentacle face?" Sam asked, grinning.**

"**No, smartass. Behind ghost ships."**

"**Well, there are apparitions of old wrecks sighted all over the world. The _S.S. Violet_, the _Griffon_, the _Flying Dutchman_. Almost all of them are death omens."**

"**So, what happens? You see the ship, then a few hours later you pucker up and kiss your ass good-bye?" Dean asked.**

"**Very subtly put, Dean," I said sarcastically, but not without fondness.**

"**But you're basically right," Sam said.**

"**So, we should hit the library, yeah?" I asked. "I mean, it's on the way."**

"**Yeah, we need to ID this boat," Sam said. "It's probably been seen before now."**

**We reached the library within five minutes and we immediately sought out the computers and the archives. Sam and Dean were checking out ships and ship wrecks, which were in the archives in the back of the building; I was checking out weirdo drownings - the kind that would not happen normally - on the computers, which were in the front of the building. So, communication was hard to accomplish at this point.**

**It would've been easier if I'd known where to start. I tried cross-referencing shipwrecks with drowning…but…there were way too many to even try to narrow it down. Then I cross-referenced vanishing ships with land drownings and, much to my surprise…there were actually a bunch of links. I narrowed it down by adding in the town we were in.**

**There were a bunch of land drownings in this town alone, going back every 37 years. Huh. Pattern there.**

**I didn't know how long I'd been researching, but the guys were back now with a folder of stuff.**

**Once Sam was situated at another computer and Dean had pulled up another chair just to be close to us, I started talking.**

"**So…what is a ghost ship, anyway? Is it, like, an empty ship just floating around?" I asked.**

"**Not always empty. Supposedly, the captain of the _Flying Dutchman_ is still on board."**

"**Really?" That wasn't just for the movie?**

**Sam and I were having one of those moments where Dean thought we were mind melding just because we weren't only interested in killing bad things; we didn't mind learning about them in the process. Hey, knowledge is power in this line of work, so… And I was happy we could still discuss things even if he was mad at me.**

"**Yeah. Story goes there was a storm and he refused to back down from rounding the Cape of Good Hope. Now people still see the ship sometimes."**

"**Hm. And those other ships you said?"**

"**The _S.S. Violet_ disappeared in the 1800's. And going even further back, the _Griffon_ disappeared in 1679. Um, from Lake Michigan. Throughout history there's been mentions of these ships that, when you see them, they vanish on the horizon, and they're death omens. Portents of your impending doom. If you see the ship, then the ghost comes after you and you die."**

"**Any particular reason why?" I asked. "Because a reason would help the research process."**

"**Not so far as we can tell, but…there's always a pattern," Dean answered. "We'll find it."**

"**Ooh, speaking of patterns…every 37 years…there's a rash of unexplained drownings here. Then it just stops and 37 years later…it happens again," I said. "It doesn't mention a ship, but the drownings are still weird."**

"**Well, like I said, we'll find it," Dean said, sighing. "It shouldn't be too hard. I mean, how many three-mast clipper ships are wrecked off the coast?"**

"**I checked that too, actually," Sam said. "Over one-hundred-and-fifty."**

"**Wow!" Dean said, dismayed. "Crap!"**

"**Mm-hm."**

"**Um…what're you talking about?" I asked. "A three-mast clipper ship?"**

"**Oh, um, we found a description," Sam said sheepishly. "This isn't the first time it's been seen, like I said, and there are stories all over the archives about people seeing disappearing ships."**

"**People saw disappearing ships and they actually _told_ other people? Bet that went over well."**

"**Yup. Every 37 years, like clockwork, reports of a vanishing three-mast clipper ship out in the bay…probably connected to your drownings."**

"**And you're just telling me this now?"**

"**We were getting there," Sam said, and I could hear his tone change to slight anger. "Don't have a hissy fit."**

"**A hissy fit?" I asked, only a little defensive. "When you find something out I need to know. It's called communication. Helps move the research along quicker, Sam."**

**Sam made one of his bitch faces that Dean knew like the back of his hand, but that I hardly ever paid any attention to.**

"**Dean, tell her we were gonna tell her."**

**What was he, twelve? Did we need a messenger now?**

"**We were gonna tell you," Dean said quickly. "But we should've told you faster," he added with even more speed. It was his way of agreeing with us both, keeping us both happy.**

"**Yes, you should've," I said, but then I added, "but I was mostly teasing. I didn't like the hissy fit bit…but I wasn't really mad at you." Sam should've known that already. He'd done nothing for me to be mad at him for. Until just then, anyway.**

**I couldn't joke around with Sam the way I could with Dean because most of the time he wouldn't get it; it would be completely lost on him. Then _he_ would have a hissy fit.**

**Dean was looking between me and Sam like he was trying to figure out what was going on with us. Then he shook his head and said, "Anyway, since we know the basics, we can figure out the rest back at the motel. All we need is to print out some pictures of the ships that wrecked. If we can find them, anyway."**

"**After that, can we get food?" I asked. I hadn't eaten since the night before and I was over the forgetting to eat stage of my grieving process and I was friggin' hungry. Not to mention we'd been at the research gig for about three hours now and my head was beginning to ache. The little tiff with Sam wasn't helping any.**

"**Sure," Dean said. "I could use some food myself."**

"**Oh, you guys go ahead," Sam said. "I'll stay here, get the pictures. I'll meet you back at the car."**

"**You sure?" Dean asked.**

"**Yeah, you go ahead."**

"**Okay."**

**So Dean and I took off on our own and left Sam to whatever he was planning on doing.**

* * *

"**So…what's goin' on with you and Sam?" Dean asked quickly, like he'd been dying to know since the semi-argument. "There seemed to be a little tension for some reason. Did you two have a fight?"**

"**Sam's pissed at me, I guess. Has been since I told him I wouldn't help him."**

"**Help him?"**

"**Save you," I specified. "I told him I wouldn't help him help you unless we could find a way to save him too." I looked down, ashamed. "I know that sounds bad and…coming from me, anyway, but I can't risk both of you. I love you both and I can't choose."**

**We weren't that far from the library or the restaurant - everything was close together here - and Dean just stopped walking and so I turned to look at him.**

"**What?"**

"**You don't have to explain that to me, Aly. You don't have to make that decision, and you shouldn't have to. Don't torture yourself over it." He touched my arm soothingly and I didn't move away even though I probably should have. But he didn't mean anything by it, so it was okay, I guessed. "I mean, you're caught in the middle here and I get it. I know how hard this is for you."**

**I really, really doubted that, but I didn't say anything about it. It would only lead to tears and I didn't feel like crying right now. As it was, I already felt the tell-tale sign of my eyes stinging like crazy, so…I changed the subject.**

"**So, uh…did Bobby call you? Like, yesterday?"**

"**No. Why?" Dean asked, and we resumed walking.**

**I shrugged. "He called me. And oddly enough, I think he was checking up on me. Or us. You and me. Then he mentioned a job he was working for a friend. Um, William Connors, maybe? Said he -"**

"**Connors? Never heard of him." He realized he'd interrupted when I glared. "Sorry. Go ahead."**

"**Okay. Said he was looking for some kind of artifact. Doesn't know what it is, exactly, but demons want it too. Bobby was in a shipping yard when he called. He said William, whoever that is, had been tracking it for a while. Demons really want it; they killed for it."**

"**Yeah, well, they would kill for a Klondike Bar," Dean quipped, which drew a grin from my lips, which had probably been what he'd been going for anyway because he grinned too. "Sounds serious, though, if they want it that bad."**

"**Yeah, that's what I thought. He called _me,_ though, and for what? He's never called just to let us know what he was doing before. Not unless he needed help."**

"**Did he ask for help?"**

**I scoffed. "No. He didn't even say where he was, just that he was looking for something."**

"**Well, I wouldn't worry about it. He'll call back if he needs us."**

**We didn't stay at the diner we chose; we just got something for us and Sam and then we began walking back toward where we'd parked the car. We met Sam about halfway and then began our trek again.**

"**So, I was thinking I should check that Sheila chick out," I said. "See if there's any tell-tale signs of why a ghost might want her dead."**

"**Yeah, look for other victims while you're at it," Dean said. Then he stopped walking and looked…disturbed? "This is where we parked the car, right?"**

"**I thought so," Sam said.**

**_I_ didn't know; the whole street along the marina looked the same to me. Big ass yachts all along the waterline.**

"**Where's my car?" Dean asked, freaked. "Sam, where's my car?" Then he literally shouted, "_Somebody stole my car_!"**

"**Hey, hey, calm down, Dean," Sam tried to soothe him.**

"**I _am_ calmed down. Somebody stole my c-"**

**He literally began hyperventilating. He looked like I probably had when I'd first begun sensing demons. Shaking, having trouble breathing, the whole nine yards. Over a car.**

**If it had been anyone _but_ Dean, I probably would have had a smartass comment at hand, but…it was the Impala, which was Dean's baby.**

**Sam and I had to grab one arm each and we tried reassuring Dean that we would find the car.**

"**The '67 Impala? Was that yours?"**

**I knew automatically who it was without even looking. Bela, thief extraordinaire. I would know her voice anywhere even though I'd only heard her a few times before. Kind of hard to forget someone who cause so many problems.**

"**Bela," Sam exclaimed. Yeah, we hadn't really expected to find her here.**

"**I'm sorry, I had that car towed."**

"**You what?" Dean asked hysterically, glaring at her.**

"**Well, it was in a tow away zone," she replied as if it were the most obvious thing ever.**

"**No, it wasn't!"**

**She smiled mischievously. "It was when I was through with it."**

"**What are you even doing here?" I asked, glaring myself.**

**She shrugged indifferently. "A little yachting."**

**Well, she did have enough money to own one, but…this was _Bela_ we were talking about so there was no way her reason for being here was as innocent as that.**

"**You're Alex," Sam accused. "You're working with that old lady."**

"**Gert's a dear old friend," Bela claimed.**

"**Yeah right. What's your angle?" Dean asked, because apparently we were on the same page with the whole innocence thing.**

"**There's no angle. There's a lot of lovely old women like Gert up and down the eastern seaboard. I sell them charms, perform séances so they can commune with their dead cats."**

"**And let me guess, it's all a con. None of it is real," Dean said.**

"**The comfort I provide them is very real," Bela said with her snooty voice.**

**Yes, there was resentment there; last time we were together she'd shot Sam, and because of that, I'd nearly broken my back.**

**Bela turned and began to walk away, but Sam stopped her by saying, "How do you _sleep_ at night?"**

**She smiled mischievously again. "On silk sheets, rolling naked in money."**

**Dean's eyes went kind of vacant like he was picturing what she'd just said. Then he shrugged his approval. I couldn't even slap him because we weren't together anymore. I knew he didn't mean anything by it, but still…it was the principle of the thing.**

"**Really, Sam. I'd expect the attitude from him. But you?"**

"**You _shot _me!"**

"**I barely grazed you."**

**Sam scoffed, but Dean seemed to see the logic behind her words because he did that nod-and-lift-your-eyebrow thing he did when he agreed with something.**

"**Cute," Bela directed at Sam, and then to Dean, "but a bit of a drama queen, yeah?"**

"**You do know what's going on around here? This ghost ship thing, it is real," Dean said.**

"**I'm aware. Thanks for telling Gert the case isn't solved, by the way."**

"**It isn't," I said.**

"**_She_ didn't know that. Now the old bag's stopped payment and she's demanding some real answers." She sounded annoyed by that, but…she shouldn't have been. It wasn't like she needed anymore money than she already had. "Look, just stay out of my way before you cause any more trouble."**

"**You do realize more people are going to die if we don't stop this thing, right?" I asked.**

"**So?"**

"**So…why don't you try and help them? Act human for once."**

**Bela didn't say anything to that. She deflected. "I'd get to that car if I were you…before they find the arsenal in the trunk." Then she turned and walked away.**

"**Can I shoot her?" Dean asked. I was sure he was at least halfway serious.**

"**Not in public…" Sam replied regretfully.**

"**But if, ya know, we meet her in a dark alley…I'm all for it," I said.**

**Though I had been joking, I realized that if Bela actually became that much of a nuisance, one day we might actually have to…end her miserable life.**

**Hopefully that day didn't come any time soon.**

* * *

Alright, so...what do you think? As always, I'd love to know. :) Anyway, this chapter feels a little sad to me what with her having to worry about Dean dying AND Sam not getting along with her. Anyway...yeah...review please. :) And thank you. (those are the magic words, right?)


	18. Red Sky at Morning Pt Two

**Okay, so, as you can see...part of this chapter is in Dean's POV. I don't know, for some reason I keep getting his voice in my head. LOL**

**Anyway, I don't own any of the actual characters from the show. It's Eric's world, I'm just playing with it.**

**Oh, and the lyrics in this chapter aren't mine. They're from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.**

**Red Sky at Morning  
Part Two**

**(Dean's POV)**

**God, Bela was such a bitch. Screwing people over, getting my car towed, me having to pay to get it out of a lot. It cost almost a hundred-and-twenty dollars.**

**The walk to the lot had been silent. Not one of those comfortable silences that Aly and I were known for, either. It was one of those tense, angry silences that Sam was good at lately. Ever since Aly had taken to sleeping in her own room Sam had pretty much withdrawn and, hell, I got it, but…it was beginning to bug me.**

**Also, I didn't appreciate him treating Aly the way he was. If they'd just been messing around, it would've been different, but he was actually angry with her. I got that he was pissed that I was dying, and that I was doing it for him made it even worse for him, but he needed to put himself in her place. Which was really awkward, I had to admit, because he was my brother, but the point was…he wasn't the only one suffering from this. He wasn't the only one I'd have to leave behind when I died. I'd be leaving _her_ behind, too. Aly, who was the best thing that had ever been mine.**

**I almost had to do a double-take in my head when I thought that because _wow_: big revelation there. The best thing that had ever been mine. Wow. I'd never realized I'd felt that way before now. I was slow when it came to things like that, so sue me! But it was true. She was…had chosen to be mine.**

**_Chosen_. It wasn't like with Sam; he was family, so he was mine by default. But Aly…she was a little jaded now, but she was still Aly. Sweet and compassionate Aly. And she had treated me like…well, like I was everything. She'd done for me what I'd done for Sam his whole life. She'd been through a lot and she'd stayed herself for me; she did specific things to keep me happy and now I was just totally abandoning her.**

**I was a moron. But…I knew that for Sammy…if I could go back to that day…I'd still do the same thing. Like I said, I was a moron.**

* * *

**Back at the motel I made sure Aly got in her room okay and then went to mine and Sam's. Sam was, of course, researching that ship thing. He was going through the pictures from the library and trying to ID them on the laptop as he went. I sat across from him. He was on one bed, I was on the other.**

"**Hey, uh, can I talk to you?" I asked and he looked up expectantly.**

"**Sure." He shrugged. "About what?"**

"**Aly. Lay off her, Sam. Stop giving her a hard time."**

**His eyes hardened and I could begin to feel the threads of an argument coming on.**

"**I'm trying to get her to help me."**

"**Help you help me," I said. "I know. She said no and now you're mad. I don't care about that. What I care about is that she's hurting, and you treating her that way isn't helping."**

"**But she's…she could save you."**

**And that was it _right_ _there_. If there was any way of saving my ass, Aly was probably the one who could end up doing it.**

"**Yeah, but she'd end up killing _you_. Don't put her in that position, Sam. It's not fair, and I don't want her doing anything, anyway."**

"**Why not?" Sam stood up, frustrated. "You're gonna die, Dean! You're gonna die, so I'm _sorry_ if I can't take care of her right now."**

"**I didn't say you had to take care of her. I said you needed to treat her better." Sam clenched his jaw and turned away. "You can pout and whine all you want, just don't fuss at her because _you're_ feeling bad. If you wanna be pissed at me, be pissed at _me_."**

**He turned back around and glared. "Yeah, you know what? I am pissed at you. I'm pissed that you would make a deal in the first place, and that you would then tell us to just let you go. And I'm pissed that she would listen like an obedient little puppy. I mean, what, she can't think for herself, you have to do it for her?"**

**Before I even knew what I was doing I had Sam shoved up against the wall. I was sure I'd never moved so fast in my life.**

"**Shut up, Sam."**

**I was deadly calm and it seemed he was surprised that I'd done what I did. It just hadn't set well with me that he'd been talking about Aly that way.**

"**And don't talk about her like that. And _treat her better_."**

**He _had_ to. He had to treat her better because I wouldn't be here to do it. So I needed him to. I needed to know Sam would at least look out for her when - when I was gone.**

* * *

**Later that day, after Sam and I calmed down - though I hadn't really been mad - we settled down to watch the news just to see if anything was up, and of course with our life, something was up.**

**Some Mr. Warren had drowned the night before we'd gotten here. This time it was in a bathtub, which was more probable than a _shower_, but still… Besides, his brother, another Mr. Warren, said the dead one saw a ship.**

"**A'right, I'm gonna go get Aly. You go ahead and go to the car."**

"'**Kay."**

**I did what I said I was going to and went to Aly's room. The front desk had given her a spare room key and she in turn had given it to me. I'd done the same with our spare. It reinforced the whole we-didn't-have-to-knock thing.**

**When I opened the door and stepped inside I saw that Aly was asleep. She was on her side and her laptop was there on the bed beside her. She'd been up all of yesterday, all night and then half of today. I was feeling generous, so I decided not to disturb her, not now. I wrote her a note on the motel stationery and explained what had happened and where we were going.**

**I glanced at her again and I noticed she didn't look peaceful at all. It was like she was sleeping, but not really resting. That must've been a new thing because she'd always slept well before - aside from a nightmare every now and then. She'd always said she slept better when I was there with her, and now I wasn't, so…I guessed it really did affect her sleep.**

**Before I consciously made the decision to I was sitting beside her and smoothing the hair back from her face. She had a frown line between her eyebrows and I used my thumb to soothe it away. It was kind of amazing because her face instantly relaxed and she let out a soft sigh.**

"**Dean."**

**It was spoken softly and at first I thought I'd been caught, but then her eyes stayed closed and I let out a sort of frustrated groan. Not too loud because I didn't want to wake her, but a groan nonetheless.**

**What was I doing here? This was just making everything so much harder. For both of us.**

**After stroking her cheek one last time I stood up and went out the way I'd come in.**

* * *

**(Aly's POV)**

**As I drifted up into wakefulness I realized two things. One, I was freezing, and two my side was hurting - probably from the weird-ass position I was in.**

**My laptop was still beside me and still on the page I'd been looking at before falling asleep. I'd been doing a background check on Sheila Case, the first victim.**

**I stretched lazily and groaned as every bone in my back popped - or that's what it felt like, anyway. I turned around and my hand fell on a piece of paper. I grabbed it and saw it was a note.**

**_Aly,_**

_**Hey, came to get you but you were sleeping. Someone else drowned and Sam and I went to check it out. Call me when you wake up.**_

**_Dean_**

**_Dean_ could wait. I had another pressing matter to take care of first. My bladder seemed to be full. After taking care of that, I did as the note asked and called Dean.**

"**Yeah?" His perpetual answer.**

"**Hey, got your note."**

"'**Bout time. I left it, like, five hours ago." I could tell he wasn't really mad, he was just teasing.**

"**Yeah, well, gotta sleep."**

"**Yeah. Anyway, we're back now, so, you can come on over if you want."**

"**Sure. Give me a minute."**

**Then we hung up. As I'd said, it took me about a minute to get to the door. When I went in I stopped almost immediately because, _God_, something stunk.**

"**What the hell died in here?" I asked, looking at Dean, who had his shirt over his nose.**

"**That would be Sam's ass," Dean answered. "We had Mexican."**

"**Hm. I'm gonna leave the door open." Let it air out, jeeze.**

"**I told you it was like a toxic waste dump," Dean said to Sam. "God, you're never eating burritos again."**

"**We should actually make that a law," I teased. "Write it down somewhere."**

**The smell was even getting to Sam, if his scrunched up face was anything to go by.**

**After about thirty seconds I was able to shut the door and Dean pointed to the table. "Your food's there."**

**I wasn't too crazy about Mexican food - it made my stomach hurt - but of course Dean knew that so instead I had a sub.**

"**Thank you."**

"**Uh-huh. I didn't know when you'd wake up so I got the only thing I knew wouldn't spoil."**

**Now that the room was clear I sat at the table and started eating.**

"**So…when I was looking earlier I found out that a couple years ago Sheila had a car accident and she killed her cousin. It wasn't drunk driving or anything, car was clean…guess she just lost control." I shrugged. "That's the only thing I could find. She doesn't have a criminal record or anything."**

**I took a bite and savored the taste of turkey, lettuce, tomato, and cheese. Mm. Then, with my mouth semi-full, I said, "What about your guy?"**

"**Not much. There're two brothers. They both saw the ship, only one is dead right now, but we're going back tonight to make sure the other one stays alive. Both brothers are Duke University grads. No criminal record, like Sheila. I mean, a few speeding ticket." Sam was the one explaining and he seemed to be in a better mood. "They inherited their father's real-estate fortune six years ago."**

"**How much?"**

"**Hundred and twelve million.**

**Dean whistled appreciatively. "Nice life."**

"**Yeah. I mean, nice, clean, aboveboard. So why'd they see the ship? Why Sheila too? What do they all have in common?" Sam sighed. "There's always something."**

"**Dead relatives," I said. "Sheila's cousin and the guys dad. Were they with the dad when he died?"**

"**No. Not that I can tell from any of the articles I read."**

"**Hm."**

**The guys waited until after I finished eating and then we got ready to go. The guys had readied the weapons already so the shotguns were already filled with salt rounds.**

**After reaching the Warren _mansion_ we sat and sat and then we sat some more, waiting for something to happen. I'd been hoping nothing would, but…our luck sucked. And we didn't get to save the guy.**

**Mr. Warren had realized we were outside and he'd confronted us. Then he'd gotten in his car and began to drive away, but his car had stalled. The guys had _drowned_ in his car. Didn't know how the cops and coroner were going to explain that one.**

**Point was we had failed and the man was dead now. We had seen what - or who - had done it. A man - black hair, _scraggly_ hair, soaking wet and very pale, and he was missing a hand - had been in the passenger seat. It had been a ghost, which we'd already known, and when Dean had used a salt gun it had disappeared. And we'd been too late.**

**So now we were driving back to the motel, mostly just to get out stuff because we were going somewhere else. Somewhere closer to where the victims had lived. Just in case.**

**The car ride had been silent and tense until Dean spoke. That only took care of the silence part, though.**

"**You wanna say it or should I?"**

"**What?"**

"**You can't save everybody, Sam."**

"**Yeah, right, so what, you feel better now or what?"**

"**No, not really."**

"**Me neither. It's just lately I feel like I can't save _anybody_."**

**I knew who he was talking about, of course, and I felt a rush of sympathy run through me and I brought my hand up and touched the back of his neck soothingly. To my surprise, he didn't flinch away.**

* * *

**We ended up at this old two story house - abandoned, of course - that looked a little haunted. Good thing we were us. Once we settled in for the night Sam began trying to ID the man we'd seen and the ship, and Dean began doing something on his phone. Downloading music or something.**

"**Um…I'm gonna call Bobby," I said, heading for another room. "Make sure he's okay."**

"**Why wouldn't he be okay?" Sam asked, looking up from his research.**

"**He called, was acting weird, hung up fast," I explained quickly. "Dean can fill ya in."**

**Before I could even move any further my phone vibrated in my pocket. When I pulled it out and looked at the screen I…didn't know the number.**

"**Hm. Hello?" Obviously, I answered anyway.**

"**Child, you are harder to reach than the sky," a sweet, rich, familiar voice said, but I couldn't place it for the life of me.**

"**Um…you sound really familiar, but…"**

"**Missouri."**

**Ah-ha! As soon as she'd said the name I knew who she was. Missouri Mosely. Why was she calling me?**

"**Oh! Hi! What's wrong?" Funny how I automatically assumed the worst.**

"**Nothing. Yet. But Bobby's in way over his head, I can tell you that."**

"**Do you know where he is?"**

"**Why, he's been here with me, searchin' for one object or another."**

"**Yeah, he told me he was looking for something."**

"**Somethin' to save your boyfriend. He's not havin' much luck. He could use your help to tell you the truth." I could almost _see_ the sympathy in her voice. "Somethin' tells me you could use this, too. You've maybe been running on empty lately."**

"**Running on fumes, actually." I ignored the two guys for now, even though they were giving me confused looks. Then thinking about what she'd said… "Why me?" Why had she called _me_?**

"**Because between you and Sam, you're the one who'll think with a clear head. Especially on this."**

"**And what exactly is _this_?"**

"**You'll find out when you get here," she said and I could hear her smile. "See you then, child."**

"**Hm."**

**I hung up and saw that both Sam and Dean were looking at me expectantly.**

"**So…who was that?"**

"**Um…Missouri."**

"**Mosely?" Sam asked. "What'd she want?"**

"**To let me know what Bobby was doing, actually." I scoffed. "Somehow she knew I was gonna call, I guess."**

"**How'd she know your number?" Dean asked.**

"**I don't know. Maybe she got it off Bobby's phone. He's been with her, he's in Lawrence. He's looking for something. Not sure what." Technically, I wasn't lying, because I _wasn't_ sure what he was looking for, not specifically. I shook my head. "She thinks he might need my help. I've gotta go to him after this case. I have to-"**

"**_We_ have to," Dean corrected. "You're not goin' by yourself."**

"**Well, good. I don't wanna. I just…it's Lawrence, ya know? I know how you feel about that place."**

"**It's not enough to make me let you go alone."**

**I smiled softly. "Good. Now, let's ID this boat. What do we know about it?"**

"**Peter Warren said it was a smuggling vessel. There was an angel figurehead on the bow."**

"**Well, that's gotta narrow things down a little. Right?"**

"**Hm. You would think."**

* * *

**About an hour later I was researching along with Sam and listening to music at the same time. I'd downloaded more music onto my Ipod when I'd first gotten the new laptop.**

_**Every single night, the same arrangement  
I go out and fight the fight  
Still I always feel the strange estrangement  
Nothing here is real, nothing here is right  
I've been making shows of trading blows  
Just hoping no one knows  
That I've been going through the motions  
Walking through the part  
Nothing seems to penetrate my heart  
I was always brave and kind of righteous  
Now I find I'm wavering…**_

**I jumped slightly when Dean touched my shoulder. I'd had my ear phones in and I hadn't heard him approach.**

"**Huh?"**

"**I'm gonna go get coffee. Want some?"**

"**Cappuccino, please."**

**He grimaced. "Your French vanilla stuff?"**

"**Uh-huh."**

"'**Kay, be back in a few."**

**For a brief second in time I thought he was going to kiss my head like he used to do, but he caught himself in time.**

**After Dean left Sam started talking. "Look, um…he won't say it, so I'm going to. He misses you. He's never said anything, but I know he does."**

"**Yeah, I know."**

"**And, uh…I'm sorry…for how I've been acting. I didn't…wouldn't let myself understand why the choice was hard for you. But…I do get it now, so I'm sorry."**

**I shook my head. "It's okay. I'm kinda mad at me too."**

"**For what?"**

"**Not doing anything to help Dean, when I know that I probably could if I wasn't worried about losing you, too."**

"**So don't worry about me," Sam said softly. "Do it for him. I give you permission not to worry."**

**I smiled weakly. "Easier said than done, Sam."**

**He sighed. "Yeah, I know. Just letting you know that if you find a way…go for it. Don't hold back 'cause of me."**

**I nodded even as I was rejecting that thought in my head. I couldn't risk someone else's life to save Dean's. One: Dean would never go for it no matter who it was, but especially if it was Sam. And two: I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I sacrificed someone just to get Dean out of the genius deal he'd made. So really, I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.**

* * *

**The next morning, while Sam and I were still researching, Bela showed up. Oh, joy.**

"**Dear God. Are you actually squatting? Charming." She moved further into the room and stopped when she reached the table Sam and I were at. "So…how'd things go last night with Peter?"**

**None of us said anything, which pretty much said _everything_.**

"**That well, huh?"**

"**If you say 'I told you so' I swear to God I'll start swingin'," Dean threatened.**

**Bela ignored it for the most part. "Look, I think the four of us should have a heart-to-heart."**

"**That's assuming you have a heart."**

"**Dean, please." She looked at him as he passed by her. "I'm sorry about what I said before, okay? I come bearing gifts." If the gift was whatever she was holding, it didn't look like much. It was a black zippered notebook.**

"**Such as," Sam asked.**

"**I've ID'd the ship." She took some pictures out of the notebook and placed them in front of us. "It's the _Espirito Santo_. A merchant sailing vessel. Quite a colorful history. In 1859 a sailor was accused of treason. He was tried aboard ship in a kangaroo court and hanged. He was 37."**

"**Which would explain the 37 year cycle," Sam said.**

"**Aren't you a sharp tack?"**

**She handed Sam another picture; it was of the guy we'd seen the night before.**

"**Isn't that the customer we saw last night?"**

"**You saw him?"**

"**Yeah, that's him, except he was missing a hand."**

"**His right hand," Bela said, nodding.**

"**How'd you know?"**

"**The sailor's body was cremated, but not before they cut off his hand to make a Hand of Glory."**

"**A Hand of Glory?" Dean grinned and I knew he was thinking something nasty. "I think I had one of those at the end of my Thai massage last week."**

**I rolled my eyes and grinned myself. "You don't even know what a Thai massage is."**

"**The right hand of a hanged man is a serious occult object. It's very powerful."**

"**So they say," Bela said.**

"**And officially counts as remains."**

"**But still, none of this explains why the ghost is choosing these victims."**

"**I'll tell you why," Bela said. "Who cares? Find the hand, burn it, and stop the bloody thing."**

"**I don't get it, why are you telling us all this?"**

**Bela smiled. "Because I know exactly where the hand is."**

"**Yeah, so?" I asked. "Why the hell would you ever come to us?" And how did she know where to find us, anyway?**

"**Because I need help."**

"**No," I said before the guys could say anything. "You've gotta have another reason than that." Because she was Bela, and she didn't try to help people for nothing.**

"**You told me to try to help," Bela said. "Here I am. It's at the Sea Pines Museum…as a macabre bit of maritime history. I can get us in with Gert's invitation."**

"**Uh-huh…and what's there that you want?" I asked. "And how do we know you're not just playing us?"**

**All Bela did was blink so I rolled my eyes again.**

"**Whatever."**

"**Look, you three can help me or I can get it myself."**

"**Yeah, right. Like we're gonna trust you with something like this," Dean muttered. "We'll help."**

"**We will?" I asked.**

"**Yes. It'll help the future victims," Sam said. "So, yes, we'll help."**

"**Good," Bela said. "Now, you three need the proper clothing."**

**I groaned internally. "As in?"**

"**A dress for you. Tuxes for them." Bela smiled slightly. "It _is_ a party for the upper class. You three have less than five hours to get ready."**

* * *

**Thanks to Bela Sam, Dean, and I had to go shopping for something that passed for decent in high society. Their tuxes were easy to find, but my dress was harder. Actually, it was just because I was giving them a hard time because I didn't want to help Bela; she had to have a reason for being charitable all of a sudden.**

"**Come on, Aly. They all look good on you, okay, just pick one," Dean said. "We've been here for an hour-and-a-half."**

"**That's 'cause I'm not okay with this. She's gotta be playing us somehow," I said from the dressing room.**

**I was trying on what I hoped would be my last dress. It was silky blue and had shell-like sleeves. A silver belt clasped around the waist. The length of the dress flowed down to where my heels would begin. They were a light silver to match the belt. My feet were going to be killing me by the end of the night.**

"**I mean, you know that a Hand of Glory can supposedly open any locked door, right? And she's a thief, so, ya know, she could really use one of those."**

"**Is that just a theory or has it been field tested?" Dean asked.**

"**How the hell am I supposed to know? All I'm sayin' is Bela probably knows that and that's probably why she wants it."**

"**So then we won't let her have it," Dean promised. "We still need that hand so we can get rid of the thing. Now hurry up," he finished by stepping into the room with me. I could've sworn it had been locked.**

"**Dean! This is a naked place!"**

"**So? It isn't anything I haven't seen before," he teased. "Now come on!" His eyes softened as they roamed over me. "You look good."**

"**Uh-huh. You're just saying that so I'll hurry up."**

"**No, I mean it. But yes, I do wanna get out of here. _Please_."**

**I smiled softly. "Fine. We need to go back and actually get ready, anyway."**

"**Yeah, and you know you're gonna take forever," he said.**

"**Yeah, right," I said. "Because I do that." I rolled my eyes. "Anyway, go away. I had to change back now."**

"**Again, it's nothin' I haven't already" - he broke off when I glared - "And I'm going."**

* * *

**Later that evening it was _Dean_ who was taking forever. When asked what was taking so long he said it was because he was 'so not okay with this'. I kinda wanted to tell him that _I'd_ said that first.**

**Bela was here with Dean and me, and Sam had already left. He was with Gert, the perverted old lady. That was at least a week's worth of teasing alone, but it had to be done, so…**

**I was upstairs with Dean, watching him put the final touches on his outfit. Black tux with a black bow tie and even a white hankie in his pocket. He was freshly shaven and he smelled really nice. He looked…very handsome. Though that was nothing new to me.**

**By the time we got downstairs Dean was fretting about how the outfit made him look ridiculous.**

**Bela took the words right out of my mouth when she said, "Not exactly the word I'd use."**

"**What?"**

"**You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex," Bela offered him.**

"**Okay, eyes back in your head," I said, because _hello_, I was standing right here. Yes, Dean was handsome and sexy and blah, blah, blah, but I knew that already. And it wasn't like Bela hadn't seen him before, so she shouldn't have been shocked to see how nice-looking he was.**

* * *

**Dean, Bela, and I met with Sam and Gert at the door of the museum. Sam seemed very uncomfortable, and I couldn't say I blamed him.**

"**This will get their tongues wagging, eh, my Adonis?"**

**It was still funny, though.**

**I followed Dean and Bela to the bar where they both picked up a glass of champagne. Dean handed me his and I sipped it. I grimaced and handed the glass back to him.**

"**Have it," I said. "It's gross." Worse than beer, even.**

"**We're gonna have to buy you a girly drink one of these days," Dean said. "See if you like _that_."**

"**No, thank you," I said.**

**Suddenly Sam was beside us and he was looking very annoyed. Poor guy.**

"**Exactly how long do you expect me to entertain my _date_?"**

"**As long as it takes," Bela answered easily.**

"**Look, security's all over this place, a'right?" Dean said, and it was true. There was one cop - or whatever - at every door. "This is an uncrashable party without Gert's invitation so -"**

"**We can crash anything, Dean."**

"**Yeah, I know, but this is easier and it's a lot more entertaining." Dean was grinning, but Sam was livid.**

"**You know there are limits to what I'll do, right?" Sam said.**

"**Aw, he's playing hard to get. That's cute," Dean teased. "Come on." He grabbed Bela's glass and she stood up. He handed it back to her after she was situated.**

"**Where're you going?" I asked.**

"**To scope the place out."**

"**Oh, okay. Well, I'm gonna stay here and, uh, chaperone," I teased Sam, who frowned as Dean and Bela walked away. "Anyway, have fun."**

"**Bite me," he said, though it wasn't in a mean way.**

**I smiled softly and gestured at Gert, who was coming towards us. When she reached us, she grabbed Sam's arm and handed him a glass of champagne. He downed it in one go and Gert seemed really pleased with that. She was obviously trying to get him drunk.**

**Ballroom music began and Gert convinced Sam to dance with her. I stayed at the bar and watched, trying not to laugh when Gert became a little grabby. She seemed to like touching Sam's ass; he should consider pressing charges for sexual harassment. **

**I saw Sam cringe when Gert began whispering in his ear, then he just looked plain creeped out.**

**I placed my hand over my mouth to hide the biggest grin I'd had in a while. Making Sam uncomfortable was a little…fun…in a wicked-sister kind of way.**

**I suddenly wondered how Dean was faring with Bela's hindrance. I could just see her giving him a hard time and him trying to keep his patience.**

**I didn't have to wonder for long because both Dean and Bela came back into the room soon enough. It saved Sam from Gert, which was probably a good thing because she seemed a little tipsy, anyway.**

"**Well, having a nice time?" Bela asked Gert.**

"**He's delightful!" the old lady said.**

**We were all standing near the entrance and now Bela was beginning to lead Gert away.**

"**I'm going to get Gert into a cold shower!"**

"**Good idea," Sam agreed.**

"**See you at the cemetery."**

**I watched them leave and then turned to Dean. "We can go, too, right?"**

"**Yeah, let's go."**

* * *

"**You have it, right?" Sam asked as we made it to the car. "Tell me I didn't get groped all night by Mrs. Haversham for nothing."**

"**I got it. Mrs. Who?"**

"**_Great Expectations_," I said. "It's a book."**

"**Let me see it," Sam said, exasperated.**

**Dean reached into his pocket and took out his handkerchief, which was wrapped around what I assumed was the hand. As he began to unfold the cloth he began frowning.**

"**What?" I asked.**

"**I'm gonna kill her."**

**Instead of Dean holding a shriveled up hand, he had a bottled ship.**

**I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes. So much for not letting Bela get the friggin' thing. I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying _I told you so_. How had she gotten close enough to switch the hand with the ship thing, anyway? And how had Dean not felt it?**

**More importantly, what were we going to do now?**

* * *

So, I totally would've had this up sooner, but I had company all week last week and then Thanksgiving and all. But here it is now. LOL. As always, let me know what you think, and thank you. :)


	19. Red Sky at Morning Pt Three

**Okay, so I KNOW I haven't updated in a REALLY LONG TIME, but I've had a really stressful, bad couple of months - actually, make that more like a half a dozen months. Seriously, my aunt went into the hospital in August of last year and she was in there for a month and then when she got out she kept going back in because she was really weak - she had surgery, something dealing with her intestines - and then in December she had to go back into the hospital for 40 days. Holy crap, right? Yeah, and that's not it. Nope. Throughout those times that my aunt was in the hospital I had to babysit my little cousin even though said cousin has two sisters that are around my age who could've done it just as easily as I could have, but they wouldn't because they're kind of selfish - uh-huh, there may be a SMALL bitter streak there; I have a reason, they didn't even think they had to go and see their mom in the hospital, yet I was supposed to be watching the little one so they could spend time with their mom. Yup, and even though I knew that I'm nice and a pushover so...I had little time to write. Hence, the very long wait for the update.**

**Okay, rant over and I hope you enjoy, though this is more of a lead-in to the next couple of chapters and, if nothing goes wrong - I know I'm jinxing myself - hopefully they'll be up next week sometime. Or at least the first one.**

**Now finally, for those of you who have stuck with me through my unpredictable update schedule. THANK YOU!**

**Red Sky at Morning  
Part Three**

**After we got used to the fact that Bela had swapped the hand with a bottled ship we began to search for her. Fancy hotels, fancy restaurants, fancy everything. But we came up with nothing. Since we didn't know any of her aliases we were pretty much screwed.**

"**She's probably on her way back to New York by now," I said. "Or at the nearest airport."**

"**We've already wasted enough time looking for her, so like you said…she's probably on her way back to New York," Dean said. "We'll have to find some other way to stop this thing."**

"**_Is_ there another way to stop this thing?" I asked.**

"**We can always check," Sam said. "I mean, we have to try. Maybe a ritual or maybe the ghost has unfinished business."**

"**Like what?" Dean asked.**

"**I dunno. But while I was entertaining _my date_" - Sam grimaced - "I found out that the two Warren brothers may have killed their dad to get the inheritance money. That's what most of the town's people think." **

"**Well, if that's true then…Sheila, the first victim - " I began, but Dean interrupted.**

"**Accidentally killed her cousin. In both cases family members were killed by their own blood." Dean shook his head. "That's the connection."**

"**Yeah, dead relatives like I said earlier." I bit my lip, thinking it over. "So, what does that mean? That this ghost was killed by a family member?"**

"**Probably," Sam said. "We'll have to check."**

* * *

**We ended up back at the abandoned house that we were using as temporary headquarters. Sam and I immediately got to researching. I was using the folder of information that Bela - GRR! - had given us; Sam was using his laptop; Dean was pacing back and forth, still frustrated that Bela had tricked him. Sam had actually pointed out that she had got one over on Dean, not _us_. I didn't say it out loud, but I agreed. I had pointed out several reasons not to trust Bela earlier, but obviously Dean hadn't taken it as seriously as he should have.**

"**Are you having any luck?" Sam asked.**

"**Mm-mm. I'm thinking of getting my laptop, too. I can take over for you and you can start looking for alternate ways to stop this thing."**

**So we switched jobs. It was kind of hard finding information on a merchant sailing vessel. It sank near here, which fit seeing as to how _here_ was where it was haunting. The captain of the ship had accused our sailor ghost of treason and was hanged. Blah, blah, blah, stuff we already knew.**

**The sailor and the captain…I sighed.**

"**God, we need new eyes," I said. We'd been researching for almost four hours. "I can't believe we've been reading and it never clicked. The captain and the sailor. They have the same last name. They were family. Brothers probably. The one that is killing people…his brother made the decision to hang him."**

"**His own brother?" Sam asked, and I nodded.**

**Dean scoffed. "That's messed up."**

"**Yeah. But now we know why it's choosing its victims. Sibling rivalry caused one brother to kill another - think Cain and Able - and now the ghost goes after people who kill their own family, whether they do it on purpose or not."**

"**Well, how do we stop it?" Dean asked. "We don't have the hand and we don't have enough time to track Bela down and get it back."**

"**Assuming, of course, that she still has it," Sam said. "She might not have wanted it for herself. She may have sold it."**

"**Oh, yeah, well, that's just…awesome," Dean said, and then clenched his jaw. "God, she's a pain in the ass."**

"**So, _do_ we know what to do now?" I asked Sam, who may as well have been called Mr. Encyclopedia. Seriously, the things that guy could just randomly pull out of his head was awe-inspiring sometimes.**

"**I'm not sure," Sam said, grimacing. "I have a few ideas, but I don't wanna say anything 'til I know for sure."**

**That made sense. Meanwhile, I could worry about something else. Bobby. Lawrence. Missouri. I hadn't forgotten that we still needed to get there. Because the way Missouri had put it…either Bobby was going to be in trouble or he was going to unwittingly cause trouble.**

**Missouri had said I needed to be there because I could think with a clear head, but I wasn't sure if…that was true. Because up until a week ago…I hadn't been clearheaded at all. I wondered what kind of trouble Missouri was talking about. If it would save Dean…would it be worth it.**

**Okay, that was poorly phrased. Of course it would be worth it; but would I be able to live with myself after?**

* * *

**The next morning Bela showed up _again_. Kind of like a bad penny. She's come knocking on the door frantically about two hours after the sun had risen. She'd wanted to _explain_ and because we were such nice people…we let her in.**

**That's how we all ended up at the table. Sam, Bela, and I were seated; Dean was standing behind Bela, much like the bad cop would in an interrogation.**

"**So, where's the hand?" Dean asked.**

"**I sold it," Bela replied. There was something in her voice that caught me off guard. It wasn't apologetic - I was fairly certain she was physically incapable of being sincerely apologetic - but it was…regret? "I had a buyer lined up as soon as I knew it existed."**

"**So the reason for us going to the charity ball was…"**

"**I needed a cover. You were convenient."**

"**Look, you sold it to a buyer, just go buy it back," Sam said.**

"**It's halfway across the ocean. I can't get it back in time."**

"**In time for what?"**

**A wave of fear hit me and I realized it was coming from Bela. The hand that's she'd sold…what did that have to do with…and then I _knew_ why she was so afraid.**

"**You saw it, didn't you?" I asked. "You saw the ship and now you want us to bail you out."**

**Bela didn't say anything, she just glanced down and nodded.**

**I looked at Dean, who was shaking his head. He knew that if Bela had seen the ship then she'd murdered - because with her there was probably no _accidental_ death - one of her family members.**

"**Wow, ya know, I knew you were an immoral, thieving, con-artist bitch, but just when I thought my opinion of you couldn't get any lower…"**

"**What're you talking about?"**

"**We figured out the spirit's motive," Sam said, handing Bela two of the pictures she had brought to us the day before. "This is the captain of our ship, the one who hung our ghost boy. They were brothers. Very Cain and Able. So now our spirit, he's going after a very specific kind of target. People who've spilled their own family's blood. See, first there was Sheila who killed her cousin in a car accident. Then the Warren brothers, who murdered their father for the inheritance. And now you."**

"**Oh my God," Bela said, eyes widening. Well, whatever she'd done…it was definitely coming back to bite her in the ass now.**

"**So, who was it, Bela? Hm? Who'd you kill?" Dean asked harshly. "Was it Daddy? Your little sis, maybe?"**

"**It's none of your business," she said softly, not meeting our eyes.**

"**It is if you want us to help you," I said. "What'd you do?"**

"**You wouldn't understand. No one did." She shook her head. "And, frankly, I don't want to talk about it, so are you going to help me or not?"**

**None of us said anything; I assumed it was because Sam and Dean wanted to know about Bela's…_incident_. How had her whoever died? What had she done to them? When she realized we were going to answer she stood up and shook her head again.**

"**Never mind. I'll just do what I've always done and I'll deal with it myself."**

**She turned to go out the door like she'd expected nothing less from us.**

"**You do realize you just sold the only thing that could save your life?" Dean said matter-of-factly.**

**Bela turned back around, shoulders slumped, and for a minute I even felt sorry for her.**

"**I'm aware." She looked at us all beseechingly and Sam sighed heavily.**

"**Well…maybe not the only thing."**

**Both Dean and I looked at Sam questioningly. Had his research paid off?**

"**There's a ritual, kind of like the one we used on that preacher guy back in Rhode Island that one time. I can tweak it to make it where we can call this ghost's brother. Hopefully, that'll get it's attention off of you," Sam said, glancing at Bela for the last part. "It'll be focused on settling the score between him and his brother. Then _hopefully_, he'll be finished. His spirit will be laid to rest."**

"**Will that really work?" I asked.**

"**Almost definitely not," Dean replied. He turned to Sam anyway. "A'right. What do we need?"**

"**Blood, anybody's. White candles, and chalk to draw with. The rest we already have. I have to mix a few things together and then tonight we'll need to find a cemetery." He sighed and looked at Bela again. "You should be safe here with us. The others were attacked at night."**

"**So we're stuck here for the rest of the day?" I asked. "Right?"**

"**Yeah. Except for goin' and getting what we need."**

"**Okay, well, I'm gonna call Missouri and tell her we'll take longer than I thought. Hopefully, nothing happens until we get there."**

**Whatever was going to happen, anyway.**

* * *

**When I called Missouri's number she answered after the second ring and she knew it was me. Not by vibes or energies in the air, but by caller ID. I did have to tell her why we weren't going to be there for at least another day. Or two, depending on how this ritual went down.**

**Thankfully nothing had happened because Bobby being the thorough guy he was, was busy doing research. It was both Sam's and Dean's life he'd be messing with if something went wrong. So, needless to say, Bobby didn't want anything to go wrong.**

**Missouri didn't know everything; she only got vibes, energies in the air or something. She knew whatever Bobby was messing with was bad news, though, and _she_ wasn't a hunter. She would need us, as would Bobby.**

**I'd been in an upstairs bedroom because I didn't want Bela hearing anything; I didn't want her getting any ideas. I sensed Dean before he came into the room - he probably wanted to know what was going on. I was still on the phone, though, so he'd have to wait.**

**But Dean's presence was distracting. I was so attuned to him even now. There was goodness radiating from his soul and power flowing from his physique. I felt warm, just thinking about it.**

**_Stop it!_ I told myself. He didn't…belong to me anymore. I shouldn't be thinking about his physique, no matter how perfect he was.**

**Missouri tried explaining the creepy-crawly vibes she'd been getting lately. Creepy-crawly had been my word, not hers.**

"**It's not exactly like being buried in bugs or smothered in snakes. It's hard to put into words. It's just a feeling."**

"**Oh." I leaned against an old dresser, disappointed that Missouri didn't have any _solid_ information to report. "So, you don't know what's going on, just that something is. And you need our help."**

"**Yes, we will."**

"**Okay, well, we'll be there as soon as we can. I promise."**

**After that we hung up and I sat beside Dean on the bed in the room. I so wanted to lean on him, place my head on his shoulder. Just for…a moment. But I knew I couldn't. The lines were blurred between me and him enough as it was without me adding that to the mix.**

"**Somethin' up?"**

"**Not yet. She let Bobby know that he was messing with somethin' bad and so he's researching now before he acts."**

"**Smart," Dean said.**

"**It's Bobby," I answered. Bobby was usually smart, or at least he was usually thorough.**

* * *

**Two hours later Sam had been to the store and back and we had all the ingredients we needed for whatever we were planning on doing; now we just had to wait.**

**Bela was here but we weren't paying much attention to her except to make sure she wasn't up to anything. Surprisingly enough, she wasn't doing anything suspicious. That _could_ have had something to do with the fact that we were trying to save her life.**

**While Sam did his thing with the ingredients I used my laptop to look up William Connors, Bobby's supposed friend. I learned he was a professor as the local college in Lawrence. He held free lectures on parapsychology, but he taught Mysticism and the Occult for a living.**

**If Bobby _did_ know him then that would explain the whole getting-an-artifact-for-a-friend thing. Maybe it was a favor-for-a-favor thing. Bobby helped him, he helped Bobby. Whatever. Knowing who William Connors was didn't tell us what Bobby was up to. And Bobby _wouldn't_ tell us, so there was no use in asking. But if he'd been telling the truth…the artifact still couldn't be good if demons wanted it like Bobby had said. He hadn't said anything much about that so we'd get the full story once we reached Lawrence.**

**I just about fell asleep at my laptop because I'd been up for almost two days straight.**

"**Okay, Bela, I need a little of your blood and a few strands of hair. The ritual is to try and save you so…" She would be supplying the gross stuff.**

**Bela cut her hand and pulled out a few hairs without hesitation. She knew this ritual was the only chance of her surviving this.**

* * *

**That night we ended up in a cemetery. Sam made sure all the ingredients were in order while Dean drew a pentagram on the lid of a tomb and I lit five candles, which I placed inside the pentagram.**

**After the drawing was finished Sam got out a bowl - it looked like an old wooden scrying bowl that witches used - and began filling it with the blood Bela had given us earlier. Then he added the hair and the already mixed ingredients.**

**An hour had passed since we'd begun getting everything set up and Bela had just been standing there like a useless idiot. And I was becoming irritated. I was tired and cold and hungry. To top it all off…it began storming. Thunder, lightning, rain. The sky got even darker and the wind picked up. Water was just pouring down.**

"**Sammy! Better start readin'."**

**Sam opened what I was guessing was John's old journal and began reading in Latin. The chanting seemed to cause it to rain harder and the candles were snuffed out from the water.**

**I pulled my jacket closer around me to block out the cold, not that it did much good. It was frickin' freezing.**

**The clouds were rolling ominously in the sky, and Bela was inching further away from us.**

"**Stay close!" I said and then I looked at Sam, who I noticed was finding it hard to concentrate on the journal with all the rain going on.**

**The next few things happened fast, but I caught them just the same. The sailor showed up, Dean was thrown into a stone monument and then the ghost was touching Bela on the cheek. Bela started coughing up water; it was more like it was gushing out of her mouth. She fell to her knees and continued spluttering. The bad thing was we could only hope this ritual would work; we weren't sure. As of now…I could only pray Bela had enough oxygen and really powerful lungs.**

"**Sammy, read faster!" Dean yelled as he reached me and Bela. Dean placed his arms around Bela - comfort maybe? I realized that right at that moment Dean didn't see her as a heartless bitch; he saw her as a helpless victim. A victim who had brought this on _herself_, but still…she was a human who needed help.**

**I touched Dean's face and projected an image of me flowing life into Bela.**

**_Should I?_ I asked with my thoughts. I knew I'd have to be careful because Bela having any knowledge at _all_ about what I could do would be a disaster waiting to happen.**

**Dean nodded once and projected his own thought. _Be careful._**

**I gave him a soft smile and placed my hand over Bela's and was surprised when I got one of her thoughts as well.**

**_Oh, God, I'm gonna die tonight! I'm not supposed to die this way!_**

**After the little bit of telepathy I decided to focus on my job. Keeping her alive. I imagined life as little tendrils of light keeping people attached to their bodies, and then I imagined those tendrils flowing through me and into Bela.**

**I kept them subtle because I was hoping Bela would think it was her own will to survive that was keeping her alive. Suddenly the storm stopped and Sam's reading was silenced. I hoped he'd finished properly. I was sure I heard what sounded like planks creaking. I wasn't able to look around, though, because I had to focus on Bela.**

**That's when I noticed Bela was no longer heaving water; she was just breathing heavily. I stopped the flowing energy just to see if it was okay to do so. It _was_.**

**That was when I saw that the sailor wasn't alone. His brother was here. They exchanged a few words and then the sailor went _through_ his brother and they both exploded into a huge splash of water. It seemed it was over.**

"**Wow, I can't believe that actually worked," I said, stunned.**

"**Yeah, you and me both," Dean said. Then he looked at Bela. "Are you okay?"**

**She nodded and he let her go immediately. Oh, guess she was a heartless bitch again.**

* * *

**Bela left as soon as she realized she was no longer in danger and even though we - Sam, Dean, and myself - needed sleep, we left too. I curled up in the backseat with a blanket and a shirt I was using as a pillow. I didn't get to doze off, however, because Dean started talking.**

"**Hey, listen, I've been doing some thinking, um…I want you to know I understand why you did it. I understand why you went after the crossroads demon."**

**Sam sighed heavily and I could almost _hear_ the 'here we go' run through Sam's head. Then I realized I _had_ heard it. Loud and clear. How had I…I'd never been able to read someone's mind unless I'd been in physical contact with them at the moment. But I wasn't touching Sam now and I had heard his thought as clear as day.**

"**The situation was reversed, I guess I'd have done the same thing. I mean, I'm not blind. I see what you're going through with this whole deal. Me going away and all that. But you're gonna be okay."**

**Sam scoffed. "You think so?" _I'm not gonna be okay. I'll never be okay. He's gonna die because of me._**

"**Yeah, you'll keep huntin', ya know, you'll live your life. You're stronger than me. You are! You'll get over it. But I want you to know I'm sorry. I'm sorry for putting you through all this. I am."**

**_Does he not care about himself at all?_ Sam's voice reached my mind.**

"**You know what, Dean? Go screw yourself. I don't want an apology from you. And by the way, I'm a big boy now, I can take care of myself."**

"**Oh, well, _excuse_ me."**

"**So would you please quit worrying about me? I mean, that's the whole problem in the first place. I don't _want_ you to worry about _me_, Dean. I want you to worry about _you_. I want you to give a crap that you're dying!"**

**_I do give a crap, Sammy_. Now Dean's voice was in my head. _But it was you or me and I couldn't just let you stay dead._**

**Of course Dean didn't _say_ that because God forbid he actually ever let Sam know how he really felt.**

"**So that's it? Nothin' else to say from you?" _Why won't he let me in? If I were Aly he'd tell me exactly what he was thinking._ There was a hint of jealousy in his thoughts and then… _Oh, God, _Aly_! What's she's gonna do when…Dean's dying for me. Aly's gonna hate me forever._**

**I didn't hate Sam. None of this was his fault. He hadn't made Dean do anything. Dean had been his usual self-sacrificing self. He'd made the biggest sacrifice _ever_; he'd given up his life, his _soul_.**

* * *

**About two hours into the ride I asked if we could get a motel room - or two; it was always two now.**

"**Why? I thought you wanted to get to Kansas as soon as possible"**

"**I did. I do. I don't feel well. I wanna stop."**

"**Are you getting sick?"**

"**No," I said quickly. "No, I just feel off."**

**_Well, that's not good. Whenever she feels off something weird - and usually bad - happens,_ Dean's voice popped into my head.**

**I didn't think anything bad was going to happen - yet - though weird was the story of our life. I just felt strange because I'd had over people's voices in my head. And what I'd been hearing was enough to drive anyone crazy.**

**_She's getting sick a lot more than usual lately. I hope there nothing wrong. Maybe she should see a doctor._ Then a brief mental image of my pressed up against the wall with my legs wrapped around Dean went through his head directly into mine. _Oh, God. That wasn't that long ago. What if she's…_**

**Dean swerved slightly, but righted the car immediately.**

"**Dude, uh, maybe we _all_ need to stop. We need to sleep. You're becoming a danger behind the wheel," Sam said.**

**Dean wasn't paying attention to Sam. He had the word 'pregnant' in his head. And then _oh, God, no._**

**_God, if she…then it's my fault because I wasn't careful. I don't even know if she was still on the pill when…Damn it!_**

**Dean was worrying for nothing. I'd been on the pill when we'd last been together. I wasn't anymore because I knew we couldn't be together again and I wasn't planning on being with anyone else either, so I was safe. Abstinence _was_ the best form of birth control, after all.**

**Back to my original point: Dean was worrying for nothing. But I couldn't comfort him. I couldn't relieve his mind without letting him know I was _in_ it, which I couldn't do yet. It would freak him out.**

**Hell, it was freaking _me_ out and I was the one doing it. I hoped this was a temporary thing or that it was like my other abilities and I could learn to control it in time.**

**Actually, screw the in-time bit. I hoped I could control it fast, quick, and in a hurry. **

* * *

Okay, we've always known that Dean and Aly have a connection and when they touch stuff happens. :) But now, now, she's picking up thoughts from other people too. That's would give me a headache, I'm just saying. Obviously this is another ability...or actually it's an expansion of an ability she already has. She's getting stronger so...therefore her abilities become more powerful. Anyway, as always...leave me a review. Also I'm able to get PM's if you prefer that way? Whichever way works for you guys.


	20. Worth the Price

**Okay, I know I said I would have this up sooner, but it seems like the universe is against me at the moment. LOL. My computer is on the fritz, has been for a while. So instead of saying I'll update soon, I'll say I'll update when my computer is generous enough to let me. LOL**

**Worth the Price?**

**Learning to deal with hearing Sam's and Dean's thoughts was going to be tough. I could tell that already. Sam's thoughts seemed to go in circles. He'd think one thing and then another and so on and so forth and then he'd go right back to where he started. Like he couldn't get past it. His thoughts gave me a headache.**

**Then there was Dean. He didn't give me a headache; the ache he gave me hit much deeper. Every time he saw me there was a small _I never meant to hurt her_ that echoed from his brain to mine. Then there were other purely male thoughts. How he still wanted me. How, if we could just be together - in every way - that we'd both feel so much better. He even thought of positions - positions that I didn't even know existed. So of course when _those_ thoughts entered my mind because of him I'd blush and he'd notice and he'd wonder about _what_ was causing it.**

**I could pick up stray thoughts from other people, too, but they weren't as clear; probably because I didn't really know them. I wasn't connected to other people the way I was to Sam and especially Dean. But if I kept hearing their thoughts…it was going to drive me insane. It was going to send me moving in the opposite direction. All three of our minds went back to Dean and his inevitable demise. I could hardly handle my _own_ thoughts on that, let alone theirs.**

**In the car on the way to Kansas when the music was up - and when Dean was enjoying it for real, and not just pretending to enjoy it - it was easy because he was usually singing along with it in his head.**

**As we pulled up to Missouri's house I tried to hone in on whatever Missouri had been feeling. There wasn't any demonic threat, but something didn't feel right.**

"**Early warning system, guys," I said softly before getting out of the car. I was sure they'd probably already known I would feel _something_ because Missouri had felt something. And the fact that nothing had happened yet was a bit alarming to me; Missouri was good at what she did.**

**If demons wanted whatever this artifact thing was, then if they had it and nothing had happened it probably meant they were plotting something supremely evil. Evil things didn't take downtime unless they were preserving their strength for something huge. Not that I wanted anything to happen. I wouldn't mind having a break, being able to forget about killing or being killed for a while. Be normal and safe for a while.**

**Once inside I saw Bobby in the kitchen, books spread out on the table in front of him and a big black stone in the middle. It was extremely…black, so black I could almost get lost in it. So I tried not focusing on it.**

"**Uh, is this the thing?" I asked as the psychic came in. "Hello, Missouri."**

"**Hello, child." She sat at the table. "And no, this isn't the artifact, but he did get it from his professor friend."**

"**I finally found it. I've done a few more exorcisms since I talked to you last. I got the thing and I gave it to him in exchange for this." Bobby gestured to the black stone. "Missouri told me bad things will happen if…I'm trying to find out _what_ exactly will happen."**

"**Do the demons want this too?"**

"**No, this is somethin' else." _If I can just learn how to work it._**

"**What's it supposed to do," I asked. "Why'd you want it?"**

"**It could be useful." _It could save Dean if I can just find a loophole._**

**Man, this was frustrating. I wanted to ask him what loophole he was talking about, but I couldn't very well do that without letting everyone in on my secret. Which I so wasn't ready to do yet.**

* * *

**Sam and I helped Bobby research what we found out was called the _Black Stone_. Original considering the stone was black. The research turned up almost nothing except for the fact that the stone was so black if one looked at it for too long it seemed one could become hypnotized. Check. I remembered how it drew me in. Why it drew me in I had no idea.**

"**So, Bobby, what does this thing do?" Sam asked. "It might enlighten us if we knew what it was for."**

**Bobby looked at Sam and then at me. "I'd rather not say anything until I know for sure."**

"**Bobby, share!' I said. "We can't help you unless you're straight with us."**

**He looked around and bent lower over the table so we did the same. Obviously he didn't want anyone else hearing it - namely Dean since Missouri probably already knew. Dean, so _not_ being the Research-guy, was in the living room.**

"**I'm trying to save Dean," he almost whispered. "The stone is the catalyst for the ritual, but I need to find a _different_ ritual. Dean would never go for this one."**

"**Why not?" Sam asked, and I saw hope filling his eyes.**

"**Because if we can't find another way then in order for the ritual to work we'd have to trade one life for another. Someone else would have to die for him to live."**

**I shook my head. "We can't do that." My answer was immediate and firm and true. One: It would be wrong. 2: It wouldn't go over well with Dean. 3: I was back to it would be wrong.**

"**Well, we'll find another way," Sam said, grabbing a book. "At least this proves there is one."**

**I stared at the black stone again and wondered how _this_ particular stone could be part of a ritual to save Dean. What was so special about it?**

"**Do you know the history of this thing? Has it been used before? Where's it from?"**

**Bobby shook his head. "I don't know. All I know is that William bought it at an auction not too long ago so he could keep it out of the wrong hands. Most people don't know what this thing can do. Historians or people dealing with occult, yes, but not many."**

"**Hm. Did he say anything about a different way to do this thing?"**

"**Nope. He didn't even say _this_ way. I figured it out on my own."**

**I looked at Sam and then at Bobby. I said the next thing as seriously as I could. "We can't tell Dean. Okay. He'll break it without thinking twice. We won't even be able to _try_ and find another way."**

"**Agreed," Sam said.**

* * *

**Two hours later we had _nothing_ for our efforts so we did what we usually did in times of crisis: We planned and if that failed we would improvise.**

**One of us would go talk to this Professor Connors guy while the rest of us kept Dean busy. I hated being underhanded with Dean, but like I'd pointed out earlier…Dean wouldn't even let us look into this. And this, this was going to be hard. I'd already seen the hint of hope that Sam had felt and I knew how bad it would be if this didn't pan out. Everyone would have a big let down. We would feel even worse that we did now. A lot more pessimistic, too.**

**So, in short, we had to sneak around and not tell Dean about the weird maybe-helpful stone. If he found out we were keeping this from him he was going to be pissed, but it was better to look and be disappointed and heartbroken than to not try at all.**

**I would probably be the one to go to the college to talk to the professor. Dean would be able to read me in two seconds flat if _I_ was the one who was supposed to distract him. It was hard for me to lie, period, but it was especially hard to lie to _him_.**

**Since we already had a plan we decided to take it easy the rest of the night. I'd start bright and early in the morning - I even planned on doing it right by making an appointment to see the good professor.**

**Bobby was going to help keep Dean busy. Didn't know how, didn't really care as long as it worked. I wasn't too worried about Bobby though; he knew what he was doing.**

**Dean didn't ask about the research because he thought he _knew_ we'd tell him if we found something. The reason I knew he thought that was because I heard it. It made me feel even worse for not saying anything.**

* * *

**That night I enjoyed a nice hot bath; I enjoyed a nice hot bath whenever we stayed somewhere that didn't only have a shower.**

**After the bath Dean, Sam and I played poker with poker chips at the kitchen table, which we cleared of books. My poker face sucked anyway, but I had to try really hard not to smile the whole time because I could hear what their cards were in their thoughts.**

**After the third time I knew whether to fold or keep going Dean said I was cheating.**

"**I am not!"**

**Not really. I wasn't stacking the deck or anything. The cards fell where they were supposed to. Weren't you supposed to be able to read people when you played poker with them anyway? I just had…an unfair advantage. Okay, so yeah, I was _totally_ cheating. I wasn't going to tell them that though.**

* * *

**As planned I was the one who went to the college. I took the stone with me so there would be no confusion as to what I was talking about.**

**Sam and Dean were out doing…something. I wasn't sure what exactly, but it didn't matter as long as it wasn't anything too illegal.**

**The professor's office hours were from three to seven and it was now six so I had an hour to get the information together. Piece of cake.**

"**Come in," was the response I got when I knocked.**

"**Professor Connors?"**

"**Yes." Professor Connors was a man who was maybe in his forties. His hair was brown and his hairline was receding. His eyes were hazel and he had glasses on. He was tall and lean and friendly looking.**

"**Hi. Um…I'm Alyson Daniels. I'm a friend of Bobby Singer's. I'm here to talk about the thing you gave him. Why did you have it?"**

"**Straight to business, huh? No time for pleasantries?"**

"**Kind of on the clock here."**

**_Such a pretty girl. She looks so tired. I wonder what this is about_.**

"**Please, sit down," Mr. Connors said. "You have the stone with you?"**

"**Yes," I said, bringing the stone out of my back pocket; it had been flat enough to fit. "Bobby said it could help save someone we care about very much. He also explained _how_. It's an evil way."**

"**Evil things don't do good things unless they're gonna get something out if it." He was suddenly sympathetic. "Who are you trying to save?"**

"**My boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend. He's going to do in less than a year and…"**

"**He's sick. Maybe you should wait and -"**

"**He's not…sick. It's a little more complicated than that."**

"**You want to know if there's an alternate way of using the stone," the professor deduced. "If there is, it's not written anywhere."**

"**Okay, how does the ritual work then? How do we know it hasn't already begun?"**

"**The ritual isn't just a way to trade one life for another. You have to trade circumstances. Do you know anyone who's willing to do that?"**

**If the ritual began it would mean whoever was doing to ritual would be taking Dean's place in Hell. And I deflated. I loved Dean, but I wasn't willing to do _that_. It made me feel bad, but there it was. But I knew someone who _would_ do that.**

**Sam!**

"**How exactly does the ritual start. Does it actually take a ritual to start it or…"**

"**Just the person's presence will do. The stone will slowly fill with the person's life essence, the black stone will become white when it gets full."**

**The stone was still black now, so that was good. "If that happens, how do you reverse it?"**

"**You break the stone. Easy enough, right?"**

**If he was telling the truth, which his thoughts were saying he was, then yes, it sounded easy enough.**

"**Is that all? Is there anything else you can tell me?"**

"**I didn't know much about it when I bought it. I only knew the basics. That's why I kept it. Just in case someone _else_ wanted it. In the wrong hands it could be considered a great weapon."**

"**If it only takes one life then how is it a weapon?"**

"**If it's used _right_ it only takes one life. In the wrong hands…it could destroy the human race."**

**_Fortunately that's not in any books either,_ the professor added in thought.**

* * *

**When I left the professor's office I was bombarded with thoughts.**

**_One day the world will be running on empty._**

_**People with power and money don't have any problems they can't solve.**_

_**Probably cursing me out for thinking he's an idiot**_**.**

**I knew what was wrong. I'd walked by a class that was just getting out and I was in the middle of the crowd of students that had just come flowing out of the room. My head was starting to hurt as thoughts kept invading my mind and then I became aware of red metallic liquid hitting my lips and entering my mouth. My nose was bleeding.**

**I had to get away from the group. I began to rush toward the parking lot. I had taken Bobby's car and when I reached it I slid inside and began massaging my head. It was throbbing. I wiped my nose on my jacket sleeve but the blood kept on flowing.**

**I tilted my head back and just let myself rest for a minute. My world was kind of…spinning a little and then it was fading to black.**

* * *

**When I woke up I was no longer in Bobby's car. I was in a bed. A hospital bed. I was in a hospital, beeping machines and all.**

"**Mm." My head was still a little sore, but not as bad.**

"**Aly?"**

**My eyes snapped open and instantly landed on Dean. He looked angry and worried at the same time, and the worry was just making him more angry.**

"**Um…hi. What am I…doing here?"**

"**You should tell me. You've been hiding things from me, how the hell am I supposed to know what you're up to?"**

**Dean had been sitting, but now he was up moving back and forth at the bottom of the bed.**

"**You and Sam were going behind my back to…and then you didn't even come back to Missouri's last night. We had to come looking for you."**

**Last night? How long had I been in the hospital. How long had I been unconscious?**

"**You really piss me off, you know that? You didn't come back and what was I supposed to think, huh?"**

"**Dean, I -"**

"**No! I think I wanna hear me talking right now. I didn't know if you'd run off or if you were out lying in a ditch somewhere. Then Sam told me where you went and we got there and you were a mess. You weren't…waking up. You wouldn't wake up and, you know, I didn't even know what to tell the doctor when we got here. I am your _boyfriend_ and I couldn't even tell them what was wrong!"**

**I didn't correct his use of the term boyfriend. He still thought of himself that way and _I_ still thought of him that way.**

"**They did a bunch of tests. MRI's, CAT scans on your whole body, and I didn't even know if it was okay for them to do that. What happened?" The last thing was said through clenched teeth. "You keep shutting me out and…you used to tell me everything. Start talking."**

**Well, what did he want me to talk about? What had happened to me or why I was at the college?**

"**Dean, I don't _want_ to talk about it. I'm handling it."**

"**Right. Sam and I found you unconscious in a parking lot because you're handling it. You're lying in a hospital bed, because you're _handling it_." _I can't help her if she won't let me in_.**

**There was a knock at the door and Dean looked that way. I followed his gaze. A doctor in a white lab coat was there.**

"**Miss Daniels? Glad to see you're awake."**

"**Glad to…be awake."**

"**Did your boyfriend explain to you what happened? The tests?"**

"**Mm-hm."**

"**Well, I have a couple questions for you. The first being: How long have you been getting migraine headaches?"**

"**I-um…I've been prone to headaches all my life, why?"**

"**Well, here. Why don't you take a look at this." The doctor handed me a picture of a brain scan. "That is what a normal brain looks like."**

**The picture showed the scan of a normal active brain. The colors showed up red and maybe yellow - warm colors.**

"**I don't - I don't understand. What does this have to do with me?"**

**Dean sat beside me and looked too. "Is this hers?"**

"**No, but those red spots are hot areas, what you'd expect from a healthy, functioning brain."**

**The doctor, who I noticed was Dr. Adams - from her nametag - handed me another scan. This one had a bunch of blue and other cool colors on it.**

"**Then there's this. The cooler colors signify dead areas of the cerebrum. That means there's not enough oxygen getting to those parts of the brain. Now, there's nothing on the scans to signify why you're having these problems, but, if it progresses much further, there can be complications."**

"**Complications?" Dean asked. "What does that mean?"**

**I was suddenly glad I wasn't alone because I was hardly paying attention anymore. I didn't want to think about this. I didn't want to hear this. I _couldn't_ hear this.**

"**Brain damage," Adams said. "It could be a slow progression into a vegetative state."**

"**Well, what do we do? How can we help her?" Dean asked, all-business like.**

"**There's medicine to help with the pain, but that's all we can do. If we can't figure out why she's having her problems, there's no way to stop it. And this far in…it's progressed too far to change it. It may not get worse, but it won't get better."**

**_All we can do_, I thought. _God, I don't wanna die_.**

**After that I just stopped listening. Dean was paying attention; he could explain everything to me later. When the doctor left Dean shook me out of my stupor. His eyes were no longer angry. He'd lost the will to be angry.**

"**How long have you been going through this and you haven't told me about it?" His voice was gentle now, like he wanted me to know it was okay to tell him these things.**

**I felt something break inside of me now that the doctor was gone and I grabbed onto him and started crying. Full on I-can't-breathe crying.**

"**Dean, I'm in trouble."**

**_Uh, ya think_? was the response I got from his thoughts.**

"**How long has this been going on, Aly?"**

"**More and more recently." I gasped in much needed breath. "But they're not migraines. They're just a side effect of my abilities."**

**Dean's arms had wrapped around me instinctively when I'd grabbed onto him and now they were tensing.**

"**You told me you were gonna stop using them so much."**

"**I did. It's not all of them that's causing it; not all of them hurt. And I can't _shut it off_."**

**Dean pushed me away a little to get a good look at me. "What are you talking about? What aren't you telling me?"**

**I glanced toward the open door and gestured for him to close it. He did.**

"**Okay," I said, taking a deep breath because I felt like sobbing still. "You already know it takes a lot out of me to get rid of demons and things. It causes what doctors would call 'intense cerebral pain'. Then there's something new, an ability that I tapped into without meaning to and I can't make it stop."**

**Dean sat beside me again. "Go on."**

"**I can read your mind without touching you. I can read everyone's mind."**

**Dean's gaze sharpened. "No way."**

"**Yes way. Remember who we're talking about here. The other night when I wasn't feeling well you thought I might be pregnant. Which I'm not and it wouldn't be your fault if I was. Takes two to tango, ya know."**

**Dean seemed to be taking everything in easily, but I _knew_ - well, heard - that he was just pretending.**

**Thoughts like _What do we do? How do we help her? Oh, God, am I hurting her right now?_**

"**You can't do anything. The only way for me to stop this is to learn how to control it. And no, you're not hurting me. The only reason I passed out was because I was in a crowd and everybody's thoughts were hitting me at once. When it's just one or two people it's not that bad." I shrugged. "It doesn't hurt at all, actually."**

"**Oh, I hate your life," Dean said, raising a hand to pat my hair. "I know you can't help it, but…these abilities that are supposed to be so…_good_…are killing you."**

"**I am not gonna die," I said firmly. I grabbed his hand. "I am going to learn to control this and we'll save me just in the nick of time. That's what us hero-types do, isn't it?"**

"**Yeah, but what then? What about when you get another ability or when one of your other ones grows? What then?" _I'm not gonna be here much longer. I can't help her when -_**

"**Don't think that!" I exclaimed. "Please, that's all I've been hearing about the last few days. I can't hear about it anymore."**

"**That's…I can't control my thoughts. Let's talk about something else then."**

"**Okay." Most important. "Where's Sam?"**

"**They wouldn't let anyone else back here. Bobby and Sam and Missouri are in the waiting room. You were at the college for what? What were you doing there?"**

"**Sam didn't tell you?"**

"**Obviously _not_. You two have been secretive since we got to Missouri's. What's up?"**

"**I went to talk to that professor guy. I had that stone with me. Did you see it?"**

"**It's in your jeans pocket. What does that have to do with anything?"**

"**It has nothing to do with what's going on with me, I _promise_." He had to know that the stone wasn't causing this, it wasn't anything to do with _him_. My problem was my problem. "But there's a ritual to…try and save you."**

**That's when Dean just shut down. Therein laid _why_ I hadn't told him to begin with. He wouldn't even listen now if I tried to explain, I was sure.**

"**We didn't…do anything, I swear. We just looked. But we can't. Someone else would have to take your place, and -"**

"**You and Sam went behind me back to -"**

"**Well, what else was I supposed to do?" I almost shouted. My heart monitor went haywire. "I have tried to march in the support-Dean parade, but I hate just sitting back and watching you die!" I clenched my jaw and forced myself to breathe evenly. I waited until my heartbeat was back to normal before continuing. "The way you're feeling right now about me, the desperation to fix things, to make it right again? I feel that everyday, every time I see you." I sighed, knowing I was getting ready to hit him below the belt. "If you had a way that could maybe fix what's wrong with me, wouldn't you try?"**

**Dean didn't say anything for a second, but then…"That's not the same thing."**

"**No, it never is when it comes to protecting you," I said. Well, _seethed_. He was making me angry, so I did what I was good at: I avoided the subject. "Look, I just wanna get out of here, okay? They're not gonna find a physical reason for the _dead areas_ in my brain. There's no reason for me stay."**

**Dean sighed like he wanted argue about it, but instead he just shrugged, defeated. "Fine. Let me go talk to the doctor. See what she wants to do."**

"**She can't keep me here against my will. I'll get her to get me a prescription for the pain and then we can leave."**

**Before Dean left the room he turned back to me and said, "I just wish you had told me, that's all."**

**Then he walked out; he left me knowing how much I'd hurt him with those nine simple words. The truth was I hadn't _known_ my abilities were affecting me so badly. I knew that when I overexerted myself it _hurt_, but I hadn't known it was causing this much damage. Now I had a dilemma. The new mind-reading thing…well, I couldn't control that. But the other ones that I now could control - mostly - could hurt me too. Dean was going to tell me not to use them anymore and it made sense.**

**I wouldn't use them unless there was no other option, but I wouldn't just sit back and watch the people I loved get hurt or worse just because it could cause me another headache. I was aware it was a lot more complicated and dangerous than that, but I needed to keep things simple for now.**

* * *

Okay, so...I know this is a little on the short side, but...it's just introducing the idea of Aly really being in trouble because of these abilities of hers. If this was any other show I probably wouldn't have gone there, but in Supernatural there's always a trade-off. You can't have something good without something bad to even it out.

Anyway...this is an actual condition. I don't know if I explained it all that well, but I'll go more into it later. Yeah, but anyway...headaches can actually cause dead areas in your brain if they're bad enough, they can cause lesions or holes which, as the doctor said, means that there's not enough oxygen getting to that part of the brain and therefore that part dies. Or the cells die and brain cells can't regenerate so once they're gone that's it, you can't reverse it. Unless the doctors have come up with some new thing since I learned that in school. LOL

** Enjoy.**


	21. Worth the Price Part Two

**Okay, so...this is shorter than most of my previous offerings, but...it's still here. YAY! I've actually had this written for a while, but I got sick - stupid sinus infection - and I didn't feel like typing at all. Mostly I just slept a lot.**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

**Worth the Price?**

**After I was released from the hospital, Dean sort of withdrew from me. He wouldn't even _look _at me, let alone talk to me. I could tell that he felt betrayed, but the thing that was _bad_ was that I'd heard a thought come through loud and clear.**

**_I expect things like this from Sam, but her? Why didn't she tell me? Why didn't she want me to know?_**

**He'd begun to trust me again, but now…now that was shattered because of this. It seemed like I was messing things up all the time with him. I just didn't know how to do the right thing anymore, not when it came to him. But really, if I had told him, what could he have done? Except worry about it. He didn't need anything else to worry about; he had enough of his own crap to deal with to add mine onto the list.**

**Dean had explained to Sam and Bobby what the doctor had said and then the _real_ reason behind what was happening to me. Dean remained angry; Sam became sympathetic; Bobby became as concerned as Bobby let himself be. And I stayed silent through it all. I didn't know what to say or if there was anything _to_ say. My abilities were slowly killing me. Dean had said it himself.**

**God, I would have hard decisions to make in the future. I didn't know how I'd be able to make them with a rational thought process. This new mind reading thing was beyond my control right now and the others…well, if it came down to using my abilities or letting Sam or Dean get hurt, I would use my abilities. I would just have to make sure we'd tried everything else first. My abilities would be a last resort from now on.**

* * *

**Back at Missouri's I went to lay back down. I wasn't really tired, but I didn't want to deal with Dean or Sam right now. I was avoiding. _Again_.**

**That was a bad habit I was getting into, but I didn't know how to break it. It just seemed easier to avoid confrontation than to actually _have_ a confrontation.**

**But since when did I not say how I felt or what I wanted? Since when did I not face things head on? Since when had I become a coward? A coward who hid away because the outside world was too harsh and unyielding.**

**The answer was simple. I had changed the _moment_ I'd realized Dean was going to die. Dean had become such an integral part of me that, now that he was being taken away, I wasn't me anymore. Dean was my strength, so naturally, without him I wasn't strong.**

**But that wasn't quite right either. I _could_ be strong. I could find my own strength, strength that had nothing to do with anyone but me. I _could_ do that, but I didn't know how. Maybe I just wasn't ready for that.**

* * *

**Dean was mad - _pissed_ - at me and I got it, so I didn't complain and I gave him space to, um…get over it. I also made sure I kept the stone with me at all times so Dean wouldn't get any ideas. I didn't want him trading circumstances with me. With his deal, I wasn't sure what that would mean.**

**In the meantime, Missouri had me drinking some kind of herbal tea that was supposed to keep me relaxed and would help me sleep. It seemed to help me not get overwhelmed by thoughts. She was sympathetic; she knew what it was like and she would help me when I was ready. Basically, that meant when I could talk to Dean about it, and get him to agree.**

**I knew I needed to apologize for not telling him about my problem and I needed to explain to him I hadn't known it was that bad, but even if I had I was sure I'd have kept it from him for a while anyway. I wished I'd known, then I could have thought about _how_ to tell him. That would've been better. I would've had time to deal with it and then I'd have known what to say.**

**Oh, hell, who was I kidding? I never would've known what to say. Not about this. I didn't know how to deal with my own problems, I was too busy helping other people solve theirs.**

**A soft knock came at my door and I told whoever it was to come in. It was Missouri with another cup of her herbal tea.**

"**You should worry about yourself more, sweetie," she said as she sat on the bed by me. Obviously she could feel my negative vibes. "And don't worry about Dean. He'll come around. He's just hurt that you didn't tell him. You should talk to him."**

"**How bad is it?" I asked, knowing if anyone knew it would be her.**

"**You can't tell?" Missouri asked, smiling playfully.**

"**I can't hear thoughts unless I'm near the person physically. You know that." Then… "I can't hear yours at all."**

**Again she smiled. "I've learned a thing or two in my time. How to put up a wall to keep people out, for instance. Mine's not natural like yours, but it's still there."**

**I looked at my hands, which had the mug of tea in them. "Why am I hearing thoughts? I mean, I used to do that all the time with Dean, but now it's - it's with everybody."**

"**Well, it's just like your other abilities. They're expanding, getting stronger."**

"**Yeah, but it's killing me," I pointed out shakily. "It's going to…eat away at my brain until there's nothing left. Or it's gonna make me something I'm not. I know it can cause memory lapses or loss of motor function, things like that. And I can't…I can't live with being helpless like that. I'm not that person, Missouri."**

**In the middle of that little speech tears had started to well up. The gravity of the situation had finally hit me, maybe for all the wrong reasons, but hey…**

"**I can't be that person. I _know_ what's out there and I can't be weak and pathetic. I'm not…I suck at hunting without my abilities, Missouri."**

"**The hunting doesn't matter," Missouri said firmly. Apparently she was not a big fan of pity parties. "The boys _need_ you, that's what matters. _Dean_ needs you. He needs you strong and he needs you healthy. He needs _you_, the support you give him. Do you think he spent the last year-and-a-half with you because you had superpowers? He'd much rather you didn't. But your power doesn't lie in here." She patted my head twice and then moved her hand to place it over my heart. "It lies in here."**

**I grabbed her hand and squeezed hard. I was trying to open up the blockage in my head so I could talk to her telepathically.**

**_I don't want it to be like this. I don't wanna feel like this._ Meaning my whole depressive stage since Dean had made the deal. _I wish I could stop caring_.**

**Missouri smiled again, only this time it was sympathetic. "Caring is what makes you human, honey."**

"**Being human sucks," I said, semi-joking. For the first time that I could remember I felt overwhelmed at the thought of staying alive. It was…hard - which didn't cover half of it; it was the understatement of the century. With everything that was happening I didn't know how I was going to make it.**

**And see, monsters, guts and all that stuff I was good with, but…regular life stuff I couldn't handle. I didn't know how. Not on my own.**

* * *

**When I finally came out of the bedroom, out of hiding, I kept my distance from Dean. As long as he didn't take too long I would let him come to me when he was ready instead of me going to him.**

**I understood Dean's anger and hurt _and_ I understood the desperation he felt to make me better, to fix this thing that was wrong with me. And he was frustrated because he couldn't. As a hunter he faced a lot of scary things, but death and disease were two things he couldn't face, maybe the only two things.**

**Dean had been researching, which was a surprise in and of itself, but it really hit home because he was researching what was wrong with me. He just kept reading when I sat down, he didn't even acknowledge my presence.**

**I heard random flashes of thoughts going through his mind such as: _It can lead to a coma. Emotional and physical changes, depending on the extent of the damage. Headaches. Nausea. Dizziness. Lightheadedness. Fatigue. Mood changes. Confusion. Lack of concentration. Memory lapses._**

**The symptoms and the side effect of my problem. He was obsessing over it. He probably would for a while.**

**Forgetting the fact that I'd decided to wait for him to speak first, I said, "Dean, you can't protect everyone all the time. Things are gonna happen to me and to Sam that you're not gonna be able to control, that you're not gonna be able to do anything about."**

**There wasn't anything he could do to save me and it was tearing him apart. He felt out of control of the situation, he wanted to be doing something useful, wanted to be doing something that would put him back in control. He wanted something he could fight.**

"**Are you…are you hearing my thoughts right now?"**

"**Bits and pieces," I said honestly. "Enough to know that you're worrying about something you can't change."**

"**Am I hurting you? Or, God, would you even tell me if I was?"**

"**Yes, I would. And, no, you're not. I promise. And I'm sorry."**

"**For what? For lying to me? For -"**

"**I didn't lie to you! I didn't know it was that bad, that it was causing so many problems. I swear. What I'm sorry for is that I broke your trust in me. Again. I know that I was beginning to fix things between us, and I know that me saying that doesn't make it better. I just…tell me what to do to make it better."**

"**I don't think you can, Aly. There's nothing you can do either. I know that."**

"**Yeah." I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Look, I'll work with you and Sam on the more practical ways of hunting, okay? So I don't have to use my powers as much."**

"**You shouldn't be using them at all. At least not the ones that are hurting you."**

"**Yeah, hence you and Sam needing to train me." I closed the book Dean was looking through. "Where'd you get these?"**

"**The doctor gave me a list of literature I should go through. You can go through them, too, if you want."**

**I shook my head. "I, um…later. If it gets worse."**

"**Look, you have to tell us when you're not feeling well, okay? In our line of work you could get seriously hurt if you're off your game even for a second."**

"**I will. I promise."**

"**I mean it, Aly. This isn't a joke."**

"**Hence my no laughing," I said.**

"**Hey, guys, I'm goin' out for a while, be back in a few," Sam said, walking past the couch Dean and I were on. "I'm goin' for a drink."**

"**Drinkin' alone, Sammy?" Dean teased. "You know you get all weepy when you drink."**

"**Bite me, I'll be fine."**

**Dean grinned briefly, but it went away as soon as Sam went out the front door.**

"**You know, you don't have to be Mr. Unflappable in front of him. He sees right through it. And I _know_ it's bothering you, so stop pretending with me, too."**

"**Aly…"**

"**Don't Aly me, you know I'm right!"**

"**Hey, you two want a beer?" Bobby's voice came from the kitchen.**

"**No." My immediate response.**

"**Sure."**

"**Sam?"**

"**He's not here, Bobby," Dean said. "He went _out_ for a drink."**

**Jeeze, going out for a drink when he had perfectly serviceable beer here. Dumb guy.**

"**Dean…Missouri offered to help me get control of this new mind-reading thing. But I wanted - I wanted to ask you first. This one is the one that's hurting me the most now."**

"**You do what you have to do, Aly."**

"**Hm…Hey, Bobby, I think I do want that beer."**

**Dean looked at me strangely. "You don't even like beer."**

"**So, I wanna drink with you." I shrugged. "It's better this way. If I went out, someone could take advantage of my inebriated state. Or soon-to-be inebriated state."**

"**Mm-hm. And who's to say _I_ won't?" Dean teased.**

"**You won't. Because you love me."**

**A rare moment - well, rare for us _now_ - passed between us until Bobby came in with three beers. He placed one in front of both Dean and myself, and then he sat down with a beer of his own. Missouri came in after with a glass of red wine. Maybe she was one of those people who liked to have a sip before bedtime; maybe it helped shut her mind up.**

**Once the top was off my bottle I took a sip and immediately made a face of disgust. "Ugh!"**

**It made Dean laugh, though, so my second of disgust was well worth it.**

* * *

**A whole bottle of beer later I was feeling _okay_. I was a little tipsy, but I wasn't drunk. My tolerance was probably way up in the air. I could drink a few more, probably. But I didn't want a massive hangover in the morning. I was still sober enough to remember that.**

**Once my head started to feel a little buzzed, I went out in the backyard just to sit and look at the stars. I was feeling oddly at peace for the first time in a long time. Dean had come out with a blanket and had placed it around my shoulders.**

"**I'm warm enough already," I said, beginning to shove the blanket off.**

"**No, you're not." Dean put his arm around my shoulders to keep the blanket in place. "The alcohol makes you think you are."**

"**Oh."**

**I leaned my head against him and felt _right_, complete in a way I hadn't for months. I was in his arms where I was supposed to be. And this was okay, right? _Friends_ did things like this, right? Ex-lovers who stayed friends did stuff like this all the time. Or maybe I was deluding myself. Dean and I could be friends, sure, but never _just_ friends. Not with moments like this.**

"**Dean?"**

"**Mm?"**

"**Am I gonna be okay? When you're…not here…anymore? In your honest opinion, what am I gonna do…when you die?**

"**Oh, no. We are not taking that on tonight. You've been drinking."**

"**Exactly! Drinking! And I don't drink. I've never felt like I needed to drink but here I am. I'm really screwing up, Dean."**

"**You had _one_ beer. I don't call that screwing up."**

"**No, it is. Because I've always known what was right and how to be strong, but I don't anymore. Not really. It's just…everything keeps coming and it just keeps getting worse and worse. And -"**

**I heard something rustle in the trees behind the house. There was an odd flickering coming from that direction. Dean and I both saw it.**

"**Uh, Dean…"**

"**Stay here."**

"**No way. It's probably nothing, but I'm coming with you."**

**So we made our way towards the trees slowly. The flickering soon became this shimmering light. What the hell was that?**

**Then something dwarf-sized came through an opening in the trees. A dwarf-sized creature, maybe forty inches tall with stubby limbs. It had brown leathery skin and it looked like it was wearing shreds of brown paper bags. It looked like it was part of the rodent family with the pointy nose and the beady eyes. It had hair all over its body. It…kind of reminded me of the _Gnome Named Gnorm_ creature. It was so ugly it was almost cute.**

**I wondered what it wanted. Had it come out of the woods out of curiosity or was it evil and dangerous? A low growl made its way out of the creatures throat. Did that mean it was feeling threatened or that it was being threatening?**

**When the things spotted us, it snarled. Um…it was threatening. And it had fangs. It so wasn't cute anymore.**

"**A'right. Take it easy, short-stuff," Dean said.**

**Apparently the thing, whatever it was, could understand English because it responded to Dean's insult by charging at him. All Dean had to do was put a hand on the thing's head to keep it from getting too close.**

**I was a little tipsy, so that sight was hilarious to me and I naturally started laughing. It was one of the funniest things I'd seen in a while. But then it came after me and it slammed its head into my midsection, making me fall backward on the ground. Needless to say, I wasn't laughing anymore.**

"**Hey!"**

**The thing was pulled off of me by Dean, but I didn't get up right away. I felt kind of sick now. Alcohol and getting knocked around didn't mix.**

**Dean punched it in the nose, which seemed to knock it senseless.**

"**Aly, you okay?" Dean asked, while keeping an eye on the creature thing.**

"**I feel kinda nauseous, actually. What is that thing?"**

"**Uh…your guess is as good as mine. I got no clue."**

"**Should we leave it here or kill it or what?" I got up slowly but still got a little dizzy. Obviously, I'd been wrong earlier. My tolerance for alcohol sucked. "What did it want? To eat us?"**

"**Hope not," Dean said. "Don't joke about that."**

**The creature that I was now going to call a gnome started moving around restlessly; it was waking up.**

"**You will destroy all things here." It understood _and_ spoke English. Although the tone of it's voice was kind of guttural and rough. "You protect the stone."**

"**Destroy all things? What's it talking about?" Dean asked, looking from it to me. "Aly?"**

"**It doesn't matter. It's not going to happen."**

"**So? What's it talking about?"**

"**The stone. If…if it falls into the wrong hands it could be used as a weapon." I sighed, remembering what Professor Connors had said. "It could destroy the human race."**

"**Destroy the human race? Uh, you never said anything."**

"**Well, I forgot until now. Too busy thinking of other things. Like my brain dying."**

"**Right. Touché. But why don't you tell me now?"**

"**We must destroy the stone," the gnome's gravelly voice said. "That's the only way to guarantee no one can use it."**

"**Okay, one: I don't trust you," Dean said. "Two: how do you even know about it? And three: what happens when whatever this is happens?"**

"**The stone was not meant for human hands. It belongs to my clan, only we know how to use it right. If someone gets it and does the ritual wrong it can draw the earth's energy into it. It starts at the point the ritual takes place and spreads, destroys everything in its path."**

"**Did you know this?" Dean asked me.**

"**No, I didn't know…that. I knew we should destroy the stone, though."**

"**Well, why didn't you?" he asked roughly.**

"**Because I passed out and woke up in the hospital, Dean." I shook my head at both my own stupidity and at Dean's returning anger. "Look, I'll go get it now and we can destroy it together, okay?"**

**Dean nodded, somewhat appeased. "Go get it."**

"**Okay. Be right back."**

**I decided _not_ to run, considering my new nausea I had to deal with, but I finally made it to my room. I grabbed the jeans I'd had on the day before and checked the pockets and immediately found a problem. The stone wasn't there. Three guesses as to who had it.**

"**Damn it!" But, hey, at least I was sober now. There was nothing more sobering than finding out someone you cared about was in danger.**

**I actually made it down the stairs, running the whole way. Bobby and Missouri were still in the living room. They both looked so relaxed I was sorry I was going to ruin it for them.**

"**Guys, problem! Sam took the stone and he's probably planning on using it. If he does it wrong, he could kill everyone."**

**Again, sobering news. It would have been sobering for me, anyway. Missouri and Bobby just looked at me patiently as if they were waiting for the punch line of a joke or something.**

"**I'm serious. This…thing…came to us and said it's a big bad, okay? We gotta go."**

**Finally having gotten their attention, I raced back out to Dean and told him the same story about not having the stone. Sam had lied to us. He was going to try and save Dean and if he messed up…we'd all suffer.**

"**Damn it! A'right, well, we've gotta find him. Fast."**

"**Okay. Did you tell him? Anything about what I said?"**

"**About what? The stone? You didn't really tell me anything about it so how could I have told him?"**

"**Right." I didn't have time to feel sorry for that right now. "Well, he'd need to talk to the professor guy. He'd need to know how to do it. All it takes is his presence. The presence of someone who'll switch places with you. And he would. Connors said that's the only thing the ritual needs for it to start. The stone, it will draw his life into it. It'll turn white when he's done."**

"**Is that true?" Dean asked the ugly-ass gnome thing.**

"**Yes. I can find it," the thing said. "But you must make a deal first. You let me go, no trying to kill each other."**

"**Hey, don't forget who attacked who first, dude," Dean said.**

"**And we'll let you go when we find out you're not just yankin' our chain," I said.**

**The risk of Sam switching places with Dean was too great for us not to work with the creature. And in the event that it didn't work, we'd all be too dead to notice anyway. Silver lining, I guess.**

"**So find it," I said impatiently. "Today would be great."**

**The thing began humming and mumbling words that were definitely foreign and then it hummed again.**

"**What're you doing?" Dean asked, frowning.**

**The creature didn't answer, but it looked at me and said something I didn't understand. "Such pretty lights. Pretty pure light."**

**It reached for me, but Dean pulled me behind him. Then the creature looked away, like it was snapping out of whatever daze it had been in.**

"**I was reading energy in the air. When the stone has been activated my kind can follow the trail."**

"**Well, what're you waiting for. Let's go," Dean said.**

**Apparently, we would worry about my light show problem later. Sam took top priority here - which, story of our life.**

* * *

**The way the gnome thing seemed to be working was through trace reading, almost. Like there was a line directing it straight to the stone. It led from Missouri's house to the college to the professor's house. The Impala was parked in front of the house, so I guessed the creature knew what it was doing.**

**Now that we'd found Sam, the question became: What were we going to do? How were we going to deal with this? The normal kicking-of-Sam's-ass didn't seem to fit here. He was just trying to save his brother.**

**We didn't knock - that would give us away - we picked the lock. We followed the creepy creature thing and it led us to the basement. The professor was down there _with_ Sam. He had the stone, only it wasn't black anymore. It was slowly becoming lighter and lighter. The ritual was starting, and Sam…Sam was pale. Grayish even.**

"**Sam!" Dean almost growled. "What the hell are you -"**

"**Dean, I can't. I can't just watch you die!" Sam's voice was weak. He'd obviously been doing this for a while. "I knew - I knew you'd figure it out sooner or later. You'd find me and…now it'll work. You had to be here for it to work."**

"**The stone," the professor said. "It works like a containment vessel, but it can't work unless the two people it's working for are together. The books…the theories in them are wrong."**

"**You said this stone belonged to your clan. You must know how to use it," I said. "Stop it."**

"**That magic has been lost to us for years. Humans took everything. We want it back. I can put up a barrier to the magic from the ritual won't spread, but it won't save him."**

"**Let them leave first," Dean said authoritatively. "Bobby, Aly, the professor…let them leave. Everyone dying is not an acceptable risk."**

**I took a step toward Dean. "I'm not leaving," I said stubbornly. We'd been through this before. "There has to be another way. The books say if we break it -"**

"**You cannot break it!" Creature hissed. "You don't understand. Once the ritual has started there must be an exchange. The only way to get the magic to stop is for the stone to empty itself safely. If you could somehow convince him not to do this…"**

**I remembered then that just because we and the creature were working toward the same goal - not ending the world - it didn't mean we were playing by the same rules. It seemed to want the stone back even though before it had said it wanted to destroy it.**

"**Are you saying that because you want your stupid containment stone back or because something bad will happen if we break it."**

**It was urgent, the way I asked, because Sam was now slipping into unconsciousness. Time was of the essence here.**

"**I can put up the barrier. Like I said, you'll end up killing us if you try to stop the ritual. It'll be like a blast. A bomb. It'll be over quickly."**

"**It'll kill you, too?" Dean asked.**

"**Of course not," the professor said, standing up. "You'd have to be immune for the barrier to work, wouldn't you?"**

**The creature didn't say anything. And it seemed I couldn't read non-human minds; I was getting nothing from Creature. And this was getting us nowhere. Sam looked like he was sleeping peacefully now.**

"**Breaking the rock, it'll definitely hurt - kill - us?"**

"**Not guaranteed, but _something_ will happen. Something not good. Until the exchange is made…until the stone is empty again…it's volatile."**

"**I don't care!" Dean yelled, his temper at the boiling point. "I'm not letting my brother die."**

"**Well, whatever you're gonna do…you might wanna do it quick," the professor said. "He just stopped breathing."**

* * *

Okay, so, I suck with the cliff-hanger thing, but...anyway, yeah. Um...this chapter until the end was pretty much filler, but it was necessary filler stuff. Aly's insecurities and things about what she's going to be like after Dean is gone. How much it's affecting her and then Dean's evasiveness when she tries to talk about it and all that stuff. Oh, and the creature stuff will be explained in the next chapter. Basically it's based on the concept about the myth about things living underground and I'll get into it later.

So...as usual, tell me what you think. Thanks :)


	22. Worth the Price Part Three

**Worth the Price?  
Part Three**

**_He just stopped breathing_, the professor had said.**

**A split second after that, Dean barreled into the creature in a full-blown rage.**

"**Stop!" the professor yelled. "You stop!"**

**Dean was beyond listening, however. It was _Sam_ we were talking about. When it came to Sam, Dean was beyond reasoning.**

"**Killing him won't help," Bobby said. "And you're wasting time. We have maybe five minutes or there won't be any Sam to bring back. He'll be brain dead. Now let him up so he can put up a barrier. In case we fail."**

"**Fail what?" Dean said angrily, but listening to Bobby anyway. "We don't know what to do!"**

"**We can try and break it," the professor said. "If we succeed, Sam's life force will go back in his body."**

"**We can't risk everybody!" Dean said and then he looked at me. _Thought _at me. _Why didn't you destroy the damn thing?_**

"**This is not my fault," I seethed. "I didn't make Sam do this. Sam did it on his own." Then to Creature, "Put up the barrier."**

"**Aly," Dean said roughly. "No. You, Bobby, the teacher guy. Get out."**

**I looked at Bobby and Professor Connors. "Do you guys wanna leave?" Neither of them moved. "Then the barrier goes up."**

"**What do I get?" Creature asked.**

"**You offered," I reminded him. Or it. Whichever.**

"**I offered _earlier_. You didn't accept. What do I get?"**

"**This is your job, isn't it?" Connors asked softly. "You want a bribe to do your job?"**

"**My clan blame me for this. I was supposed to find the stone _before_ this happened. I need something to make them not mad."**

"**You can have your rock back if you save him. Now," Dean said.**

"**I can't reverse it. The exchange must be made."**

"**No!"**

**I ignored the male energy and went and picked up the now bright white stone. I could feel Sam's life surging through it and I quickly put it back down. Wow. It was really in there. It was a little…disturbing.**

**But…it gave me an idea. A very bad, very dangerous idea.**

**I put one hand on Sam's not moving chest and the other hand on the stone and began pulling. I tried working it like I would if I was exchanging energy. I was filtering it through me and back into Sam. I wasn't exactly sure it would work, but over bickering and fighting…it was worth a shot.**

**It kind of burned. I felt too full because I had both mine and Sam's life in my hands and then I pushed - shoved aggressively - to get the part that was Sam back into Sam. I was glowing again. Bright white, the color the stone had been, but was now fading fast. Once the stone was empty I focused on making sure all of Sam went back in to Sam.**

"**Aly, no," was the first thing Sam said.**

**That got _everyone's_ attention. As if my little light show hadn't been enough.**

"**I'm sorry, Sam. This is just…it's a lot bigger than you saving Dean."**

**I grabbed the rock and, figuring that since it was empty it was now not volatile, I threw it at the wall. I braced myself just in case.**

**Nothing happened. Well, except Creature was pissed and it charged at me. I dodged the attack, and pushed it to the floor. I kicked and caught the thing under the chin. It yelped and attacked in a biting kind of way. It's fangs grazed my left calf. It began throwing a tantrum - roaring, cursing - and then it was dead. A knife had gone through its neck.**

**Dean had been the one who killed it.**

"**You okay?" he asked. "Did it bite you?"**

"**Not really. It's just a scratch." And I had already healed from it. "Stone's gone, Sam's good, all's fine."**

**Dean's eyes reached into mine and I was lost in the intensity of his love for me. It was like the world paused for a second. It made me want to find a remote with freeze-frame and never _unfreeze_.**

**Aside from love there was also gratitude. I had risked a lot, doing what I had, but I had done it.**

**I gave Dean a knowing half-smile and gestured toward Sam. Sam, who looked extremely pissed. At _me_. He was probably cursing at me for messing up his plan.**

**Dean squeezed my arm gently before glancing at Sam.**

"**Sammy, you are so getting grounded for this."**

**Sam's color had returned, but he didn't say anything or react to Dean's words at all. He was just looking at the broken pieces of the stone I had shattered. He was clenching his jaw, and I was suddenly wondering how long he'd be pissed at me for messing up the only chance we'd had so far to try to save Dean. But…I couldn't deal with that right now. I didn't want to focus on the fact that I _hadn't_ _saved_ _Dean_. I'd had the chance, the opportunity, but…I hadn't taken it. I could've let Sam do what he'd planned to do. Dean would've been alive…and…**

**_No_. I'd had a way to save someone's life, so I'd done it. Simple as that. Or I was wishing it was as simple as that. But it wasn't that simple. It never would be as long as I was caught between Sam and Dean. And I _was_ stuck between them. I couldn't do anything without hurting one or the other. If I had let Sam die or trade himself for Dean then Dean would've hated me forever. But since I'd saved Sam…Dean was happy, sure, but he was still dying. And now Sam was pissed at me.**

"**You know what that thing was?" Bobby asked Connors, getting everyone back to business.**

"**A gnome that lives underground."**

"**Oh, I thought gnome." I had a second of happiness for being right and then I felt like crap again.**

"**He wasn't lying. Humans did steal some of his clan's secrets. That stone, storage vessel, whatever."**

"**Yeah, well, guess they won't be getting that back," Dean said, shrugging and looking at the pieces of the black stone; it had broken like glass. "What did _they_ use it for?"**

"**Prolonging their king's life. So the stories go, anyway. No hard facts, but since the stone was, in fact, in existence, I'd say the legend has at least some basis in fact. They, uh, like things that shine. Like your little light display." The last part was directed at me. "How did you do that?"**

**I sighed. "Let's just said I'm not completely normal, and we'll leave it at that."**

**I couldn't exactly tell him the truth, now could I? That would not go over well.**

"**You said that…gnome…it had a job?" Dean asked, getting the attention off of me.**

"**Most life forms on this planet have a food chain, so to speak, just like us. Workers, bosses, bosses boss's. That was a worker, obviously. They might send someone else, but it's unlikely. They - his race - will have felt the stone's energy disappear, they'll know it's gone."**

"**They won't, like, come after us now, right?" I asked. "Uh, revenge or something."**

**The professor sighed. "Probably not. But even if they did, you won't be here much longer, right? I know what you guys do, what's out there. They wouldn't find you."**

"**Great," Dean said. "Anything else we need to know?"**

"**Nope, that about sums it up."**

"**Good, so we can go. We need to bury that thing."**

**Dean went to Sam to see if he needed help getting up, but Sam shrugged him off.**

"**I'm fine, get off me."**

**Oh, great. Now we were going to have to deal with a bitchy Sam for the next however long it took him to get over it. Sam went up the stairs and out of the basement. I rolled my eyes and followed behind him.**

**Jeeze, tonight was going to be a ton of fun.**

**_God_.**

* * *

**Back at Missouri's place, Sam immediately went to his room. Probably to brood. Ungrateful bastard. He hadn't even helped us bury the gnome.**

"**I'm…I'm gonna go to bed," I said. "Night, guys."**

**Guys being Bobby, Dean, and Missouri; she'd waited up for us to get back.**

"**Don't go to sleep yet, okay? I wanna talk to you," Dean said. "I'll give you a few minutes and then I'll come up."**

**I nodded, wondering what he wanted. I could tell he wasn't in lecture mode, so… "Okay."**

**On my way to my room I stopped by Sam's and went in. He was getting his things together for when we had to leave.**

"**Sam…can we talk?" I hated when either of the guys were mad at me, so I wanted to make it right again.**

"**With each other? No. Please get out of my room."**

**I went towards him and said, "You are an ungrateful son of a bitch, you know that? And what did you think was gonna happen, huh? If you had died, Dean would've just switched with you again."**

"**Shut up," Sam muttered.**

"**No. Sam, I know you wanna save Dean. I know, believe me. But killing yourself is not the answer."**

"**I said _shut up_!"**

**Then he actually shoved me against the wall and pinned me there. He towered above me. I saw the angry tears in his eyes; I could also see that he wasn't thinking clearly. Obviously, or he wouldn't have shoved me.**

"**I had a way and you - you ruined it. You should've just let me -"**

"**Get your hands off her, Sam." Dean's voice was hard and it was coming from the doorway. "_Now_."**

**Sam looked like he was considering not listening for about fifteen seconds, but then he let me go. I moved away quickly. I got behind Dean, just in case one of them decided to throw a punch or something at the other. As it was, I'd never seen Dean look so angry at Sam. Apparently, one way to piss Dean off was for Sam to be violent with me.**

"**What the hell is wrong with you, huh? You don't touch her like that again!"**

**Sam didn't even look apologetic; obviously he thought I'd deserved what he'd done. As I'd thought earlier…he was an ungrateful bastard.**

**Dean grabbed my elbow gently and looked me up and down. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" _Maybe this is the beginning of their 'one destroys the other' thing_.**

**I wanted to tell him that 'no, it's not, Sam's just having a bitch attack' but I didn't.**

"**I'm okay," I said softly. "Um…I'm really gonna go to bed now."**

**I didn't look back at Sam as I left the room because my eyes began stinging. Sam had never done anything like that to me before - excluding the time he'd been possessed. He'd never been angry enough at me before, I guess.**

**I was in my room for about five minutes before Dean came in. I should've locked the door; I wasn't really feeling up for company right now. I was actually having an I'd-like-to-be-by-myself-so-I-can-cry moment. As it was, I did have tears on my cheeks. Dean did what he usually did and wiped them away.**

"**Are you really okay?" he asked softly.**

"**Yeah," I said. The sniffling really helped sell that fact. "He just, um…shocked me. But I'm - I'm fine."**

"**He was just bein' an ass, Aly. Don't let it get to you."**

"**Right." I looked down at the bed, not really feeling like looking right at him. "Uh…what did you want before that happened?"**

"**To tell you you're gonna be okay," he said simply.**

**I looked up at him and he cleared his throat uncomfortably.**

"**What you asked earlier. You asked if, in my opinion, you were gonna be okay, and, you _are_. I mean, I don't know if you noticed but it got really bad earlier. The gnome thing was flippin' out, _I_ was flippin' out. But you…you stayed cool. You knew what to do."**

**I scoffed. "I stayed cool because I _had_ to. I don't have the luxury of freaking out. Bad things happen when I freak out. As it is, I feel bad that you're still dying and part of me wishes that I hadn't saved him. And -"**

"**No _and_. You _did_ save him and that's what matters. It's not the what if's or could have beens that count, it's what you _do_. You did the right thing."**

**_No, the right thing would've been to let him stay dead when he'd been stabbed that time in the ghost town, but nooooo…_**

**That's when all this crap had started. When everything had started to fuck itself up.**

"**I don't feel very right," I said softly, my voice breaking. "I don't want to have to make these decisions, Dean. You told me once that I shouldn't have to. But you guys don't give me much of a choice! I mean, either way I was screwed. I saved Sam, not he's pissed and _you're still dying_. If I hadn't saved him then _you_ would've been pissed and then you would've just traded yourself for him again. And so the cycle goes."**

**I was shaking now as the intense grief I'd been suppressing for so long surfaced. It felt like my heart was literally being ripped open and played with.**

"**You guys are _so stupid_! You just need to _stop sacrificing yourselves. God!_"**

**There. I'd said what I'd been wanting to say for a _long_ time now, but I didn't feel any better. The only good thing that had come from my outburst was that I was now in Dean's arms. But I was sobbing and having a hard time breathing and, God, I _hated_ this. This, the never ending weight on my heart.**

**If this were TV we'd find a way to save both Sam and Dean and everything would be okay. We'd be okay. But this wasn't TV and things weren't going to be okay. Things were twelve kinds of wrong because this was real life and it was never simple. This was our reality.**

* * *

**The next morning thing were complicated. Dean and I had fallen asleep together. Granted, I got the best night's sleep I'd had in a while, but this made everything harder. Then again, it had been nice to just have him there with me, for me, if just for a little while. To keep each over company and to fall asleep together. I'd craved that closeness that was so natural for us. I'd had my fix for the night, but I'd be jonesing for it again soon.**

**Maybe…maybe last night would've showed Dean we could be close without being together. We could still have this, be us, without him worrying. It made me feel better, us being close. I wasn't talking about us sleeping together again - I knew that he'd only stayed because I'd been upset and he didn't like leaving me that way - but we could have something other than awkwardness between us now. Maybe.**

**I caressed his chest through his shirt before I untangled myself from him. I went downstairs in my pajamas and stopped at the kitchen doorway. Sam, Bobby, and Missouri were there. Missouri was making coffee; Sam was eating toast; Bobby was reading a newspaper.**

"**Sam," I said softly. "Can I…talk to you? Alone?" Last night was running through my mind and I had a few things I needed to make clear.**

**Sam nodded, but didn't say anything. He kept his eyes and head lowered as he followed me into the living room. We got to the couch, but neither of us sat down. When I finally looked at him - or when he let me see his face - I noticed his bottom lip was split; Dean had obviously hit him last night. I didn't feel the need to heal him, he needed to know that he couldn't treat me that way and get away with it.**

**He opened his mouth to talk, but I stopped him. "Don't say anything. You were upset last night, so you get one."**

"**What?" He looked at me, confused.**

"**A freebie. You get _one_. But if you _ever_ touch me like that again, I'm not just gonna walk away. You can't have a temper tantrum every time you don't get your way. It's immature, grow up. And _stop taking your issues out on me_. You've been doing that ever since you found out about Dean's deal and I've put up with it. But I'm done. Just thought I'd warn you."**

**I was completely calm, almost stoic, when I spoke to him. I was just tired of his attitude. He was pissed at Dean and he took it out on me and I was through indulging his moods. I'd been nothing but good to him and he couldn't even treat me with the same respect that I showed him. Brat.**

"**Aly." Dean's voice came from the stairway. My heart stuttered for a second and I turned to him. There was understanding in his eyes and maybe a hint of pride for me standing up for myself instead of just taking it from Sam. Well, sometimes people just needed to be put in their place.**

"**I'm finished, Sam. You can go back and eat now. Or whatever, brood if you want to. You're good at brooding." Now I was being slightly teasing. I even hit him in the arm to let him know we were good as long as he behaved.**

* * *

**Now that the fiasco with the stone was over, Bobby decided to pack it in and go home. Sam, Dean, and I were going to stay with Missouri for a few days so she could help me get control of my mind-reading thing in crowds.**

**Granted, I didn't like hearing Sam's or Dean's thoughts either, but they didn't hurt me like hearing everyone's thoughts at once. Theirs I could handle. Everyone else's, not so much.**

**First I had to learn to put up a wall between my head and the rest of the world. Actually, it would be more like a gate; I needed to be able to open it at will, just in case.**

**The gate itself wasn't hard to imagine, but it was hard to keep it up. To make it work I had to focus on keeping my power inside, to _not_ reach out with my mind. Sounded simple, in theory, but I never consciously reached out with my mind with anyone but Dean.**

**_Well_…I had that one time with that one girl, but that had been because she'd lied to us and I hadn't really had any other choice.**

**But besides _that_…only Dean. Everyone else had been out of my control. Meanwhile we practiced the practical fighting and weapons training. The fighting I was good at; the guns…well, I was mostly good - shotguns kicked my ass, though. Or made me fall on my ass, more precisely. There was too much force behind it, and I was new. I would need to practice a lot before I got that down. I was good with knives - I had good aim when I threw them and I knew enough when fighting with them that I needed to put the sharp end in the other guy.**

**As it was, I was sore. When I'd told Dean he needed to teach me, he was really teaching me. All day, every day. Jeeze. I was almost sorry I'd asked him for lessons.**

**_But_ I needed to know these things. I'd sort of slacked on practical things when I'd realized how powerful I was. But now…now I needed to find a healthy balance.**

**The problem was that my instinct was to use my abilities now instead of doing anything the normal way. My abilities were a part of me; they were normal to me now.**

* * *

**Missouri, Dean, and I were sitting in her living room. Practicing. Or starting to practice my mind reading thing.**

"**Okay…so…" I began. "What do I do?"**

"**Dean is going to think at you and you're going to block him. Once you can do that, we can bring Sam in and then you can practice when you go out - at the store, at a restaurant."**

"**Okay." I grinned at Dean. "Think at me."**

"**Okay, uh…"**

**_Aly?_ his voice resounded in my head. He sounded uncertain, like he didn't know if this would work or not.**

"**I can hear you, Dean."**

"**Good. Now…focus on pushing his voice out," Missouri said encouragingly.**

"**Okay, uh…I'll try." The problem was my instincts told me to keep Dean close, not to push him away.**

**Dean then got an annoying grin on his face and I had an 'uh-oh' moment because I knew he was going to do something.**

**Then _I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes' _began chorusing through my brain and I cringed.**

"**Dean!" That was annoying, but it would definitely get me to try and block him out. And so the song continued. "You're gonna give yourself a headache with that song."**

"**Or I'm gonna give you one," he teased. "Block me out. Make it happen, Aly."**

**Make it happen? Okay, this shouldn't be too hard. I'd blocked myself from him before once. It had been the first time I'd learned he might go to hell. The time I'd done that vision quest thing. About a week after I'd been having nightmares about it and I'd been able to control what we'd shared. How, I didn't know, that's just what happened.**

**I had known what I'd wanted him to know and what I hadn't wanted him to know and that had been that. I'd put up a wall around some of it so he couldn't get through and I'd been able to take it down when he'd wanted to see.**

**So…maybe all I needed to do was not want him there. If I…if I pushed back would it hurt Dean? Because I didn't want to hurt him. But I didn't want to hear this stupid song either. So I built a gate, one of those black iron-bar ones. It was closed, but shaky. I could still hear bits and pieces, but, hey…at least I was getting better at this.**

**Not bad for a first try.**

* * *

Okay, this is short, I know, but this is what came out when I wrote. I needed to let you guys know what the creature was and where it came from; I needed to get the Sam/Aly problem out of the way; I needed for Dean to see and maybe start to realize what the problem might be for all of them, and that maybe Sam and Aly are gonna have issues in the future. Now, about the Sam thing...I don't think he MEANT to hurt Aly, but sometimes when people are angry they do very stupid things. That's why that happened. But I also wanted Aly to come out of her griefy mood swings; she needed to learn that she doesn't ALWAYS have to count on one of the guys to do things for her, and I also wanted her to be honest with Dean about why she's so angry and all that stuff, so...this is what came out.

Enjoy! And thanks to those who review. :)


	23. Fresh Blood

**Okay, I believe I told you guys in the last update that my computer hates me, and it's still true. I can sign on and then it cuts me off and then I'll try again, same results. Anyway, as I said before, I'll update when it lets me.**

**Thanks to those of you who are still reading and waiting.**

**Fresh Blood**

**Sam, Dean, and I had stayed with Missouri for about two weeks, but we'd had to leave, sadly. It was halfway through December and we were in Albany, New York. Winter in New York; fabulous. We'd be lucky if we didn't get stuck there for a month.**

**We'd originally come there because Sam had read about a few girls going missing. All blondes. Hopefully we weren't dealing with another H. H. Holmes deal. That had been my thought until bodies had started turning up. Bloodless bodies with bites on their necks. One short step to vampire later and we'd begun tracking one. It wasn't hard; we'd followed the fairly fresh trail of bodies.**

**We weren't stupid, though. We all three had machetes and syringes full of dead man's blood. We'd drawn the vampire out by Dean cutting his arm a little too close to his wrist for my liking, but it _had _worked. I'd give him that. All Dean had been able to say was 'ow' when he noticed the pain from the slice on his arm and I was sure I'd given him a 'sometimes you are so stupid, but I love you anyway' look. I healed his arm when I realized the vampire was unconscious, courtesy of dead man's blood.**

"**That was reckless, Dean," Sam complained, and I agreed with him totally.**

**Dean had fallen back into his 'I'm dead already' ways and it had given him a good ol' Kamikaze spirit. But we'd gotten the vampire and now she was tied up in a room in an old abandoned hotel.**

**The woman-vampire had blond hair and, more importantly, blood on her mouth. It took her a while to wake up but when she did, she freaked out. Might've had something to do with the machetes we had, and also the fact that she was tied up.**

"**Where's your nest? Where do you and your blood sucking pals hang out?"**

"**I don't know what you're talking about," the chick said. "Please, I don't feel good. Just let me go."**

**After we went through all that trouble to get her? I don't think so.**

"**You know we can't do that," Sam said.**

"**Look, I took something. I'm freaking out, I don't know what's going on. I can't come down. I just wanna come down."**

**Oh, my God. She really didn't know she was a vampire. Somebody had given her something, tricked her into taking it, probably, and now…now we were going to have to kill her.**

**She told us she'd been at some club called Spider - I wouldn't go because of the name; who names a place after an arachnid? Jeeze. Some guy was buying her drinks and then he offered her something. Something new. He put some in her drink.**

"**Was the drug red and thick?" Dean asked, and the girl nodded.**

"**Huh. That's pretty smart. In a really bad way," I said. Pretending it's a new drug, offering it to idiots who are, well, idiotic enough to drink it…**

"**That was vampire blood he dosed you with," Dean said. "The nastiest virus out there."**

"**You're crazy, he gave me roofies or something. The next thing I know we're at his place and he says he's gonna get me something to eat, just wait. But I get _so hungry_…"**

"**So you busted out?" Sam asked sympathetically and she nodded.**

"**But it won't wear off…whatever he gave me."**

**All three of us were sympathetic to the poor girl, but the three of us also knew that we couldn't just let her go.**

"**Lights too bright? Sunshine hurt your skin?"**

"**Yeah…" The girl was suddenly listening very intently. "And smells. And I can hear…blood pumping."**

"**I hate to tell you this, sweetheart, but your blood's never pumping again," Dean said, not without feeling.**

"**Not mine," she said. "Yours. I can hear a heart beating from half a block away. I just want it to stop."**

"**It's not going to stop," Dean said, almost gently. He was probably feeling involuntary sympathy for the girl because she hadn't known what she was getting herself into. "You've already killed two people…almost three."**

"**No, I couldn't. I was hallucinating," she sobbed out. "It wasn't real. It was the drug."**

"**No, you killed them. A'right? We've been following a sloppy trail of corpses, and it leads straight to you."**

**Sam then jerked his head towards the door and Dean and I followed him.**

"**Poor girl," Sam said.**

"**We don't have a choice," Dean said and, because Sam and I both knew he was right, we nodded.**

**Dean took out his machete and I saw him push back any emotion that could stop him from doing his job. That was how he got through things - he knew he had to do them, end of story. And _he_ did them so neither Sam nor I would have to.**

**I tried to block out the girl's pleas to let her go and not to hurt her, but I just couldn't. Sam and I both flinched when we heard the machete slice into her neck and I even shut my eyes to avoid having to watch her head come off.**

* * *

**Sam and Dean had gone to that club the vampire had talked about and I was left to take care of the body. I was not going to enjoy that because to get rid of the body I had to burn it.**

**One of the guys would have done it, but they both went to the club because _I_ couldn't. Being around big groups still gave me a headache and I didn't want a repeat performance of what had happened at Missouri's, so I was left to take care of something I really didn't want to take care of.**

**I wasn't much into the burning of bodies. The smell alone was enough to turn me off of it, _but_ it was better than coming away with a migraine from having too many thoughts in my head that weren't mine.**

**I'd gotten better at blocking Sam and Dean from my head, which was good because they were both driving me insane. Though Dean's thoughts sometimes turned amusing, mostly they bordered on depressing now. It was getting closer and closer to the day he was supposed to die and we still hadn't saved him.**

**I used to be at least a little enthusiastic and lively - I wasn't a spaz or anything, but I'd been able to handle things better, get past things quicker, move on and have fun - but whatever I'd been before…I wasn't anymore.**

**I'd burned the body behind the hotel we'd had her in. The neighborhood we'd been in was pretty much deserted so the fact that something was burning went unnoticed. And it wasn't for lack of gagging, but I didn't throw up. _Then_ the waiting began; the nerve-wrecking waiting that always happened whenever I was away from the guys when they were working. Granted, I knew it was necessary for me to stay behind and I wasn't going to complain, but it also made me edgy because I didn't know what was happening to them at this very instant.**

**As the two hour mark passed, Sam came into the room and he looked…mildly upset and worried.**

**Ever since I'd told him I wasn't going to put up with his crap anymore, he'd been nicer to me; maybe that had been all I'd needed to do. Point was I still cared about him and I didn't like when something was wrong with someone I cared about.**

"**What happened? Did you find the vampire? Where's Dean?"**

"**Gordon's out of jail, he came after us. Yes, we found the vampire, but we didn't kill him; we were interrupted. He didn't get to change anybody tonight, though."**

"**And Dean?"**

"**He told me to leave. He drew Gordon off. He had that crazy guy with him, the one that we met in Black Rock."**

"**Kubrick?" The one who'd thought he was on a mission from God. Great. He thought Sam was some kind of Anti-Christ - or _the_ Anti-Christ. "Great, so now we have to worry about a raging psychopath as well as a vampire." At this point, I was feeling better about the vampire.**

* * *

**Neither Sam nor I wanted to be a mother hen to Dean because Dean knew what he was doing and could get the job done on his own, but - and there was a but - he was beginning to take stupid risks. Like telling Sam to go and then taking off on his own. And not answering when we called, and then showing up about an hour later saying he'd 'stopped for a slice'.**

**If I had been closer, I'd have punched him one. Stopping for a slice while we were sitting here in a dingy old motel room was a definite way to piss me off.**

"**Nice move you pulled back there, Dean, running right at the weapons."**

"**Well, what can I say? I'm a bad ass."**

"**No, you're a dumb ass," I muttered, but he heard me anyway.**

**He ignored my comment and Sam's worried face, which kind of made me angrier.**

"**So, I guess Gordon's out of jail."**

"**Uh, yeah, I guess so," Sam said, still worried but willing to move on. "You know, how the hell did he know where to find us?"**

**There was a moment of silence and then Dean seemed to have a light bulb moment.**

"**That bitch."**

**I figured out who he was talking about after the word bitch came out of his mouth. But even if I hadn't known, the 'hi, Bela' that came out next would've helped me figure it out. He'd called her on his cell phone.**

"**Question for you. When you called me yesterday, it wasn't to thank me for saving your ass, was it?"**

**The phone wasn't on speaker, but I could still hear somewhat well.**

"**Gordon Walker paid me to tell him where you were."**

"**Excuse me?"**

"**Well, he had a gun on me. What else was I supposed to do?"**

"**I don't know, maybe pick up the phone and tell us that a raging psychopath was dropping by!" Dean yelled. "He tried to kill us!"**

**She said something I didn't quite catch and then… "Bela, if we make it out of this alive, the first thing I'm gonna do is kill you."**

"**You're not serious."**

"**Listen to my voice and tell me if I'm serious."**

**He was. I could tell it; Sam could tell it. I wondered if Bela could. And part of me didn't care because I didn't like Bela anyway. She was a nuisance and always got in our way.**

**Dean hung up and looked like he was going to throw his phone against the wall, but he didn't. It occurred to me that since I wasn't spending all my time with him and Sam that I missed a lot; I hadn't even been aware that Bela had called the day before.**

**Dean didn't say anything after that. He just went on to sharpen his machete; Sam and I were cleaning our guns.**

"**The vampire's still out there, Dean," Sam reminded him.**

"**That's assuming he's the only one," I said. "The girls that have gone missing."**

"**First thing's first," Dean said.**

"**Gordon," both Sam and I said.**

**Dean looked at us both and he had an almost cautious look in his eyes.**

"**About that…when we find him, or if he finds us… I'm just saying he's not leaving us a whole lot of options."**

"**Yeah, I know. We've gotta kill him," Sam said calmly.**

**Dean almost did a double-take. Me? Not so much. Sam had been changing recently, just like I had, and had become harder, so I wasn't much surprised.**

"**Really? Just like that? I thought you would've been like 'no, we can't, he's human, it's wrong'." Dean had finished in a mock-whiny voice.**

"**No, I'm done," Sam said steadily. "Gordon's not gonna stop until we're dead…or until he is."**

**Dean arched an eyebrow in agreement. Then he turned to me. What, was I the swing vote?**

"**Aly?"**

"**Whatever you guys decide. I know Gordon needs to be dealt with and being nice didn't work, so…"**

"**Yeah, but can you kill him if he comes after you?"**

"**If it comes down between him or me or any other innocent person? Yeah, I can kill him."**

**I realized I was talking about a human, like Dean had mentioned, and just a few short months ago I wouldn't have been able to say what I'd just said, but I wouldn't have been able to burn a corpse either. Not without vomiting anyway.**

* * *

**Bela called back about an hour later to tell us where Gordon was and that we shouldn't look for him. Her exact words were 'run like hell.'**

**We _didn't_, of course, because we didn't run away from our problems. No, we rushed headlong into trouble, that's what we did. Bela had said Gordon was being held in a warehouse with a neon sign outside. Would've been helpful if we weren't in the warehouse district.**

**But eventually we arrived at a warehouse that had a neon sign reading _Trade Co._ on it. We went in the basement because that was where my radar was leading - the steps had blood on them; it looked like footprints or something. In the basement we found the bodies of two girls, they were headless and hanging by their wrists from the ceiling.**

**The room was kind of set up like a living room suite. Two chairs, table, carpet. The two bodies took away it's charm. Then there was a guy - the vampire Sam and Dean hadn't gotten to get rid of earlier because of Gordon - kneeling on the floor in front of the two bodies.**

**Dean picked up a knife from the nearby table, and the vampire said, "Go ahead. Do it. Kill me."**

**Hm. The guy must've been messing with us. Vampires don't just let people kill them.**

"**What happened here?" Sam asked.**

"**Gordon Walker," the vampire spat. "I never should've brought a hunter here. Never. I just…I just wanted some kind of revenge." He stood up to face us. "So stupid…exposing him to my family."**

"**Oh, yeah, you're such a family man," Dean quipped.**

"**Dean…" I chastised. No, I didn't agree with what this guy was doing, but he was genuinely hurting all the same.**

"**You don't understand. I was desperate. You ever felt desperate?" The vampire and Dean started circling around each other - predator/prey; I wasn't sure who was who in this scenario - and I had to force myself not to roll my eyes. If they were going to attack each other, why didn't they just do it already?**

"**I've lost everyone I've ever loved. I'm staring down eternity alone. Can you think of a worse hell?"**

**A pause from Dean, then… "Well, there's Hell."**

**The vampire scoffed. "I wasn't thinking. I just - I didn't care anymore. Do you know what it's like when you just don't give a damn? It's like…it's like being dead already. So just go ahead. Do it."**

**Sam went around Mr. Undead and started inspecting the headless bodies. My stomach kind of rebelled at the sight, but it only lasted a second.**

"**Dean. Head wasn't cut off, it was ripped off. With someone's bare hands."**

**I let out a sharp breath; it wasn't hard to put the pieces together. "You turned him. Gordon. Didn't you?"**

**Sam and Dean shared an almost panicked look. I didn't have to read their minds to know what they were thinking. Gordon Walker, vampire hunter, was now a vampire. A vampire with a mission - a mission to destroy Sam. Not good.**

**I jumped with Dean decapitated the vampire - Jeeze, warning next time. I kind of felt sorry for the vampire. He'd been lonely; he hadn't changed anyone because he was evil - excluding Gordon - he changed them out of the fear of being alone. Didn't make it _right_, but still…**

"**Damn it," Dean muttered. "Gordon with super powers. Friggin' fantastic."**

"**Tell me about it," Sam said.**

"**Well, he'll have to feed soon. Assuming he hasn't already," I said. "I don't think he'll be sloppy enough to leave bodies behind, though."**

"**No, he wouldn't," Sam said. "We need to find him before he does any real damage."**

"**Well, the sun will be on our side for a while. He wouldn't want to be out in the light. Not when he's this new," Dean said. "So we split up. Check motels, empty buildings, warehouses."**

"**That could take a while," Sam said. "It's a big city, Dean."**

"**Yeah, I know. You two take one side, I'll take the other."**

"**You wanna go alone?" I asked. "After Gordon the vampire?"**

"**Don't have a choice. Neither of you should be by yourself, I can handle it."**

"**Oh, and we can't?" Sam asked.**

"**Not what I meant. I just meant…Gordon is after _you_, Sam. You shouldn't be going after him yourself. And Aly shouldn't be alone either. What if she has an episode or something. Best you two stick together."**

"**Well, why don't we go together, the three of us?"**

"**No, we cover more ground if we split up."**

"**Or we can cover _no_ ground and continue talking," I said, rolling my eyes. "Let's just go. Let's agree to call if we find him, yeah? No taking him on alone. Okay?"**

**Dean didn't speak; Sam nodded.**

"**Okay?" I asked again.**

"**Fine," he muttered. "I'll behave."**

**I smirked a little, though I wasn't sure he was being honest.**

"**Thank you."**

**Then we left. It was daylight so we couldn't really do anything about the bodies at the moment. We probably wouldn't do anything anyway - nobody would come in here; not anybody that would be able to turn it in without they themselves getting in trouble.**

* * *

**As Sam and I were hunting for Gordon I noticed that a few houses had Nativity scenes up outside. It was that close to Christmas. Christmas wasn't that important to me; my mother and I had stopped celebrating after Jack had left. We had never put much stock in the holiday; we knew a lot of people celebrated it as Christ's birthday, but it was actually supposed to be a Pagan holiday, so…**

**Point was the time was flying by and I couldn't get it back.**

**Sam and I checked motels, empty buildings, warehouses, _and_ places that seemed weird for vampires to frequent - Gordon would know we'd be looking in the other places so he'd probably stay away from them.**

**We stopped for lunch around two-ish and then continued searching until six, then Sam picked up a tourist map so we could find other places we hadn't looked yet. Why hadn't we picked one up in the first place and scoped out all the likely places?**

**When Sam and I got back to the motel - the abandoned one we just happened to have to stay in just in case we had to take care of a few more vampires - we saw Dean was already there. He obviously hadn't found anything either; he was frustrated.**

"**It's like a giant haystack, and Gordon's a deadly needle. We're running out of daylight. Won't have the sun to slow him down."**

"**Yeah, he'll be unstoppable."**

**The three of us ended up getting new phones because Sam said if Gordon knew our numbers he could use the signal to track us down. I was more of the opinion that if _he_ tracked us then we wouldn't have to track him, but I went along with it anyway; Sam destroyed our old ones.**

**Once that was taken care of Dean dropped us off at the motel and attempted to leave Sam and me there by ourselves. Sam and I both said 'no' right away.**

"**I don't need you to sign me a permission slip, okay? He's after you, Sam, not me, and he's turbocharged. I want you to stay out of harm's way. I'll take care of it."**

"**You're not going by yourself," Sam argued. "You're gonna get killed."**

"**It's just another day at the office. It's a massively dangerous day at the office."**

"**Yeah, but…you can't go alone," I said. "He could rip you apart without batting an eyelash. Then we'd be here thinking 'Gee, it's too bad we weren't there getting in the way of that'."**

"**I'll be fine. Quit worryin'."**

"**I can't! You're being reckless. Going after Gordon alone is stupid."**

"**We're sick and tired of you Kamikaze trip," Sam added.**

"**Kamikaze? I'm more like a ninja."**

"**You're not funny," I said. "You're taking stupid risks and -"**

"**Part of the job, Aly," he interrupted.**

"**Only when you do it. If we did the things you do you'd be on our asses so fast -"**

"**It's because he's the guy with nothing' to lose now," Sam said. "Because, uh, it's because you're already dead, right?"**

"**If the shoe fits." Dean shrugged indifferently. "I mean, what do you want me to do, Sam, huh? Sit around all day, writing sad poems about how I'm gonna die? You know what? I got one. Let's see, what rhymes with 'Shut up, Sam'?"**

"**Dude, drop the attitude, Dean. Quit turning everything into a punch line. And you know something else? Stop trying to act like you're not afraid."**

"**I'm not!" Dean yelled.**

"**You're lying," Sam countered. "And you may as well drop it 'cause I can see right through you."**

"**You got no idea what you're talkin' about."**

**Dean had turned away from us with his 'this discussion is over' tone and it made me want to smack him.**

"**Yeah, I do. You're scared, Dean. You're scared because your year is running out, and you're still going to Hell, and you're freaked."**

**Finally someone that wasn't me had pointed that out. Though, personally, I thought Dean was just being an ass. He had to know how he was acting would affect us this way.**

"**I've been following you around my entire life! I mean, I've been looking up to you since I was four, Dean. Studying you, trying to be just like my big brother. So, yeah, I know you better than anyone else in the entire world. And this is exactly how you act when you're terrified, and, I mean, I can't blame you. It's just…"**

**Throughout Sam's tirade I felt his emotions as if they were my own. It only happened when someone was feeling something extreme, like now. I could feel how Sam's chest had tightened almost painfully, how desperately he wanted to get through to Dean.**

"**It's just I wish you would drop the show and be my brother again. 'Cause…just 'cause."**

"**Because you're not dead yet, Dean," I finished for Sam. "But you could be soon and we want to remember you how you really are. Not like this."**

**Dean's emotions were to complex for me to even begin to comprehend, so I didn't try. I just waited to hear his response.**

"**A'right, we'll hole up." His voice was softer now that he knew how we felt. "Cover our scent so he can't track us, wait the night out here."**

**Dean's eyes were filled with surprise, probably from Sam's speech. Had he not known that Sam looked up to him? Dean was oblivious like that sometimes. Part of his charm, but still…he should open his eyes more.**

**The three of us began doing stuff to keep us safe through the night. Dean and I began barricading the door and windows - the first with the bed frame, the latter with whatever was available - and Sam began gathering together stuff to make the mix John had told us about; the stuff that would cover our scent because the mix smelled so bad.**

"**Thank you," I said softly as Dean and I worked. "For listening."**

**I touched him on the arm briefly before I got back to work. That was all I'd wanted to say. I needed him to know that I was grateful for him at least _trying_ for us.**

"**A'right, guys. Here we go."**

**Sam began burning the stinky-ass mix and then I began breathing through my shirt. Jeeze. I knew this was necessary, but why did it have to be so smelly?**

* * *

**I had _just_ dozed off when Dean's new phone rang. I groaned; I needed my sleep, damn it, it was doctor's orders.**

"**You've had that phone two hours, Dean. Who'd you give the number to?"**

"**Nobody," he answered. "Hello?" Then, "How'd you get this number?"**

**Dean put the phone on speaker.**

"**You're scent's all over the cell phone store. Of course, I can't smell you now. Where are you?" It was Gordon, of course.**

"**I guess you'll just have to find us," Dean said.**

"**I'd rather you come to me."**

"**What's the matter, Gordo? You're not afraid of us, are you? We're just sitting here. Bring it on!" Dean was doing his while taunting the enemy thing; it either pissed the enemy off to the point of violence or it made said enemy make a mistake. I wondered what it would do this time.**

**Then there was the sound of a sobbing girl - it filled the line. Gordon had…kidnapped some poor girl? Had he fed from her? Did he plan to? Or was she just leverage?**

"**Factory on Riverside off the turnpike. Be here in twenty minutes or the girl dies."**

"**Gordon, let the girl go," Dean said and he wasn't taunting now. He was being completely serious. "You don't kill innocent people. You're still a hunter."**

"**No, I'm a monster."**

**In my opinion, he'd never been anything else.**

**Dean cursed as he hung up the phone; we didn't have a choice but to do as Gordon had said.**

**So when we got to the factory we looked for the girl - she was our first priority now. The girl was still sobbing and could barely walk for freaking out - I understood; she'd been through quite an ordeal - so Dean began carrying her.**

"**We're gonna get you out of here," he said. "Guys, stay close."**

**_That's not a problem_, I thought.**

**Only it was a problem because, even though Sam had been following us closely we still got separated. A door slid down and cut us off from each other. Sam was on one side; Dean, the girl, and I were on the other.**

**I watched as Dean put the girl down and began kicking at the door, because, yeah, that would get the job done.**

"**Damn it, Sam!" Dean yelled in frustration.**

"**Dean!" I could hear Sam doing the same as his brother was - kicking at the door.**

"**Sam, be careful!" Then to me, "Aly, can you get this thing up?"**

"**I can try, but I'm running on no sleep here, so I probably can't do much of anything."**

**I concentrated on lifting the door because _I'd_ been the one who had said we shouldn't face Gordon alone and Sam would have to if we didn't get on the other side. My efforts were interrupted, however, by a sharp - _sharp_ - pain in my arm. My first thought was 'What the hell?' and then I saw that the girl we'd come for…well, she wasn't a girl at all; she was a vampire. A vampire that was biting me and draining me so fast my head started spinning. It kind of disgusted me since I should've been able to tell she wasn't human right away, but _no_ I couldn't differentiate when there was more than one thing around.**

**A shot rang out and the vampire eased up on the killer grip she had on my arm. Dean had shot the creature in the forehead and it was now slumped over on the ground. There was the light display that the Colt usually produced.**

**I fell to my knees and let out a few shaky - almost laughing - breaths and then I semi-glared at Dean. "I was standing right there. What if - what if you had missed or the thing had moved me?"**

"**I don't miss." Dean knelt by me to check out my arm. "Are you okay?"**

**The pain had faded, so I figured I had already healed.**

"**I'm good. In serious need of a blood transfusion, maybe…but I'm good."**

**Then there was a crash and it took me all of about fifteen seconds to realize what had happened. Gordon and Sam had come flashing through a wall that was separating us. Sam lost his machete in the process of hitting the ground and Gordon flung him across the room.**

"**Don't move," Dean said to me, and, hey, massive blood loss, couldn't have moved if I wanted to.**

**Dean pointed the gun at Gordon's head, but the vampire was too fast. This time it was Dean who got tossed across the room. He was pinned to the wall and Gordon began biting him. I found I _could_ move if I wanted to - I had motivation to. I hadn't seen Sam get up, but he was there pulling Gordon from Dean and then Dean fell to the ground, unconscious.**

**I tried to block everything but Dean. I couldn't care that Sam was now on his own fighting Gordon because I had to make sure Dean was okay.**

**Dean was deathly pale, but he was breathing. His pulse was steady, but he had lost more blood than I had. I wiped the excess blood away from his neck just to take in the damage. The marks weren't that deep, so I used some of the last vestiges of strength I had to heal him. I wouldn't feel better until he was up walking around.**

**I heard a choking sort of sound; Sam was using razor wire to try and rip Gordon's head off. Sam was working off of pure hatred and adrenaline. First thing I could think was 'ew', second - Go, Sam!. Third 'please don't get his blood in your system.' And I vaguely thought 'ow' and winced as I felt a phantom pain in my hands just by thinking about how much the wire would be hurting Sam.**

**I grimaced as Gordon's head came off. I forgot all about Gordon when Dean woke up, however. His hand instinctively flew to his neck, but I caught it and covered it with my own.**

"**I got it. You're good."**

**He then moved on to the next order of business - standing up. I helped him to his feet and he stumbled a little from weakness, or maybe from dizziness. He looked down at Gordon's head; his brows shot up in surprise.**

**Sam shrugged sheepishly and we began walking out of the factory. Slowly. None of us were at our best.**

"**You just charged a super-vamped-out Gordon with no weapon. That's a little reckless, don't you think?"**

**Sam and I shared a look and rolled our eyes. Dean calling someone reckless was like the pot calling the kettle black, _but_ he was probably only doing it because we'd called him out on it earlier.**

"**Give me your hands, Sam." I grabbed them before he had time to protest. "You have to drive. Dean and I aren't in any condition to."**

**So I healed his hands and he wiped them off on his jeans.**

* * *

**We went to a different motel - one that wasn't abandoned - and planned on staying there for a few days. We needed to nurse our wounds or at least replenish the blood in our systems. We'd all lost a lot.**

**I was still getting my own room; that wasn't going to change. Dean came with me, made sure I took all the precautions, made sure I was okay. I was good, needed vitamins and some sleep and maybe some Excedrin, but other than that I was fine. I could move around without holding onto anything so I figured it couldn't be that bad.**

**Then I was alone. Only this time it was different. I was sort of reveling in the aloneness; I needed peace and quiet after everything that had happened.**

**For the first time in a long time…I didn't feel lonely.**

* * *

Okay, so...I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter, it kind of kicked my butt when I was trying to write it. It feels off, maybe a little mechanical to me, but that's just me. I'm my worst critic when it comes to my writing. Hope you enjoyed.


	24. A Very Supernatural Christmas Pt One

**Okay, so again with the long wait. Sorry! I've had stuff to do this time, it's not the computer's fault, though it is still having issues. I've had to shop for my cousin's wedding, then I had to GO to the wedding. Then she had to leave, she moved to Hawaii and I had wanted to spend as much time as I could with her before. Then I had a doctor's appointment, and now my mom has one and I'm just praying everything is okay.**

**Anyway, hope you guys enjoy.**

**A Very Supernatural Christmas  
Part One**

**The day after the Gordon incident took place I spent alone for the most part. I'd come up with a workout routine for myself - sit ups, push ups, occasionally jogging. I needed to stay sharp, especially since Dean had taken to training me. He had a good fifty or sixty pounds on me, so I needed something to give me an edge. On a good day, I was quicker in my movements than Dean.**

**The only time I had problems keeping up was when I was running - they were taller and therefore faster because they could take longer strides, but when I was fighting Dean, I was quicker because I was lighter on my feet.**

**After my routine I watched some TV. _It's a Charlie Brown Christmas_ was on, but I didn't watch it; I wasn't in a Christmas-y mood. Finally I decided on a music channel. It was an 80's station and _Seasons Change_ by Expose` was on.**

_**Some dreams are in the nighttime  
And some seem like yesterday  
But leaves turn brown and fade  
Ships sail away  
You long to say a thousand words, but seasons change  
It feels like it's forever  
No reason for emptiness  
But time just runs away  
No more day by day  
You dream again, but it seems in vain when seasons change**_

_**I want you  
I want to feel you by my side  
I need you  
Don't you know I need you, baby**_

**Yup, nope, time to change the channel. I was doing that avoiding thing again. I needed rock. Or pop, maybe. Ashlee Simpson was usually good. I turned off the TV and got my Ipod instead**

_**It seems like yesterday that my world fell from the sky  
It seems like yesterday I didn't know how hard I could cry  
It feels like tomorrow I may not get by  
But I will try, I will try, wipe the tears from my eyes**_

**Switch again. Last ditch effort: Brie Larson**

_**My alarm starts to ring and I know  
I gotta get up out of bed  
Even though I'd rather stay here instead  
Drag a comb through my hair, I don't care  
That my clothes don't even match  
'Cause today I'm not gonna worry 'bout that  
I wanna be somebody else  
Because I'm getting tired of myself**_

**I could relate to this one too, but it didn't really have any negative connotations, so I left it on. It was better than the last two. The reason I was wasting time with the music was because Dean was giving Sam a mechanics lesson. That so wasn't my thing. It would have gone way over my head, and I wouldn't have remembered anything anyway.**

**Later that day I went out to get food. Chinese; we hadn't had it in a while and I had a craving for sweet and sour chicken. Mm, and egg rolls. So I borrowed Dean's car and went for all of us.**

**I stayed with them while we ate, but right after I went back to my room; it was easier that way. I was thankful that I'd had the presence of mind to buy me a laptop a while back. Now I could just pull up books whenever I wanted to and read to my heart's content.**

* * *

**As Christmas grew closer Sam found a weird case in Michigan where people were getting sucked into chimney's. Yup…chimney's. At first I'd laughed because I'd been _sure_ he was joking, but then I'd read about it myself. Needless to say…I'd stopped laughing real quick.**

**Sam and Dean were talking to the wife of one of the victims. They were pretending to be FBI agents today. I was in the car, waiting. I wanted to help, I did, but I couldn't handle all the emotions I knew the wife would unwittingly fling at me. I couldn't handle my own emotions, let alone everyone else's.**

**I vaguely wondered how someone could get over something like that - your husband getting sucked up a chimney. Seriously, what kind of explanation would satisfy this woman?**

**When Sam and Dean got back in the car I asked, "Find anything?"**

"**Stockings, mistletoe, this." Sam showed us a tooth.**

"**Ew. Where'd you find it?"**

"**The chimney."**

"**Okay," Dean said. "So if dad went up the chimney…"**

"**We need to find out what dragged him up there."**

"**Well, he obviously didn't fit up there in one piece."**

"**Yeah," I agreed. "So…uh…what're we dealing with? Evil Santa?"**

"**Evil Santa?" Dean grinned. "Really?"**

"**What? I heard about it on Buffy. That Santa's real, but instead of leaving behind presents, he leaves behind disemboweled children."**

**Dean chuckled a few times. "I swear, the things you two come up with." He paused, though, considering. Then he turned to Sam. "Does she have a point?"**

"**I don't know, we'll check."**

"**Check on what?" I asked. "Dick Van Dyke?"**

**Sam laughed, but Dean just said, "Who?"**

"**Mary Poppins…?" Sam trailed off and when he got no response from Dean, he said, "Never mind."**

* * *

"**Okay, so here's what we know," Sam said, three hours later. Yes, we'd been researching that long. "Aly's evil Santa theory might not have been too far off. Only it's not evil Santa, that's not the name. But it's gonna sound crazy."**

"**What could you possibly say that sounds crazy to me?" Dean said.**

"**Um…the anti-Claus. There's a version of it in every culture. You got Belsnickel, Krampus, Black Peter. Whatever you wanna call it, there's all sorts of lore. Saying, back in the day, Santa's brother went rogue. He shows up around Christmas time, but instead of leaving presents he punishes the wicked."**

"**By hauling their ass up chimney's?" Dean asked skeptically.**

"**For starters, yeah."**

"**So, this is your theory. Santa's shady brother?" Dean shook his head. "Santa doesn't have a brother. There is no Santa."**

"**Yeah, I know. You're the one who told me that in the first place, remember?"**

"**You believed in Santa?" I asked, holding back a giggle.**

"**You didn't?"**

"**No. I did not believe in flying reindeer and fat, jolly guys coming down chimney's."**

"**Anyway," Dean said, probably not wanting the animosity to flare up between Sam and me again, "I did some digging while you guys were here researching. Both victims visited the same place before they got snatched."**

"**Where?"**

"**A place called Santa's Village."**

* * *

**Santa's Village turned out to be this run down little place in the middle of nowhere. You had your regular nativity scenes, your Christmas elves - were elves even real? - and rugrats running around. Plus a not so jolly Santa asking the kids what they wanted for Christmas.**

**Speaking of Christmas…Dean wanted to have one.**

"**Dean, those weren't exactly Hallmark memories for me, ya know?" Sam said.**

"**Oh, come on, Sam."**

"**No, just - no," Sam said. Sam looked like he really hoped Dean would drop it.**

**I didn't care one way or the other what they did. It wasn't like I was all Bah-humbug about Christmas, it just wasn't that important to me. Just another day.**

"**A'right, Grinch," Dean said, walking off.**

**I noticed Sam was staring at a plastic reindeer that was cross-eyed. Ugh!**

"**Stop looking at that thing. It's disturbing."**

**Sam snapped out of it and grinned a little. "We're looking for Santa's evil brother, and the _reindeer_ is disturbing? There is something seriously wrong with you."**

"**Don't I know it."**

**Sam and I caught up with Dean and we began searching for someone who walked with a limp and smelled like sweets.**

"**Why the sweets?"**

"**Think about it. If you smell like candy, the kids will come closer, ya know?"**

"**That's creepy," Dean said.**

"**Yeah," I agreed. Then since we were in Santa's Village anyway… "You know what else draws kids in? Someone who _looks_ like Santa."**

**I pointed to where _Santa_ was sitting and Sam and Dean just kind of 'hm'ed.**

"**How does this thing know who's been naughty and who's been nice?" Dean wondered out loud.**

"**He makes a list and checks it twice," I said, which earned a grin from Sam and a blank stare from Dean. "You know…the song…?"**

**Dean shook his head and something inside me began to ache. Dean had known nothing of a normal childhood. No lame Christmas movies or lame Christmas songs. No family gatherings. No exchanging of gifts. Nothing. And he wanted one - just _one_ - before he had to…go away.**

**I absentmindedly grabbed my chest since that was what was hurting and I grunted in pain. Was your chest actually supposed to hurt, physically, when a piece of your heart breaks?**

"**Aly?" both guys said and reached for me. Yes, Sam wasn't too fond of me at the moment, but he still cared.**

"**I'm okay. Um…I'm okay." I focused on breathing deeply. "I'm gonna go -" I broke off when _Santa_ got up and began walking…with a limp. But I couldn't feel anything coming from him. Maybe he was a regular guy that had arthritis? Or he was a shape shifter of some kind. I couldn't feel shape shifters.**

**When the guy walked by I noticed he smelled like candy, which didn't prove anything except that he had a sweet tooth, but it was still suspicious.**

"**We should follow him," Sam said. "Do you want one of us to take you back to the hotel?"**

"**No, thanks. I'm okay now. This new feeling everyone's emotions thing is a bitch. I'm gonna go wait in the car while you guys get the employee records, find out where that guy lives."**

"**Uh, Sam?"**

**Dean was looking at me, worried, and Sam got it. He gestured for Dean and me to go on ahead. Dean began leading me towards the Impala, one arm behind me, but not really touching me.**

"**It's getting worse, isn't it?" Dean asked. "Whatever's wrong with you is getting worse."**

**I shook my head, relieved that I didn't have to say yes. "No, I was telling the truth. It's just all these emotions on top of mine. It hurts, it's hard."**

**When we got to the car we both got in the front seat. I faced him because I wanted to talk about something serious.**

"**I know why you want to have Christmas this year. I get it. I'll talk to Sam about it. I know heart-to-heart's aren't you area of expertise."**

**Dean grinned sadly, almost bitterly. "Do you think it's stupid? The whole Christmas thing?"**

"**No. You never had that. It's normal to want it." I moved closer and put my head on his shoulder, blurring the friendship line big time. "Can I give you an early Christmas present?"**

"**You bought me something?"**

**I sat up and shook my head. "No, this isn't the kind of gift you buy."**

**I moved forward just enough to press my lips to his cheek. He jerked a little, but he didn't reject what I was offering. When I looked at him, I saw he was confused and a little leery; he didn't understand what I was doing.**

"**Don't move," I whispered.**

**I pressed my lips firmly to his for just a brief second, but I heard his breathing hitch.**

"**I forgive you," I said softly, stroking his cheek gently once.**

"**What?"**

"**The deal you made." I looked straight in his beautiful green eyes. "I forgive you."**

**I nestled against him then and looked out the window. I didn't think I could say what I needed to say if I was looking at him, or if I was looking at him looking at me. I could still feel his eyes on me, though. It made my heart race nervously.**

"**For the longest time I was so…angry at you. Righteously angry, might I add. But I'm not anymore. Mostly I'm…scared and sad. Scared because for almost two years you and I have been inseperable, ya know? It was never just a you thing or a me thing. We were us, Dean and Aly. We were together. And we won't be anymore. And I'm gonna have to figure out who I am again…who I am without you, and I don't know how to do that. Sad because…it's finally sinking in that I _am_ going to lose you. I've been avoiding that fact for a while now, but I can't anymore.**

"**It's funny because until I started reading people's minds and feeling their feelings I didn't know what I felt. I couldn't figure it out to save my life. But now I know."**

**My voice began to shake with things I'd held inside for so long. They needed to be said now.**

"**I love you. I know you know that. And I know that even if I had known what would happen I would still be here right now. I wouldn't have changed my feelings for you. I still would've chosen to love you. Because some people…they go through life never knowing what that feels like and I'm glad that I did. I'm glad that I do."**

**Dean was silent for about thirty seconds and so I looked up at him and I cupped his face again.**

"**You told me once that our lives are unpredictable, you never know when one of us is gonna…ya know? And I just needed you to know that I don't regret you, anything I've done or felt for you…in case something happened to me, I just needed you to know that."**

**He wasn't silent for as long this time and he grinned genuinely. "Wow, that's actually a moderately healthy attitude."**

"**I try," I smiled, going with the flow of the conversation. This part was easier. "I don't think I like me when I'm unbalanced."**

"**Second it," Dean said. "You're scary when you're unbalanced."**

"**Yes, I am."**

* * *

**Sam came back with the address and all we could do now was wait for nightfall. I was about seventy percent sure this wasn't our guy, but we still needed to check.**

**While we were waiting for the right time to go, we all noticed something…it wasn't that cold outside, and we were in Michigan. Michigan in December was usually freezing, wasn't it. So something was definitely up.**

**That night was a bust. The Santa guy was just an alcoholic who was very into porn. Ew.**

**Dean, Sam, and I had to sing _Silent Night_ to get out of that one. I was still laughing about it when we got back to the car. Now we were back to square one, though. Plus, while we were stalking Santa, someone else got pulled up a chimney. So far it had only been guys who had been killed, so I figured I would be safe.**

**The next morning found us at the latest victim's house. I hadn't been going to go, but Dean said I needed to practice blocking emotions just like I'd learned to block most thoughts. It might hurt me if I didn't.**

**The woman we were talking to had a bruise near her temple where she'd been attacked the night before. Her son wasn't with her, but he had been the one to witness what had happened. Supposedly Santa had pulled Daddy up the chimney.**

"**Where were you during all this?" Sam asked.**

"**I was asleep. All of a sudden Al was being dragged out of bed, screaming. It was dark, he hit me, the attacker. He knocked me out."**

**I was trying to see into her thoughts to see if I could find anything that might have seemed small to her, but could actually be integral, but there was nothing there. I wasn't getting anything at all from her, it was like she was completely closed off. She wasn't letting herself feel, maybe?**

**Then Sam asked about a wreath of all things. A wreath? We were talking to a grieving woman and Sam wanted to know about a wreath?**

**Dean had pretty much the same reaction, but we got the address of the place the woman had gotten it and we left.**

"**Wreathes, huh? You sure you didn't wanna ask about her shoes?"**

"**We've seen that wreath before, Dean. The Walsh's, yesterday."**

**We walked a few more steps before Dean said, "I know. I was just testing you."**

"**Yeah, that's it," I said, hiding a smile. "Anyway…what's special about the wreath?"**

"**I'm not sure yet," Sam said. "But it can't be coincidence."**

"**Hm, no, probably not. Call Bobby, maybe? He can research that while we take care of the creature-feature part. Know of any demons that like plants? Or Christmas, period?"**

"**Not off the top of my head."**

* * *

**Two hours later, after talking to Bobby, we found out we weren't dealing with the anti-Claus, and that we were morons. Bobby's affectionate words there.**

"**He also said that it was probably meadowsweet in those wreathes."**

"**Wow. Amazing," Dean said. "What the hell is meadowsweet?"**

"**It's pretty rare and it's the most powerful plant in Pagan lore."**

"**Pagan lore?"**

"**They'd use meadowsweet for human sacrifices. It was kind of like a chum for their gods. Gods were drawn to it, they'd stop by and snack on the nearest human."**

"**Why would somebody be using that for Christmas wreathes?" Dean asked.**

"**Because originally it was a Pagan holiday," I said.**

"**Christmas is Jesus' birthday."**

"**No, Jesus' birthday was probably in the fall," Sam said. "It was the winter solstice festival that was co-opted by the church and renamed Christmas. The Yule log, Santa's red suit, that's all remnants of Pagan worship."**

"**How do you know that?" Dean asked incredulously.**

**I bit my lip, hoping I wasn't going to cause an argument. "Actually, I think He was born in the spring. Baby lamb and all that. And two, Dean, you believe in Jesus, but you don't believe in God?"**

"**Jesus was real."**

**I smirked a little. "How do you know? Have you seen Him?"**

**Using his logic against him was evil, but I didn't care.**

"**Sure, in pictures and stuff. Can we talk about something else?"**

"**Sure. What are we dealing with?" After I'd made my point, I was more than happy to move on.**

"**Probably Holdnacar, god of the winter solstice," Sam said.**

**I looked at Dean to see if he knew what Sam was talking about, because I sure didn't, and saw a look of realization on his face.**

"**And all these Martha Stewart wannabes buying these fancy wreathes…"**

"**Yeah, it's pretty much like putting a big neon sign on your front door that says 'come kill us'. And when you sacrifice to Holdnacar guess what it gives you."**

"**Lap dances, hopefully," Dean said.**

"**Mild weather."**

"**Kind of like no snow in the middle of winter in Michigan?" Dean pondered. "Do we know how to kill it yet?"**

"**No, Bobby's working on that right now. _We_ need to go talk to the guys who sells these wreathes."**

"**Do you think they're sellin' them on purpose? Feeding the victims to this thing?"**

"**I dunno, we'll find out."**

**I raised my hand slightly. "If they are, who do we go after? The god or the human? I mean, if we just take out the god then the human could just summon another one, right?"**

**Dean looked at Sam and then at me. "One problem at a time, Aly."**

* * *

**We ended up at the quaint little Christmas shop; it was a little overly decorated, but to each their own, I guess. Dean made Sam tell the owner guy about the wreath, for entertainment purposes only I was sure.**

"**I sell a lot of wreathes, guys."**

"**Right, but you see, this one would have been really special," Sam said. "It had green leaves and white buds on it. Might've been made of meadowsweet."**

"**Well, aren't you a fussy one?"**

**I looked down at the floor to hide my grin.**

"**Anyway, I know the one you're talkin' about. I'm all out."**

"**Where'd you get 'em?" Dean asked.**

"**Madge Carrigan, a local lady. Said they were so special, she gave them to me for free."**

"**She didn't charge you?"**

"**Nope."**

"**Did you sell 'em for free?"**

"**Hell no, it's Christmas, people pay a butt-load for this crap."**

"**That's the spirit," Dean quipped.**

**We found out where this Madge lady lived and we felt.**

"**How much do you think a meadowsweet wreath would cost?" Dean asked.**

"**Couple hundred dollars, at least."**

"**And this lady's giving them away for free? What d'you think about that?"**

"**It's weird," I said. "And I'm hungry."**

**Dean grinned. "Wow, way to change the subject there, Aly."**

**I shrugged a little. "What? I am."**

"**We'll stop and get something, okay?"**

**I nodded. "I want pizza. Extra cheese."**

**At the pizza place Dean went in to order, leaving Sam and me in the car. Now seemed as good a time as any to bring up the conversation I'd told Dean I'd have with Sam.**

**I scooted forward, the better to talk to him. "Hey, Sam?"**

"**Hm?"**

"**Why are you so against Christmas?"**

**He shrugged. "It's not like I _hate_ it. I just don't wanna celebrate it."**

"**Right, but why?"**

"**Because…I can't." Sam looked at me, eyes shining. "I can't just sit there with Dean, celebrating like everything's all right when I know that next year…"**

"**Next year he'll be dead," I said, comprehending the problem.**

**And once again I was put in the middle. I understood where both of them were coming from. And I didn't want to have to choose sides because then one of them would be upset that I chose the other.**

"**Okay, well…I'm not telling you what to do, but…think about Dean in this, okay? He wants this because he'll never be able to have it again. And…I don't know what Hell's like, but eternal torment can't be good, so we should be giving him as many happy memories as we can. You know?"**

**Sam looked away, but I could tell that what I had said had affected him at least a little.**

"**Just think about it, okay?"**

"**Yeah," he said softly.**

**I sat back and was quiet. I wanted Sam to be able to get control of himself before Dean got back. I was almost sorry I'd brought it up, _almost_. But at least now I knew.**

* * *

**Okay, so...what do you think? I liked the scene about the forgiveness thing. I thought Aly was at a healthy enough place to give that to him genuinely. She wouldn't just be saying it to say it, not just saying it because he needed to hear it, but because she actually meant it.**

**As always, reviews are appreciated. Love you guys, and thanks for those of you who are sticking with me through all this. That's appreciated even more!**


	25. A Very Supernatural Christmas Pt Two

**Okay, so another long wait for an update. This one is not my fault though because my computer is on the fritz still and whenever I try to get on it says 'cannot connect to server' or 'cannot find modem'. It's nerve wracking.**

**Anyway, hope you enjoy.**

**A Very Supernatural Christmas  
Part Two**

**The next morning Sam and Dean came to my room because they had gone to the Carrigan's to ask about the wreaths. Ever since Dean had read that book about my _condition_ he'd opted to let me stay asleep when I was sleeping over interrupting my rest. Lack of sleep could cause me to get worse.**

**So now they were filling me in on what they called the creepy odd couple.**

"**She says 'fudge' instead of -" Dean started.**

"**She's an old lady," I interrupted. "She shouldn't be saying what you were going to say."**

**Sam was using my laptop to…do something - research the Carrigan's or whatnot because, obviously they made a bad impression or something. Dean was whittling a wooden stake - Bobby had called to tell us that was how you killed a Pagan god; stake to the heart. But it had to be from an evergreen tree.**

"**I knew it. Somethin' was way off with those two," Sam said, clapping his hands together.**

"**What'd you find?"**

"**The Carrigan's lived in Seattle last year where two abductions took place right around Christmas. They moved here in January. All that Christmas crap in their house, that wasn't boughs of holly, it was vervain and mint."**

"**Pagan stuff?" Dean and I asked.**

"**Serious Pagan stuff."**

"**So, what, Ozzie and Harriet are keeping a Pagan god hidden underneath their plastic covered couch?"**

"**I don't know," Sam said. "All I know is we've gotta check 'em out."**

"**What about Bobby? He's _sure_ evergreen stakes will kill this thing, right?"**

"**Yeah, he's sure."**

"**So, what's the plan?" I asked.**

"**We go back tonight," Dean said and then looked at me sternly. "You're coming with us, but you're staying in the car."**

"**But -"**

"**Unless we need you," he said. "Gods are powerful, we have no idea how your body will react to it."**

**I sighed, knowing he was right. "Okay, but I'm giving you fifteen minutes and then I'm coming in."**

"**Okay. Agreed."**

* * *

**For the majority of the day Dean was making stakes, Sam was researching, and I was thinking about our Pagan god - or gods in general. Where did they get off thinking human sacrifice was okay? And more importantly…why would someone worship something like that, something that said 'sure, I'll do this for you. All you have to do is find me a few people to eat.'**

**When the time came to finally go to the Carrigan's house I was feeling restless like I normally did when I had to wait for something I didn't want to wait for. So as I was waiting in the car my right leg kept bouncing up and down - it was shaking the whole vehicle.**

**It wasn't late, but it was dark enough to break in. Maybe, _hopefully_, since the Carrigan's were older they were in bed already.**

**I watched Dean used the lock pick on the door and wished them a silent good luck after they went into the house. I waited, fiddled with the radio, then waited some more. I saw movement in the house and from the frame I knew it was Sam.**

**Suddenly the Christmas lights in the front yard came on. Snowman, reindeer, Santa, whole nine yards. The lights weren't important, though. What was important was that fact that neither Dean nor Sam would've turned the lights on. That meant the Carrigan's were out of bed.**

**So Sam and Dean were stuck in the house with two psychopaths who worshipped a god who ate people. Awesome.**

**I sighed and looked at my watch; it was barely after eight, so I'd give them a few minutes and then I'd go and help if they needed it.**

**Dean had parked at the edge of their street, but the house was still very visible and nothing seemed to be amiss except for the fact that Sam and Dean were still in the house. I didn't think much of it until I heard a faint male scream. That was all it took for me to get out of the car with a stake in my jacket.**

**I hadn't taken ten steps before I felt something - the god, maybe - and had to stop for a second and assess the situation. I hadn't fallen down this time, but I hadn't felt something this strong since the Trickster, and we'd only _thought_ we'd beaten him.**

**I got to the house and snuck around the back even though I was fairly certain whatever I was sensing could sense me too. There was someone at the front door of the Carrigan's house so it was easy to get around to the back. Through the kitchen window I could see Sam and Dean tied to two chairs. I couldn't see Dean's face, but Sam looked like he was in pain.**

**I didn't waste time in unlocking the back door and getting them free. There was a nice sharp knife right there on the table for me to use. Both Sam and Dean had angry looking cuts on their arms and Sam had a fingernail missing.**

"**How did this happen?" I whispered as they led me out of the room. They knew the layout of the house better so I willingly followed.**

"**Mr. and Mrs. God," Sam explained. "The Carrigan's are the gods."**

"**Yeah. I knew there was something wrong with those two," Dean said. "Now what do we do? Our stakes are in the basement."**

"**I've got one," I said, handing it over.**

**We had locked the Carrigan's in the kitchen and they were holed up pretty good so Sam and Dean went for the Christmas tree in the living room, which just so happened to be an evergreen. They had two branches torn off in no time. Which was great because the two Carrigan's came in right around that time. The woman actually complained about her tree. I noticed her face flashed a little, distorted into this gray thing and it shocked me so much I couldn't move for a second.**

**Did all Pagan gods look that way? How the hell did they bring in followers when they looked like that?**

**The lady god knocked me to the ground and was suddenly choking me. Choking me hard enough to block all passages for air, so my mind immediately panicked. _I couldn't breathe_! But then suddenly I could again because Dean had staked the lady in the heart and she'd automatically let me go. I pushed her off, out of breath, and Dean helped me up.**

"**Whoo!" I rubbed my neck until the soreness went away.**

**The other one had been taken care of already and they were both on the floor, dead, gushing blood from their chests.**

"**That chick had major grip."**

**I quickly healed Sam's and Dean's arms, though I couldn't do anything about Sam's missing fingernail. I wondered if it would get infected.**

"**What do we do with them?" I asked, gesturing to the Carrigan's. "If we leave them here someone will find them and then they'd look for prints and all. Plus your blood is everywhere."**

"**We'll come back later tonight, grab them, bury them," Dean said.**

* * *

**We got a few hours sleep, did as Dean suggested with the Carrigan's, and then we were off to Bobby's. My suggestion. We would get there by mid-afternoon if my calculations were correct. I dozed off and on in the backseat for a while because Dean didn't have the radio on often because there was only Christmas music playing - one can't jam to Christmas music.**

**We all three took turns driving and every couple hours we would switch. My sense of direction had greatly improved since I'd been on the road with Sam and Dean. We arrived at Bobby's Christmas morning and I could tell Dean was a little bummed out that we hadn't celebrated. That was until we walked in and Bobby's living room had a Christmas tree in it. Dean just kind of froze for a second, taking everything in. There were even a few Christmas-y things around the room, and the lights on the tree were blinking on and off.**

**I looked at Sam and we smiled at each other. We had planned this. We had wrangled Bobby into participating - I'd pretty much told him the truth, that Dean wanted to celebrate Christmas and we needed to for him. Bobby hadn't needed much convincing. He said he had the stuff to decorate with and then I'd told Dean I wanted to go to Bobby's and here we were.**

**It was well worth it to make Dean happy.**

**We had to endure holiday music for the sake of being in the Christmas spirit. Sam, Dean, and Bobby had a few shots of tequila and I had a beer. I no longer thought of myself as bad just because I drank a little.**

**Sam and Dean exchanged gifts - Sam gave Dean some kind of fluid for the car and food; something he could use. Dean gave Sam shaving cream and a dirty magazine - maybe Dean was hinting that Sam needed to get laid.**

**I got Sam an ancient Latin book - I thought it was funny because while he could read Latin, he'd still have to translate; he'd appreciate the brain work. Bobby got a ceremonial dagger - pretty but also usable. Dean got a gift card for the nearest auto shop. He'd been meaning to tune up his car anyway.**

**Sam and Dean had gotten together some time ago and had a charm made that had their birthstones on it so I could add to the collection on my bracelet. They were both round - one a purple garnet, the other a green emerald.**

"**You guys…" I shook my wrist and let the charms jingle merrily. "They're so pretty. Thank you."**

**Bobby gave me something that I was sure would come in handy in the future. A harness strap thing for my calf. It could hold either a gun or a knife and I was happy with it.**

**Then came eggnog. I think I got one with rum in it because my head began to feel funny after the second cup. It was a good kind of funny, but still…**

**We stayed up late, enjoying ourselves, but I noticed neither Sam nor Dean would talk about the big elephant in the room.**

* * *

**That night I dreamed I was flying, which was weird in and of itself because I hated flying with a fiery passion.**

**_It was nighttime and I could see the big white orb that was the moon and then I sensed I wasn't alone. I was with three other things. They had wings and I noticed that was the only thing that I could make out clearly. Their bodies were surrounded by wings of almost blinding light._**

_**I spread my arms out, trying to touch, to feel that light. I longed for it, it seemed. There was so much darkness in my life, I just wanted the light back. For some reason I felt that the light was my home and I wanted to go. I would be safe and warm and loved there. And I would be done, at peace. I would be finished.**_

_**But then, right when I almost had the light in my grasp, I began freefalling towards the ground. I felt like I was plummeting to my death and I screamed.**_

**I woke up on the floor of my room at Bobby's. I jumped when Dean came rushing into the room, gun at the ready in his boxers. His eyes took a brief look around before they settled on me.**

**Then…I burst out laughing. I tried to cover my mouth to keep from getting too excited, but I couldn't help the giggles that spewed forth. A panicked Dean in boxers and a gun - couldn't get more comical than that for me.**

"**What happened? You screamed for help."**

**I had?**

"**Oh, uh…I was dreaming. It was just a dream."**

"**Some dream," Dean muttered relaxing. "How'd you get on the floor?"**

"**I fell," I said, calming down. "Um…I guess that's why I dreamed what I did. I was flying by myself, no plane or anything. And then I was falling out of the sky."**

"**Huh. Hope you had a parachute."**

"**I didn't. I think - I think I had wings, though."**

"**Okay," Dean said, drawing the word out. "No more eggnog and rum for you."**

**I smiled. "Yeah, I guess not."**

**Then I became aware of a pounding ache in my head. "Ow." And then came the need to vomit. Obviously I headed to the bathroom, swallowing convulsively all the while. I made it.**

**Dean helped me keep my hair out of the way and he rubbed my back soothingly.**

"**Definitely no more rum for me," I said after I was done.**

**I washed my mouth out with mouthwash and went back to bed and Dean stayed with me. I hadn't asked, it had just been an unspoken agreement; I felt bad so he stayed. Too bad the flying dream wasn't the only one I had.**

* * *

**_I was being chased through the rain up a mountain. It was windy. I didn't know how I knew I was being chased, I just knew I was. And I knew that if whoever it was caught up to me, I would be killed._**

_**I was on a horse, going as fast as I could get the animal to go, and it was killing the horse. I didn't know how to ride a horse so I knew I wasn't me, though I felt like I was the one riding the horse.**_

_**I was holding something against my middle - I knew it was a box and I knew I'd stolen it. It bruised me as I rode on. I was aware enough to know this was more than a dream even though I **_**was****_ dreaming it. It felt real, though, like a memory. Maybe not my own._**

_**The road was perilous, with all kinds of twists and turns, and luckily the horse knew instinctively to go where the road led us. I was tired and scared and I could sense the horse was too, but it stayed sharp, it kept going. It kept away from the edge on its own, thankfully.**_

_**It began to storm, making everything more ominous and frightening and that was when I realized I had a knife at my side. I looked behind me and saw two people on horses behind me. I knew they were the ones that wanted me dead and I wouldn't let that happen. They wanted what was in the box. I knew that too. Just like I knew they couldn't have it. The fate of the world depended on it. My horse and I made it to a bridge, old and wooden. I knew it would be a mistake to try and cross it, but I couldn't **_**not****_ cross it because it wasn't me controlling my actions. The pieces of wood for the bridge were thinly cut and barely held together, but I needed to get to the other side. I wanted to trap the two following me and make them fall._**

_**In the storm I couldn't see the other side, but I went across anyway. Or the person I was at the moment did. I wouldn't have just for the simple fact that the bridge probably wasn't strong enough to hold. And the two men were smart enough not to follow.**_

_**I looked down and was comforted by the fact that if the bridge collapsed . . .there was water below me. Though I didn't know how deep it was or how fast the current would be. And whoever I was, I had foolishly taken the horse with me. I was waiting for the bridge to fall or something. Maybe for the horse to topple over. And sure enough, that exact thing happened. The horse lost its balance and I had to hop off and then I began traveling to the other side. I was going to leave the horse behind. And then. . .I was going to cut the bridge so no one else could cross it. But I had to stop because now **_**I****_ was trapped. There were people on both ends of the bridge._**

_**On one side were the two men on horseback, on the other side was just one man and this one had a gun - a revolver. This man was tall and cruel looking. I sensed he didn't want to have to hurt me, though. He just wanted what I had stolen…maybe from him? But I couldn't give it to him. I'd rather die - or whoever I was would've rather died - and so I cut the rope on either side of me and my horse and I both dropped into the water.**_

_**I knew I was going to drown as I went under the freezing water, but I made it to the surface again, choking. I grabbed for a tree branch as I passed because I needed to stay afloat, but then I hit a rock and my head began pounding. I began sinking and held my breath until I couldn't anymore.**_

_**I didn't resurface.**_

**I woke up normally - no falling out of bed in sight - and Dean was still asleep. I wasn't going to wake him up just to tell him about my dream, not when I didn't even know what it meant. It could've been nothing, but just in case it wasn't I decided to write it in the journal my dad had given me.**

**Then I went downstairs and asked Sam, who was already up, if he'd help me look up boxes from the late 1800's or early 1900's, wooden and carved intricately. Probably lost in a mountainous region somewhere.**

"**Mountainous region? That's vague."**

"**Well, it's not like I got all the details. It was a dream, but it felt like a . . .memory."**

"**Like the ghost thing with the little girl?"**

"**Maybe, except this felt personal. Like I said, like a memory."**

"**We can try. But it's not much to go on, Aly."**

"**I know. But these things usually come every time I'm asleep. Or that's how it was last time, ya know?"**

"**So we'll learn more soon. Got it."**

* * *

**Soon happened to be that night. _I dreamed I was in some type of antique collection room. I was standing in front of a glass display case. There was light coming from a candle I was holding and I saw my own reflection in the glass._**

**My_ reflection. My eyes, my face, my body. My hair was longer in the dream. I was. . .myself?_**

_**There was a crash to my right and the door fell in on its hinges. There were two people there, a man and a woman, both were demons. The black eyes gave them away. I threw my hand up and the guy flew into a bookcase. I was sure if the demon hadn't been in the guy, the throw would've killed him.**_

_**The girl came and I threw her back too. Then, somehow, I made the fire from the candle engulf the two demons in flames. I grabbed a thick metal rod from the display case and began to flee, listening to their agony as I went.**_

**I awoke feeling a little drained. Dreams were exhausting. And I remembered the most important part: I'd been dreaming about myself. Or someone who looked like me. I didn't know what I should do, whether I should tell Sam and Dean because we didn't have much else to go on. But I thought I knew someone who could shed some light on the subject.**

**After making sure Bobby, Sam, and Dean, were still asleep I went downstairs and went outside. I went to the garage and sat down on a tool box and breathed deeply. I was so going to regret this.**

"**Okay. . .I feel like an idiot doing this, but. . .if you're there Mr. Trickster guy. . .please come. You said you've been watching me, so that probably means you know what's going on. Help me?"**

**The feeling of unbelievable power came upon me and I was glad I was sitting down. And I'd been right; the Trickster was watching me.**

"**You know, the last time you asked for my help was over a hundred years ago. But then again, you do _have_ a long memory."**

"**You mean I have a lot to remember," I corrected with a sort of hopeful tone in my voice.**

"**That too." The Trickster, the same one who had tried to get me back on track, smirked.**

"**I'm guessing the dreams weren't so much about the thing I stole, but the fact that _I_ am the one who stole it."**

"**Yes. Got it in one."**

"**So. . .What? I was a thief in another life?"**

**I wasn't understanding anything - had I been reincarnated or something? I guess that would be the word, right?**

"**You've lived many lives. Different names, same body, same face."**

"**How? You mean I just live the same life over and over? I die and I come back?"**

"**When you're needed."**

"**Why?"**

"**Someone once told you that if ever the world needed a source of goodness it was now. It is and has been before. The Civil War, the Revolutionary War. You're born during times of crisis. And there's a crisis gong on now. Here you are."**

**_Here I am_. Talking to a Trickster. How did I know I could trust him? How did I know he was telling the truth? Was I just supposed to take it on faith?"**

**What was I supposed to do with this information, assuming it was the truth? I'd lived before, many times apparently.**

"**Will I remember everything?"**

**I was seated on the toolbox still, not feeling vulnerable enough yet to stand.**

"**No. This was a wake-up call. You need to know these things this time around."**

"**Hm. If I asked how you knew this would you tell me?"**

"**No," he answered honestly. "You'll find out eventually."**

"**Hm." I stood up now, but I still didn't feel vulnerable. "Not that I don't appreciate it, but why are you helping me?"**

"**I've helped you before, why should I not now?"**

"**I don't know. I was just surprised, that's all. I didn't take you for a champion of the people."**

"**Shows how much you know," he said simply.**

**I didn't know what that meant, so I didn't dwell on it. "I don't know what to do with this information."**

**The Trickster's brow furrowed. "You should probably tell Dumb and Dumber."**

**I smiled softly. "Terribly witty."**

"**I thought it was."**

"**Thank you for coming when I called."**

**I was being completely serious and sincere. I hadn't been sure that it would work, but it had.**

"**Don't make a habit of it. I have things to do, people to -"**

"**Kill?" I asked.**

"**Humiliate," he corrected. "And don't judge, Missy, it's not for you to do."**

"**Hm. . .and you picking and choosing between humans, that has nothing to do with judging?"**

"**No! It has to do with teaching a lesson to the people who think the world owes them something."**

**The Trickster then disappeared and I shook my head, wondering why I'd called on him in the first place. Something told me that if anything. . .at least I could trust him. At least with this, he had no reason to lie or play tricks.**

**I went back inside and went to my room. Once there, I noticed a hardback book on the pillow that hadn't been there before. On a post-it note there was written _You can thank me later_ with a smiley face drawn on it. _P.S. No tricks_.**

**I scoffed and opened the book hesitantly - for all I know it could pull a Harry Potter and pull me inside it. The chapters went by years - there were a few chapters that even had B.C. behind the numbers. Before Christ? No way. That had to mean something else in this book. Who'd written it anyway?**

**Murphy. Jim Murphy. Pastor Jim? The one who had told my dad about demons and the like? What, had his whole family known about me? They'd been keeping up with me? I was comforted by the fact that the title was _Journal of Jim Murphy_. It was handwritten, not published. But as I began reading I realized it was history of me. He'd been studying me before he'd died, been killed. And the Trickster had been telling me the truth: I seemed to be around during times of crisis. Not just in America, all over the world for different reasons.**

**Apparently I hadn't been careful enough when I'd helped people because there had been countless witness over the millenniums about a strange, pretty girl healing the wounded in wars or helping turn the war to someone's favor.**

**I shook my head - this couldn't be right, not for real. I couldn't have lived over and over and not know about it. That wasn't possible. And if it was. . .what was I supposed to tell Sam and Dean? This was _huge_, so I couldn't not tell them, but what would they think? How would they react. I myself was in a state of disbelief, because this just couldn't be true. People didn't get to live more than one life. So I would hold off on telling the guys until I could make sense of everything.**

* * *

**Okay, so I promise I'm going somewhere with the whole 'she lives over and over' thing. It will make sense when I'm done with this arc of her story. I kinda hate that I'm making her keep things from the guys but I don't think this is something they could just take in stride, so...she needs to know more first. Oh, and the reason I added in Bobby was because I thought he was missing from that episode since he is kind of like a father to the guys. Hope you enjoyed and as always review if you want to let me know what you think.**

**P.S. I've been writing and I'll update when the computer decides to let me. LOL (I hate technology, but it's a necessary evil)**


	26. Explanation

Okay, so I know I haven't updated in a while, and I also know I'm not supposed to just have author notes on here, but I owe everyone who's been waiting an apology. Most of it is not my fault, however. I have been writing, but I haven't had a computer. I know the last time I updated anything was around November of last year so I'm going to give you guys a summary of my life since then.

1) My cousin who was recently married and had to move came to visit so I didn't write while she was here.

2) My other cousin moved in from December to January and again I didn't write much while she was living with me.

3) My mom had two surgeries - she's fine but still.

4) Then here is the main reason for the long delay. First, you all know my computer hates me, I've told you guys that over and over. But I got on one day and EVERYTHING was gone. My chapters for my stories, my icons on the desktop, everything. Then it wouldn't even go to the desktop. And then it wouldn't come on at all. Anyway, it's fixed for now and I'll be updating soon, probably within a week, I just have to type something up.

Anyway, I had emails about when I was going to update, so hopefully this clears things up. And I am so sorry you guys. Please don't hate me.


	27. Malleus Maleficarum

**Okay, I'm not too happy with this chapter mostly because I'm having trouble with Alyson now that she's changing, but she can't stay the same with everything going on, so . . . I'm trying to transition my mind set into her mind set so I can write better.**

**Enjoy!**

**Malleus Maleficarum  
**

**We stayed with Bobby until after New Years but then we found a case where a seemingly healthy young woman's teeth fell out and she'd died a mysterious death. The coroner didn't know the cause. So we were in Sturbridge, Massachusetts now talking to the man who had been with her at the time. His name was Paul.**

"**She was so scared. I couldn't help; I couldn't do anything to stop it. And I've talked to the police and I've talked to the medical examiner. No one can explain it."**

"**Well, that's why they put the call in to us, Mr. Dutton," Dean said.**

"**But the CDC, that's disease control, right? What, do you think it's some kind of virus?"**

"**We're not ruling out anything yet, Mr. Dutton. Did Janet have any enemies?"**

"**I'm sorry?"**

"**Anyone that might have a reason to hurt her?"**

"**Wait. What - what are you saying, that somebody poisoned her?"**

"**We have to cover every base here."**

"**Yes, people's teeth don't just start falling out on their own like that," I said.**

"**But, I mean, what kind of poison? You think a person could've done this?"**

"**Would anyone want to?"**

"**No. No, there's no one that could've . . ." Paul trailed off like he'd just remembered something, but he didn't start talking again.**

"**Mr. Dutton?"**

"**Uh, everyone loved Janet."**

"**Okay," Dean said, but I could tell he didn't believe the guy. "I think we have everything we need. We'll get out of your way now."**

**Sam, who had been in the bathroom checking things out, came out when Dean said we were leaving. The reason Sam had been in there was because that had been where the girl had died. She and Paul had been at a party, they'd come home, and then when Janet had went to brush her teeth the terror had begun.**

"**Did that guy seem evasive to you?" Dean asked.**

"**Yes," I answered.**

"**I don't know. I was under a sink pulling this out." Sam showed us an orange-ish brown bag. "Hex bag."**

"**Hex bag?" I asked. "Witches?"**

"**Yeah."**

"**Bird bones, rabbit teeth, this cloth was probably cut from something Janet Dutton owned. This is old world black magic. I mean, warts and all."**

**We made it to the car as it started to rain and Dean said, "I hate witches. They're always spewing their bodily fluids everywhere. It's creepy. You know, it's downright unsanitary."**

"**Yeah, well, someone definitely had it out for Janet Dutton."**

"**Yeah, someone who snuck into that house and planted that bag."**

"**So someone she knew? Or someone she thought she knew?" I asked.**

"**Could be. But it's gonna be hard finding them because it could be anybody," Dean said.**

"**So . . . We should start looking for a motive," Sam said. "We find the motive, we find the killer."**

"**And we have to keep watch over Paul. He's hiding something."**

* * *

**Watching this Paul guy was almost as fun as watching paint dry. A few people came by, probably to see if the poor guy was okay. He left the house around six that night, stopped for gas, went to the store, and stopped at a drive through to get food. Paul didn't go home, but he did stop in the same neighborhood. He probably just didn't want to be alone in his house.**

**Everything was going smoothly until we saw Paul jump out of his car and start choking. We checked the car and found a puke inducing, maggot infested burger . . . And another hex bag.**

**Sam destroyed it with fire while Dean tried to calm Paul down so the man could breathe.**

"**A'right . . . Number one: Ew! Number Two: Who the hell did you and your wife piss off?" I knew I sounded harsh, but I couldn't understand what was going on. Demons I understood to an extent, but people who did spells to hurt people? No, I couldn't understand that.**

"**What the hell is happening to me?" Paul asked.**

"**Someone murdered your wife and now they're trying to kill you," Dean explained bluntly. "That's what's happening. If we hadn't been following you, you'd be a doornail right now. Now, who wants you dead?"**

**Paul explained that he'd had an affair with an unbalanced woman who had been blackmailing him. It had been an **_**accident**_** and he'd broken it off a week before.**

"**An accident?" I scoffed. "Running off the road into a ditch is an accident. Having an affair is a choice. Never a good one."**

**Dean nudged me in the back and muttered, "I hardly think now is the time for a lecture. Stop being judgmental."**

**Judgmental? I was not judgmental. I just wasn't open to certain things. Like cheating. It was a serious no-no in my book.**

**Paul gave us the woman's name and address and we were there within ten minutes. All the lights were out and we picked the lock. Obviously the guys thought no one was home. We had our guns out, though, just in case. I was not in the mood to kill anyone, so I hoped the witch wasn't here, or at the very least had had her fun and now was done.**

**But the witch was here, only she wasn't a problem anymore because she was already dead. We found her in a study type room. Her wrists had been cut three times each, vertically.**

"**That's a curveball," Dean said.**

"**Yeah," Sam agreed.**

**I was half expecting the woman to jump up and not be dead because in horror movies that always happened, but she didn't.**

**Sam suddenly looked like he was going to hurl and, because I was obviously wondering what had made him look like that, I glanced at whatever he was looking at. It was . . . some kind of food, but for the life of me I couldn't say what kind. But it was rotten and full of bugs. Obviously part of the maggot burger spell.**

"**Ew!" Then I grinned half-heartedly. "Who wants to go for pizza after this?"**

**Sam rolled his eyes and Dean swatted me playfully on the back of the head.**

"**It looks like she was working some heavyweight evil here," Sam said.**

"**Yup."**

**Suddenly I heard an 'Oh, God!' come from Dean, and my head shot in his direction. He had almost run directly into a rabbit, which looked like it had been hung upside down with a slit throat. The better to drain the poor animal of its blood, I supposed.**

"**I guess we know where she got the rabbit's teeth from."**

"**Paul sure knows how to pick, 'em, huh? It's like **_**Fatal Attraction**_** all over again. And why does a rabbit always get screwed in the deal?"**

**Dean sounded like he was actually affronted, and I hid my face so they wouldn't see me smile. Really my sense of humor had really become morbid lately and had the bad habit of popping up in the most inappropriate times.**

"**Poor little guy."**

"**You'll be okay," I said, patting Dean on the arm affectionately - and maybe a little sarcastically.**

"**You know what I don't get, Dean?" Sam asked, ignoring our other-than-work talk. "If she was so bent on revenge, why do this?"**

**If he was referring to her killing herself . . . I was wondering that myself.**

"**Well, she got Janet Dutton; thought she finished off Paul . . . Decided to cap herself, make it a spurned lover's hat trick."**

"**I would never kill myself over a guy, I'm just sayin'. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of."**

**Dean grinned. "Well, you're not completely unhinged. And you're being judgmental again."**

"**I'm suddenly not caring if I'm judgmental as long as I'm right." I put a hand on my hip and made a show of looking snooty. "And in this case I am right."**

"**Uh . . . Actually . . ."**

**Dean and I looked at Sam, who was holding another hex bag. So this woman hadn't killed herself. Apparently I was wrong and judgmental. I still didn't care much one way or the other.**

"**Looks like we got a hit, huh? A little witch-on-witch violence. Why are witches gankin' each other?"**

"**I don't know, but I think maybe we got a coven on our hands."**

"**A coven, as in a group of witches that have no problem casting horrible spells on people? Great."**

**Dean called the death in to the cops but didn't leave his information, obviously. There was nothing else we could do until we found the coven so we went back to the hotel. The rooms had a Spanish feel to them and it was hokey, but whatever. We needed a place to sleep.**

**I still hadn't told Sam or Dean about the book I'd gotten from the Trickster. I knew they wouldn't understand. Dean would probably take it from me and I wanted to go through it first. On the off chance that it was true, I wanted to know myself.**

**As was our routine, Dean walked me to my door and made sure all the protection stuff was in place. I knew it was because he cared and it worried him since I wasn't sleeping in his and Sam's room anymore. Him checking over things was his way of saying that even though we weren't together he still cared. Sometimes we even kissed each other on the cheek to say goodnight. It wasn't a lot, but it was better than nothing.**

"**So Sam's gonna look up a few things tonight about witchcraft and then we'll go back to that woman's place tomorrow and ask around, okay?"**

"**Yeah. Sounds like a plan."**

**Dean hovered near the door like he was wondering whether to leave or not. Then he just sort of blurted, "Are you okay? I mean, it's like you change every day."**

"**Oh." I hadn't expected for him to bring it up so soon. "Well, I can't always be sweet, innocent Alyson. That's not who I am anymore. I wouldn't be able to survive if I were. I mean . . . you're the one who takes care of me and Sam and you're not gonna be here in a few months, so . . . I don't have a choice but to be different than I was."**

"**Sam will take care of you; you don't have to change."**

"**Yes, I do," I replied softly. "Please understand."**

**Dean didn't say anything; he just shook his head and sadly left the room. What I had said was true. For me to survive I would have to leave the old me behind. I'd promised not to use my powers unless I **_**had**_** to, but that didn't mean I couldn't train in other ways. Dean and I already sparred and worked out together. Sometimes we would have to stop in the middle because the tension from fighting quickly became a different tension altogether.**

**Needing a distraction, I got my book out and began reading.**

* * *

**The next day, over a very greasy breakfast, Sam explained some of the things he'd researched. Basically anyone could be a witch if they were willing to get their hands dirty. If someone had a Book of Shadows that would be a clue. Those books were rumored to be written in human blood and bound in human flesh.**

"**Gross."**

"**Yeah."**

**It didn't seem to ruin Dean's appetite, though. I didn't think there was anything that could do that.**

**After breakfast we wound up back in the same neighborhood we'd been in the night before. Like Dean had said, we were going to talk to the neighbors. Speaking of, there was one right next door. She was out planting flowers or pulling weeds or something like that. I had never had much patience for gardening, but her yard was beautiful.**

"**You much have a green thumb," Sam said as we walked over to the woman. "Getting these plants to grow out of season like this. It's quite impressive."**

**The woman, who we knew was named Elizabeth from the research Sam had done, didn't seemed happy with the compliment; she just looked at us. Sam introduced himself as Detective Bachman and Dean as Detective Turner. If I hadn't been used to them using names like that, I'd have rolled my eyes. As always I was job shadowing.**

"**We're following up on Amanda Burns' death. Going around talkin' to the neighbors and stuff like that."**

"**But didn't she - I mean, she killed herself, right?"**

"**Maybe," Sam answered vaguely.**

"**Were you friends with the deceased?"**

"**Yeah, I guess so. We knew each other well enough to be in the same book club."**

"**Did you have any idea about her practices?"**

"**I'm sorry, what kind of practices?"**

"**Well, her house was littered with Satanic paraphernalia," Sam explained.**

"**No, that - but she was an Episcopalian."**

**My radar suddenly went off and I tuned the other three out; I wanted to see what was giving off those vibes. Two women were coming from across the street. One was blond, the other brunette. Obviously it was one of these two. The blond got on my nerves almost instantly; she was just so insincere.**

**Elizabeth explained who we were and why we were there and the blond one just said, "I'm sorry, but as you can see, Elizabeth is a little upset."**

**We found out the blond was **_**Mrs. Renee Van Allen**_**. I had never wanted to hit somebody so much in my life. I just wanted to see the shocked expression that would be on her face as my hand made contact with her face.**

"**Would you like me spell it for you?" she snarked.**

"**Nope, I think we can figure it out on our own," I said. "We have brains, that's what they're for."**

_**Bitch**_**, I added silently.**

"**This Amanda business has been hard for Liz, for all of us."**

"**Yeah, I mean, you think you know a person."**

"**Well, I guess we all have secrets, don't we?" Dean said.**

**We excused ourselves and went back to the car.**

* * *

**Later that day on a back road, after having spent the majority of our time at the library, we talked about the three women. I had already told them one of them was evil, possibly possessed, and I voted for the blond one.**

**We were sure those three were the coven because of Elizabeth's garden and the way the other two had come to the rescue.**

"**Well, if they killed a nut job should we thank them or what?" Dean asked.**

"**They're workin' black magic, too, Dean. They need to be stopped."**

"**Stopped like **_**stopped**_**?" Dean asked. "They're humans, Sam."**

"**They're murderers."**

**There was moment where I was sure Dean was going to mention that Sam never agreed with killing people, but it passed and instead Dean said, "Burn, witch, burn."**

**Sam went on to tell us about how Elizabeth and Renee had had a good run of luck lately. It was like magic. So they were using magic to win awards and raffles? Seemed kind of petty to me.**

**Suddenly the car died . . . There was a rattling sound and then nothing. And there was someone in the middle of the road.**

**Ruby.**

**When the car stopped rolling we three got out and Ruby started talking.**

"**You need to listen, there's no time. You have to get out of town."**

"**So this is Ruby, huh?" Dean hadn't seen her until now. And he wasn't happy about her appearing out of nowhere. And killing his car? Probably not the best way to introduce one's self. "Never had the pleasure. I was hopin' you'd show up again."**

**Dean aimed the Colt at Ruby and I had to stop myself from grabbing his arm; I did **_**not**_** defend demons. Speaking of, why hadn't I felt her until now?**

"**Point that thing somewhere else."**

**Dean gave a fake laugh. "Right."**

**Ruby rolled her eyes. "Sam, please. Go. Get in the car. Don't look back."**

"**Why? I don't understand."**

"**Hey, hot stuff, we can take care of a few kitchen witches, thanks."**

"**I'm not talking about witches, you jackass. Witches are whores. I'm talking about who they serve."**

**Sam and I came to the same conclusion. "Demons."**

"**They get their power from demons," Sam added.**

"**Yeah. And there's one here. Now." Ruby looked at me. "But you already knew that."**

**Apparently Dean didn't like that Ruby - a demon - was talking to me because he shielded me with his body.**

"**Sam, it knows you're in town. It's gonna come after you, and it's way more than you can handle."**

"**Please tell me you're not listening to this crap," Dean said.**

"**Put a leash on your brother, Sam, if you wanna keep him!"**

"**Dean -"**

"**No. She's messin' with your head. God knows why, that's who they are."**

"**I'm telling you the truth!"**

"**And I'm telling you to shut up, bitch!"**

"**I'm sorry, why're you even a part of this conversation?"**

"**Oh, I don't know. Maybe because he's my brother, you black-eyed skank."**

"**Oh, right, right. You care about your brother so much, that's why you're checkin' out in a few months, leavin' him all alone? At least let me try to save him since you won't be here to do it anymore."**

**Just like that Dean shot at her but she'd already disappeared. Dean would've missed anyway because Sam had quickly pushed Dean's arm up so he'd fired into the air.**

"**What the hell, Sam!" Dean yelled. "She's a demon; we kill her before she kills us."**

**I didn't say anything about it; I literally couldn't because I'd have many chances myself to kill Ruby and I hadn't. She'd saved my life; she'd helped with the Colt; she knew about things that we didn't. She could be very useful.**

"**Dean, if she wanted us dead all she would have to do is stop saving our lives."**

"**She's a demon, Sam. Period. A'right? They want us dead; we want them dead."**

"**Oh, that's funny. Remember that demon chick in Ohio? Casey? You didn't want her dead."**

"**Well, she wasn't stringing me along like a fish on a hook."**

"**No one's stringin' me along," Sam said. He seemed to be trying to hold onto his last thread of patience. "Look, I know it's dangerous, that's **_**she's**_** dangerous. But like it or not, she's useful."**

**I nodded my head so they would know I agreed with that statement. I **_**had**_** just thought it myself.**

"**Look, we have to start looking at the bigger picture. We have to start thinking in strategies and moves ahead. It's not so simple; we're not just hunting anymore."**

"**We're at war," I said softly, showing Sam that I knew where he was coming from. I knew feeling alone was not a good thing and Sam did have a valid point.**

**Dean looked like he was listening, much like he had with me the night before. Also like the night before, he didn't seem to like it.**

**By this time we had already gotten the car restarted and were heading back to the motel. I hadn't noticed the name until now. **_**The Conquistador**_** - no wonder it had a Spanish feel to it. Once inside the guys room, Dean went to the sink and ran some water over his face, probably just the give him something to do.**

**When he was done he turned back around and looked at Sam. "Are you feelin' okay?"**

"**Ugh, why're are you always asking me that?" Sam sat on the bed.**

"**Because you're takin' advice from a demon, for starters. And by the way you seem less and less worried about offing people. Y'know, it used to eat you up inside."**

"**And what has that gotten me?"**

"**Nothin'. It's just what you're supposed to do, okay? We're supposed to drive in the friggin' car and friggin' argue about this stuff. You go on about the sanctity of life and all that crap."**

**Sam had seemed to think Dean's rant - for lack of a better word - had been funny because he was smiling.**

"**Wait. You're mad because I'm starting to agree with you?"**

**Dean sat on the bed opposite Sam and I seated myself at the table. Sometimes I felt guilty for intruding on their brother moments, but, on the other hand, I hated to miss them too.**

"**No, I'm not mad. I'm worried, Sam. I'm worried because you're not acting like yourself."**

**Dean sounded tired all of a sudden, like maybe the worry was too much.**

"**Yeah, you're right. I'm not," Sam agreed. "I don't have a choice."**

"**What is that supposed to mean?"**

"**Look, Dean, you're leaving, right? And I gotta stay in this crap-hole of a world. Alone."**

**I didn't mention the fact that he wouldn't be alone because he'd have me and Bobby because I wasn't sure Sam would want us around after Dean was gone. Another reason I didn't speak was because my eyes were suddenly on Dean because he kind of looked like he'd gotten a sudden case of the stomach flu.**

"**So they way I see it . . . If I'm gonna make it, if I'm gonna fight this war after you're gone then I gotta change. Into you. I gotta be more like you."**

**Dean's expression was neutral for a few seconds and then he was groaning and holding his stomach.**

"**What's wrong?" I asked, standing up and moving to him.**

"**I don't know. It feels like there's a bunch of knives inside of me."**

**I looked at Sam and his expression told me the same thing I was thinking. This obviously wasn't normal; something was definitely wrong.**

"**The witches?" I asked, sitting by Dean.**

"**It's gotta be," he said.**

**Dean grabbed my arms and I could tell how much pain he was in by how hard he squeezed. He was hurting me but I didn't try to tug away. He needed something to ground himself.**

"**It's okay, don't worry. We just have to find the hex bag," Sam said urgently.**

**It was while Sam was searching the cabinets where the pillows were that Dean started screaming. And then he started bleeding, coughing up blood, and I knew we were in trouble.**

"**Sam, hurry up!"**

**Sam looked everywhere - he even cut into the mattresses. Zero joy.**

"**I can't find it!"**

"**Well . . . I'll stay here with Dean. You go . . . Do what you have to do."**

**I held onto Dean, who was now on the floor trying to cough up a lung, and watched as Sam got the Colt out of Dean's bag.**

"**Sam, what're you doing?" Dean asked weakly.**

**It was pretty obvious what Sam was doing and he didn't have time to answer anyway, so he just left.**

"**Dean, what d'you want me to do? Do you want me to try and heal you? I don't know if I can, but . . ."**

"**No. You could hurt yourself."**

"**And you could die!" I almost yelled. "Let me help you."**

"**I'm gonna die anyway," he yelled back. "Just look for the hex bag."**

**Sam had torn the room apart and hadn't found it, what was I supposed to do? But I listened. Dean would've fought me off had I tried to do anything to him. Sometimes Dean's self-sacrificing crap got on my nerves.**

**As I was looking, Ruby burst into the room and I moved closer to Dean instinctively. He was vulnerable right now and I wasn't going to let him get hurt further. I realized I'd actually felt her this time and I'd known it was her. I guess since I actually **_**knew**_** her she had her own feeling or something.**

"**You wanna kill me?" Dean asked from his spot on the floor. "Get in line, bitch."**

**I forced myself not to roll my eyes. Even when he was two inches from death he was still snarky.**

**Then suddenly Ruby was grabbing Dean and tossing him on the bed.**

"**Hey!" I shouted, grabbing her arm. "What're you doing?"**

"**Helping your boyfriend," she said.**

**I hesitated because I didn't know if she was telling the truth. If I let her do this and Dean got hurt or worse, it would be my fault. But if I didn't let her do this . . . It would still be my fault.**

"**If this is a scam, I'm gonna kill you," I said honestly.**

**Ruby had a leather pouch at her side, the kind cowboys had to carry water in. There was some kind of greed liquid in it and she squirted some in Dean's mouth. He choked on it and I knew he was trying not to swallow it.**

"**I'm sorry," I said. I didn't want Dean to think I'd betrayed him in some way. I was not choosing Ruby's side, but she'd had a way to save him, so . . .**

"**Stop calling me bitch," Ruby said after Dean had finally given in and was breathing normally, without coughing.**

**I helped Dean up and was relieved when he let me without complaint.**

"**Next time you point that gun at me, I'm not gonna just disappear, understand?" Ruby said softly but firmly.**

"**You . . . saved my life." Dean looked like he couldn't believe it. He **_**sounded**_** like he couldn't believe it either.**

"**I told Alyson that not all demons are the same."**

"**What was that stuff you gave him? How did you even know he needed it?"**

"**God, it was ass," Dean said. "It tasted like ass."**

**I let a few laughs out, glad to know he was okay enough to be thinking about the taste of what had saved him. I didn't think to ask **_**how**_** Dean knew what ass tasted like.**

"**It's called witchcraft, short bus," Ruby said. "Now do you want to save your brother or not?"**

**Dean and I didn't waste anytime grabbing a few weapons and following Ruby.**

"**So . . . Demon airlines or a stolen car?" I asked.**

"**I am not mass transportation," Ruby said. "And you can't handle the ride, remember?"**

"**Oh, I can handle it. Just get us there, yeah?"**

**Dean did not look like he wanted anything to do with this way of traveling, but it was the quickest way there was, so he agreed. Reluctantly.**

* * *

**We ended up at Renee Van Allen's house and I immediately felt the demon inside. Like the last time Ruby had transported me somewhere, I felt sick from it. I didn't vomit this time, though, so that was a plus.**

**Dean went in first because he was Dean, but I wasn't far behind. As soon as we walked in - ran in - Dean was tossed aside. He landed okay but was soon held against the wall by the brunette from earlier. So the demon wasn't Renee - Renee was dead on the floor. I couldn't say I wasn't surprised. Renee had definitely been bitchy enough, but Tammi, the brunette, had been the only one who hadn't gotten anything out of this witch thing. So . . . Looking back, it made sense.**

**I noticed Sam was being held against another wall. Only he was a few feet off the ground. And where the hell was Ruby? She hadn't come in with us.**

_**Oh, God. This was a trap!**_** I thought angrily. **_**And I fell for it**_**.**

**Well, that was okay. I could get rid of a demon on my own. Not with an exorcism, but the result would be the same. The demon would be gone.**

**But before I could do anything I was on my knees, choking, and Tammi had her hand raised and clenched into a fist. I couldn't breathe and it felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest. I was screaming silently and I was aware of Dean and Sam yelling in the background. Then there was a bluish light coming out of my mouth.**

"**Look, isn't it pretty?" Tammi asked. "That's you're soul, by the way. It's all whole and nice. It won't be when I'm done with it."**

**I wanted to tell her to put it back - it was mine, after all - but without my soul I really couldn't breathe. I was going to die. I was going to . . .**

* * *

**When I came to I realized I was still in the same place I'd been in before. Obviously I hadn't been out long - just long enough for my soul to go back where it was supposed to be.**

**There were sounds of a struggle and I heard a crash. It was Ruby and Tammi. Sam and Dean were still being held against their will.**

"**You're really telling me you threw in your chips with Abbott and Costello here?" Tammi asked.**

**It occurred to me that I'd been wrong about Ruby; this wasn't a trap. The blond was getting her ass kicked. Tammi was hitting her with a fire poker.**

**As Tammi picked Ruby up by her jacket collar I scooted back and my hand slid over something sharp and pointy. Ruby's knife. The **_**demon**_** killing knife.**

"**We've been here before, haven't we?" Tammi asked. "Hm." Tammi looked at Sam and Dean; she didn't seem worried about me. "Pretty mortifying, I guess. She was one of mine. I turned her out a long, long time ago. Ruby here was a witch. Of course that was when you were human."**

**Ruby had been . . . human? And a witch? And she had served this demon? No wonder she'd known so much about it when she'd warned us.**

"**Didn't want your friends to know? That all those centuries back you sold yourself to me? Embarrassing, I guess. But don't worry, love. No secrets where you're heading, remember?"**

**I was continuing to move back and I brought the knife with me. I wasn't strong enough to stand yet so I was hoping Tammi would get distracted and let the guys go. As of now, she seemed to be doing to Ruby what she'd done to me, only there wasn't any blue light coming from **_**her**_**. It was all black demon smoke. Then Tammi was choking and spitting up blood and my wish came true. She was distracted.**

**The next events happened in quick succession. Elizabeth was killed - I was pretty sure Tammi had made her ribs puncture her heart because I heard bones crunching and then the poor girl was clenching her chest; she'd been casting a spell to stop Tammi - Ruby no longer had demon smoke coming out of her mouth, then Dean was grabbing the knife from me and Tammi was quickly disposed of.**

**I became aware of Sam groaning and I realized I was leaning against him. He'd fallen on his ass right behind me.**

"**You okay?" we asked in unison. Then we both said no.**

**Dean came and helped us up. I grabbed onto his arm to steady myself; I was really dizzy.**

"**Go," I heard. "I'll clean up this mess."**

**It was Ruby. Her nose was bleeding from the beating she'd taken. And she was right; this place was a mess. Broken shelves, broken TV, three dead bodies. And I had no problem leaving her to deal with it. I couldn't have helped if I'd wanted to.**

**It didn't matter anyway. No matter how much Ruby cleaned up, Renee's husband was going to need a year's worth of therapy when he came home.**

* * *

"**Ow!"**

"**Stop being a baby," I reprimanded softly.**

"**I'm sorry, you're not the one who has glass in your skull," Dean said.**

"**Well, if you would hold still . . .!"**

**Sam, Dean and I were back at the motel and I was playing nurse. Sam had bruises but no open wounds. Dean, however, had hit a picture frame with the back of his head. Hence the glass. Every time I touched his wounds with tweezers, though, he ducked away.**

"**Sam, make him be still," I said.**

"**Work it out yourself. It's good for you."**

**Sam had already made himself comfortable on the bed - they'd had to get a new room seeing as their other one was destroyed.**

"**Sam! Help!" I was mostly joking. I could handle Dean on my own. If only he would behave. "I will leave it in there if you don't stop."**

**If he was going to act like a child, I was going to treat him like one. That seemed to do the trick; he didn't like people treating him like a kid no matter how immature he was being. So when the glass was finally out I healed the wound and gathered my things to get ready to go.**

"**Hey, aren't we even gonna talk about what happened?" Sam asked. "You almost had your soul sucked out."**

"**No, she did have her soul sucked out," Dean corrected. "The only reason she's alive is -"**

"**Ruby," I said. "I know; I don't want to talk about it."**

**In fact, I'd tried not to even think about it. It had been terrifying because I hadn't only been going to die; I'd been close to being sent to Hell. That was what Tammi had meant when she'd been talking about how whole and nice my soul was and how it wouldn't be when she was through with it.**

**And then what we'd learned that night. Ruby had been human at one point. That meant that Dean, who was human now, could become a demon when he died. Hell, he might be demon I got rid of one day.**

"**I'm goin' to bed."**

**Dean walked me to my room but we didn't talk. I couldn't; my throat was tight now and I knew if I tried to talk, my voice would crack.**

* * *

**Alright, this is my latest offering after a LONG break - I guess you could call it? Hope you enjoyed.**

**Love you guys**


	28. explanation 2

Okay, here's another explanation. I know I've only been focusing on TVD lately, but that's because I actually have more chapters of that written. And in my last explanation I told you my computer crashed, which meant that I lost everything - my Supernatural stories, my Twilight stories . . .

That's why I haven't been updating Supernatural. I've been in the process of trying to get everything back together so I can continue.

That being said. I'm going to be rewriting Supernatural and Twilight because I want to do it in a different point of view. It used to be easier using a first person point of view, now it's not. Now it's easier using a third person point of view because I can do more than one point of view at a time.

I know that's probably not what you guys want to hear, but that's what I'm doing. I won't be changing anything too drastically because I like my story lines; I just want to be able to do different points of view.

I'm so sorry! And I'm going to buy a flash drive - or however many I need to fit my stories on there so I won't lose anything if my computer crashes again.


	29. Chapter 29

Explanation

Okay, so . . . here's what been up. I don't know how many of you know this, but I'm in the process of rewriting my Supernatural story. It's not going to change _a lot_ but I don't like first person POV anymore. It's easier and more detailed if I used second or third person. I realize that that's a LOT of rewriting. But that's the way it is.

I'm not sure when or how often I'll be able to update it. I have a lot going on right now in the form of health problems and doctor's visits, and on top of all that I'm homeschooling my cousin, which takes up the majority of my time.

I'm also in the process of studying for SAT's and filling out college applications and financial aid forms.

As you can see, and hopefully understand, I don't have a lot of time for more than one story right now. I've been caught up in Vampire Diaries but, even so, those were pre-written chapters, which is why I've been able to update that one consistently.

I hope you guys understand and don't give up. I will start updating soon, I just don't know how frequently I'll be able to do so.

Love ya!


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